Author's Note: In the literal English translations, the Forest Spirit is called the Deer God. I prefer this name, so in my stories he will always be referred to as the Deer God. As for the names of San's brothers, the night after my sister and I first watched Princess Mononoke, my sister had a dream where the two wolves came to her and said their names were Sambro and Komo. I couldn't think of better names, so those are the ones I used. I apologize for how long this chapter took. The problem with writing from San's POV is that you have to do things her way or else the whole story falls apart, which is why it took me so long to write. It ended up being so long that I decided to split it into two chapters. Part II should be posted soon. Thank you to all the people who read this story, even if you didn't review.

"We will get in so much trouble if Mother finds out," Sambro said for what seemed to San like the hundredth time.

"Don't worry, we'll be back long before she comes looking for us," Komo replied confidently. Sambro shifted uneasily, his claws scraping against loose rocks.

"Still, she's told us plenty of times to never come to the mountain pass without her. And…" Sambro hesitated before saying softly "None of us has ever killed a human before."

"How hard can it be?" San demanded. "They're stupid and weak. Anyways, ever since the human with the fire-weapons came to the iron-making town, there's been a lot of women traveling alone through the passes. Most of them don't carry weapons. They're easy targets." Sambro started to reply, but then he stiffened. He sniffed and turned to face the trail.

"Someone's coming," he said. Quickly the three siblings scrambled for cover, hiding behind the massive boulders that overlooked the pass. For San, each second seemed to limp along with painful slowness. Every muscle in her body felt tense with barely contained excitement. At last, she would be able to avenge the father she had never known, the gods who had been mercilessly slaughtered, all the injustices committed by humans. She could imagine the fight already: the ugly, sneering face of the human, the sudden fear at the sight of San and her brothers, the evil voice extinguished in a dying gasp. Abandoning caution, she peered over the rock, searching for a glimpse of her enemy.

Around a bend in the trail, a flash of movement appeared. The human who came into view was younger than she had expected - barely an adult, in human terms. Nervous eyes flicked warily from side to side, making San wonder if the woman had heard stories about the dangers of the mountain pass. She searched for arrogance, greed, cruelty, any of the emotions she had come to associate with humans. The only one she found was fear.

Somewhere far back in a part of San's mind that was still semi-human, a long forgotten feeling stirred: sympathy. Angrily, she shook it off. Even if this human wasn't a vicious killer (and they're all killers, she reminded herself), once she joined the humans of the iron-making place she would learn to use the fire-weapons and become one more enemy. Again San examined the human, looking for any obvious weak points.

Try to cripple them first, she thought, remembering her mother's instructions. A human who can't run is a dead human. Save the neck for the final blow. That's the soft spot on any prey. Her gaze flicked over the human's face, taking in large eyes, thin face, medium-length black hair- San leaned forward, momentarily distracted from her examination. The human was now close enough for her to see an odd necklace glinting around her neck. It appeared to be made of fangs strung on a thick cord. Even more interesting were the earrings the woman wore: large, silver disks that glittered in the sunlight.

"Those are pretty," she whispered. Komo yawned. He had never shared his sister's fascination with "pretty" things.

"Wait for it," Sambro muttered, ignoring his siblings. The human advanced farther up the trail.

"One," he counted. "Two…three…now!" Sambro and Komo leapt simultaneously, landing on either side of the human. San jumped after them and landed facing their prey. The woman stumbled back, her eyes wide with panic.

"Now you die, human," Komo growled. The woman continued to retreat. San recognized her tense movements and ragged breathing from numerous hunts- the characteristics of cornered prey. Sambro lunged, his teeth missing the human by inches. As San and Komo closed in, the human backed towards the edge of the cliff. Komo sprang forward and San realized what was going to happen an instant before it did. In an attempt to evade Komo, the human stepped back too far and fell. Her brief cry ended in a painful thud and a loud crack.

San and her brothers hesitated, exchanging uncertain looks. This had not been part of their plan. Slowly, almost timidly, they approached the edge and peered down. The human lay sprawled on a ledge several feet below. San couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. Apparently Komo was thinking the same thing because he asked "Do you think it's dead?"

"Only one way to find out," Sambro answered. He glanced at San in the falsely innocent way she had come to associate with dares and bruises.

"I'm not going down to check," she said flatly. "Do it yourself."

"The ledge is too small for me or Komo," Sambro replied. "You're the only one who can do it, San." San scowled. Sambro would have to do better than that to convince her.

"You're scared," accused Komo.

"I am not!"

"Yes you are. Scared of a puny little human!"

"Didn't you want that necklace the human had?" Sambro asked.

"And the earrings," Komo added. "You said they were 'pretty.'" There was no way for San to continue the argument without losing face. If she continued to refuse, her brothers would tease her relentlessly. And she had to admit that however unwolflike it was, she did want those earrings. Maybe the necklace too. She shrugged carelessly.

"Fine. I bet you two would be too afraid to go down even if the ledge was big enough." She quickly began her climb down the cliff edge before Sambro or Komo could retaliate. The stone was rough and jagged, filled with cracks that snaked along the cliff like interwoven tree roots. It was easy enough to find foot holds, but the harsh rocks left scrapes on her hands. Twice she lost her balance and slid a few feet before managing to halt her fall. Both times her brother's yelled encouragement and advice to her.

"You can always stop and climb back up if you can't make it all the way," Sambro offered.

"I've made it this far, haven't I?" San retorted. Glancing down, she saw with surprise that she had almost reached the ledge. She paused, allowing herself a brief rest, before completing the descent. Up close, she noticed again how young the woman was. How long did humans live? She only knew that their lifespans were far shorter than a god's. Her mother always became uneasy when she started asking questions about humans. Curiosity led San closer, until she could have touched the human. The silver earrings glittered invitingly. She reached for them- but then jerked back as the human's eyes opened.

"What's wrong?" Sambro called. "Is it still alive?" San looked up at him, then down at the human. Dark, pleading eyes met her gaze. It would be simple, she told herself, to answer "Yes" and push the woman off the ledge. That fall would certainly kill her. She could go back home and tell her mother how she had personally killed a human. Mother would be angry at first and scold her for going to the mountain pass without her, but later, wouldn't she praise San for her courage?

If she had turned back at that point to answer Sambro, perhaps she would have killed the human. But she turned instead to look at the human one final time. This time, she saw pain as well as fear in those dark eyes. She remembered the crack as the woman fell, and as she crouched on the pretense of checking for signs of life, she saw that the woman's right leg was broken.

"It's dead," she called up to her brothers.

"Then hurry up with taking that human junk you were so interested in," Komo yelled back. A little clumsily, San removed the necklace and earrings.

"I'll try to come back," she whispered, without quite knowing why she said it, before beginning the climb back up the cliff. The journey was slower this time because she was holding one of the earrings in each hand. The necklace she had wrapped around her wrist. By the time she reached the top, Sambro looked decidedly nervous.

"Let's get home as quickly as possible," he said as San climbed onto his back.

"I wish we could tell Mother about this," Komo said. "It would prove that we're old enough to go on raids with her."

"If she knew we'd been here alone, she wouldn't let us out of her sight for weeks," Sambro replied.

"Yeah, but we didn't get hurt or anything, did we?" Their conversation continued for most of the way to the cave. San, lost in thoughts about the human, barely registered their words until Sambro asked "Are you all right, San? You're very quiet."

"What?" said San, snapping out of her reverie. "Oh, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"You can think?" Komo teased. San growled and threatened to get him eaten by the boar god Nago, which made both her brothers laugh and lightened the mood considerably.

That night, San lay awake listening to the steady, rhythmic breathing of her family. The gentle sound contrasted sharply with the jumble of feelings inside her. She knew that humans were evil as surely as she knew that the sun set in the west and that Moro was her mother. Yet somehow, she felt this certainty waver each time she remembered the desperate, pleading look the human had given her. Letting her live was one thing, but actively helping a human would be the worst kind of betrayal. So why was she thinking about going back?

A terrible suspicion kept trying to sneak into her mind. Each time she pushed it out, it found a way to slink back in, until at last she was forced to face it. What if the reason she hadn't killed the human was because she herself was human? She rejected the idea at once. She was pure wolf. Her mother had assured her of that each time she asked. When she was younger, she used to think that she had been born a wolf but, after doing something really bad, she had been turned into a human as punishment. Now, she knew that she had been born to human parents, but why should that matter? She was what she chose to be.

San scowled and stood, careful not to wake her brothers. Moro always slept apart from them, but she moved with extra caution, just in case. She strode out onto the wide ledge that overlooked the forest, then sat down to think. If only there was someone she could talk to! Moro, Sambro, and Komo would all agree that she should have simply killed the human. There had to be someone else. Down in the forest, the kodamas began to click excitedly.

The Nightwalker must be coming, she thought. Of course! The Nightwalker! She stood, scanning the forest eagerly. He would know what to do. The Nightwalker could answer any question. In the distance, the Nightwalker's shimmering, deep blue form became visible. San hesitated, glancing back at the cave. She couldn't risk calling out to him without waking her family.

Closing her eyes, she thought as hard as she could Nightwalker! I need your help! She opened her eyes. The Nightwalker was moving away! San repeated her call. The Nightwalker paused. San's heart beat faster as the god slowly approached the ledge. The Nightwalker took life. If he was angry with her for sparing the human, he could kill her with a single touch. The Nightwalker stopped beside the ledge, watching her expectantly.

Now or never, San told herself. She took a deep breath and said "I was in the mountain pass with my brothers. We attacked a human and she fell off the cliff. I went to see if she had survived and-" she stopped. It felt as though the words were rising up to choke her. How could she explain her actions? How could she explain why she had let a human live?

"I told my brothers she was dead, but she wasn't. Somehow I just- I couldn't kill her. And I know it's wrong, but I want to go back to help her. I don't know what I should do." The Nightwalker raised his enormous, strangely delicate-looking hand. San resisted the urge to back away. The death god's gentle fingers brushed her face. New strength and certainty flowed into her. Again she saw the silent plea for help in the woman's eyes. The Nightwalker smiled at her. She smiled back and nodded.

The journey to the mountain pass took longer on foot than it had riding Sambro. By the time San reached the place where the human had fallen, the crescent moon had traveled halfway across the sky. Trying not to worry about how she would get back home by morning, she peered down at the ledge. The human was sitting with her back against the cliff, facing the forest.

Should I say something or just climb down? San wondered. Probably should say something, otherwise she'll panic.

"Hey, human!" she called. The woman jerked and twisted around to stare up at her. Before she could think about it any more, San lowered herself over the cliff edge and began the climb down once again. She tried to focus on finding the safest path down, rather than think about what she was doing.

The Nightwalker said it was the right thing to do. This human must be good…well, maybe not good, but she's not evil, not like the humans in the iron-making place. Maybe she's not even going there; maybe she's going to some other human place.

San dropped the last few feet, landing on all fours with practiced grace. She stood up and found herself once again locking eyes with the human. She searched frantically for something to say, trying to remember the human words her mother had taught her. The only thing she could think of was "Um… hello." The woman's gaze flicked up to the cliff path. San almost turned to look, before she realized what the human was expecting to see.

"My brothers aren't here," she said. Confusion entered the human's eyes.

"Your brothers?" she asked, speaking for the first time. With a painful jolt, San understood that to the woman, she appeared human. While the animals recognized her as a wolf, some humans might still see her as one of their own kind. Revulsion at the idea made her response harsher than she had intended.

"I'm a wolf. The wolves who were with me earlier are my brothers. You want my help or not?"

"Why are you helping me?" The question caught San off-guard. She hadn't planned on holding a conversation with the human. Unable to think of a response, she asked instead "Can you climb up on your own?" The human stood shakily, leaning against the cliff for support. She shook her head.

"Not with my leg broken. I already tried," she said. San gave the mountain side a quick examination. By her standards, it was a fairly easy climb. If the human couldn't handle it, she wasn't sure how much she could help. Well, if they couldn't go up the cliff…She crouched, staring at the rocky wall beneath the ledge. Cracks of varying thickness wove along it, providing easy hand holds. Farther down, she could see a deer trail winding along the cliff face. Climbing down, she reasoned, was much easier than climbing up. It wouldn't matter as much if the human slipped. She stood up confidently.

"We'll climb down," she said. The human looked dubiously at the sheer rock.

"Isn't there a safer way?" she asked. San growled with irritation. They were wasting time! She still had to return to the cave when this was all over.

"I'll go first," she said. "I'll help you." The human looked ready to launch another protest, so she quickly slid over the edge and began making her way down. After an instant of hesitation, the woman followed. San directed her, advising her on where to place her feet and where loose rocks made the journey treacherous. All the while she was wrestling with a difficult fact. Guiding the human down would not be enough. To ensure her safety, she would have to guide her all the way to the human town. Letting her travel alone with a broken leg would leave her too vulnerable to attacks from the other forest gods. San reached the bottom and stepped aside to let the human descend.

"A few more steps," she said encouragingly. The human slipped a little before finally reaching the end of the climb. Both of them now stood on the deer path. San pulled in a deep breath and then, resolutely, released it.

"You're going to the iron-making place?" she asked. The human nodded. San's determination wavered. The humans there were evil. They were vicious murderers who killed for pleasure and wanted to destroy the whole forest. What if this human became just like them?

The Nightwalker told me to help her. This must be the right thing to do.

"I'll take you there," she said. Grateful relief filled the human's eyes, followed almost at once by uncertainty.

"What about the other gods?" she asked. "Won't they try to stop you?"

"They won't question a member of the wolf tribe," San replied, which was half true. Although all the gods respected wolves, they had always been suspicious of her.

"Let's go," she said. She took a few steps down the path, then stopped, annoyed with herself. The human couldn't keep up with her leg broken. She turned back, allowed the human to put her arm over her shoulders for support, then started down the trail again.

She hated being so close to a human. It was impossible to walk with her normal wolf grace while half-carrying this clumsy human female. And that smell! She had rarely been close enough to notice the smell of humans, but now it blocked out all scents. It was similar to the faintly sour odor of the apes, she decided, but more pungent, lacking the soft aroma of dirt and plants that surrounded the forest creatures. She was almost relieved when the human spoke again; it provided some distraction.

"Who are you? Are you one of the gods or a spirit?" San knew better than to reveal her name.

"I'm Moro's daughter and a member of the wolf clan," she answered proudly.

"Moro?" the human repeated. Fear had crept back into her voice. "Isn't she the queen of the wolf gods? The one who's killed hundreds of humans?"

"She doesn't rule all the wolves," San replied. "Just our pack." She wondered if her mother really had killed hundreds of humans. What would she think of her attempt to save this human's life? She forced the thought out of her head in time to hear "So you're a mononoke hime."

"What?" she asked. Those were human words that she didn't recognize.

"A spirit princess. Mononokes are dangerous forest spirits." Mononoke hime. San liked the sound of it. She liked the idea of being a wild, courageous spirit, defending the forest from invaders.

"How old are you anyways?" the woman asked. "Nine? Ten?"

"I don't know." She had never thought to ask. How old had she been when her human parents had abandoned her? The fact that she couldn't remember them meant that she must have been very young. She hoped the human wouldn't ask any more questions like that. She didn't want to think about her human parents.

The path descended abruptly into the forest. Trees that appeared solid black in the dim moonlight closed ranks around them. Mice rustled and squeaked, falling silent when an owl hooted loudly. San felt no trace of fear. She couldn't see as well in the dark as her family could, but her knowledge of the forest was so good she could have traveled it blindfolded. The human, on the other hand, seemed almost as terrified as when Sambro and Komo had attacked her. She clung tightly to San, flinching at each animal cry.

Are all humans this cowardly? San wondered. No, they couldn't be. The new human, the one with the fire-weapons, was no coward. She endured the human's behavior as long as she could, before finally snapping "Why did you come here if you were so scared?"

"I had to," the human answered.

"No you didn't," said San irritably. "You had a home, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I couldn't stay there. Not after I heard about Lady Eboshi and Irontown." San's limited patience was rapidly wearing thin.

"Why not?" she half-snarled.

"Because I'm … I mean, I was a…" The human looked away. "You're too young to understand," she mumbled. San could have sworn she heard her own temper shatter. She had wasted her time to rescue a human who was a pathetic coward and couldn't even explain why she had come here!

"You were what?" she demanded savagely. The woman jerked away at her tone and almost fell. San made no attempt to help her. She felt a kind of vicious pleasure at the renewed fear evident in the human's face. She was a wolf. Humans should fear her. She ignored the quiet voice that whispered She's hurt and tired. You didn't have to yell at her.

"I- I was- " the human stammered. She hesitated, then forced herself to say "Do you know what the word 'prostitute' means?"

"No," said San flatly.

"Well it's …I…" her voice trailed off feebly. At last she said "Irontown is the only place I would ever be accepted. Anywhere else, I would be cursed and hated … or worse." San wasn't sure what she meant by "or worse," but the quiet voice was growing louder. She had, more or less, promised to help this human reach the iron-place. Was a little argument really worth leaving her to fend for herself? Before this internal debate could go any farther, a familiar, musky odor reached her. She whirled, teeth bared threateningly.

"What's wrong?" the human asked. San did not reply. She sniffed the air, confirming her suspicion. Switching back to the animal language, she growled "I know you're there. Come out!"