Two weeks later the two lay together their chests heaving. "That was even better then last night." said Gaila laying her head on Kirk's muscled chest.
"That was better then I remembered it from before." said Kirk running his hands over her side.
"I've learned a few things since the last time we were together." she said closing her eyes.
"Like what?" he said.
"Like that trying to connect feelings with sex is just naive." she said. "This is the best way not to get hurt but still enjoy life."
"Is that because of what I did?" said Kirk.
"Not just because of you." said Gaila. She glanced at her dresser and jumped. "Shit I have to go." She rolled over Kirk and pulled her uniform from the floor.
"What is it?" said Kirk sitting up to admire her bare body
"Someone's paged me to fix their console fifteen minutes ago. And this late at night I am the only tech consultant on duty this late." she said checking her PADD. "I don't need anyone else yelling at me today." She mumbled under her breath as she tugged on her boots.
...
Gaila rushed down the hallway running her hands through her hair. She paused as she checked the location of her next appointment: the medical bay. She was almost positive it was Bones trying to talk to her again. Ever since that morning in the cafeteria he had tried to corner her at every opportunity possible but she had refused to listen. On the off chance that it was an actual computer problem she continued forward. She would just get in, fix the computer and get out. If he tried to talk to her she would pretend she couldn't hear him.
She inhaled slowly and walked into the medical bay. "McCoy." she said cooly eyeing him across the room. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm trying to open this video clip but the computer keeps giving me error message..." he leaned over to check his screen. "J-dash, seven, six, four, R."
"That means the file is corrupted or blocked by security protocol." She said sitting behind his desk and scanning though the lines of code. "Before I try to rebuild it line by line I'm going to just disconnect the security firewall. She slid to her knees and reached under her desk carefully pulling her skirt down.
"Don't you have to do that on the computer." He said leaning down to look at her.
"I would if whoever designed this system had half a brain." she said fumbling at the back of the computer. "All I have to do is disconnect this wire-" she pulled one wire from the back of the console. "And put this one-" she pulled out another. "Here. Our security wall is a joke." she mumbled. "Try opening the file now."
She said antsy to get away from him with as little eye contact as possible. She heard him double click the file and waited to hear if it worked. She heard a familiar voice and straightened up instinctively banging he head on the bottom of the desk. She rubbed her head as she slowly pulled herself out from under the desk.
"...started off as just a game but… it's more then that. Uhura, I really like him. More then I've liked anyone since I've come to Starfleet. He made me feel nervous and flustered. No one's ever made me feel like that. I feel like I need him. Does that make sense?" Uhura looked at the security surveillance from the night she had spent with him. He bent down and paused the video as she stood up.
"I-I thought this got deleted." she said staring at the screen. "You told me you deleted it." She looked up at him.
"I did." he said. "And because the best technical consultant on the ship refused to enter the medical bay it took me longer then I expected to retrieve it."
"But why-" she said looking back at the screen.
"I am sorry about what I said that night." he said. "But I was hurt-"
"And you think I wasn't?" she said closing the file. "I told you something I had never told anyone else and you threw it back in my face."
"And I will understand if you never forgive me for that." he said. "But I have been trying to tell you since that night that I believe you. In the moment I wouldn't listen to reason but as soon as you left I regretted it."
"Then why didn't you tell me that?" she said stepping away from him.
"I tried but when I got to your room you were there with..."
"Kirk." she said. "I just- I was hurt and he was there and willing to listen. I figured it would be a one night thing but then I was just so angry and you looked as hurt as I felt that I just-" She closed her mouth and her eyes looking away from him.
"Gaila." he said stepping closer to her but still not quite touching her. "I'll understand if you never want to speak to me again but I think that if you ever could forgive me we'd be great together. Incredible." He slowly reached up and brushed her hair off her face stroking her cheek.
"Leo." she said still not looking at him but her voice softer.
"I missed hearing you say that." he said pulling her into him resting his hand on her lower back.
"I can't just leap back in to this- Us." she said resting her hands on his chest but not pushing him away. "What you said to me just cut down to this part of myself I never thought I would expose again. I had given up on finding someone who could care about me for more then what I could do to them."
"Just give me one chance." he said cupping her face in one hand. "If I mess up again you never have to speak to me again just one chance." He tilted her face up to his. "Please." he pulled her face up to his kissing her gently. Her brain screamed at her to push him away and run back to her uncomplicated, sex-filled non-relationship with Kirk but instead of pushing him away she felt herself wrap her arms around him. She tried to back away from him but he held her tighter and backed her into the wall. She tried to speak again but he wouldn't let her pull away and part of her was glad she couldn't. He tightened his fingers around her waist and she gasped finally turned her head away.
"Stop, stop." she said pulling her hands away rom his chest. "Leo you can't do this to me." she said still pinned to the wall by his hands. "You can't kiss me like that and just expect me to forget what you did and just fall back into bed with you." She dropped her head to avoid looking in his deep brown eyes.
"What do I need to do?" he said rubbing his hands up and down her sides. "Ask me to do anything and I will."
"I-I don't know." she said feeling her eyes start to cloud over with tears. "I don't know what to do. If I was smart I would just say no and I would run and never look back." She looked up at him as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. "But I can't. I can't walk away from you and I don't know why."
"Then just try this. Let's see where this goes." he said stroking her hair.
"But- I-" She stuttered and tried to push him away again but she couldn't push him away and she couldn't speak.
"Say it." he said. "Say whatever you need to say to me and I will listen." Gaila looked up at him and finally fell forward into him wrapping her arms around him sobbing.
"I miss you." she said through shaking breaths. "I've missed how you wrapped your arms around me and your smile and the way you look at me."
"I've missed you too." he said stroking her hair and pulling her into him. "What do you need me to do?"
"Nothing." she said. "You offering is all the apology I need." she said pulling back to look up at him.
"I will apologize to you everyday if I need to." he said kissing her again.
"You don't need to. But you have to promise me one thing." She pulled back to look at him.
"Anything." he said.
"You can never throw what I told you back in my face like you did that night or I will never forgive you and there will not be another chance. Can you promise me that?"
"Of course." he said. "I would never do that to you again. I regretted what I said the second it came out of my mouth."
"Another thing." she said looking up at him.
"What?" he said looking down at her concerned.
"I think I'm done talking." she said pulling him down to her mouth. He pressed her flush against the wall his hands braced on either side of her.
"I like the way you think." he said as he kissed her neck and she wrapped her arms around him.
"Leo..." she moaned raking her nails down his back. She gasped as his hand slid down her back and under the edge of her skirt.
"I can't control myself when I'm around you." he groaned in her ear.
"Then we should probably get out before someone walks in on us." she gasped as he worked her skirt up her thigh.
"Correction," he said bending down to scoop his arm behind her knees and pick her up. "I love the way you think." She grinned as he kissed her again and again as he took her through his office and into his bedroom.
"I'm sorry I didn't listen you sooner." she said looking up at him.
"Don't be." he said. "You had every right to despise me."
"And after I slept with your best friend you must be a saint not to hate me." said Gaila.
"Let's just realize we both made mistakes but we can both forgive." he said laying her back on his bed.
"I don't deserve you." she said looking up at him stroking his face.
"Don't say that." he said. "You deserve better then me."
"Doesn't exist." she said. She sat up pulling him down to kiss him again. He laid on his back pulling her on top of him. She giggled a real smile crossing her lips for the first time in days. He kissed her again and reached for the side zipper of her skirt. The same zipper Kirk and pulled down only hours ago... Bones gripped the same spot Kirk had held. "Stop." she said sitting up. "I can't- Not now."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" he said sitting up behind her.
"It's not you." she said turning to him. "I just can't- God it's so embarrassing I don't even want to say it." She said burying her face in her hands.
"Hey if we're going to be honest with each other you can tell me anything." he said. "Don't be scared to talk to me."
"I can't sleep with you." she said watching his face fall.
"I understand." he said rubbing her back gently. "You need time to be able to trust me again."
"No it's not that." she said. "I just can't sleep with you-" she paused closing her eyes. "And Kirk in the same night."
"Oh." said his hand stopping on her back momentarily. "So the two of you are still..."
"Yeah." she said. "Because whenever I tried to get through the night alone I would dream about you." she said and looked over her shoulder at him. "And I'd wake up alone."
"Well if you want you can spend every night here." he said. "And I'll sleep in the medical bay if you need space."
"Maybe not every night." she said. "But lots of nights if I can help it. With you. But I have to end things with Kirk first. I can't start something with you when he thinks we're still together."
"I can respect that." he said. "Do you want to go back to your room?"
"No." she said. "He'll be gone by now and just because I can't sleep with you doesn't mean I can't stay here with you." she said laying against his chest. She sat up quickly and looked up at him. "Right?"
"Of course." he said pulling her back into his chest. "Whatever you want."
"I want you." she said quietly as he lay back pulling her against him.
"Then you have me." he said. He looked down at her waiting for her to respond but she had already slipped off to sleep. He wanted to wake her up and talk with her all night but he saw the smile on her lips and knew he couldn't disturb her.