A/N: waaaaah! I'm such a bad child! Bad bad child! I can't believe I've left this alone for so long… school is crazy… Thanks to Freefallinggone, BrokenheartedBella, Sydneeannmarie, darlene10104, Manaliac, JazzofPalePhoenix, BaronessOfShadow, and Reluctant Twilight Fan! You're all such sweethearts! I looooove yooouuu!

Wooooh, still riding on the high from seeing the SEVENTH HARRY POTTER MOVIE PART 1! Saw it in New York at six o'clock on the 18th in imax, then saw it again last night, then saw it again today! IS ANYONE ELSE THRILLED TO PIECES? I LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! I'LL TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT SO MESSAGE ME!

Sorry, I'm a huge Potterhead. In fact, it's rather shocking that I'm writing Twilight fics instead of Harry Potter, b/c it's kind of my life. I can't even tell my friends that I'm writing for Twilight, they would eat me.

Anyway, on with the story!

Sam okayed a quick fight before we left, so we went out into a wide clearing in the forest. Jared, Embry, and Paul followed, obviously eager to see who'd win. After waiting for Jacob to go around the corner to change—he wanted to save the meager amount of clothes he had—he leapt out from behind, obviously meaning to catch me by surprise. I blocked his attack with my forearm easily, and he flew back, far back, almost into the trees. We circled each other for a moment; Jacob growled, and I grinned. The boys egged us on in the background.

"Come on, wolfie," I murmured. "You're going to need those healing skills when I'm finished with you."

He charged, barreling towards me at just over the speed of a vampire. I could feel Nemesis's cold, brutal instinct settling within me, joining us so we were truly one, my mind functioning like an automaton.

Dodge. I leapt to the right. Kick. I jumped into the air, spinning around quickly, my foot landing with a crack on Jacob's back. He whimpered a bit, and a part of me that still wasn't engaged winced for him, but Nemesis crowed in triumph. The unengaged part of me ordered myself to be fair and wait until he got up before attacking again. He got to his feet, shaking out his fur, snarling at me. I smirked.

This time he didn't charge head-on; he feinted to the left before going for my right. Still too slow—I dived downward, pushing off the ground with my arms and slamming into his stomach with my feet. He flew into a tree and landed on his back. Still without flash, I was there within the thinner side of a millisecond, pinning him to the ground by the neck. His claws flailed, aiming for the side of my face; I blocked one, taking it and squeezing it just hard enough to fracture.

"We done here?" I asked smugly.

With a low exhale, he went limp.

I got up, letting him trot defeatedly into the forest to phase. He returned, wincing and sullen. "Damn, Bella," he grumbled. "We are so having a rematch."

"Quit being a pussy and admit I won."

He threw up his hands. "Fine! You won. You won."

"Damn straight I won!" I screamed. "I just beat your naked wolf ass! You were just pwned!"

"Shut up," he muttered, glaring at his snickering friends.

Jared held out his hand to Embry, face smug. Embry scowled. "I'll pay you tomorrow," he muttered.

"You better."

"All right, all right, that's enough," Sam stepped in. "We've got work to do."

"You sure you can patrol tonight, Jakey?" I cooed. "That hand looks a little tender."

"I said shut up."

"Well, if you all need help, just give me a holler," I said, smirking. "Our little agreement notwithstanding, I still back up my friends."

"Duly noted," Sam gave a little smile.

"See you tomorrow?" Jacob asked.

"Sure thing." I waved, heading back towards the car as they disappeared into the woods.

I arrived home to Charlie, who once more met me at the door. "What's going on, Bella?" he demanded immediately. "I thought Jacob was part of a gang and you two were fighting."

"We made up," I shrugged casually. "And I said I wasn't sure about the gang thing. It was no big deal."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I met Sam Uley and his fiancée, Emily. They seemed pretty nice to me. Must have all been a misunderstanding."

His facial expression softened. "I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official. That's nice. Poor girl."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"Mauled by a bear, up north, during salmon spawning season—horrible accident. It was more than a year ago now. I heard Sam was really messed up over it."

"I can imagine," I muttered.

He left me alone after that; I told him I was going outside for a little fresh air. I walked out the back door, around to a path I hadn't walked for a long time.

The footprints were long gone, of course. Remnants of another time. I smiled bitterly, looking up at the trees.

What had he said to me?

Hm. It was useless, asking myself such questions. Because as much as I wished to, I could never forget.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

I would never forget.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I closed my eyes. I had run after him, hadn't I? Calling for him. Calling his name.

"Take care of yourself."

Of course. I always ran after him.

"You are my life now."

I opened my eyes, and they flared red in the darkness.

"Bankai."

Time was starting to pass more quickly. Spring break came and I visited Jacob more often than not. Although I wasn't in school yet, I was slowly integrating myself back into my old circle of friends. It was strange, how well I could connect with my old human friends, when I, myself, was not human. But otherwise, I trained. I trained hard. I trained hard enough to make Nemesis smile.

And if you didn't know, that's pretty damn hard.

But school—it came to me easily like this. My memory, as a vampire, was infallible (it was amazing how much I forgot I was a vampire; my mask was nearly permanent for safety's sake). Charlie was happy again: he saw a contented daughter with perfect grades. He nearly cried seeing me study for my Calculus test over the break.

However, I think I was beginning to worry Jacob.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and at his request, I stopped by his house, only to discover he still wasn't home. In a huff, I went into the forest and proceeded to continue training (according to Nemesis, time spent not practicing was time wasted).

I was feeling frustrated. Nemesis had told me that my bankai was something unique to me only, something that maximized my potential in battle. She told me that my bankai, in particular, was something, and I quote, "delicious."

Naturally, I was dying to see what it was.

But it refused to show itself.

After setting up protective kido around the area, I took a deep breath, focusing with all my strength, letting my mind be dominated by serenity, the type of serenity that comes with bloodlust.

"Bankai."

An explosion. Debris blasted outward from where I stood, confined by invisible walls and settling on the ground. The sound could have vaporized the eardrums of an average human, had I not put up wards. But besides all of this, besides the dust dyed black lying at my feet, and my burning red eyes, there was nothing.

"Why, Nemesis? Why doesn't it work?"

You must trust me, she murmured, her whisper echoing in my ears. I tell you this every time. I promise, when you use it in combat, it will not fail you. You simply must practice.

"But why? Why can't you tell me what it does?"

The time is not right…

I hissed in fury. The time was not right, the time was not right. The time was never right. I let out a scream of frustration. It had a strange, ghostly quality to it, roaring and eldritch. The black dust jumped into the air again, swirling like miniature hurricanes, my frustration manifesting itself as power in the confined space.

"Bella!"

Jacob's muffled voice called my name from outside the walls. I turned, only to be blinded suddenly.

You must not look!

Nemesis had flown from my mind into existence, her thin hand covering my eyes.

"What the hell, Nemesis?" I snarled.

"Jeez, I didn't think your sword would be one for such modesty, Bells," Jacob laughed, his voice distorted by the barriers.

I took down the kido and sealed away my bankai. Nemesis removed her hand, looking down.

Jacob smirked at us from across the way, buttoning his pants, his mirth not quite enough to mask the worry in his eyes.

"Was he what this was about, Nem?" I asked. She didn't answer, vanishing silently.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He walked toward me, peering down into my eyes. I looked away, irritated.

"You've been training a lot, huh."

"Your point?"

"It's spring break. Shouldn't you be taking it easy?"

"Shouldn't you?"

He sighed. "Maybe we both need a break."

I was silent.

"Tell you what. I'll take tomorrow off. The others can run without me. We'll do something fun."

Honestly, training was fun. I told him so.

He rolled his eyes. "You need some real fun. Hmm…" He stared out into the dark ocean, speculating. His eyes lit up. "Got it! Another promise to keep."

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't I promise to take you cliff diving?"

My lips tightened. I remembered the reason I wanted to do that.

Or, I should say, I remember the reason the old Bella wanted to do that.

Well, I can tell you for sure that I was not going back to the old Bella. And that included not bowing to weakness. Because as hard as I was working, there was still that small, weak part of me that urged me to go, to hear his voice one last time.

But no. Nemesis and I smiled, unanimous. There was no need. I would hear his voice plenty enough, one day.

One day, he would scream.

"How about this, Jacob," I suggested. "Why don't we save the death-defying stunts for when it's a bit warmer. Let's spend the day inside. You need some rest. We'll rent some movies, eat some pizza or something. I'll even do your hair."

"Great," he rolled his eyes, but looked relieved all the same. "It's a date."

We really needed to clarify this whole relationship thing.

When I arrived in the morning, Jacob had gone after Victoria. Furious that no one had called me, I went out after their trail, but my sense of smell with my mask on was far duller than it was without it, and I couldn't risk becoming a vampire just in case the wolves smelled it. So I traced them as best I could, knowing I'd be too late for any action.

But it didn't matter. The wolves didn't catch her, just as I suspected. And life went on.

Yes. Life went on.

Until one day.

One day, when I was finally arriving at the peak of my potential. I was close. So close. Close enough for Nemesis to let me take a break from my training.

Satisfaction was coursing through me, matched with the usual frustration. Curiosity over my bankai continually ate away at me, but it was bearable. And I was proud of myself. I had come a long way.

One day, I'd be able to find who made me this way, and show him what he left behind.

I laughed quietly at the thought. Maybe I should spare him. After all, it's thanks to him I've come this far.

Your development's delay is also his fault, Nemesis growled. Merciless, that one. God, I love her.

It was a Saturday evening. Charlie was down at La Push, so I knew he was taken care of. I was lying on my bed, reading Interview with the Vampire.

Now, Anne Rice, there's a woman with rich writing. It was amazing, the way she captured the suffering and experiences of a creature of which she knew nothing. Louis reminded me a bit too much of him, for my liking, however. Lestat and Claudia suited my tasted.

I was contemplating this, thinking about the parallels between a woman's fantasy and my reality, when I heard it.

It was just a rustle at first. That's all. A rustle, too soft for human ears. Like a whisper just outside the window.

I donned my mask immediately, just in case it was Jacob... or Victoria. Standing, I backed to the other side of the room, tense.

"B-bella?"

That voice.

"Bella."

That voice. That voice like velvet, a voice that I'd only heard in my mind, a voice that sounded far more broken than it used to.

I lifted my head. There he was. A beautiful dream. And that's all it could be, a dream.

A nightmare.

I lifted a pale hand, walking forward, my limbs strangely numb. Nemesis was silent in my head. I was alone.

I was alone.

"Bella, it's me."

I touched his chest carefully, exhaling softly. Cold. A cold nightmare.

Or a dream?

"Bella?"

His icy hand reached up, touching my face, just a light stroke with the back of his hand, just like he used to.

Ah, so cold.

With the force of all my power, feeling slammed back into every part of my body, and I shuddered visibly, my hand clenching his shirt as my breath sped.

I saw an unnatural whiteness spreading down my arm, down my body, my senses sharpening, my eyes darkening. I could smell him, smell that scent like fresh flower blossoms, hear his gentle breathing under my touch. My hand was white now, tendons strained, shaking.

"Bella?"

His words were suddenly of a different pitch, his horror stretching them through my ears. I felt smile spread across my face, and the blackest joy I'd ever felt coursed through my body.

I tilted my head up, ghostly tears flowing from my eyes.

"Welcome back, Edward."

I pounced.

A/N: I know, you hate me for cutting it off, you'll kill me if I don't update, blahdiblahdiblah. Or maybe those are just my fantasies. Why don't you leave a review and boost my self esteem, yeah? Sounds good. I'll be a little more responsible with the next chapter, hopefully, but a lot's been going on—my parents have been fighting, I've been obsessing over Harry Potter, I've been trying to figure out a certain relationship… but there should be more, b/c to be honest, this is definitely a vent fic. That's probably why the writing's so bad ^_^