Ezra floated slowly through the island, filming everything he could find. The whole place was actually looking pretty creepy at dusk. "Time for a little exposition. Narrate, you two!"
"Okay," narrated Phineas, "we're walking, and there are some trees..."
"I found a stick," said Gus.
"...Gus found a stick..."
Ezra quickly turned the camera off. "Hold on a second! We're not gonna use our real names, here! Brer Rabbit is Ezra, Gus is Phineas, Phineas is Brer Rabbit and I'm Gurgi."
"How come there's no Gus?" complained Gus.
"Dis stick can be Gus!" suggested Brer Rabbit.
"Cool."
"What're we makin' dis movie about, anyway?" asked Brer Rabbit.
Ezra grinned. "Glad you asked that! Well, we go into the woods, looking for a witch, we scream, we drop the camera, hide out for a month or two, and people will interpret it as fact."
"Dat's crazy!"
"IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE!" chorused the ghosts.
Assuming they knew what they were talking about, Brer Rabbit decided to go along with it. "Well, let's get started! Now, I thinks de best place to start is by de edge, near de river. Dat way, it looks like you'se been abandoned."
"Or shipwrecked!" suggested Phineas.
"Marooned!" cried Gus.
"We could do all three," said Ezra. "And the rest of the crew's gone insane, and they're hiding around the island, ready to kill and eat us! In addition to the witch."
In the shrubbery nearby, sat the four villains, who had stolen their own raft.
"Oh, dat's so true!" Brer Fox chuckled to himself. "Ain't dat true, Brer Bear? Can't you jes' feel de iron-ee?"
"Yeah, uh..." mumbled the bear, before being cut off by his partner.
"Shut up! You want dem to hear us?"
"This is the stupidest movie idea I've ever heard," muttered one of the Boothill Boys.
Chula crawled over. "I don't know, sounds interesting. The kinda thing I could just cuddle up on a web and watch."
"What the heck are YOU doing here?" snapped the other Boothill Boy.
"Well, they left me out. Really hurt my feelings. So I figure I'll hang out with you guys, catch them, and TEACH THEM A LESSON! And I brought marshmallows, too."
Seconds later, Chula found himself being tossed deeper into the woods. "EEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Brer Rabbit and the ghosts, meanwhile, had heard the entire conversation. "They should really keep their voices down, you know," whispered Ezra.
"All four o' dem?" gasped Brer Rabbit. "I has trouble handlin' two at a time! But four is twice as bad!"
"Oh, relax," said Phineas. "If we get in too deep, we can always fly away."
"I guess dat's true, Phinny."
"No, I'm supposed to be Brer Rabbit, remember?"
"Oh yeah..."
Suddenly, out from the bushed popped Brer Fox, who swiftly grabbed the startled rabbit. "Gotcha, Brer Rabbit! Dis time, you'se mine!"
Brer Rabbit regained himself and calmly shook his head. "Sorry, but I ain't Brer Rabbit."
"You ain't?" said Brer Bear, lumbering over.
Ezra shook his head. "Nope, he's not."
"I'se Ezra de ghost."
"I'm Phineas," said Gus.
"I'm Gurgi," said Ezra.
"I'm Brer Rabbit," Phineas was proudest of all.
Brer Bear immediately sprang on the ghost. "I got him, Brer Fox!"
Brer Fox took a good, long, look at Phineas. "Dat ain't Brer Rabbit, dere ain't no meat on him!"
Gus waved his counterpart at the villains. "Want Gus? It's a stick."
Phineas went transparent and slipped through Brer Bear's hands. "Now, I'm sure that you can both sort this whole thing out, but we're rather busy tonight."
Suddenly, the Boothill Boys fluttered out, straws in hand. "Get them!" shouted the first one.
"Let's suck!" shouted the second.
The first vulture screeched to a halt and groaned. "Okay, you ruined it for the second time."
Catching Phineas off-guard, the birds stuck the straw through the ghost's chest and prepared to suck him up. Before they could, Brer Bear smashed them over the head with his club. "Hey, we said WE was gonna eat Brer Rabbit!"
"Yeah," said Brer Fox, "stick wid de deal!"
Leaving the villains to argue, Brer Rabbit and the ghosts ran for it. Ezra tossed the stick as they escaped. "You can keep Gus, if you want!"
Gus angrily backtracked to reclaim his stick. "We're not leaving him behind!"
As Gus grabbed the stick, he felt odd for a second. He looked up to realize that the Boothill Boys had stuck a straw in his head! "LAY OFF!" With a swing of his chain, the Boothills were on the ground, unconcious.
As the four heros made their way into the woods, Brer Rabbit nervously looked back at the bickering villains. "Ain't you worried dey're gonna suck you wid deir straws?"
Ezra laughed. "Ah, they' couldn't suck a (NOTE: Ezra's analogy has been deleted, deemed too vulgar for the Internet)"
"He's got a point," muttered Gus.
"Eww," said a disgusted Phineas.
"See?" grinned Ezra. "We're fine. Think of this as an adventure."
"Well," admitted Brer Rabbit, "I do loves adventures."
"That's the spirit!"
(To the tune of "The Girl I Left Behind" from Fievel Goes West)
Ezra: If there's one thing I love most
It'd have to be adventure
Flying round up in the sky
Or deep below in trenchers
Now we are all on the run
And I feel like Tom Sawyer
And if this thing gets us sued
I'll double as our lawyer
But still, we gotta film
Let's keep running, come on!
What this night is gonna prove
Is that our brains will beat brawn
Through the woods, deeper we tramp
Right into the dark plain
I can only hope we don't
Really piss off Mark Twain,
Mark Twain, Mark Twain!
Chula waited down the path, making a fake sign. "I'll show 'em all not to let Chula come along! With this fake detour sign, they'll all get lost in the woods and CHULA WILL WIN!"
The spider ducked into the bushes and watched the ghosts and rabbit dash through the fake detour, followed by the villains. Apparently, Chula had found a real detour.
"Aw, for the love of..."
Phineas: I don't know my way around
I really hope you guys do
If this thing really gets made
I won't believe my eyes, too
Gus: I'm just in it for the thrill
And conking stupid critters
If we stop at Polly's Dock
I'm gonna get some fritters
Brer Rabbit: Well, I won't forgive you
If I don't live through
De adventure we have tonight
Ezra: Better find a place to film
Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: And finish up this thingy
Ezra: The girls will flock to us, then
Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: Just hope they're not too clingy, clingy, clingy
Chula, meanwhile, was working on another trap. He had constructed a huge web (with the words "What a pig" embodied in it, for some reason), and was waiting for his prey to fall into it.
"Why, I do believe I've outdone myself."
His victims were approaching! They were running fast! They...ran right by the web.
"Oh, you little (NOTE: Chula's insult has been deleted, deemed too stupid for the Internet)"
Ezra: So, are you ready for some fun?
Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: Why, naturally, you know us
And when we're done, we're gonna cheer
And we'll be cheering "GO US!"
Adventure time
Adventure time
Adventure time
Adventure time!
All: We're gonna have an adventure
Tonight, tonight, tonight, that's right
All right!
"Now what?" Brer Rabbit asked after a moment.
"Huh?" Ezra thought for a second. "Oh yeah, we got so caught up in a song about filming, we forgot we actually had to start! Happens a lot. Well, now...I think we should find a creepy place to film and get started."
The ghosts and rabbit headed off through the woods to find whatever they could. Little did they realize that the Boothill Boys were glaring down at them at that very moment from up in a tree. The vultures had ditched Brer Fox and Brer Bear, after realizing that the two critters were doing nothing but slowing them down.
"So what do we do now?" asked the first one. "It's not like we can corner them, because they'll just fly away like last time."
"But what if they couldn't?" the other one had an idea.
"What do you mean?"
"Follow me. We're going back to the mansion...and this time, it's not for food."