Author's Note: I really have been working far too hard on this. Well this is completely as far as I've written so far, so I may not be update next as quickly as I have been, although to be fair I have been loading each chapter VERY quickly.

On the whole I'm not sure I'm entirely satisfied with this chapter as it's meant to be incredibly intense and the main scene that I wrote this story for. However it's tension was built, in my mind, largely by complete silence and Light and L staring at each other, which there are actually only so many ways one can write before it becomes mind-numbingly repetitive. I hope however it hasn't come out too badly.

Because of my eagerness to update and concequently where I've chosen to cut it off it isn't that long a chapter after all but there is dialogue. 0.0 Although L dominates it a great deal in any case.

Confession

There followed anouther long pause before he motioned to the bed, "why don't you take a seat, make yourself comfortable." Light shifted on the spot and licked his lips as he considered how to respond, he was on the verge of asking L to let him out of this room immediately but he kept those words down. He would seam restless, weak, scared even. He had been interrogated by L before, they had played this game, where L had spoken to him so coldly and delicately, cutting inquisitions while his large black eyes stared right into him, searching. He had shown before that he could survive that unfazed, confident. He smiled his cold, twisted smile and and complied, sitting down upon the bed. He waited for L to move but he didn't, he simply observed him from across the room, staring with that intent gaze. It went on for over ten minutes, Light watched the clock out of the corner of his eye as he met L's gaze and became more and more uncomfortable. He reasoned that L must be doing this to unsettle him, it was a mind game, he didn't want to show anything that would betray himself. He was unsettled though.

"So," he said eventually, "so talk then."

"Why don't you start?" L said quietly, very slowly and carefully. Light frowned. He had no idea what L was trying to achieve here.

"You wanted to talk to me," Light said, "how can I start that?"

"Do you not want to talk to me Light?" L asked, still in that strange quiet voice, "is there nothing that you would like to talk to me about?" The irritation and confusion would have been greater upon Light's face if it weren't for the fact that the way that L spoke, the way that L was looking at him was seriously disturbing him. He felt an inetrnal shiver and looked away from L's eyes, settling his own upon the floor.

"I can talk to you anythime," he said trying to keep his tone normal, "I talk to you every day. Why did you feel the need to bring me to a secured room? Why did you lock the door and why was it necessary to remove all the cameras and listening devices?" As he was saying it he felt it strike a cord in him, a further coldness, a shiver, he felt more uneasy. There was a long pause again. He heard L move across the room and the bed sag as the other man's weight was added to it. L didn't sit in his usual position but a more comfortable one beside Light so they were on the same eye level and shoulder to shoulder.

"Light," L said and Light raised his head up to look into L's eyes, they were so close, and there was that strange look to them, that intensity he'd never seen before even when L had been interogating him. He gritted his teeth and supressed a shudder that was trembling at the tip of his spine. "Light, I wanted to talk to you in complete comfidence, I want there to be complete honesty between us and I know that is a concept which you will find hard to even grasp in these circumstances. You cannot be honest Light, you would not even consider the possibility that you can ever be honest with me. You must lie to me constantly, you have lied to me during the whole course of our friendship. You had to. You are Kira."

"I'm not Kira!" Light protested automatically and sharply, his indignent voice catching however as L grabbed him by the shoulders, taking hold of him forcefully.

"I don't want to play games any more Light," He hissed, "I know you're lying. I know it so don't say those lies to me. You know I know the truth so why should you bother with lies? I will just disregard them. You don't even have to put on a façade, there is no one else here to convince, there are no cameras or eyes, and I do not need convincing. I know you are Kira. I know that Light, I've always known that. I know it. I am the only person who does know this Light," The black of L's eyes were like deep tunnels, pulling Light in, "I am the only person who knows you entirely Light, knows all of you and can see all of you. Light…" He paused for a few moments while he gathered his words together. Light waited silently. When L spoke next he did so calmly and softly, "Light…I don't intend to do anything about it...ever…" There was anouther pause. "do you understand what I'm saying Light?" L said, "I'm saying…I won't bring you to Justice."

Light suddenly made a noise, something between a grunt of annoyance and a snarl reaching out as if to shove L away but L's grip on his shoulders was tight and Light couldn't unlock him.

"I can't believe you would even sink so low to say that," Light hissed, his voice was catching unnaturally, like a little cough inbetween words. "I never thought you'd use pathetic lies and try to gain trust. That's disgusting L, I thought you had more self-respect then that. If I were Kira I would have just lost a vast deal of respect for my advisary. As Light Yagami, a member of the intevestigation team and your friend," Light stressed the word in a sickly way in response to L's choice of term, "I have just lost an immense deal of respect for you. You make me sick." L moved his left hand down from Light's shoulder stretching out his fingers so that they lay at at the tip of Light's collarbone, just underneath his throat and at the top of his chest. Light moved uncomfortably at the feel of L's cold fingers that touched at the exposed skin inbetween the open collar of his clean white shirt.

"I'm sorry that it is so hard to convince you Light," L said quietly, that aching sadness, that unfathomable abyss was contorting the depths of his black, black eyes again as he stared into Light's fair brown ones, "Usually I take a great deal of time over my words, I try to communicate things to you completely, I do not like to make any errors but I find it very hard to speak to you in this manner. It is because I am being sincere though that I may have faultered, not because these are lies. It is true Light, I would never sink that low. Usually you can understand me entirely because even if I only say a little you can take my words and consider them, carry them forward in your mind and I know that you will think in the same way that I do and so come to the same conclusions. You therefore know everything, even things I have not even barely hinted at. It is a good method of communication for two people who cannot be honest with each other." Light was silent for a time, caught by L's eyes, caught by his words, the pure meaning flowing into his mind. It touched him, the concept grasping deep at his soul and making him hurt. Right now they sat looking into each other, the same thoughts, at least, the same feeling, consuming them. He had never felt as close to anouther human being as this, this seamed closer than was natural, to have this much pure lucidity between the minds. Light couldn't think of anything to say, he couldn't bear to bring up protests about his alternate identity, couldn't draw up the breath from his lungs to lie whilst looking in those eyes. So for a time he was silent but the silence was heavier than he could deal with.

"Then we have honesty do we not L?" He managed to whisper at last, "we have honesty, even if I were Kira we'd have it, like this, between us. Even if my words were lies as you can see through them and I know you can then there is honesty isn't there? Underneath our words?" L sighed softly, pain outlined in the breath that touched Light's face and neck.

"I don't want that barrier though, the distance. I want complete honesty with you and I know that can only happen if we both cast aside all fears. We need complete truth, we need complete and absolute trust." His thumb stroked at Light's throat and his eyes held his with a softness, there was that burning intensity still, that desperation and fire, but it was wound into this painful tenderness. "Have you ever considered how it would be Light if only we could trust each other, if you didn't have to hide and I didn't have to try and draw you out, If we knew that we would not hurt one anouther. If we could only have that trust then we could take things in a different direction, things could be so different. I've always wanted to have you by my side, to have you work with me, be my partner, I believe I told you I would want you to be my successor also? Have you ever thought on what we could be together. It seams such an intoxicating notion, we are both so well matched in intelligence and ability." Light breathed heavily, his eyes were wide and tinted slightly with a red glint, a glimmer of anger and confusion. He tried to move back, lean away from L just a little but he could not draw any further away than the length of L's arms that were reached outwards, taut as his hands gripped Light tightly.

"That is madness L," He said, his voice rough, it sounded deep and true, it tasted of madness, "Never, never could you promise that. Never. These ideas and promises, never!" He grit his teeth, lips parted, a hiss and a growl, "It's sick to say these things. Sick. If I were Kira this could never be! Never! You would never do that, submit to Kira, you don't believe in his actions, you don't believe in his goals. You are Kira's enemy in soul and position. And you are his enemy! You would never let Kira kill, you would never let him do what you consider to be wrong! You would never prostrate yourself before him in this way. It's disgusting to say these things! It's disgusting that you could say this to me, to lie, to let these words become. Kira would never submit to L either! Never! Lies and promises are nothing, Kira has a mission. L you have a mission. It is more than that it is your life! This is sick L! Sick! There can be no other way L," his voice was rising now, higher pitched, louder, he was practically screaming. He reached out and gripped L's shoulders just as L was gripping his, digging his fingers into L's protruding bones. "Kira and L are more than enemies by law or any other position. This is war, this is not a game! This is not a game L! This is everything! Everything that is Kira and everything that is L, opposing! It can never be dissolved! It can only end when one of them is dead! It can only end when one of them is dead!"

L had remained still while he watched Light, transfixed as the younger man screamed out, for the first time unreserved in front of L, his eyes wild and thin. When the last words were screamed into the cold silence of the locked room though he suddered and gasped, his own grip on Light tightened, his nailed digging right into Light's skin through the thin material of his shirt, the joints in his fingers clicking with the twisted action. Light's eyes widened too as his words echoed slightly off of the sterile white walls. The realisation of what he had just said crawled icily in his skin as he stared at L, at L's tensed body and wide, wide eyes. Light felt as if he was falling apart suddenly at having voiced that. What L had said was true, they didn't need to say things completely directly for their minds to find the deeper implications. Light, with his hands tightly gripping L's shoulders, holding him in a vice, had screamed into his heart that he was going to kill him. He knew that his words had carried that meaning. He knew that L had heard it. He knew that L knew. His lips trembled and he suddenly felt a terrible feeling clawing at his insides. This wasn't right, he knew it down to his fingernails that bit into L's skin and L's own that were doing the same. They sat in silence, their breathing loud and heavy, their positions a perfect mirror and their eyes locked. Light didn't want L to speak but he did, because he was alive, because his mind thundered and his heart was still beating, because a soul still stared out of those eyes straight into his own, clawing at him.

"It doesn't have to be that way," it was only a whisper. Light tried to shake his head but the movement was so slight it was more like a shiver.

"You would never sacrifice your principles for Kira, and he would never for you," Light whispered, the words hurt, they cut at the inside of his throat like slivers of glass.

"Neither you or I would have to sacrifice anything," whispered L, the soft words and their suggestion made Light ache.

"You and I both know that not doing anything is the same as sacrificing," Light replied, "please, L, your actions are humiliating, to suggest these ideas to anyone. I would not bear you to do this, even if I were Kira." L leant so close that his soft black hair brushed against Light's forehead, their eyes never left each other.

"You don't understand," L whispered. He paused, leant back and bit his lip in agonised concentration, a desperate expression upon his face. "Light, I never have and never will intend to admit defeat to Kira, to convert myself to his cause, to renounce all of my own ideals or beliefs. Is there not a way that things could be different though? If we could have an open ground between us, if we could find ways to compromise, live both our own roles but blend the barriers. Light can you honestly say that you find nothing common in both our minds, are our depths not of the same matter? Is there no simmilarity in our ideals, our beliefs? Could you say that you feel with absolute certainty that everthing you have done and continue to do, every part and method of it is completely right and true? Could you honestly say that you have no regrets? No doubts? No uncertainties?" He leant in again twisting his hands upwards slightly so that his fingers dug slighty into Light's neck, "Because I couldn't."

Light knew he couldn't speak, he could feel his heart thudding and the dryness of his tight lips. He knew he wouldn't be able to speak. L's words were too soft, too painful, they clawed at his skull, they clawed at his heart, they made it hard for him to breathe, and think, and keep from doing something terribly wrong. The silence slid down the cold sweat of his skin, running with the cold in his brain, the terrible fear within him.

"L could never exist together alongside with Kira," L whispered gently, thoughtfully, "not the L and Kira as they are now but if L and Kira would both change, reconsider things, change their methods and actions. Things could be different Light. Things could be different without betraying ourselves if only we could be certain that, whatever the case, we would not betray each other. If we could find that trust, if we could trust each other then we would both be free." L was holding him tightly still but it was no longer an unnatural grip. His left hand moved round to the front and he had hooked his thumb underneath Light's collar and Light could feel him stroking at his throat, pressing his digit at the warm throbbing of Light's elevated pulse.

"If I were Kira –" Light attempted after an immeasurably long pause in which the silence hung thick and heavy but L stopped him,

"No Light," he whispered, "no more 'ifs,'" he was stroking Light's neck now with his left hand, the fingers went up to the point of his jawline and then down to his collarbone. "Speak honestly to me, tell me the truth. Bear your soul, Light. Tell me what I know to be true, your secret you hide from everyone else. Tell me you're Kira. Admit that you're Kira." Light tried shaking his head but once again the motion was barely that of a shiver. He ached.

"You want to tell me," L whispered, a glint in his eyes, that desperation but something more, something deeper. His eyes were imploring Light to break the terrible silence, his fingers were trying to reach into him through physical touch, to reach the man within, to find him through that racing pulse and silent eyes. "I know you want to tell me. Always Light, always when I speak to you of Kira, when I ask you of what he might be thinking or trying to achieve, always you would say 'if I were kira.' It would be 'if I were kira' and then, then you would tell me. You would tell me the truth. You would confide in me, you would explain yourself so honestly. You've always wanted to tell me what it is you believe in, why you have taken on this role, this mission, how you are doing it. You want to discuss it with me because I would understand you but it has only been glimmers between you and I, disguised truths and hidden meanings. I could not talk though to you Light, I could never tell you anything or ask you anything that reached down deep, deep into both our hearts. There has always been that distance between us because of it, we could never trust each other Light, we could never confide. Tell me now Light, tell me. Confide now. Things can be so different between us. Tell me you're Kira, confess it to me now Light, tell me the truth now."

L's right hand had undone the top buttons of Light's shirt and he ran his fingers up and down the material while his left hand stroked at Light's neck. The motion was soft and repetitive while he wispered into Light's mind and his eyes stared deep into his. Light was completely silent apart from his breathing and the thudding of his blood in his veins. His own hands were pressed against L's chest. It was not clear from the position whether he was trying to push L away, restore the barriers, or keep him close, reciprocate the contact. His hands were completely still. He was completely still. Neautral. Unresponsive to both L's touch and words as he went on talking to light, begging and coaxing.

"Light," L whispered beseechingly, "just say it, just say those words, please, let this end, trust me." He undid the remaining buttons on Light's shirt and moved his left hand down underneath the thin material to rest over Light's pounding heart. He held on tight, his long fingers curving around Light's side, feeling the sensation of Light's heartbeat vibrating through his palm and up his own veins.

"It's crushing you to carry this burden, Light," he said, "it's crushing you right now isn't it?" He tightened his grip over Light's heart, "I can feel it." He brushed Light's hair away from his eyes, running his fingers down through the soft strands and then down Light's neck again. Light was trembling very slightly but his lips were tight, his body rigid and tense. He was like a hot soul within a closed, dead shell. His eyes were bright though, bright and shimmering. They looked wet but Light's skin was dry.

"It's your terrible secret isn't it Light," L continued gently, "you can't reveal it to anyone. You must lie to your family, your aquaintances, the entire world. Those lies are trapping you too Light, they've been tightening around you tighter and tighter the closer you got to me, Light. You given up far too much, you realise that? It was your dream, your calling, but it became your obsession. It would trap you in the end, Light, you would trap yourself in the end. You'd be too close to everything, in too deep to act. I understand that Light. I gave up too much too. I understand how it feels for you, unuable to speak, unable to act, trapped by circumstances. I understand that.

I swear to you though Light, I swear to you that I want things to change. I swear that I won't betray you. I know that there must be such fear, such terror inside you of breaking this silence, of speaking the truth to me. I know it." He reached his right had and gripped Light's hair tightly in his fingers and leant right forward so that his forehead was pressed against Lights, so that he was staring as closly into Light's eyes as was humanly possible. "I swear I will never, never betray you Light," he wispered, "please trust me."

He pulled back and then leant closer, turning and pressing his head into Light's neck. There was a very long silence and the time slid away, second by second. L could feel Light's heart still thudding against his sweaty palm, like a thrashing bird trapping within the young man's rib cage and now his own heart was beating at a matching pace, with a matching fear. Slowly and tenderly he put his lips to Light's ear and whispered in a voice that was barely more than a breath, impossibly quiet, laced with crippling fear and aching courage.

"My name is Lawliet."

So there we are. Another day, another chapter done. :)

The next chapter will be titled 'secrets on skin' and will finally explain the reference to that I make in my summary of this story, 'writing the last of his secrets upon L's skin.' I might have to put up the rating for the next chapter too, although probably not. It is unlikely I will write anything that explicit.

It might be a relatively short chapter but I can't say for sure.

It will however be a chapter of complete silence: No speaking or sound at all.

I hope the concept and attmosphere of that intregues you! XD