A/N: I know, I'm shameless, putting up a chapter so late. Sigh. Thanks to an anonymous reviewer (Ashley?) who really, really scared me (if you're not the Ashley I think you are, then thanks loads for the review! But if you are that Ashley, when the hell did I tell you my account name? **panic panic** you better not tell ANYONE I wrote a fic as bad as this one! You scared me to DEATH!)
Thanks again to ElorianGoddess, darlene10104, lionnara, Manaliac, and maybe Ashley (if you're not the fracking psychopath I think you are) and anyone else I didn't mention who reviewed! You make me feel loved and inspired to update! I love you too!
Oh, and um, I happen to be looking for a beta… you know, help me clean things up a little, smack me around a bit when I take too long… any takers? You'll have to teach me a bit about the system, tho, I dunno how it works… pm me or something…
Song recommendations for this chapter (the songs I wrote the chapter to, actually): Over the Clouds by alan dawa dolma (first half of the chapter), and Hyperballad by Bjork (second half, and I understand if you're not a Bjork fan, she's an acquired taste)
Enjoy enjoy enjoy! Eternal disclaimer! Peace and love!
I pounced.
His stricken eyes would be forever in my memories. I threw him out the window, so hard he slammed into a tree a couple hundred feet away.
He slid down to the ground, shellshocked. I walked slowly towards him, tasting his fear in the air, savoring it, loving it.
"You're—you're a vampire," he gasped out, his beautiful face horrified.
I simply smiled coolly, continuing to approach him.
"How?" he asked, begged. "How? Who did this to you?"
I was silent, standing just before where he sat.
"What happened to you?"
I knelt, taking his face in my hands. I dug my nails into his cheeks, my only want, my only need, to mar that perfect face. His brow contorted, he stared me in the eyes.
"Edward," I breathed. "Edward, Edward, Edward. So you've returned."
I stepped back, releasing his head, turning away, walking back. "Why?"
"There's something—there are many things I want to say to you, Bella," he whispered. "But the first thing I wish to do is apologize."
"Apologize," I laughed softly. "Apologize." I echoed.
"Apologize!" I screamed suddenly, and he flinched back.
"Oh, you wanted to apologize," I muttered, pacing quickly around the perimeter of the forest. "I see, you would like to apologize to me." I threw up my hand, and he jumped, but I merely threw some kido into the air. He saw something white fly from my hand and dissolve.
"What are you doing?" he asked in a muted tone, still relatively calm. "Is this your power?"
"You could say that," I answered quietly. "But right now, I am simply putting up some safety measures. We wouldn't want anyone to get involved in the backlash, would we?"
"Backlash?"
"You see, Edward, this is exactly what I wanted." I turned back to him, throwing more kido into the air. "I wanted you to come back to me and apologize." I reinforced the walls one last time. "Yes, I wanted to you say sorry. I wanted you to ask for my forgiveness. I wanted you to beg for my forgiveness."
I stopped in front of him.
"Yes. That's what I really wanted." I watched him, serene. "I wanted you to beg. I want you to beg." At last, I smiled once more. "I want you to scream. And you will, Edward. You will scream. You'll scream just for me.
"It will be lovely, Edward. You'll beg, and beg, and beg, and it will never end. No, there will be no end. You'll live in eternal pain, and I will live in eternal joy.
"Now, Edward," I sighed the words. "My Edward. The time is right.
"Yes. It's time.
"Bankai."
He flew off his feet, thrown into the invisible wall, and my laughter echoed off the barriers and bounced back in waves of vibrating sound, ripping in waves through the black debris, as my laughter grew louder and shriller until it was a scream. The same ghostly, hollow scream as before, but a thousand times more terrible, a thousand times louder, a thousand times more powerful.
He stared back into the mass of darkness, unable to see me, terror darkening his eyes to black as he finally caught sight of my blood red eyes.
Something I wasn't expecting happened then.
As we locked eyes, he immediately fell to the ground, seizing up, choking screams coming from his mouth. But his eyes remained open, locked upon mine as I flew closer through the black, breathing slow, rattling breaths.
Something blue was flowing from his mouth as he screamed, his eyes open and popping, mad with pain. I took him by the neck, his muscles straining as his body convulsed, leaning over his mouth, releasing him from my look for just a moment.
Delicious.
A smile grew over my face, and my laughter rang out once more, as I realized exactly what this power was, and why I couldn't see it while alone. Why Nemesis covered my eyes when I met Jacob in the forest.
"So what did you see, Edward?" I cooed. "What did you feel? What was the worst feeling you've ever felt?"
He lay in my arms, breathing heavily, eyes closed. I tightened my hold on his neck.
"Tell me, precious," I hissed. "It will make replicating it that much easier."
"Lie…s…" he coughed hoarsely, eyes still tightly closed.
"You believe… I lie?"
As I looked him in the face his eyes were forced open once more, and his screams came on strangled breath, his body seizing once more, his arms circling around his torso, just… as I… used… to…
I released my look once more, and at once he leapt upward, his hands grasping my arms feebly. "No!" He gasped out. "No… not… your lies… my lies!"
"Your lies?" I asked. "Ah, yes… you did tell many lies, Edward…"
"You… you don't understand," his voice was imperceptibly stronger. "My lies. The lies I told that day, here." He gasped again suddenly. "The lies that made you what you are now."
"I understand perfectly well, Edward," I answered, my voice even softer now, even stormier. "Your lies did make me what I am today. I wonder, Edward, how many girls did you tell lies to?" I was thoughtful, though, for a moment. Because something didn't match up.
Why would he feel bad for telling lies? Did his conscience decide to make an appearance after he left me? The idea incensed me further.
He could sense this, and was getting more desperate. "No, Bella, please, listen… before that day, here, in this forest, I never told you a lie. I never told another woman what I'd told you, never in my 105 years of life. That day, that lie, is what made me come back, come back to you, Bella. Ever since I left, I never stopped thinking about what I'd said to you that day. There hasn't been a minute while I was gone that I haven't regretted what I told you." His eyes were haunted, hollow, and I was brought back to the days when I was weak, when the only thing that kept me alive was the hallucination of his voice.
Did I bring unyielding jurisdiction to the wicked? Yes.
But I would never unjustly attack the weak.
"What are you saying?" I said, uncertain for the first time.
"I'm saying, Isabella Swan—" He inhaled a shuddering breath. "That there hasn't been a moment on this earth from the time I met you that I did not love you."
"You-you lie," I whispered. "You left me. You said I wasn't good for you."
"Those were lies, Bella. Victoria was coming. Jasper had just almost killed you. I thought… I thought the only way you'd be safe was if I left you, took you out of my world completely."
"You were wrong!" I snarled. "Do you see me now? Do you see what happened to me? You asked who did this to me, Edward. Well, it wasn't Victoria. It was Laurent, the one nobody was watching, you fucking bastard." I took a deep, calming breath. "But no matter. If there's anyone I'm thankful to, it's him for showing me who I am."
"Showing you…?"
"Why should I tell you?" I screamed. "I have no proof of what you just said to me! If you had been lying to me before, it wouldn't be above you to lie again just to save your worthless life!" I took his face by the chin, digging my nails into his flesh. "Why don't you look me in the eyes and tell me you love me, you lying bastard! Look at me!"
"I love you, Isabella Swan."
And as my red gaze met his, I was abruptly pulled into a mind that was not mine, a heart that I thought I knew. A heart richer than I could have ever imagined, one that saw the human me as a goddess, but a goddess made of silk over glass. One that he only hurt, and hurt, and hurt.
I watched, merely a visitor, flying through the memories vibrant with color and immeasurable pain.
What can I do? What can I do, if I can't even protect her from my own brother?
He was watching me. He was always watching me.
He'd been thinking about it. It'd been on his mind since the moment he met me. Monster. He saw a figure as defenseless as a child, standing next to the strongest beast in existence. She must live. He saw a presence that did nothing but harm, exposing a kitten to a den of wolves, an unhealthy obsession caused by an unconventional—but so pure, so true—love.
This is the only way.
He was watching me, watching my heart break through my eyes, watching me believe so easily that which negated the hundred times he told me he loved me. He was watching me as he left me behind, watching me run after him aimlessly, watching me, broken, but alive.
Alive.
So he ran. He ran, far, far away, but to where, he didn't know. All he knew was he left his heart behind him, broken, but alive. He didn't leave the border before he fell to the ground, and ceased to move for a long time.
I will die… if she can live.
This went on for days, and weeks, and months. His only task was to follow Victoria, to forbid Alice from watching me, to remember his duty.
I will die, if she can live. I will die, if she can live. Die for her. Live for her. Die for life. Life. Alive. Keep her alive.
But nothing changed. It was just that pain, that endless, inestimable pain. He was still watching me. Every day, every hour, every second, my face before his blind eyes, my broken heart bleeding through my eyes.
The only way. Die for life.
So long. This life for so long, this death for so long. Just a check, he thought. I'll just check on her.
Would he be able to resist begging for forgiveness, at returning? If I was hurting, if he died for death? Just a check. It wouldn't come to that.
At my window, of course it came to that. Of course. Just her name. I walked towards him. Just one touch.
But what was wrong? What's wrong with her? Oh, God, no. No, no, no. Dead. Death. Die for death.
Failure.
He would not—could not ever defend himself against my punishment. It was a mere percent of what he deserved. Those red eyes, the eyes that said my soul was gone—that was what he deserved.
That was the only thing he deserved.
But I, I deserved the truth. The truth, nothing else. The truth and an eternal, silent protector. Either that, or his corpse at my feet. I love you, Isabella Swan.
You are my life now.
I broke away, the demonic gleam fading from my eyes as I shook my head in denial. The kido fell. I backed away from that face, that honest, pure, broken face.
I could not look at it, now.
I turned and fled.
A/N: Well, there you have it, my children. You guys are really lucky I decided to finish this chapter and update, even though I have three tests tomorrow. Feel honored ^_^
Oh, and Bella's power will be explained more in further chapters. Yes, another bit stolen from another universe. I'm so unoriginal XP
And there will be lots more updates during the next week! Thank Godric for winter break! Merry Christmas, if you celebrate it, and if I don't update before then!
Reviews=Love!