Author's note: Huge note this time! Sorry! Scroll down for ficcy goodness! I'd like to thank everyone who's read this story, sorry it's been a while! I've gotten a lot of very nice reviews for this though so thanks for that! :D
A couple of specific replies I'd likes to make: (Although I love ya all!)
Eiri and Kurama lover07: A particular thanks, I suppose, for that level of appreciation. However I must warn all you readers; This stuff is just stuff I made up, absolutely purely out of my sick little brain. It might not, in practice, even be pleasing, possible or safe. I'm not sure whether, for example, if you brought up someone's veins, right up, and then whipped them so that they actually burst that they actually might bleed to death. Light may be fine, but he is made of fiction.
So I kinda feel obligated to say; hey kids, seriously, don't try this at home. Or at least if you do, don't sue me. :)
MiaoShou: Don't worry, I've thought of that! Although Light was all arouse-ed the blood loss would have brought that erection right down. So in a way he did get a release but it was through the pain.
Luna Moonsurf: That's right! I aaaam directing this right at you *glares at you through the computer with serious menace!* Well not really but I'm glad to make anyone feel unnecessarily self-conscious! Your review made me smile mucho. :D
Also a couple of things to explain. This story almost operates outside of the whole investigation-murder systems of the Death Note plot. The important thing to know about this fic in terms of it's placing in the series timewise etc. is that in this world, for the sake of convenience, Misa does not exist. As readers from my other fic may be aware I really blame Misa as the weak link that brought into motion the inevitable capture of Kira. In this, lets say 'alternate shmexy fanfiction world' Misa got murdered by that stalker while Jealous wasn't looking and everyone lived happily ever after. As such the whole investigation with L isn't going anywhere and there is much stalemate time to play with. ;)
I've decided each chapter will be a visit, since most people seem okay with that. Enjoy!
A pure gasp resonated through the crowd as Light threw back his arm hurtling the tennis ball towards his opponent with a resounding thwack against the taut strings of his racket. At the other end of the court the young man let out a hiss, straining his muscles as he fought to and failed to make contact with the small green blur. A loud cry signalled the end of this match, the score proclaimed to the crowd who all cheered and screamed with delight at the spectacle before them. The loser hung his head down, catching his breath in sharp gasps, his blonde hair, damp with sweat, dangling down against his eyes. His opponent crossed the line to walk towards him, upright and smiling, he held out his hand to the other boy. The twenty-four year old prime competitor stared at the clean and handsome eighteen-year-old university student, at his perfect smile and then back down at his outstretched hand before he took it graciously.
Once such customs of good sportsmanship were observed Light Yagami turned away from his defeated opponent. There were no looks back as he cast the former glory-hopeful young man fell into his shadow, his mind was distant. He gripped his hand around the handle of his racket, tensing the tendons, his body hurt from the exertion; But not enough.
He was stopped briefly by a young woman accompanied by a couple of men carrying video-recording equipment. Did he have time for an interview? He smiled, his perfect glittering smile showing off his pearly white teeth. Of course he had time, but only a few moments, he had studying to do.
"Of course you are still a student aren't you! And at To-oh, that's what's so amazing about your success so far in this year's competition. So many young men your age would have trouble balancing the demands of such a prestigious college and this great tournament. How ever do you do it?" She is wearing far too much make-up, he thinks, her lips look too pink, her skin all plastered with foundation, but then again; that is television. He gives a little laugh, a slight imitation of shyness in the way he tilts his head.
"Well I just love tennis and I guess I'm driven in everything I do. I suppose it's all about discipline when it comes down to it, complete discipline." She smiles in the face of his faux bashfulness; at the way he shifts his shoulders and grins so sweetly, so beautifully. 'You're getting the scoop of the century, don't you know?' he thinks as he looks at her enchanted smile, 'you're interviewing Kira.' And what's more was he'd got far more screen time than L had.
"Well, I know you were the junior champion before," the young woman informs him, "but that was several years ago. What made you decide to take up tennis again and start competing at this level?"
"Well," Light pretends to consider for just a second, "I'd come of age and I missed the game so I thought I'd give it a go," he gives a little laugh, "turns out I did pretty well, huh?" Perfectly adorable.
She can't wait to agree with him, to shower him in praise and flattery while he smiles and smiles. She rounds it up by turning to the camera and summarising the situation, 'there you have it, just eighteen years old, the young man tipped to win this years championship – and so effortlessly too it seems! – Light Yagami.'
Then Light is able to take his leave and make his way to the showers. There he lets the water run down his back and rubs at the skin that still bears slight scars. He hangs his head and runs his nails across his arms. Over and over. It's been nearly a month now since he paid that last visit to L. He still can't suppress the instincts, the craving in his stomach, the ache in his mind. His brain roars and his body screams with all the symptoms of withdrawal.
Ryuk's headstands and contortionism is nothing compared to what Light has been feeling. He has lain awake at night feeling every nerve in his body awake with the hunger for extreme contact. He has started to bite his nails, digging his teeth into the sensitive skin. A week ago he had been showering like this and with his eyes staring up through the water in a black trance-like state he had noticed a little crack in the wall with a little tiny nail sticking out and he had started to pick at it. And he had picked and pulled until flecks of plastering swirled around about his feet and then there was that one sweet little nail, fully exposed, bent and sharp.
Then he had pushed his hand forward and in one swift movement ran the sharp metal point right up through his finger. Then he had stood there gasping as the blood trickled down into the plug hole, his eyes watering from the pain. He had closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the reassuring copper smell, in the stuttering through his body. Then he had masturbated.
In the clean facility showers now Light flinches, one hand clenching in his hair as he feels the sick shudder of shame. He looks down at his finger; it still had a horrific wound in it. They told him that he had almost lost it. He had had to do something when he felt it go so numb, the tip hanging limp and all colour draining from it. He had felt cold and frightened when he saw the blue tint to the skin. So he had to show his parents.
Sayu had fainted and his mother had almost done too. He had been driven to the hospital and he had to explain the accident where his hand slipped and fell upon that unfortunate exposed nail. He had had to have a tetanus shot.
He had taken up tennis to try and channel all those feelings L had awakened in him but even the vigorous exertion of the game wasn't enough because when he played he was in the middle of a bloody stretch of fucking clear cut green fucking grass with people screaming with fucking shining bright eyes and disgusting little wet lips and he might as well have been in a open vacuum.
He slammed his fists against the clean white wall of the shower cubicle and gave a hoarse little stutter in the back of his throat. It wasn't enough. It wasn't even damn close. It was nothing like it. Nothing like what L did to him.
He wanted restriction, he wanted swaddling, he wanted tight bonds and hard chains. He wanted the smell of metal and the silence before the hit. He wanted it so much he couldn't bear it.
He couldn't help it. He brought his hands up to run through his wet hair, to rinse it through once more. He sighed.
L's black eyes gazed up at the young man before him as Watari brought him before the detective, presenting him like he was something L had requested, along with the small plate of pink and yellow marzipan. The comparison made that starved, denied part inside of Light shiver with pleasure as he watched L take the sweets and bite delicately.
"It's been a while," he said quietly once he was finished. Light nodded silently. There was a short pause but L said nothing further. He rose and crossed the room silently and stopped just before Light. Curling his fingers in the boy's crisp white shirt collar he pulled, like he was leading a dog,
"come,' he said quietly and lead Light away.
Once in the darkness L's hands took possession of Light's body. After guiding him into their private chamber L placed one hand in the small of the boy's back and the other softly coiled around the back of his neck. At first just the tips of L's nails dug in but even so Light shivered, a brief spasm along his spine. L then gripped Light's neck fiercely in such a way that it made Light's knees buckle. He fell to the floor clumsily and L knelt down behind him.
With one hand L ran his fingers through the soft strands of Light's hair while with the other he pushed his fingers into the sensitive hollows in Light's back making the boy twitch and squirm instinctively.
"I have been very unhappy Light," L whispered, his breath on the back of Light's neck making the boy shudder more, "I felt that I had explained the nature of this situation clearly to you. I am very disappointed…" L's hand that had been stroking Light's hair now pushed his head down hard so that Light felt the pain of all the tendons in his neck strained. "Light, this is what you want, isn't it?" Light felt L's breath right against his cheek and for one moment he thought that L was going to lick him, he believed he could feel the other man's tongue just ready to roll over his skin but in the next moment L was drawing away again and Light was kneeling alone upon the floor. His skin was burning but the cold of the enclosed stone room was encroaching upon him.
"The mind and body are one, you realise that don't you Light?" L's voice found him but he couldn't pinpoint the location, he stayed perfectly still with his head bowed down. "That is even more true for a man such as yourself, one of high intelligence. I told you that your body craves what your mind starves itself of; your whole essence begs for freedom, for restraint for release. That you would deny yourself is but a symptom of the state of your mind; your compulsion to control and manipulate everything. The truth is evident and you cannot make any other assessment.
I will not have you betray me again. I will not have you betray yourself." There was a smooth silence and then L spoke again, his voice greatly softened,
"I was unhappy that you did not come to play with me Light," his tone was strangely melancholic, "you are my one and only little playmate." Light was aware of the other man kneeling down beside him once more. Light shifted his shoulders softly, moving out his arms as he felt L's fingers twisting at his collar, but L only undid the top two of Light's buttons and then withdrew his hand. Light sat still in the darkness, waiting, listening to the soft sound of L's breathing beside him. He could see nothing, L ensured that the darkness of this place was absolute, but he could imagine L's eyes open in the darkness. He was sitting and watching Light, although Light was aware that he would be seeing only darkness too. He knew that the man's other senses were as keen as his own; aware of the other's scent, the warmth of his body, his minute movements, the very trembling of his nerves, his pulse, his heartbeat. The silence continued.
"I wonder Light," L whispered at length, his breath faintly touched Light's face, highlighting his proximity, "what were you like as a child? You know a child's thoughts and senses are so intermingled, the lines blurred. In the earliest stages of development the psychological is at its most intense, most complex. It is a state that cannot be resurrected easily, even the memory is often beyond comprehension.
I should like to known your young mind, I should like to be able to reach inside you and draw out those feelings, those sensations that you knew with flesh and mind so intrinsically entangled, a hot flush at the back of your brain." L's fingers softly touched and coiled around the back of Light's head.
"I expect you might like to know me as well," he said quietly, then he removed his fingers and Light felt him move away, rising to his feet, the bare soles padding on the stone floor.
"You know when I was young there was nothing I adored more than those slightly gory tales, those eerie and strange folk lore stories. The plot is simple, with all those levels of suspense and chills of horror drawn out sublimely. I'm sure you know the kind I mean, they are common to every culture. In particular I am referring to the ones with the imminent monster that is strong and relative, the ones that hook into your soul and make your flesh tingle; the child-catchers." L paused for a few moments, Light could hear him moving ever so slightly but he was still close by. "I always found these stories strangely exciting, the ones with ropes and knives and mistakes that get you caught and taken away by someone who will hold you down, who will cut you up, who will peel off your skin, who will devour you. The thrill at the prospect of being a monster's meat," There was another pause, one that Light was acutely aware of, a shuddering around him.
"Exquisitely exiting," L continued softly, his voice a murmur, "a pleasurable thrill." Light heard the man move slowly back towards him again and then L reaching down to slide his fingers underneath his collar and resume undoing his buttons.
"One of my favourites," he murmured as he drew the boy's shirt down over his arms, "it's a human child-catcher, a man whom the parents warned their children of, but there was a pretty little boy that didn't listen and went out by himself to play," the shirt was removed and L pressed one hand to Light's chest to push him back to the floor and then came down to reach over him where he lay, back to the cold ground, and continue to strip him. His hands unbuckled and pulled out Light's belt and then moved on to his trousers, rendering apart the buttons, pulling down the zip. "And he was caught, all bundled up into a sack, his limbs all tangled, fresh meat intended for a meal." L stripped Light naked, swiftly and surely, and then knelt over him for a few moments his hand running over the boy's throat, his shoulders, his arms.
"The capture, that is the most important element, variation is wonderful but this part is the pivot, where the blood first pounds, the first thrill." L drew away from Light who lay, naked upon the cold ground, listening carefully to the slightest sounds around him. His back felt tight, his spine sensitive and tense. His body went hot with a flush of blood, his pulse racing as he heard the pleasant, familiar chink of cold hard metal chains being drawn forth to bind him.
"The 'transgression' or 'journey' element is somewhat inconsequential, whatever the child does or where he goes before the capture does not matter at all. Although in this case it is a good little boy who makes a terrible mistake." He was close again and leaning down with chains in his hands, "the capture is what's important. In other stories it's harsh ropes, it's coils, it's chains, it's a fist, it's teeth…" Light felt cold metal locking around his wrists, and then another tight cuff of metal being locked, with a click, around his throat, a thick collar with it's own thin chain. Then L's hands were trailing down Light's torso to settle over the young man's jutting hips. Light felt L's hands slide underneath his thighs and then metal restraints were being locked into place around these limbs also, the metal tight and Light's flesh red, flushed and sore puckering slightly around the sharp coil. Leather straps were tightened about his abdomen also, all brought unbearably tight, making every nerve bristle.
Light lay still, his breathing shallow, all his tendons tight, waiting while L paused in his careful work and then gave the quietest of gasps as he felt him tighten something else around the sensitive hot place amidst all the current fetters. He felt his face flush with an extreme heat, its redness cloaked by the darkness, as L harnessed his erection. Thick leather straps wrapped tightly about the hard organ and wound about his hips, hooked into and tightened against the straps already taut about Light's hips and abdomen. Light could feel his legs trembling slightly as L then added two tight metal rings brought slowly and surely right down to the base of his cock. The procedure was carried out exceedingly carefully, only the tips of L's fingers guiding the metal down, careful not to directly touch the flesh of Light's arousal. Light shuddered violently at the action though and could not help but feel gasp escape his lips and his laboured breathing stutter.
L paused once more, perhaps considering his work, then rose slowly, his bare feet padding on the stone floor as he walked round to stand by Light's head.
"Sometimes the child-catcher is some monster and it is teeth and claws that take the boy, that drag him back to his lair," with that Light felt L coil the chains that ran from him all about his wrist then reached down to take a fistful of his hair and proceed to drag him across the stone floor primarily by the thin strands rooted deep in Light's scalp.
"In this tale it's back to a simple home and the kitchen…" L slowly slackened his pace, he had never intended to drag Light far, and let his grip loosen. "Then with the boy in his own home, well that's when the fun begins…the preparation…the anticipation…"
L's fingers uncoiled and released Light, letting go of his hair to let Light's head rest upon the floor. Then there was only silence. Light lay, in his awkward position across the cold stone floor, amidst a sea of darkness, and waited. For a long time nothing happened, there was only the pure, absolute silence and Light had completely lost L's presence in the darkness, then, in a slow, slow, careful progression, the room began to lighten.
With his hair spead out in a tangle and his head at an angle Light tilted his head back and rolled his eyes to see, with a pure and shuddering shock through his body, the stirring array of restrains and devices that covered the wide section of room behind him. Three whole walls covered and containing such a mass of chains and knives and hooks. A table also adorned with knives and stained with blood, everywhere glittering with silverware; a cannibal's kitchen. From his position Light could just see a large picture placed in prominence, a diagram of the human body, all with beautiful annotations of dotted lines and careful direction of where to slice and carve.
A small groan, a minute cry escaped Light's lips, a trembling at this sight. He felt L's shadow come over him in response and the detective's reply, low and heavy,
"Hush little boy, no one can hear you here…" Light felt the feel of hands already covered in the tight latex plastic of gloves touch his neck and shoulders before sliding off of his skin to take hold of the chains. "Be a good boy now…"
Light felt himself being pulled up and then he was being chained up to the wall in much the same way he had upon his first visit, his back to the stones, the harsh chains brought tight and every nerve of him taught. L was before him, the other man's black eyes glittering in the kitchen's light. He smiled, his wide, twisted smile and ran his gloved hand over Light's face, the smooth latex against his hot skin.
"You're just right," he told Light softly, his hand running down Light's chest, "your flesh is tender." His hand went down to run over the boy's bare thighs, "I'm going to cut you just here," he murmured pressing his hand up against Light's inner thigh, "going to chop them off…then," L moved his hand to tightly encircle Light's bound arm, "I'm going to chop off your arms, this warm, plump flesh…" L leant in close to whisper, "then I'm going to devour you... Piece by piece…"
I've cut this chapter a little short, I know, a visit really should run it's whole course but well…this chapter's pretty long and that's really the climax.
I know what you're all thinking; 'oh noes! Where's the 'I'm your bitch' line!' Never mind. Plenty still to come.
This chapter took me a ridiculous amount of time to write and I'm still quite uncertain about how it came out. First of all this chapter is more of a 'themed' visit and I have a couple of other visits planned with lose themes as well. However this is the most visual and so I've worried about whether it actually fits. In any case this story is growing far too long when originally I'd only intended it as a one-shot.
The whole cannibalism in children stories thing didn't seem to write like I wanted, it actually sounds more like L is recounting some terrible traumatic memory or past case and it definitely sounds more like rape is the underlying theme rather than cannibalism. That was definitely not my intention. Some of you might have been sitting there thinking, 'I don't recall any of these borderline paedophilic abduction-rape children stories from when I was a child' and that's not good.
The thing is I actually had a children's story in mind when I wrote this, one that I liked, but I can't remember the villain's name from it although it was Mr. Mcsomething. In that story the little boy gets caught by the villain and taken back to his house in a sack. He then is let out and hides under the bed while the pot is boiled to cook him up.
He was then asked by the villain not to mess around and just be a good boy and stick out his legs so that the villain could chop them off and put them in the pot. The boy however broke off and stuck out the wooden legs from the bed, or a chair or something, and it was these that were chopped off and then put in the pot. The villain then left the room confident that the boy could not run away and then the boy crawled out from under the bed and escaped. Hurrah! (Pretty stupid guy not to notice the difference between a wooden leg and a child's, especially a seasoned child-catching cannibal but oh well!)
It's lack of relevance to Death Note and my fudging of the details is absolutely incredible.