Chapter 23

Our lips met instantly as the kisses started out slow and then fast as the bell rang for the elevator to open as we pulled apart, John's hand came instantly around mine making the electricity continue to flow.

John's floor wasn't as packed as mine was. People seemed to not mind us as we pasted quickly by. Except a group of four young girls maybe 17 or 18, they waved and said hello to John as he said hello back.

I laughed a little looking down at the floor; I could feel him glance back at me. I don't think I want to his cute dimples right now. That would be even more laughable and cute right now. I felt happy right now and I didn't hate being with John as I did Randy.

So what's holding me back?

In all honesty I don't really know; I just can't leave him. It makes me feel like it's the wrong decision and he's not ready to be left yet. John's a different case, I don't want to break things off with him and just be friends. That was fine before we were together, but not its way to late for that.

I felt him stop making me almost bump into his back, I heard his card key slide through and the door click open as he pulled me gently into his room. He brought me close to him as soon as we entered the room.

When John held me the world disappeared and nothing else mattered anymore at that moment. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me and kissing him lightly. It was so magically to me being here with him, it made me want to stay with him forever.

He kissed me passionately before picking me up and bringing to the couch as we both sat down breaking the kiss. I saw close to him waiting on him to talk. I already knew what he wanted to talk about before he even said it.

He asked "When are you leaving Randy?"

The question stung my heart a little making me move away a little, hopefully he didn't see that. That was the question that always stayed with me no matter what I did, the question wouldn't go away. His expression was soft and sweet, I had to tell him the truth.

I asked "If I tell you the truth you won't get mad?"

He said "No."

I moved to sit on his lap gentle wrapping my arms around his neck and began talking softly, still scared of his outcome. Maybe if I sat on his lap, he won't get mad as he usually does with the whole redness and vain looking like it's going to bust and him having to go to the hospital.

I said "I can't leave him right now John. He needs me."

He looked away from me now, moving my arms and my body to the right side of the couch and began walking around the room in a circle. Around the back of the couch then the side of the couch and in front of the coffee table, he finally stopped by the edge of the bedroom. I could tell that he was trying to stay calm.

He said "Get out."

I asked "What?"

He said "Go on."

I got up gentle and grabbed my purse going toward the door not even looking back at him. I could feel his eyes on me right now. It hurt so bad, I should have lied to him; maybe things wouldn't have gone so wrong right now. I can't change his mind though that's what hurts.

I walked feeling both hurt and angry at the same time; I can't believe how he is acting. I tried to seem calm and collected as I rounded the corner to the elevators; no one was at the elevator now. I guess everyone was settling in to their rooms. I waited on the elevator to come as the tears seemed to fall now. I tried to stop, but it was like a dam that could wash away a whole town.

I got on the elevator and pushed my floor; I looked at the time and saw it was almost time for Randy to leave the gym. I heard the elevator, so I got off slow walking to my room, then I heard Kelly calling my name from the other end of the hotel as she came sprinting toward me quickly holding out a shopping bag for me to take. I smiled at her.

She said "Got to make sure everything's covered."

I said "Thanks, come in please."

She nodded coming behind me slowly; the room was like I left it earlier, along with Randy's suitcase on the bed and his clothes covering the bed. It made me really think of why I stay with him? I put my things in the chair and sat down on the couch waiting for Kelly to come over so we can talk and I can finally explain how I'm cheating on Randy.

She sat with an excited smile on her face; it made me realize how long it had been since I talked to her. I felt alone right now, even though Randy would be getting on the elevator right about now.

I said "I been seeing John secretly."

She asked "How long?"

I said "I did last night and a few minutes ago until he threw me out."

She asked "What mean he threw you out?"

I said "He told me to get out because I told him I can't leave Randy right now, Randy needs me."

She asked "Let me ask you this, does Randy need you or do you need Randy?"

Right then Randy came in dropping his gym bag at the entrance of the door, he came in with a sweet smile toward me as he made his way over to my side of the couch. He sat down beside me making me and Kelly laugh. This was nice, but not what I wanted right now.

Kelly said "I'll talk to you later at the arena, bye."

I smiled giving her a hug when she leaned down at me; she left quickly as the room became silent. It made tension rise in the room a little between both of us. I turned around to him slowly giving an inch of space between us. He was sweating on his forehead and everywhere. EWW! That's all that came to my mind.

I said "No way, go take a nice shower."

He asked "You need one?"

I said "Maybe later."

He laughed leaning down and kissing me softly, I deepened the kiss trying to find something that still made me want to be with him. Only I came up blank, the love was gone. The only thing that was left was a small crush that I still had for him and that was disappearing every second that passed by.

He pulled back smirking before he leaned up and went to the bathroom leaving me to start crying, it seemed to help me a little. When I thought about John the tears really started pouring like a river that didn't stop because of a bad storm. After a few minutes of crying, I leaned back switching the TV on and started watching Fast and Furious as I waited on Randy to get out of the shower.

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