Eli sat against his door listening to his parents make multiple phone calls. He could hear them getting more upset with each and every one. He wasn't sure if they were for work or talking to his aunts and uncles about his grandmother. God how he didn't want to go to a funeral. The only thing he could possibly hate more than the uniform policy was a funeral. Everyone crying, miserable, in little corners talking about the person who died. It only made him more upset to hear stories about the person that died, as if they're still alive.

The one thing he didn't have to worry about was being dressed properly.

Out of nowhere, the chatter from downstairs seized. He heard telephones hit the receivers and his parents (or at least one of them) plopping down on the couch. Then he heard mumbling.

He hated the sound of mumbling, it made him so irritated, they can't talk in a normal tone?

He scooted a little more toward the wall, opening the door. He then scooted closer to lean his head out to listen what was going on downstairs.

"So, no funeral?" He heard his father say in a distraught voice.

"No…too soon."

He heard his father sigh, "It'll always be too soon."

"Great…"

He scooted out more, looking through the rails of the stairway down into the living room to see his mother walking over to sit down next to his father. The only things he saw next were his mother wrapping her arms around his father and lay her head on his shoulder. There was nothing else going on, the TV was off, the light on the chandelier was dimmed.

They were really taking this hard he thought to himself. Yet he still wasn't crying. He kept saying to himself that reality just hadn't hit him yet and when the time comes that he has to face it, it will. He was still looking at his parents, he looked through the bars of the rails waiting for them to do something, at least saying something would make him feel a little better. After fifteen minutes of staring and sighing, he gave up and scooted farther into his room. Locking his door.

Clare was sipping some more of her hot chocolate, it was nearly 30 degrees and she was ready for snow. She sat in the living room reading a book on classical ballet (which she had borrowed from Alli on the way home) while her parents worked in the office. She heard them bicker every once in a while but as long as they weren't screaming at each other…

She heard someone start to walk out, she took a pillow hiding the book, the leaning against the pillow and grabbing from the counter Night and flipping it to a random page. It was her mom, grabbing some files she left on the counter. Before leaving she looked at Clare,

"Night? By Elie Wiesel?"

Clare sipped her cocoa nonchalantly, "Classic. I have to read it for a school report." she lied, not knowing what the story was about at all.

"Alright." She was about to walk off when she noticed the book under the pillow. "What's that?" she pointed.

Clare grew nervous as she threw in a "confused" laugh, "What are you talking about."

Her mother reached up under the pillow that was propped by Clare's hip and looked at the cover.

"The Art of Fine Ballet?"

Clare tried to giggle, as if she had no idea how the book was there. Her mother flipped through it,

"Is this one of mine?"

Clare leaned up taking it from her, "No…" she no longer had a choice, "It's mine…well actually it's my friend Alli's but, I borrowed it from her…", she set down her cup, "I'm taking ballet."

Her mother stared at her, in either shock or delight.

"Your what?"

Clare did not like repeating herself, "I'm…" she felt herself shaking a little, "I auditioned at The Star Kirov and…I'm waiting to see if I got a part-"

"Randall!" her mother screamed walking into the office. Clare finally jumped up running after her, what had she done?

"Mom! It's not his fault I did it without your permission, I wanted it to be a surprise-" they were in the office and he mom shouted in…delight,

"Clare is taking ballet!"

Her father was immediately lost, he stood up from his computer, "What?"

"She auditioned at the studio for…" she turned to Clare, she then realized what she was supposed to say,

"The Nutcracker-"

"The Nutcracker! Oh, that's one of my favorites!"

Her mother was unbelievably happy and her father was confused, "When did she restart ballet? I thought she hated it."

Clare couldn't reveal her plan, if she did it would ruin everything.

"I did, but…" Think of something Edwards! "I thought I should give it another chance and I'm waiting to see if I got a part-" once again she was interrupted by her mother who ran up to her hugging her,

"I'm so happy for you!"

She hugged her mother, somewhat frightened, she liked ballet that much? Then she looked at her dad, who smiled at her.

This is working!

She got a triumphant feeling as she gleefully embraced her mother.

xXx

Eli skipped all of his classes the next day. But instead of sitting outside the Dot, he sat in the park, laying on a picnic table as no one was bound to show up. He stared at the gray sky thinking any minute that snowflakes were going to start falling. Lucky for him he wore his jacket that day, yet he was still cold. He had listened to over 14 songs out of the 500 that were on his music player, he pulled the ear phones out and sat up, propping his feet on one of the table benches.

He kept thinking of his family, or what was his family. No one could talk to each other, and now when they did, it was arguing and bitter anger. He was starting to get used to his parents snapping at each other, which disgusted him. He was sure it would end soon though, he remembered his parents almost divorced once or twice in his life time but somehow, something kept them together.

Then he remembered, it was him.

He somehow always reminded them that he still needed them, especially since he was younger at the time. He also thought how different life would be if they had divorced. He bet his life would've been even more erratic and dysfunctional. Moving back and forth between houses, an unplanned schedule, which bus to take 'home' from school. Even right now he didn't feel like being home.

He was somehow lucky enough to keep his parents and have a happy family. But lately he kept asking himself Am I happy? He felt like he was a disappointment at times, like he was the pessimist of the family; and whenever he tried to talk about it with his father, all he'd do it joke and remind him his uncles the only pessimist.

Serious dad or jokester dad, he was a great dad.

He smiled to himself. Staring at the sky again.

Clare was finishing up her essay as Jake nervously walked up behind her. He took his seat next to her, he gently poked her arm,

"Hey."

Clare stopped, taking a second then remembering who he was, "Oh hey." she said with a casual smile.

"So…you never told me by the way," he opened up his folder grabbing some paper, "What's your plan to keep your parents together?"

Clare leaned in to whisper, "I'm taking ballet." Jake stared at her a blank stare as she backed up to her seat, smiling.

He nodded, impressed by her efforts, "Cool." he then began on his essay.

As the bell rang the two walked to Clare's locker, "So what show did you audition for?"

"The Nutcracker. I see if I got a part this weekend."

Jake felt awkward looking down at her, "Really? That's actually pretty sweet." that comment made him feel more awkward. She didn't seem to mind as she turned the dial,

"That's just the beginning," she opened it up, "Last night when I told my parents, they flipped out."

Jake raised an eyebrow.

She giggled, "In a good way." she grabbed her binder and closed the door.

Jake smiled, "Well, if that made them happy, then trust me, getting a snowflake will make them proud."

Clare smiled, looking back up at him, "Well, I'm not going to get the lead that's for sure, but I think maybe a rat…or…a background dancer I don't know, something that, does something-"

"Hey," he leaned down a little, "No matter what you get, you'll be awesome." he remarked, gently punching her shoulder. She smiled a little as he walked away to his locker all the way on the other side of the hall. As Clare watched she was a bit humbled, and confused.

~X~

"So where the hell were you yesterday?" Dave struggled to open his juice. Adam who was sitting across from him raised his head up, he had completely zoned out and didn't even hear him.

"What?"

"You bailed on us yesterday."

Connor and Wesley were still helping out in Ms. Oh's class, they claimed it was for 'extra credit'. Dave would love to know what kind of 'extra credit'.

"Sorry," He looked at Dave, who was squeezing the cap on his juice bottle, it wouldn't budge, "I was having… a bad day and I left."

He looked at the cap with intensity, "Damn, you have a bad day and you get to flake? I wish I had that kinda' opportunity." He twisted and turned his wrist but it wasn't moving.

Adam took the bottle from him, tightly grabbing the cap then not even struggling, opened it with ease. Dave stared in amazement as he handed it back to him.

"Damn! Super human strength!" he sipped it, Adam smirked, "My brother's made me open many sodas and water bottles for him, I think I know the art of it now."

Dave gestured his bottle, wanting to say something, "I know the feeling. I have a little sister, Tasha. Sweet thing, but she's beaten me, my dad, and my uncle at arm wrestling. And my uncle's a pro wrestler!"

Adam laughed, he had heard of Tasha, he'd seen her a few times when he went to Science Olympics. At first he thought there was no way a girl as sweet and quiet as her, could be related to Dave. Dave let in that she had a little crush on him, which made sense why she begged Adam for a hug when the Olympics were over.

"I remember her. And she's…what seven?"

"Six!"

Poor Dave he thought, his father's strength must've skipped a generation and went to Tasha.

Wesley and Connor showed up, setting their belongings down and sitting in their usual order.

"And where the hell were you two?"

Wesley took off his glasses, wiping them on his shirt, "Helping grading papers."

Adam chimed in, "Did you get mine?" he joked.

"Actually yeah," he put them back on, pushing them in place, "A+."

Adam smiled, Dave turned to him, "That means you got me, what did I get?"

Wesley snickered, he turned to Connor, who was trying not to laugh, "C-."

Adam couldn't help but smirk, Dave nodded, he figured. He studied for merely five minutes. Adam leaned over the table, "And what was this, artificial intelligence you were bragging about the other day?"

Dave turned to him, pointing a finger at him, "Hey, don't get smart on me smart one. I had things going on."

Adam chuckled as they started to laugh and joke around.

Clare sat at her usual table with Alli they were mainly discussing girl things but then her parents were somehow brought up.

"Oh! Alli, I wanted to tell you that, my parents found out about the ballet…"

Alli made an intense face, "Oh dear."

"No, they were happy about it!"

Alli raised an eyebrow, both happy and confused. Then out of nowhere Jake showed up, he was about to walk past the table until he noticed Clare,

"Oh, hey Clare,"

She smiled as she looked up at him, "Hey Jake." Alli turned around, not seeing anything but a torso, then looking up to see his face, "Hi."

"Is, is-I-"

"Crap, the stuttering? The STUTTERING had to come back?"

"Is it, all right if I sit here?"

Clare and Alli looked at each other, thinking about it, giving each other side nods then looking back up at him, "Sure."

He then got a small boost of confidence. "Thanks." He grabbed a chair from an empty table then pulled it in between him and Alli.

"Alli, this is my new classmate, Jake. He's actually the one who told me, I should try to figure out what my parents both love."

Alli pursed her lips, nodding, holding out her hand, "Alli Bhandari, Clare's best friend since 7th grade."

Jake smirked, shaking her hand, "Nice to meet you Clare's best friend."

He took out a water bottle, Clare sat up and looked at him,

"We were just talking about how, my parents loved the ballet idea." she sighed, "In two days, I'll find out if this plan works or not."

Alli smiled, "Don't worry, they say people pay more attention to the background dancers than the lead roles anyway."

Jake pointed his finger, swallowing his water, "That's true, while the leads are standing their looking attractive, and what not, the background dancers are literally, doing all the dancing."

Clare laughed, "Well, like I said, as long as I get to at least stand on my toes on stage, even for two seconds, I'll be happy."

Jake smirked, Clare stopped…the way he smirked…it made her think about…Alli tapped her on the shoulder, "Hey, were there any cute guys at the audition line? I can't remember."

Eli was walking home, it was finally too cold for even him to bear. Morty was parked outside. He hadn't used him in a while, nor had he bothered to look at the engine. Strangely, Eli just gave him an eyeshot and continued to walk to the front door. His father's car wasn't there, and his mother always took the morning bus to work so therefore he could get away with skipping for that day.

He walked inside, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the coffee table, he slumped down on the couch noticing something was underneath his jacket, he picked it up to see piles and piles of photos.

He picked a few up, he saw photos of him when he was about…god, maybe three of four at their beach house in Long Island. They went there every summer for two weeks and met up with almost all of his family. His aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, his grandparents of course, and his cousins. He was the youngest of his cousins, even now they still call him their 'baby cousin'.

In these pictures he was mostly outside, making sand castles or in the ocean, then there were pictures of him and his cousins all scattered out on the beach, then a picture of when he and his cousin Daniel or as Eli had gotten used to calling him Danny, who was six at the time, buried Daniel's older brother Joshua, who was about twelve at the time, in the sand.

"Damn…" he thought, "How the fuck old are they now?" As the math would show if he was four in that picture, and he was sixteen (going on seventeen) now, Danny would be eighteen, then Josh would be twenty four.

He knew he'd be the last to graduate, but unfortunately for his cousins, their lives went array the moment they did. Josh wasn't exactly a good kid. Although a nice play mate for Eli when he was younger, he was a liar.

He lied, just for the sake of lying. He somehow ended up in an apartment, merely twenty years old, with an eighteen year old girl (who eventually got pregnant) with no job, no mortgage paid, and hardly enough money to keep food in the house. He never did get to meet his new little cousin…however his father insisted that he pretend there is no little cousin, hopelessly disappointed in his oldest nephew.

Then Danny, it was more tragic for him.

Eli remembered trembling through this story, and it was only a year ago.

Danny was a good kid. He was in gifted classes, A and B student, played sports and was an honest to goodness nice guy. Even Eli's parents cried of joy when he graduated, thinking that he would do something with his life.

He got somewhere alright, somewhere awful.

Eli remembered listening to the phone call that his dad got from his uncle that Danny had been selling drugs. He was arrested for a tender 3 months until he was let out for 'good behavior'.

Then something worse happened. Danny was out with a few of his friends, one of them, Eli couldn't remember the name, was angry at this kid for ruining a football game for him that truly wasn't his fault and wanted the ultimate revenge. He had a gun.

Then Danny told the story to Eli himself, Danny was the one to pick the lock of the kids apartment, then his friend handed him a led pipe. They busted in, the kid was asleep. Danny struck the kid right on shot in the head. Danny then claimed that his 'friend' just watched as if he wanted him to do more. He beat him, and beat him up to the point where he insisted he saw blood oozing out.

That's when the other kid shot him.

Eli put the pictures down, he took a few more pictures and set them on top of those. He'd never be like them. His parents raised him better than their's did anyway. Out of all the things Eli's father taught him to avoid, the one he told him to pay attention most to, is stupid choices.

Of course Eli wouldn't sell drugs!

Of course Eli wouldn't bash someone's head in with a pipe!

The sheer thought of wanted to do something like that disgusted him.

That's when he started to wonder why his grandpa would send him those photos. Then he remembered, grandma spend the entire day out on the beach with them that day…taking pictures.

He laid down on the couch, facing the ceiling. He knew the first few weeks were the hardest. The first year was the hardest. Yet even after reliving those horrid memories just now, he just wasn't crying.

He felt more guilty than ever, and he had a horrible knot in his stomach, that was pulling and pulling by the second.

xXx

Clare was sitting at her desk finishing her English assignment. An expository essay on: What's the strangest thing that's happened to you?

Clare had to give time to think about it, lucky for her she started her homework early that day. The strangest thing that ever happened to her…she had many strange things that happened to her…it took her a good five minutes to truly put some thought in this. Finally the last thing that came into her head, she just started writing and writing.

She then heard a loud whirring sound. She then saw her phone vibrating next to her, the caller ID said Alli.

"Hello?"

"Clare! The roles are up!"

She set her pencil down, "What?"

"They said auditions ended early because no more people had come in in over two days!"

She stood up, almost knocking her chair over, "Your kidding!"

"No! Check right now! RIGHT NOW!"

Clare rushed out of her room and into the upstairs office. She jumped onto the rotating chair and typed in the Star Kirov website.

"Did you check yet?"

"No! I wanted you to see first!"

Clare anxiously scrolled her mouse around on the screen trying to find the right one, then on the list on the left side she saw "The Nutcracker/Cast List"

Her heart raced a little, as she scanned the list for her name.

"What does it say?"

Clare smiled…she was speechless.

"Clare?"

It said: Clare Edwards - Sugar Plum Fairy/Danish Marzipan Shepherdess