I own nothing.
It was the way they were now. They ignored each other. He wasn't there and she wasn't there. Except in fights. Together, they were beautiful, like the poetry of water. He was the rushing rapids while she was the soft yet powerful whisper of a far of waterfall. In fights, they acknowledged one another, kept the other safe. Yet, when the blood was spilled and victory was celebrated, they became invisible to one another once more. It was easier that way. It was easier because it hadn't always been that way.
It had started with the deaths, the funeral. He was hurt more than he let on, she was trying to understand where it had been coming from-the feelings. That was the catalyst. She had studied without prying just as he had studied her without looking. The day he did look, she broke somewhere, became incomprehensible once more.
It was the first time she had been there, pressed against the row of lockers in the ammunitions closest, their voices muffled by the close proximity of my engine. I made sure to be extra loud so as to keep my doctor from hearing. I watched, I listened. They were strange to me-not themselves, so confused and unsure of where they were going. It is silly that the man whom they call God does not program a set amount of coordinates into them so that they may not veer off course. The Captain, he veers off to the left often, he hardly ever rights himself.
As uncomprehending as they were, as lost and confused, I think I understood. It is what my Guide used to call good and right when he thought of his wife, the Quiet One. It happened for only two months before the raging Bull and my Mind's Eye parted ways. There was no more watching, no more listening. Had they been fighting? There had been no words or blood, no anger. It was like the fighting that my Guide and the Quiet One had done so very often. It was the type of fighting the raging Bull did while docked, but even then I could feel his anger. So why did he not feel anger toward my Mind's Eye? How was she different? When I asked her, she said it was not important. Her statement proved contradictory when she cried later that night. She cried every night. Like the Pretty Lady the Captain wants, but hurts so very often. I tried to ask the raging Bull, but he was too busy cleaning his new guns and taking them up over the other women he had in his bunk. When I knocked a couple down, he didn't mind, he threw them in the trash. When he told himself it was because they didn't do anything for him anymore and he needed new ones, my Mind's Eye cried. He punched me. It doesn't hurt and because I cannot talk to him, or show him how I feel, I understand his need to release his anger by attacking. At night, I wrap him in my warmth and hum him to sleep. My Mind's Eye never sleeps. They never let her sleep. She would if he would let her come to him, if she would let herself go to him. She does not want him and he does not want her. It is enough that they are.
I ain't one ta pick fights with Jayne, that's L'il River's job. But the day they stopped talkin', stopped lookin' at one another an' right out ignored each other, was a mite scary. It made sense ta myself an' Zoe, gave the Doc a bit o' comfort ta know my hired muscle weren't in mind ta do the two o' 'em a bit o' harm an' generally made life out in the black a lot less stressful.
That is, until the first fight. Jayne ain't a mind reader an' L'il River even tol' me bein' in the merc's head hurt somethin' fierce. Which is why I can't conjure no reason as ta why the two a' them knew where the other was, felt the need ta protect one another. Maybe it were instinct. But the minute that fight was o'er, it was back ta ignorin' one another. Ain't nothin' in this 'verse that rightly makes sense.
It was so simple that first time. He said her name, she kissed him. He kissed her back. It wasn't sex. That's why it stopped, they were both too confused to understand. Serenity tried to tell her, but she was ignored her. Mal tried to talk to him about the odd behavior and he brushed it off. It was best to pretend the other didn't exist. It was best to pretend the other was invisible. It was better to go on telling yourself all that mattered was yourself, whether you lived or died. But you still watched, waited to hear her voice, waited to hear his voice. You waited to see if you could see that thin line between them, wondered if it could be severed. You wondered why it was there, when it had actually appeared. He heard her screaming. Those were the days he refused to leave his bunk. When he stayed in his bunk, she screamed louder.
It was the screaming that brought him to her. She had been screaming for hours. "Get out of my head, no more needles, no more drugs, stop tapping the glass! Creeping in from the hills, I can see you, you can see me. I don't want to play this game. Cattle, we are cattle! Where are the Reavers? I don't see them! No more anger...poke and prod, rape and pillage, break my bones."
Simon, grabbed her arm ready to administer the tranquilizer. "Foreshadowing of things to come, drag me out and stuff me full. Only half, half human, that's what they want."
"River, you know what the Reavers are-"
"She ain't talkin' 'bout Reavers." No one had expected to see him that day. Jayne watched as River kicked Simon away from her. "I had a little bird, its name was Enza. I opened up the window and Influenza! They'll turn us, turn us all. Caged, beaten, used, lab rats in a maze. No sickness, just pain."
"Well, that don't sound too good," he muttered as he sat down at the table and began to clean his fingernails with his Bowie knife. She let out an extra loud shriek. "Stop, touching me! Stop touching me, I don't want this! Stop making me see you!"
"River?" Simon, rubbed his chest where she had kicked him as he stared at her in concern. She looked at him with eyes unseeing. "The Palemen, they have come."
He dropped his knife then and turned to her, looked at her finally. Her blind gaze turned to him. "They see you, see all of you. Want you, want to control you, touch you, break you, hurt you, make you. They will have us all. Sane become insane. Dead in the Water! They're in our black, no more screaming in anger, screaming in pain! The mutilated are screaming in pain! The angry are in fear...The Palemen, they have come!"
Jayne drove his knife into the table and stormed up to the bridge. He didn't like what he saw. "Mal!"
There was a thunder of boots across the grating as Mal and Zoe ran toward him. Jayne pointed out into the black. "Dead in the water."
A/N: okay, first part is a narration by Serenity, the ship itself. Second is by Mal. The rest is third person. You have any questions, just ask. feedback is always welcome.