A/N: I'm not sorry for the end of the last chapter, even though lots of you seemed like you wanted to garotte me with piano wire while doing a shit on my mum. HOWEVER, the lovely MeraNaamJoker has written some serious pay off in this chapter, so no more complaining... hehe!

Chapter 8 - Bella's POV

When I pulled up in front of the small house, I knew right away where I would find Jake. He had to have been dying inside since he sent that letter, and there was only one place he went to find peace of mind when he was off-center. Jumping out of the car, I dashed to the doorway of the garage, only to smack right into a familiar tall, hard body. Broad hands splayed across my hips, steadying me. Before I pulled away to look at his face, the thought occurred to me that I hadn't even bothered to run a brush through my hair before diving behind the wheel. Oh well. Too late to primp now. Maybe he'd be distracted from the bedhead by the declaration I was about to make.

Looking up, I saw deep circles like bruises beneath Jake's long-lashed eyes. Remorse stabbed through my chest. Poor guy. If only I'd had the guts to tell the truth, I could have spared us both a hellish couple of days. His chest heaved against me as he searched my face for a clue. I couldn't decide what to say. "Yes!" or "Ohmigod that letter!" or "Take me, take me now?" For an endless moment, I wavered with nerves, and then made up my mind to leave him in absolutely no doubt about the way I felt—for once. I launched myself upward to kiss him. It took him about a second to respond, a second in which his lips were motionless with what I could only guess was shock.

After that, things moved really, really fast.

Jake's fingers slid under my ass and dug deep into my thighs, yanking me up against him. I scrambled higher up his body, locking my arms and legs around all that muscle and heat—he wasn't going anywhere without me—and opened my mouth beneath the insistent pressure from his. He grunted and held me impossibly tighter, hefting me effortlessly as his tongue slid against mine, teasing and stroking and making my head swim with delighted lust. Holy crap, he was good at this. I raked my fingers through his hair. He shivered, nipping at my lower lip. I did it again, just to see how he'd react, and was rewarded with a groan as he pivoted to stagger back into the garage.

A moment later, he set me down on the truck bed's lowered gate, and really got to work.

Freed from the need to support me, his hands were everywhere, moving over my shirt up and down my back in feather-light strokes, over my ribs, tracing heat across my belly and making me twitch with anticipation when he ran his fingers under the waistline of my jeans. Slowly, he moved the hem of my shirt up, out of his way, as his lips found the dip of my collarbone and then started working up my neck.

I heard myself moan when he brushed the underside of my bra; it sounded like somebody else's voice. Every inch of my body ached for his touch. When he palmed both my breasts, I practically purred with satisfaction and pulled him closer with my legs, rubbing myself against him like a teenager who'd just discovered the joy of the dryhump. Jacob groaned again. His hands trembled as he unhooked my bra's front clasp with expert ease. I gasped against his chest, hooking my fingers in his belt loops to hold him where he was as I arched into his grasp. Oh God, I absolutely had to, had to touch him right now, had to be skin-to-skin with him, or I would fall to pieces. I tore at his shirt, frantically trying to raise it over his head, until he pushed my fumbling hands away with a grin and did it himself, then did the same to me and tugged my bra off too.

I'm half-naked with Jacob Black floated through my thoughts, but I couldn't pay much attention to the realization because he was so beautiful and I couldn't reach him sitting like this and I needed to touch him, all of him. I clambered up on my knees and pressed myself to his chest. Goosebumps that had nothing to do with cold pebbled my skin. I ran my tongue up his neck once, twice, three times. He clutched my ass, holding me tight, and cursed. The helpless note in his voice sent excitement spiraling through my body to between my legs. I could do that to him, could make this strong man sound weak with wanting me. The power was going to make me drunk. Or orgasmic.

Orgasmic sounded good.

I leaned back to give him access to my boobs again, mind racing as he willingly took the hint. I hadn't had help in the orgasm arena for way, way too long, and here was Jake, face lowered to my chest, licking and sucking on my nipples in between whispers that sounded like "so fucking pretty" and "Bella Bella Bella" and "tastes so good." I dug my nails into his shoulders, holding on for dear life and trying not to shove myself into his mouth too obviously. His tongue was reducing my thoughts to a few dominant themes: yes and must get him inside me now now now.

Accordingly, I dropped my hands to the button of his jeans and worked it open. He froze as I drew the zipper down and pressed my palm to the erection bulging through his boxers. I tilted my head, trying to see his face as he leaned his head against my shoulder. His eyes squeezed shut while I watched. He breathed hard between gritted teeth; when I pulled the elastic at the waist away and slipped my hand inside to caress him he made a noise like a cross between a growl and a whine. His hips jerked forward. I dropped my gaze to see his hands curl into fists on the truck gate.

I heard the words come out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Jake, you're fucking huge—"

He laughed, cutting me off before I could embarrass myself further, but it sounded desperate. "You've gotta stop, B, or I'm gonna—fuck," as I curled my fingers around his length and stroked up and down, "oh fuck, honey… You don't understand, I've literally dreamed about you doing that for literally years and I'm literally trained to come like Pavlov's fucking dog with the bell if I see… you…" I ran my thumb over the tip, spreading the slick moisture that had already gathered there. "Shit!" Moving faster than I could see, he pulled my hands away from him. Next thing I knew, I was sprawled on our shirts in the bed and he was kneeling beside me, frantically working my jeans open.

"Jake…" I pouted, reaching for him, but he smacked my hands away again.

"Quit that, woman. You're going to single-handedly destroy my reputation."

For a bare second, a flare of doubt lit up in the back of my mind, but his hand sliding into my underwear promptly extinguished it. He knew exactly where to go, gently sliding up and down before concentrating on the bundle of nerves at the top, finding the right speed and pressure within seconds like he could read my mind. Since he wouldn't let me touch what I wanted most, I settled for digging the nails of one hand into his wrist as he circled and stroked and rubbed, and used the other hand to shove my jeans lower to give him better access. I was so turned on that his motion created embarrassingly loud, wet sounds, but Jacob seemed to like it, watching with rapt attention and smiling faintly whenever I would moan or whine—which I did a lot. It was as if my mouth didn't even belong to me anymore. He wouldn't let me give him the same thing and I wanted to do something together. So I slid my fingers down to intertwine with his… and that was exactly what I needed. I came so hard, I yelled with the force of it, clamping my thighs tight over our hands and writhing while I throbbed and arched off the clothes beneath my back.

"Oh my God," I gasped, opening my eyes again and turning to look at Jacob, whose face had gone expressionless except for a ruthlessly tightened jaw. "Oh my God, Jake, that was—that was—"

"Fucking amazing," he grated out, and yanked off my pants and underwear with one quick motion.

Resisting the urge to pull a Venus Rising from the Sea in response to my sudden nakedness, I instead stroked his sides and his forearms, neutral territory, as his gaze roved over my entire body. It stopped at one particular point, and his eyes narrowed just before he scooted down to hover less than an inch away from where I still ached and trembled.

"Bella," he murmured. I flinched at the sensation of his breath against my skin. "I've—kinda wanted to do this since I was thirteen—" Without another word, he spread my thighs wider and caressed me open with his thumbs, then ran his tongue up my soaked flesh, bottom to top.

I sobbed with gratification. He did it a couple more times, but then I grabbed his hair and tugged, begging, "Please, Jake, please, I need you inside me, don't make me wait anymore."

"Can't." He angled to hover over me, elbows on either side of my shoulders as he nuzzled my neck. "Condoms."

Oh, shit. Well… I was on the pill…

Except I had no idea how long it had been since the last time he'd slept with someone else, and now seemed a really bad time to ask. "You don't have any here?"

He laughed into my hair. "In the garage? I'm not the manwhore you think I am, B. Believe it or not I don't actually expect that I could get laid anytime, any place and store condoms accordingly."

"Go inside."

"Not gonna face Billy right now with a raging hard-on and nail marks on my wrist. Swear to God the man has Sex Radar even without the obvious clues."

I kissed his ear and caressed his hair. "I have some in my purse… Dammit. Except I was in so much of a hurry to get here after I read your letter that I forgot it. Good thing the local police force has been cut in half lately." We both sighed. "Well, there's only one thing to do."

"What's that?" he asked suspiciously, pulling back to meet my gaze.

Give you the most memorable blowjob of your life, was the correct answer, but I managed to keep a straight face as I replied, "We need to talk about your feelings, my feelings, and the status of our relationship. Seriously."

An expression of sheer incredulous horror flashed across his countenance, but he wiped it clean almost before I could take note of it and said, "Oh-okay. Um… Well, I guess you kind of already know how I feel, though. I mean, that letter I sent is my pathetic crush in literary form."

Aww. I angled up my chin to kiss his mouth. "Not pathetic at all. Do you know what I've been thinking ever since I got here?"

He sounded distracted as I kissed my way across his jaw. Good. "Uh… no, what's that?"

"About how different you are from when you were thirteen, and how you've turned into a really fantastic man, and about how good you look, and about how well you take care of everyone around you, and how I could persuade you to get naked with me at the first available opportunity."

He grinned, but chastised, "Well, shit, honey, you couldn't have given me a sign or something?"

I ducked my head in embarrassment. My hands were busy, pulling aside his boxers so they could get back to what they needed to do. "You're out of my league now! I'm just a nerdy cougar with no social life and no real major."

"Out of your league!" He helped me move the waistband and pushed my hand to his erection. We shuddered together. He groaned when I wrapped my fingers around him again but managed to continue in between labored breaths, "That's really… ridiculous… you're my dream girl, Bella, the… most awesome person… I've ever… oh fuck oh shit oh God—" as I licked the head. "Do that again." I obeyed, swirling my tongue and then sucking him deep into my mouth and throat. "Fuck."

I hummed around him in satisfaction as he raised his hands to rest on my head. After a minute, I set him free with a "pop" and said, "That letter was the best idea, ever. When I go home we'll have to have letter sex." I licked from bottom to top, relishing his gasp. "It'll be like phone sex but with way more delayed gratification. We'll be the Tantric Letter Sex gurus. Sting and Trudie will be phoning us for tips. Or, you know, writing." I took him back into my mouth.

He had stiffened from head to toe, though, and not in the right way. "When you go back?"

I looked up and blew out as I moved up. He twitched, but didn't look away, so I leaned back to say, "Well, yeah. When I leave. You know, to go back to Phoenix? Finish school? Like we talked about the other day? I mean, if I want to get into grad school I want my grades as perfect as possible so I can get scholarships and that means... Wait, what? Why are we talking about this right now? I'm giving you head, you freak."

He pushed away a little, pulling up his underwear. I watched in sad disbelief as all that lovely cock went away. "I'm sorry to pull a chick-worthy freak-out, here, B, but you don't exactly have the best track record with staying in touch after you're not in Forks anymore. Out of sight, out of mind... Is this sounding familiar?"

"Well, your dick is out of sight and I'm still thinking about it," I pointed out, sitting up.

He didn't laugh. "It isn't really encouraging when, then first time you go down on me, your main comment is about what'll happen when you're gone, Bella."

Bella? He was Bella-ing me? My jaw dropped in righteous indignation. "You have got to be kidding. I was joking! And for the love of God, Jake, do you honestly think I'm going to stay in Forks? That's like asking to end up at the bottom of a dead-end road. Population 3000, hello? I mean, you're not gonna stay, so quit acting like I led you on." He jerked back a little, and I bit my lip in remorse.

Before I could apologize, a draft gusted through the open doorway. Shivering, I grabbed my underwear and pulled it back on, then dragged my shirt over my head. I still felt completely exposed, so I dropped my head to let my hair cover my face as I reached for my jeans. "I can't believe you. Honestly. You say I'm your dream girl but then you go and pull something like this while I'm doing that?" A sudden thought occurred to me. "Oh my God. Am I just really bad at it?" Neither of my other two boyfriends—or maybe I should just say "my two boyfriends," no "other" required the way things seemed to be headed—had complained, but then again neither of them were exactly studs in the bedroom department so maybe they just hadn't realized.

He looked genuinely confused. "Bad at what?"

I indicated his general crotch area with a fluttery wave of my hand. "You know. Blowing you."

He snorted as he zipped up his fly. "No. You're great at that."

Why didn't that make me feel any better? Probably because he was pulling his old gray t-shirt back over his head. "Then tell me what the hell is going on!"

He ran his hands through his hair, making it stick out in crazy tufts. "I'm so fucked up in the head right now. Look, Bella, I appreciate you driving up here, but I'm not sure this is the right thing to do."

The fuck? I slid down off the truck and stood before him, glaring up with my hands on my hips. "The right thing to do, Jake? The right thing to do? Should I pretend you never wrote that letter? Pretend you never sent it? Pretend you didn't just strip me naked and give me possibly the best orgasm of my life just now? Why don't you go ahead and clue me in here?"

"I don't know! I just know that I can't—"

The words seemed to stick in his throat. Before he could work them out, I heard the front door of the house slam and Billy yell, "Jacob! Heading to Harry's for some fish fry!"

"Okay, Dad," Jacob replied, not looking away from me.

"Tell Bella I said hello! And remember what I said—sausage casing!"

Jacob winced. I wrinkled my nose in puzzlement. "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing. Listen, I think maybe you should head back to Charlie's for a while. I need some space to think. I'll call you?"

"Sure, sure. Maybe you could write." I watched, incredulous, as he walked out into the beginnings of yet another rainstorm. "I'll just... drive home then!" I called after him, waiting for him to tell me not to go, but he didn't. Once I heard the front door slam again, I collapsed into a befuddled heap on the cold concrete floor, trying to figure out what to do and how to reassure him. I wasn't going to leave; clearly that was the wrong route to take, and anyway I didn't want to.

I pulled my knees up to my chin, staring out into the misting rain without really seeing anything.

After about ten minutes of fruitless mental rehashing of events, I sighed. Note to self: Do not mention leaving to Jake, especially when involved in oral activities. I should've known better after our last conversation. This was ridiculous. I was just going to have to go after him and lay it all on the line. There was no reason this couldn't work out. After all, relationships like ours were the reason Skype was invented.

Rising, I dusted myself off and picked up my bra. I threw it into Ruby on my way to the porch, and then paced back and forth for a minute or two, trying to work up my nerve. I was about to knock, but then it occurred to me that Jake might refuse to open the door to me, so instead I gently pulled it open and stuck my head inside. When I did, I heard a low-pitched sound, followed by, "Bells…"

Hm. How could he have heard me come in? I slipped in, closing the door soundlessly behind me. Before I could call his name, I heard another choked moan.

"Bella…"

What… the…

I tiptoed down the hall to the door I remembered was his bedroom, and stopped dead, eyes widening.

Jake lay stark naked on the bedspread, one hand fisted in the blankets, and the other wrapped around his still-massive erection. He moved rapidly, clearly close to coming, eyes squeezed shut and teeth bared with intensity. I watched the way he gripped himself, fascinated and instantly, painfully aroused by the sight. He was so much less careful than I would have been, so much more harsh with his own body than he had been with mine. The veins in his arms and... elsewhere... bulged, making me want to run my tongue over each one. I pressed my thighs together against the ache as his fingers tugged, pulled, and...

"Bella," he gasped out again, and I made up my mind. Leaving my clothes in a hastily doffed puddle on the floor, I padded to his bed and climbed up to straddle him. Before I got my leg over his stomach, his eyes popped open and almost out of his head.

"Holy fucking shit!" He flailed backward in a frenzied movement, but I wasn't going to let him get away this time.

I grasped his hair with both hands and whispered, "No. Just... lie there and shut up."

He snapped his mouth closed. Before he could say anything, or could send me away for good, I lowered my lips to his.