A Different Kind of Brotherly Love
By: Ramen
Disclaimer: If I owned TMNT, would I be writing fanfics about them gettin' jiggy (ahem, not really) with each other? If you answered yes, then you have serious issues, my friend. I have never seen a turtlecestilicious (maaan that could so be a word) fanfic by Peter Laird, Mirage, or Nickelodeon, and to be perfectly honest, I don't think I ever will. Oh, and I also don't own Twilight, pizza, or anything else that sounds familiar. Please don't sue me.
Warning: Side effects of reading this story are vomiting, nausea, hitting random objects in anger, and sobbing like a little girl- if you are homophobic or incest-phobic- heck, even if you're turtle-phobic!. If so, please turn back now, or else I will be held responsible for those side effects. And I don't want to be.
Author's Note: Nothing much to say here, really. Well, actually, that's kind of a lie- I have a few things to say before starting this story. Thank you so much to every single reader out there- I know it's very tedious to leave reviews, and I know I'm starting to sound like a desperate sap, but could you, um, leave me suggestions, comments… anything, really! I even accept constructive criticism!
Also, thank you to CelticViking for submitting an interesting idea- I'll see what I can do about that, because it sounds like a really awesome plot twist! I'll probably incorporate that later in the story, but not right away, you know what I'm saying?
While I'm at it, I should take the time to thank the other reviewers, too: Eridani23, HatexLovexo, dondena, and Poisoned Dark Angel- you guys rock!
Chapter Three: What Goes On Behind Closed Doors
The shit pretty much catapulted itself into the fan after that awkward little outburst. Mikey's mouth had a habit of landing him in all sorts of trouble, but… seriously, what the hell was he thinking, if he was even thinking at all?
"I-I can totally explain, Donny!" Mikey blurted out hastily, his baby blue eyes comically wide with shock.
"Explain then, Mikey!" Donny coaxed- apparently, this was as shocking to him as it was to Mikey, as expected. And as usual, when he was shocked by something, Donny yearned for an explanation like a dehydrated man yearned for water.
Did Mikey have a crush on him? Surely Donny was the most uninteresting one out of his brothers- he would have thought that Leo, or maybe even Raph would be a more suitable candidate for Mikey's unexpected affections. Speaking of Leo and Raph, weren't they just discussing those two earlier? Since when did their conversation turn into this? All these thoughts passed through Donny's brain like a slideshow, and it was starting to sound like the script of a bad nine in the evening soap opera.
Meanwhile, Mikey thought over this carefully; one wrong move and he'd be done for. He could blame it on teenage hormones- that always seemed to work in scenarios like these. The problem was… would Donny be convinced? As far as Mikey was concerned, his brother might think of him as a horny creeper who secretly fantasized about him in the middle of the night; that was sure to make things awkward at the dinner table.
To make matters worse, it seemed like Mikey couldn't get himself to talk- the words were on his mind, his lips just weren't cooperating. The silence was turning painfully uncomfortable, and Mikey knew that his hesitation was rousing Donny's already-raised suspicions.
Throwing caution to the wind, Mikey opened his mouth to speak.
"W-Well, Donny," he began shakily, mentally cringing at what he was about to say, "whenever a guy mutant turtle reaches that stage in his life, his crazy mutant turtle hormones tend to make him, y'know, fantasize things a-about… stuff. Stuff that he can't help but think about, because he's very, um, troubled, and well, I've started to notice that you're very… awesome (sexy as hell), and even though I've, like, known you for all my life as my brother, I can't help but…" And Mikey chose that moment to stop his idiotic ranting before he ended up freaking Donny out more than he already had.
Dear Lord, confessing like this was so unnerving- he missed the days when, instead of noticing how hot his older brother was, his main concerns were pizza, video games, comics, and, well… pizza (which is really not as different as it is right now- there was just an added bonus of typical hormonal awkwardness added to it).
While Mikey was absorbed in his own troubled thoughts, Donny was silent, processing all this information in his head. Innocent little Mikey was harboring sexual feelings for him? This was way too much to take in- he remembered bathing with him when they were kids, for crying out loud! Back then, things were significantly less complicated then they are right now, and at this very moment, Donny wished that he could somehow rewind his life to those earlier days.
But, of course, this was reality, and, unless Donny magically had the ability to pull a time machine out of his ass, there was no way of avoiding this stifling, awkward moment.
"Mikey, I… I don't know what to say, really," he blurted out pathetically- inside, he cursed himself to the depths of hell for sounding like Bella from Twilight. Now that was a thought that scared him.
Meanwhile, Mikey was feeling utterly crushed- and even that was an understatement. But really, what was he expecting? To have Donny completely accept the fact that his younger brother was lusting after him and, God forbid, actually return his feelings like it was that easy?
No- Mikey had to be strong, both for his sake and for Donny's. That way, this would all be said and done, and they could put this all behind them and agree never to talk about it ever again for the rest of their natural, reptilian lives.
"Donny, I… I-I want…" Mikey hesitated one more; no, he couldn't do this, he couldn't, this was too much and- "… chocolate-covered pickles, dude! Let's go make some right now!" Okay, so…. he really was a coward, as he established previously, but at least he wasn't an unimaginative coward. Come to think of it, chocolate-covered pickles did sound great right now…
"Mikey…" And at the precise moment, Donny whipped out his Bo staff and whacked Mikey in the head with it (Whack-a-Mole, Mutant Turtle Edition™).
"OW! Holy shi-!" Mikey's curse was cut off as he stumbled backwards, eventually losing his balance and tumbling shell-first on the cold concrete floor. The orange-masked turtle hissed in pain and attempted to sit up, but he could only wobble around on his shell like some helpless hatchling, much to his embarrassment.
"This is serious, Mikey!" Donny scolded, holding his hand out to help his younger brother get up from his degrading position. His hard gaze softened, however, when he saw how much pain Mikey was in. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have hit him that hard…
"Jeez Donny, I can't believe you! That thing is harder and thicker than it looks, you know!" Mikey whined, rubbing his head with an exaggerated groan. "Owwww, it hurts… Next time, warn me before you do that!" he huffed.
"Harder and thicker than it looks? Making fun of a guy's weapon really hurts his pride, you know!" Donny snorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I dare you to say something pickle-related now, Mikey!"
Mikey opened his mouth to deliver a scathing retort, but before he could, the door slid open with a loud bang, and Leo stepped in, his eyes wide and face stained dark green.
There was a pregnant pause; Mikey and Donny turned away from each other to look at Leo in astonishment, whilst the blue-masked turtle appeared to do a double-take.
"Wait- y-you guys weren't… Doing anything, were you?" Leo asked sheepishly, looking very much like the dog who had just taken a dump on a very expensive carpet.
It took all but five seconds for both of them to figure out the hidden meaning in Leo's question.
"We weren't doing anything-!"
"I swear, it wasn't like that-!"
The two blurted out simultaneously, now sporting dark green blushes of their own as they frantically tried to explain the situation.
After they did so, it was Leo's turn to be embarrassed. "…Oh." Was all he could say in reply, his blush even more prominent than before.
Another pregnant pause ensued.
Leo cleared his throat and straightened up, trying to look as stern and intimidating as possible, before turning to Mikey.
"Before we were interrupted earlier," he shot a withering look at Donny, who cringed sheepishly, then turned back to Mikey "what were you going to tell me?" His dark brown eyes gazed intensely into Mikey's baby blue ones. Might as well be blunt with it- Leo knew beating around the bush with his little brother wasn't a good idea.
Mikey broke out into a nervous sweat. Crap- he knew that that close call earlier was too good to be true! He glanced pleadingly at Donny, mentally begging his older brother to somehow save him again, but for once, the braniac was stumped.
"Oh screw it all," Mikey mumbled to himself. The charade was up- he might as well just confess now instead of running and getting cornered later. "Leo, you and Raph…" need to go and get laid… with each other, was what Mikey was going to say, but before he even got the words out, another voice interrupted him.
"Ah, my sons, there you are!" Master Splinter's raspy voice floated into the room, along with the consistent tap of his cane, as the old rat walked in, looking very pleased to find his sons 'spending quality time' with each other.
At that moment, Mikey almost ran up to the ancient ninjitsu master and bear-hugged him- maybe God didn't hate him after all!
Meanwhile, Leo looked as if he wanted to disembowel somebody, but he wouldn't dare do anything when Master Splinter was there. So instead, the blue-masked turtle opted to bow respectfully to him in greeting, while Mikey and Donny did the same.
Master Splinter paused for a moment, his eyes narrowed in thought, as if he was trying to remember why he was looking for his sons in the first place. After a few seconds, his face lit up, indicating that he now remembered the reason.
"Leonardo, I wish to speak with you in private. Please, come with me to my room," the old rat ordered, before turning around and walking back to where he came from.
As Leo reluctantly started to follow his father, Mikey took advantage of the opportunity to run away while he still had the chance.
"Well, I've got comics to read and RPG's to play, see ya later bro!" he said in farewell, dashing out of Donny's room like his ass was on fire.
"Wait, Mikey!" But Donny's call was too late- Mikey had already run into his own room.
With a defeated sigh, he plopped down into his computer chair, staring at the bright light emanating from the computer screen. The multi-colored 'Google' logo stared back at him. After a few moments of indecisive thinking, he gave a tiny noise of frustration and typed in "How to Deal with Incest"… [1]
"What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Master Splinter?" Leo asked, struggling to keep his voice polite and casual. He was still pissed off about Mikey getting away again- the next person who interrupted them was going to get a brick shoved up their ass, regardless of who it may be.
"I can see that there is frustration building inside you, my son." Master Splinter commented, looking amused when Leo's expression instantly turned guilty.
"I'm sorry, Master Splinter, but Mikey was…" in the midst of Leo's hasty apology, Master Splinter interrupted him curiously.
"Michelangelo? I thought your irritation was brought upon by Raphael," Master Splinter didn't mean it in an offensive way, and Leo knew that almost by instinct- his and Raph's fights weren't exactly rare, so to speak.
"Well, I think this is mostly about him, so I guess it was technically Raph who frustrated me…" Leo paused, and Master Splinter stayed quiet, silently nodding as a signal for him to continue.
"It all started when Mikey went up to me this morning and…" he began, explaining everything that had happened up to this point. Obviously, he left out the 'foreplay' bit, and also his perverted assumptions about what was going on behind Donny's closed door; he took advantage of the saying "Don't ask, don't tell" when it came to explaining his problems to Master Splinter.
At the end of his tale, there was a lengthy period of silence. Leo waited patiently as Master Splinter took a moment to process all the information that was given to him.
After a few moments, the old rat broke the lull and said, "So, Michelangelo is saying that there is some sort of… odd tension between you and Raphael?"
"I… guess so." Leo agreed uncertainly, sounding as if he was helping Master Splinter decipher some sort of nearly-impossible code. Wasn't the tension between him and Raph already obvious? Leo was convinced that they had argued with each other for all of their lives, even when they were still embryos.
One would think that, over time, the two brothers would mature and understand each other well enough to stop going at each other's throats every other day- but alas, it only became worse as the years went by. All four of them were growing up, gaining their own independent views of what was right, wrong, and reasonable; it just so happened that Leo and Raph argued about their opposing viewpoints more than they argued with Mikey and Donny.
The heart of the matter was, Leo thought that Raph was a stubborn ass who needed to learn a bit of humility and respect. In return, Raph though that Leo was an arrogant, bossy prick who didn't know when to shut the hell up, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.
"I see…" Master Splinter trailed off, snapping Leo out of his musings. "Leonardo… Are you… Have you ever experienced strange feelings for Raphael?"
Leo blinked, barely resisting the urge to cock his head to side and say "Huh?"
"Strange feelings? What do you mean, Master Splinter?" he questioned, eye ridges furrowed with curiosity.
Master Splinter put a clawed hand to his chin in thought; how could he say this in the most non-shocking way possible?
"Well, my son, you know about… incest, correct?" Master Splinter mentally cringed- so much for trying to make it 'non-shocking'.
Leo nodded again, looking quite contrived; what exactly was Master Splinter trying to get at?
"… Do you harbor sexual feelings for Raphael, Leonardo?"
"…" There was a heavy silence.
At first, Leo could scarcely believe what he had just heard. Suddenly, he understood everything now- Mikey's strange behavior and evasiveness- and mentally smacked himself for being so clueless.
"No Master Splinter, of course not," he answered, his voice steady, calm, and firm (achieved through many years of practice). On the inside, he was about ready to panic- when did all these strange things start happening between him and his brothers?
How did Donny and Mikey even conceive the idea of him and Raph being in that kind of relationship? Still, Leo felt a prickle of doubt sprouting in his mind- could he feel that way about Raph, if the circumstances were different? He mentally shook his head at the thought; what was he thinking?
He didn't really pay attention to anything regarding matters of love, relationships, and all of that amorous hoopla- he'd always been too busy with other things, such as learning how to be a good leader to his brothers, plus all the training and responsibilities that came along with that position. He was clueless about how love actually felt like, because to tell the truth, he really hadn't come into contact with it at all in his entire life, family love aside.
Leo was snapped out of his thoughts a second time, however, when Master Splinter spoke again.
"I am glad, Leonardo," he said, looking greatly relieved at Leo's steadfast answer. "Although I will support any decision you or your brothers make, I am glad you do not feel that way about Raphael."
And honestly, Leo couldn't blame him for thinking that way; but another, more rebellious part of his mind couldn't help but be disgusted by Master Splinter's slightly narrow-minded statement. Would it be so bad if he did think of Raphael like that? Then, he scolded himself- Master Splinter probably didn't mean to sound so judgmental, and he was only trying to look out for his sons, right?
"You may go now, Leonardo. Thank you for your time," Master Splinter dismissed him with a kind, fatherly smile.
Leo bowed respectfully to him in farewell, before getting up on his feet and silently walking out of the dimly-lit room. Both his mind and his heart grew heavy with apprehension.
What was going to happen now?
[1] Okay, I know that Donny wouldn't *really* Google "How to Deal With Incest"... it's just a little *thing* that I put in there that I think relates to some people, because I do that too whenever I'm faced with a little problem in my daily life- sounds stupid, I know, but it's an odd little quirk of mine, and I think many people share that quality, too. SO, have any of *you* guys ever done that before?
A/N: Whoa. *Looks up* Sadly, I think that's the longest thing I've ever written- not even my National History Day paper was that long… *Sweatdrop*
Anyways! Thanks for reading, my dear… um, readers! This chapter didn't turn out the way I planned- and yes, I know… "WTF, MASTER SPLINTER IS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A DOUCHEFACE!" Welllll, that was my reaction too, and I certainly didn't want him to come off as a douche face, but… I don't know, stories just have minds of their own!
I'm open to suggestions, people! And if you don't have any suggestions, then I still appreciate getting reviews- even if they're pointless, one-word reviews- anything will motivate me! So please… Feed the hungry fan fiction author… *Points down at the pretty review button*