Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or Ghost of You By My Chemical Romance. I own Lily, and an over-sized England soccer shirt~
Kaoru's POV
She's dead. Gone. Out.
And it's all my fault.
She died, and it was all because of me.
If I had bothered to get to know her better, and figure out why she acted the way she did, to figure out how she worked.
She wouldn't be dead.
I never
Said I'd lie in wait forever
If I died
We'd be together
None of us knew about her insanity. She never told us. All she said was that her past wasn't a good one. None of us bothered to dig deeper about that. We all just left it that she didn't want to talk about it. There, was a fatal mistake.
I can't always just forget her
But she could try
So deep in thought, I didn't feel the couch shift as another person sat beside me. I tilted my head, just to see it was Hikaru.
"Hey!" He yelled, grinning ear to ear. I nodded in acknowledgment.
He obviously didn't pick up on my down mood, as he continued in a joyful matter.
"So did you hear about that girl in homeroom committing suicide?" He asked.
I snapped my head up, nodding with a grim look on my face. Hikaru, again, failed to pick up on my mood, and continued on.
"Oh, what was her name? Um...Lauren? No, that's not it. Uh, Louise? No. Oh! Maybe it wa-" I cut him off.
"Lily."
He grinned even wider. "Yeah! That's it! Anyway, she slit her wrists yesterday. They found her in the bathroom, dead. I wonder why she did that. I mean, she was a freak and all, but still."
I whipped around fast, glaring my twin straight in the eye.
"Don't you ever call her that again, agreed?" I growled out, fisting the color of his uniform in my hand.
He looked terribly frightened for a second and nodded furiously before I let him go, stalking away.
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
I didn't want to stay at school, so I walked around town for a few hours, trying to calm my thoughts to a relatively normal pace. Finally, I arrived at a park on the far side of town. I sighed, remembering all the childhood memories here. My thoughts shifted back over to Lily.
Why did you never tell me about your mental issues, Lily? I would have helped you through them. I would have paid for them!
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever
I sighed, putting my head in my hands. How could you do this? What made you think I didn't care? You obviously saw the love in my eyes! I mean, I tried to make it clear that I loved you. But, then again, you did say you didn't see things the same way everyone else did. Maybe you mistook it for something else? Hate? Distaste? Fear?
Ever get the feeling that you're never all alone?
And I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies
If only we could have seen what was wrong with you, before it escalated too far. You wanted to be a doctor. One who could help everyone with everything. Not let anyone die. Unless you count yourself.
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
Oh, Lily, if only everyone saw you the way I saw you. Not at the insanity, but how caring and loving you were. You could've had the right person to give it to, who would return it with equal passion. But, alas, things not always work out.
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
You made wounds on me, Lily, that'll never heal, you took yourself away from me, to help me, when it really just damaged me further. Creating scars that'll last forever.
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I probably deserved this, you know. All my life, I've treated people like they waited on me, treating them no more as if they were a mere piece of tissue, to use and throw out. And now, karma caught up to me.
Karma's a bitch, isn't it?
Finally, something lovely came into my life, and right when I almost had you. You got ripped away.
If I fall
If I fall
(Down)
I fell for you, Lily. Fell far too hard, too fast than I ever had. You made me weak in the knees, you made my thoughts swirl, you made my heart beat faster.
All I did for you, was give you the need to kill yourself.
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
Lily, I'm sorry for all I put you through. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry you couldn't trust me to confide in.
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
But most of all, I'm sorry I couldn't catch you, when you fell.
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna
Goodbye, Lily. Hope your next life, was better than this one.