Chapter 17

The kiss was welcoming rather than the last time i saw him. I missed him so much that it killed me each time i was away from him for more the an hour. When we pulled back it gave me a chance to see he wasn't his self, he was tired from the bags that formed under his blue eyes and his smile was tired looking like he hadn't slept in so long.

Maybe its time i let go of both and give them room to find someone that doesnt feel something for their best friend and tries to hide all the time.

"What happened to you?" i said.

"Missing you brought me down."

"Oh John."

"Randy told me your decision about Smack'down." He whispered slowly making me cry a little.

I didn't know whether to run off and call Randy to tell him a piece of my mind or stay and talk about this with John. i leaned into John again hugging him slowly as i remember the way he kissed before i left boston our last kiss really did feel like it was the last one we's ever have together.

"I love you so much that i don't want to be apart from you."

"I don't want to be apart for you either, but it's not easy for me to see that you love Randy more." he said.

"I know, i saw it when you kissed me."

"I thought you were going to be with him."

"Randy don't seem the type to want what me and you want."

"What do we want?"

"A family, house, etc."

He laughed at me as i pulled him on the couch making him sit. I sat down beside him trying to not laugh and be strong maybe When we sat down, John put his legs on the table and leaned back on the couch closing his eyes like he hadn't slept in a while. I was going to get up to give him time to sleep and to make something to eat, but his warm hand came around my wrist making me stop moving off the couch.

"Let's talk about this Smack'down business."

"Its a great chance for me to have a fresh start and you."

"And Randy."

"Yes. Randy too."

"Look, i love you i don't want you to go."

"I don't either but i have no choice really."

"Talk to Vince."

I know me lieing wouldnt help him much, but apart of me couldn't take the chance of telling him the truth that i was the one who requested the transfer to Smack'down. They are short on Divas over there, but Raw needed me more.

"I did and he also thinks is a great chance for me to have a fresh start and take the divas ratings to a new level."

"I'll go to."

"No. Stay on Raw. I want you to find someone else who can love u whole and not half."

"I don't want anyone else."

"I don't either but this might be a good thing for the both of us."

He just looked at me for what seemed like forever trying to detect something that said i was lying to him about this and how i felt. I tried my best not to let him see that i was lying.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I want you to have someone that only loves you and not another man."

He moved off the to sit in the black leather recliner i had that was nice and soft. I grabbed a tissue from the box that sat on the coffee table that John had his feet on earlier.

When i looked at him, i could see the same look on his face he had when he found out about me and Randy. It also made me remember that time in the hallway when we were joking around.

My heart felt like it was going to explode and there wasn't anything i could do about it right now to make it go away. His blue eyes looked sad as i moved off the couch over to his lap to sit. He welcomed me with open arms as i slide into them.

I kissed him lightly making him look at me. My hand started hurting from the pressure it had on it form the chair arm.

"Don't go please."

"John i have to, but you can still see me when we have events or appearance and we can talk."

He didn't say anything as he moved me gentle to the couch and went into the bedroom. I could already tell he was mad at me by the way he wasn't looking at me or talking to me anymore. Stubborness was in John like a tattoo.

I walked into the kitchen throwing my tissue in the garage and walking over to my double door fridge. I opened the cold door and looked inside for something to fix for dinner. Maybe some steak, green beans, and finally mashed potatoes.

I cooked everyhing perfect and set the table. I picked up a plate and put mac n chesse, green beans, mashed potatoe, and steak. I set the plate back down and grabbed my plate as i put all the food i cooked on it, i leaned forward to see the door was still shut.

He was taking this worser then i expected him to. I thought Randy would behave this way, but i could really see the love in John's eyes before he walked away from. He doesn't understand this is a good thing for everyone, maybe in time he will.

I sat down after making my plate on the right side as i began eating i took glances and the hall to see if he was coming, but he never did. After cleanning up the dishes i popped te plate in the micowave and started to heat it up.

I picked up a tray and started putting the cup, silverware, and finally the plate on the tray. I moved slowly out to the hall as i saw him open the door he was still not looking at me as i gave him the tray.

I turned away now to go, but his voice turned back to him.

"Thanks." he said in a whisper.

"Welcome." i said. I kept walking into the living room and went over to my computer booking my flight for tomorrow to get there early and go to the gym. We have the Royal Rumble coming up next week.

After booking my flight for 3:30 tomorrow, i leaned back in my chair sighing in a deep breath before closing my eyes. This wasn't what i want for any of them. Eveything seemed to be getting more and more complicated as the days go by. Teddy Long offered the same as Raw except less drama.

I turned off the computer and walked into the bathroom taking a long hot shower letting my muscles relax. After twenty minutes in the bathroom i came putting my dirty clothes in the washer and going to the spare bedroom.

This was going to be along night and along day tomorrow. I closed my eyes and before i knew it i was asleep. The door opened quietly trying not wake me up and i already knew when i heard the door open it was John caving in.

He slide in next to me hugging me up for one final time. I turned over to him still sleepy, but i wanted to see him. He leaned down to me so i could feel his hot breaht on my lips, his breath smelled like colgate toothpaste.

He kissed me passionately as i kissed him equally back. After we pulled back i turned back over and fell asleep as he pulled me closer and hugged me up before he fell asleep.

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