Edward's POV:
What the fuck?
One minute I was at the pinnacle of my life with Bella Swan on my arm. Every aspect of my life had improved drastically because of her. My grades were pretty good, thanks to Bella helping me study for tests that I would have otherwise failed, had it not been for her. My family became so much more happy as well and we all finally felt complete. Esme and Carlisle would practically beam at us whenever they saw us touch each other. Esme was completely elated to see that I had finally found someone, and I was no longer a loner. My sister had found a best friend in Bella; though they were completely different, they still mixed and depended on each other. Like yin and yang. Emmett saw Bella as a little sister, one that wouldn't take his crap. They even wrestled sometimes, which usually resulted in Bella winning since Emmett would never really hit her. His girlfriend, Rose, and Bella were the last to connect, but when they did they found out that they had way more in common than expected. Their similarities circled around their fiery personality and stubbornness. Her brother, Jasper, and Bella were always engrossed in deep intellectual conversations; ones that never failed to bored the crap out of me, but Bella seemed to really enjoy them.
We were all better off with Bella in our lives, but now it's all fucked up.
I had been moping around for the last couple of weeks, since Bella broke up with me. I couldn't help it. I tried text messaging and calling her. I even tried going over her house a few times. But each time I was met with the same harsh glare from Charlie, and was told that Bella wasn't there or didn't want to speak to me. I hadn't heard from Jacob yet, but I was going to take that as a blessing in disguise. I still remembered his threat when we first met, and had a feeling that he intended to own up to it the next time he saw me.
Of course, I still saw Bella in school, but she refused to talk to me, or even acknowledge my precise, except once, a couple days ago:
Flashback (A couple days ago)
I walked into the school with everyone breathing down my neck about why I decided to looked like crap, even though deep down they already knew the answer. I had told them that Bella broke up with me after about a week of it happening because of their insane pestering.
"Yo, Ed man. You really need to get out this slump that your in. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, okay?" I heard Jasper's calming voice say.
"Thanks Jazz, but no thanks." I croaked out politely.
I slouched through my classes, not really caring about the questioning glances and surprised stares my classmates had been giving me for the last two weeks, pertaining to my outrageously drab outfit consisting of grey sweats and a dark, gloomy air I probably carried around myself.
Finally, the bell rang, which meant it was time for Biology. I practically ran out of the room and towards my next classroom, making me the first student in the class. A few students from the other period still lingered until it was just Mr. Banner and me left.
Now, it was time to play the waiting game. It would only be a few minutes before Bella would walk through that door, and sit next to me, giving me the perfect opportunity to plead my case to her once more and pray that she'd take me back. I would always try to talk to her but after she wouldn't respond to any of my pleas I'd get discouraged and quit. Not this time. She was going to hear me out.
Mr. Banner left the classroom grumbling to himself about not having enough bathroom breaks throughout the day, and told me I should get started on the assignment since I was a few minutes early.
No thanks.
Fate decided to serve in my favor today because not two minutes after I sat down, Bella walked into the classroom. She, unlike myself, was able to look perfectly fine. In fact, she looked even better than usual today. She wore a long, floor-length, brown skirt that hugged her hips and flared out as it went down. Her plain white v-neck shirt gathered at the bottom and was tied into a secure little knot at the side, ending right above where her skirt started, showing a slither of pale skin. Her hair was tied into a tight bun that showed off her beautiful face, which was makeup-free except for the subtle red lipstick. The only fault in her alluring physical armor were her eyes. They were slightly red and puffy, like they had been everyday since we broke up.
"Bella..." I started, right as she sat down beside me.
I watched as she took a deep breath and turned in my direction to face me. She cocked an eyebrow, signaling for me to continue. That was new.
My mind went completely blank when I locked eyes with her. She tried putting up a front of indifference and coldness, and if I hadn't known her so well I would have believed it easily. But because of the fact that I studied her countenance whenever possible, I could not be fooled as simply and knew better. Behind the masked defenses, I saw her adopt this calm detachment, a sign of resignation. She was done crying about it. To know that I caused her to cry in the first place, hurt like hell. Had it not been for the slight grief and hesitation that still lingered there, refusing to leave, I would have abandoned the crazy - yet completely realistic - notion that we could somehow forget all this ever happened and get back together.
"I'm so sorry, baby." I gripped her hands tightly in mine, not allowing any space to come between them. I tried with all my might not to grimace when I felt hers flinch within mine. "I know what you saw. And I know how it looked, truly I do. But I swear to you, I did not cheat on you. I promise, I would never, ever do that to you. Not just because I would never want to hurt you, but also because it would fucking kill me as well. When you hurt, I hurt. It's as simple as that."
Her face told me that she seemed to be deep in thought about something. As if she were doing a complicated math equation, one that she just wasn't understanding but tried like hell to solve.
"Bella, I haven't slept well since you broke up with me." The sympathetic look that she got in her eyes when she saw the dark purple bags that had formed under mine told me that she believed me. "I don't know what else to say, I've tried so hard to get you to believe me, it seems like you just stopped trying." My head lowered and with all my efforts, I tried not to look like a total bitch and cry in front of the woman I loved, but my efforts were futile when a tear rolled down my cheek and fell on top of her hand.
"I can't have you hate me. Please. Please, say you believe me, baby." I knew I sounded like the saddest piece of shit imaginable, but I didn't care at the moment.
She pulled one of her hands away from mine and wiped away the tear that had fallen on her hand with her index finger, and onto her skirt. Then, she took my chin in her hands and tilted it up so she could look at me. Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized my face for a while, until she dusted away the tear on my cheek as well.
I looked at her and her defense seemed to waver slightly.
"I believe you." She whispered.
My eyes got as big as saucers in that instant, and I couldn't contain the goofy grin that spread across my face. "You do?" I nearly shouted.
"Yes, I do." She looked so scared when she answered me. I wondered why that was, but my excitement engulfed then completely swallowed my mere curiosity.
I pulled her into my arms and hugged her to me as tight as I could, but what she said next nearly robbed the breath out of me. "But I still can't be with you..." She said softly but with force.
My body froze right when I heard the world "can't". I pulled back and looked at her face. "I thought you said you believed me." I didn't care to hide the hurt and disappointment that rang clear as day in my voice.
"I do. But that doesn't mean I can be with you. I'm sorry." She pushed my arms off of her and turned to the front of the class.
I'm pretty sure I looked like I was about to wet my pants at any moment, but I really couldn't believe what just happened. "I don't u-understand." My voice wavering, and cracking. "Why?"
"I just can't. That's all there is to it." She said, without looking at me. Her voice was hard. Her guard was back up.
Full-blown anger surged throughout my whole entire body. I just told her that I didn't cheat on her and she says she believes me, but she won't be with me? I can't take that. I'd rather she just believe I had cheated on her, if she was going to pull this crap on me. I literally felt like she had just set off a ticking time bomb somewhere inside me.
Confusion. Anger. And Coveting. Not a good combination.
My hands balled up into tight fists. I tried to steady my irrational breathing, but it was no use. I was livid. "You don't give a damn about me, do you? I know you don't! If you did, you wouldn't do this kind of shit to me! You wouldn't fucking kill me like your doing, Bella. I've never in my entire life, put myself on the line as much as I have with you. And... it's like you just slapped me in the face. I know you have some kind of guard up, but thanks to you, so do I!" I yelled at her.
She bit her lip, trying not to cry in front of me, but otherwise ignored me completely.
"I... I fucking love you, but you don't care do you." I whispered. I realized this was the first time I'd ever told her that I loved her and I wished it was on better terms, but oh well. It's not like I can take it back now.
Her eyes widened and her head snapped in my direction. "You what?"
I gave her a small sarcastic smile. "Did you not hear me? I said, 'I fucking love you.' I mean it. I do. I don't think I was ever given a choice about loving you." I stood up and paced around the room, while tugging on my hair.
"I... I d-don't know what to s-say." She admitted.
I took my books and threw them at the board at the front of the room, the loud noise caused her to jump up from her seat in surprise. I noticed my already beat-up books were now completely destroy. The front cover fell off most of them, as well as the back on some.
I was so tired of putting myself out there, and looking like an idiot in return. I understood that she was scared, but so was I! That doesn't mean you fucking run from it. Like she's doing.
"Of course not, Bella! Your too busy being scared shitless to say what you really want to say! What your just itching to say!" I took a nearby table and flipped it over, one of the legs breaking off in the process. Then, I took the bar stool that was situated next to the now broken table, and threw it across the room, hearing the sailing noise as it flew through the air only to hit the TV in the middle of the room, causing it to crack and break the TV.
"Edward, you need to calm down." She tried to say in a authoritative voice, though it sounded more fearful to me. She took a couple tentative steps towards me, her hands outstretched, ready to touch and comfort me, but I recoiled from it.
"Why does it matter! Who cares about any of this shit anyway? I know I don't give a fuck!" I shouted at her. Satisfied, when I saw her flinch.
I turned around to find the next thing to throw, and settled for a large wooden chair in the corner of the room. I took it and chucked it against the concrete wall with all my force. Smiling slightly, when it broke into a million pieces.
All of my rage somehow disappeared when I heard all those wooden chips hit the hard floor. I stood there, unmoving. My eyes were tightly shut; my breathing was ragged and unsteady. When I became calm enough, I opened my eyes to assess the situation.
Yup... everything I touched was pretty much destroyed. After my little temper tantrum, I noticed I was crying... heavily and so was Bella. And that Mr. Banner was standing in the doorway.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CLASSROOM!" He screamed at us, eyes practically bugging out of his head. His face had gone beet red from the anger. If things hadn't been so tense and serious, I probably would have laughed my ass off at his outrageous face.
"It was all my fault, Mr. Banner. Don't worry, you don't have to ask me to leave. I'll gladly leave on my own." I said in a menacing voice, as I stared at Bella. She looked scared. And guilty. Good.
And with that, I turned my back on her and stormed out of the classroom.
End Flashback
"Edward, open this damn door!" I heard Alice say from the other side of my locked door.
"No," I mumbled.
"Stop with the stupid pity party, and open the door." She yelled, while banging on the door with her tiny fists.
When I didn't answer her, I heard a rustling sound come from the door knob. A few seconds later, the door sprang open causing me to jump up.
"What the hell?" I screamed at her.
She grimaced, and made herself at home by sitting down on my bed. "Explain." She demanded. Her brown eyes were slit into glares.
My shoulders slumped in defeat. I walked over and sat next to her on my bed. After a few seconds I took to collect myself, I whispered, "She broke up with me. I tried to get back with her. She refused." My voice sounded so small and broken. I hated that I sounded so weak and cowardly, but that's honestly how I felt at the moment.
She huffed in annoyance. "I knew that already. Bella told me." I could tell by her voice, that she was trying to stay calm. Bella was her best friend, and the fact that she's hurt because of me doesn't really sit well with her.
I rubbed my hands over my face. "I tried so hard to be with her. I tried to convince her to believe that I didn't cheat on her. And she said that she believed me. I was so happy, Ali. I thought she'd be with me, but no. Of course not. Of course it wasn't that easy. Things are never that easy with Bella. She told me that she couldn't be with me. I was crushed. And I got mad."
She rolled her eyes as if she couldn't believe how stupid I was. "So you decide to trash a classroom, causing you to get suspended for a week?"
It was true. My little temper tantrum caused me to get suspended from school for an entire week, a couple weeks before school ended. I would have to make up my missed time in summer school. But only a week, so I didn't really care. It would've been worse if my parents hadn't convinced the principle to keep me out for only a week by offering to pay for everything that I broke, and donate even more money to the school. Money can't buy you everything, but it sure does come in handy. "You don't understand. You don't realize how frustrating it is to try so damn hard, and have it all blow up in your face. I feel like I want her so much more than she wants me." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.
Alice's hard gaze melted into one of pity. "Edward, I may not know exactly what your going through, but I do know Bella. And yes, she is a tough cookie. For some reason, she has trust issues. She won't put her heart on the sleeve for just anybody. Even though you didn't cheat on her, the fact that she thought you did for just a split second was long enough for all her trust in you to dissipate. It sucks. I know. But that's the way it is. It's like starting from scratch again except now, your at a disadvantage." She said softly.
I stared off into space as I recalled the reason Bella didn't want to be with me. "Fucking Jessica Stanley kissed me! When I tried to break the kiss, she tightened her hold on my head so I couldn't go anywhere. So I had to wait until the bitch was done." I snarled her name.
"I know, I know." Was all she said. "But you want Bella back, right?"
"Of course I want her back. I want her back more than anything in the world. But I'm... tired." I whispered.
"What do you mean your tired?"
"I mean, I can't fight for her anymore. If we do get back together, it's going to have to be her doing. I'm not going to bother her anymore." I decided. "I can't take one more rejection. I have to think about me, you know?"
She looked like she was about to argue with me, but decided against it and nodded. "I think that's pretty dang smart, bro." She opened her arms to me, and gave me the best hug that I've had in a long time.
"What's going on in here?" Emmett asked from the doorway. Emmett was indifferent about the whole thing. He believed that everything will work out in the end, and that it was better if he didn't get involved.
"Nothing... Alice is just being the best sister in the world." I looked over and smiled gratefully at her. One of which she returned.
"Well, I try." She said cockily, while popping her nonexistent collar, seeing as she was wearing a black tank top.
"Edward, why is your doorknob broken?" Emmett asked, while twisting the broken knob.
"Alice, what the fuck did you do to it?" I stared at her.
She popped up from her spot on my bed and walked out the door while yelling out, "Drastic times call for drastic measures. I tried to pick the lock but I think I broke something. Don't worry, I'll make sure to buy you a new one."
Emmett let out a long whistle. "Sisters..."
We shared a knowing look. "Tell me about it."
Emmett took a couple steps into my room. "Dude, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You know, with everything that's going on... it's a lot to take on."
I let out a breath. "Yes... I just lost the love of my life even though I didn't do anything. And I got suspended from school because I couldn't control my temper. Life is just peachy right now." I said sarcastically.
He didn't seem fazed by my smart ass comment. "Look, just stay strong man. I kind of overhead a.k.a eavesdropped on part of you and Alice's conversation." He admitted bluntly and continued, "and I think your doing the right thing. You've tried all you could, and now it's her turn." His voice was oddly more mature than usual. "I know it'll suck if you lose her. It'll suck for all of us. But that's life. Sometimes you don't always get what you want. And if she doesn't try, just know that she isn't the one."
I know Emmett was trying to help me, and he was... to a certain extent. I didn't want to argue with him, but I knew that Bella was the one. That's why I felt so entitled to fight so hard for her... for us.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I heard the PS3 calling my name."
I chuckled at his childish behavior, and yelled a "thanks" to him as he walked away.
I went to get up and walked to my bathroom to shower.
Siblings... can't live with them, but more importantly, you can't live without them.
A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever. But I've actually started writing the next chapter already, though it won't be up for a few more days. Wednesday, June 15, 2011, to be exact. P.S. I have actually picked a lock before, not really. I did the credit card thing to my brothers locked door, and it worked! I felt like a total spy :)