Sorry- this has to get serious now, or I won´t be able to make my point.

Homeward Bound

Chapter 6

Damn- now he was really excited.

Jane paced the attic, eventually resting his head against the cool windowpane.

He hated masturbation, it made him feel vulnerable and inordinate, he´d rather control his body with his capable mind, but damn if he didn´t have the hard-on of the century right now.

He hit the wall with his fist. He hadn´t been aroused in years. Many years. Never since… he sighed, burying his face in his hands. He had to get a grip, dress, and get back down there to work.

But he couldn´t stop fantasizing about Lisbon- how she would take care of his current state if she could have her way with him. He dressed hurriedly, cursing his foolish, aroused body.

Afterwards he spent 10 minutes to re-establish a modicum of self-control and fight down his erection. 10 minutes. Either he was getting old or Lisbon was just too sexy to be true. He chuckled. Okay…possibly the latter.

He remembered how she had kissed him back, her mouth so soft and pliant, her tongue…no no no no no, stop now, or he´d have to start again.

Damn, this game was harder to play than he had thought. He´d always managed to be cold as ice before when he had needed to- now he felt unprotected against his own feelings. He wanted her- she was everything he wanted. Without her he´d cease to be.

He´d just managed to brace himself when Cho opened the door.

"Jane", he said with his usual utter calm, "new case."

Jane tried a shaky smile and followed him down to the parking-lot.

Lisbon was already seated in her black SUV, stubbornly refusing to look at him when he got in next to her.

Her cheeks were still flushed slightly, the white skin of her neck tempted him to touch it, kiss it. He knew now how she felt in his arms, and he wanted more. Much more.

He tried to be of use to her when they inspected the crime scene, relieved to find his mind working perfectly, the pieces of the puzzle realigning in his head, almost without a conscious effort.

They unearthed a suspect- fast. Harmless guy, no record for anything, but Jane knew it was him in minutes. It took them half an hour to pull up at the curb of the man´s house.

Lisbon got out, followed by her agents, and strode briskly to the front door.

Then bullets started to fly.

Lisbon went down immediately, Rigsby managed to reach her and pull her to safety. Blood had already pooled beneath her body. Jane ducked behind the car, all thoughts gone, his face blank in terror.

Cho raced to the door as soon as the firing ceased for a moment, gun poised before him. He kicked the door in and entered the building, securing his environment carefully. He had the culprit overpowered, handcuffed and arrested in minutes.

When everything was silent, Jane straightened. His eyes were glued to Lisbon, cradled against Rigsby´s side, horribly pale, while the younger agent tried to stop her bleeding. VanPelt called 911 with trembling hands.

Jane couldn´t get closer, his body was numb with shock and anguish.

The hidden memories resurfaced full force. She had been shot directly before he had killed Red John. He had been there- on the phone. He remembered the paralyzing fear that had spread through his body, his harsh panting breaths, her gasps of pain…she had been injured, and he had pursued his vendetta nonetheless. He hadn´t been there for her.

He took a tentative step towards her but couldn´t go on.

And then he heard Lisbon speak.

"Jane?" she whispered, her pained voice weak, but he heard every word, "Is he alright?"

And his heart shattered into a million pieces.

XXMentalistXX

Patrick Jane sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting area of an ugly hospital and felt like dying.

Cho and Rigsby were slouching on other chairs in the room. VanPelt paced the room. All of them were waiting.

Jane sighed. This was the wrong place, he wanted to be with Lisbon. But she was still in surgery, so it simply couldn´t be. Not knowing drove him insane- how bad was she injured? The bullet had hit her thigh, and she had lost a considerable amount of blood.

If she died, he would go away. Immediately. Without taking his things. He would live on the streets until death chose to take him. He would go insane.

He closed his eyes.

"Oh yeah," Rigsby sighed, "bullets to the thigh are a bitch. Nothing much to hurt but a big, pivotal artery. Especially in a tiny leg like Lisbon´s…it´s a killer, such an injury. Tzzing, and you´re gone. Really peachy."

"Rigsby", Cho said, noticing that Jane had just gone several shades paler, "Shut up."

Jane´s eyes stayed closed. A single tear ran over his face. His hand rubbed in tiny circles over his leg, as if he simply had to touch, but the right person wasn´t available.

Usually Cho was almost eerily calm. But Jane´s pain was palpable and so dominant in the room that he almost cringed.

Lisbon just couldn´t die. Without her, it would be game over for Jane.

A tired doctor strolled into the room from surgery, blood on his green attire, and Jane leapt to his feet in an instant.

"She´s…been lucky," the doctor said," help was there pretty fast. The artery was grazed, but not severed. She will be back on her feet in no time."

Jane almost hugged the surgeon, tears were blurring his vision. She would be alright- he hadn´t lost her!

Life presented him a new chance- a way home. He would start the journey today.

XXMentalistXX

He was allowed to watch beside her bed until she came out from anesthesia.

He looked at her with awe. She was so beautiful, his Lisbon. So,so beautiful…and so fragile. He touched her face, tracing her nose with his finger, her cheeks, her chin, and finally the pale lips. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted it so much.

"Ah Lisbon," he sighed, chuckling slightly, "what have you done to me? I´m a mess. Completely out of control."

In this moment, she started to stir.

Jane stared at her wide-eyed and straightened, almost afraid that her first words to him would be "I hate you", but she opened her eyes and looked straight at him.

"Hey," she said, her voice small and raspy, but she smiled, and it felt to him like the sun rising after a year full of rain.

He didn´t know what to say, his heart was locked in his throat, his eyes brimmed with tears.

"I wasn´t there after you´d been shot last time", he whispered, his voice full of regret.

Her smile deepened.

"But you´re here now."

Sorry this one wasn´t funny, but I had to get back to the serious part to make Jane acknowledge his feelings for Lisbon- and Lisbon see that she doesn´t hate him after all, of course. And I know: the poor girl gets shot at very often these days, but hey- that´s the job.

So now I can ponder how I´m gonna reach the smutty part of this story –cause it´s there, believe me :D…

Thanks for your reviews! Very much!