Chapter 5
…and saw Jacob and Leah, sprawled out on the enormous plush-leather couch behind the series of steps and the high-legged wooden table that separated the basement from the part of the main house.
Nothing would have caused such angst, horror and pain in my heart that latched in my throat and bestowing me with the disability to speak than Jacob's fingers running smoothly over Leah's breasts.
As I stared at the scene before me that must have been a pleasurable and joyful one for the happy couple and the splintering of a heart for me, the shadow I cast hovered like an eerie ex above Jacob. Both heads snapped up at the same time but would only see the back of my head as I fled the room without so much as an 'ohmigod'.
Why wasn't anything happening nowadays a good one for me? Why couldn't anyone see the shredded pieces of my broken heart on the floor and piece them back up for me? Why did my family have to get torn apart? Why did Jacob have to leave with that hateful but beautiful woman Leah? Why did Grandma Esme and Aunt Alice have to get killed? Why was I even Renesmee, the girl I was now?
Why?
Because, in my family, I had been brought up to believe that nothing was, ever, a coincidence. One of Grandpa Carlisle's favourite lines were: "Nothing happens by chance. Nothing is a coincidence. Life is what you make of it, and everything else has already been predetermined by destiny even before one was born."
I grabbed my favourite novel off the table and spun the knob on the main door (it wasn't locked) and fled the house, my feet automatically taking flight to help me escape to my second safe haven under the sun apart from Jacob's arms: a secret little meadow in the heart of the Forks Forest, a dense forest filled with trees. There were few birds in that forest, unlike those you would expect to see in the Amazon on a much larger scale, of course. The Forks Forest was quiet, and unusually peaceful for a forest, but you had to beware. Occasionally, there would be sightings of a few more dangerous animals, such as a wolf, for example, or a black bear.
My meadow remained peaceful and beautiful, as usual. The forest was definitely not a place for tourists, or for those unfamiliar with that area. It was, rather, more for locals, or for people such as me, who had been regularly visiting the forest throughout my childhood and even afterwards. I saw it as my safe haven, which I have mentioned above, a place for me to just sit down beneath the tall tree and arrange my thoughts. It had also been a place for me to pen down words in my diary, which I have ceased to keep since I turned fifteen a few years ago, or jot down a few poems or ideas that just come to my mind.
The meadow is a beautiful image, especially in the spring. Now, revisiting it, it's just as I've remembered, the scenery: the beautiful, colourful wildflowers blending in with the comparatively plain, tall blades of grass with dew shining atop every morning; the tall tree with its lush green leaves and majestic-looking branches seeming like a shelter for me.
I sat down and stared at the cover of my very favourite novel that Grandma Esme had gotten me: Carlos and Violet: A Tale of Romance, by bestselling author Nahuel Frank.
I slowly turned the pages until I got to page 138, my favourite page.
The clearing was, by far, the best place for a romantic date. He picks up a blade of baby's breath and gently caresses her cheek. She smiles and lets out a soft giggle; sounding like a thousand sleigh-silver bells chiming in a high-pitched melody.
The day is misty; but quite as much so a magical feeling envelopes the entire clearing and the willow tree, with its sorrowful drooping branches. The couple is in a world of bliss where the only other person who exists there is each other…It's a fairytale world. Nothing could ever separate them now, not in this moment of happiness and utter bliss that they both hope can last for an eternity.
Then, all of a sudden, the ground heaves and tears itself apart as a giant fountain-like structure surfaces from the earth. It is a beautiful translucent silver, with seven enormous rosy-round pearls set atop the topmost level of the seven layers of this strange but beautiful fountain. The bottom two layers shine, the first inlaid with silver and the second inlaid with gold. The third, fourth and fifth layers spout glistening, crystal-clear water like a regular fountain. The sixth and seventh layers are inlaid with jewels of all kinds- emerald, sapphire, amethyst, topaz, onyx, moonstone, lapis lazuli, and all the precious gemstones of the earth.
The seven pearls each have a small opening within itself, and from that opening spouts mist, each in one of the different colours of the rainbow. The cooling, freshening mist envelopes the couple and surrounds them in a world of fantasy and joy.
A splinter of crystal breaks into Violet's palm and she looks up to see-
I abruptly stop reading. This is the part where the abusive millionaire Violet is engaged to, Hersten Stans-Tzerschzel, finds Violet and her secret lover, Carlos, in their private clearing. This is the worst part, the part I don't want to read. The main reason I don't read it is because I want the image of the perfect couple in their beautiful clearing to stay in my mind forever, so that I can picture it once and hope that one day, Jacob and I can be like that, too.
And, just like how teachers select model pupils, Violet and Carlos would be the perfect example of a model couple, and I would try hard not to stray from that example. Unfortunately, life isn't Hollywood and not all romances have fairytale-like endings, where the prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.
What's the purpose of living, anyway, when your lover is in love with another, better girl, much better in every aspect than you could possibly be?
When you simply can't get over that lover, even if he tortures you and your heart?
When you've given everything, your heart, your soul, your self to that one man?
When you can't decide, simply can't decide, who do you follow?
Your mind, the most rational part of your body, telling you that this man isn't worth it at all. Move on, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Can't you just face it that he's gotten over your loser style? If he can get over you, why can't you get over him?
Your heart, the most emotional part of your body, telling you that somewhere, deep down in his heart, he still loves you, cares for you, and that you should be patient. You've got so many better virtues and qualities than that jealous ex-girlfriend-so why should you back off and give up? Be patient, Nessie. You are ever dear to him, for he loves you so.
So…
I did truly feel like believing my heart. I did want to believe, strongly, that Jacob still loved me. Have I mentioned that before already? There's a bond tying him and I together, as one, that's a mystery; completely unexplainable. I can't describe this feeling in words, but it's a connection, not in the form of thick, heavy metal chains but we're connected through our hearts and minds even though our relationship has long ended.
He's ruined me by coming back. Did they plan this together? Had he known that Leah would bring me home? Or did Leah do it deliberately to cause both of us pain? I wouldn't ever know, because I would long be numb…with death.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, even though I'd love to. Oh, but the story plot is mine.
I was thinking of changing the names of the Twilight characters and entering this story in a Teen Fiction Writing Contest. Please review and tell me if this story is worth it!