A/N: Maaaaaaaybe I should put both my stories on hiatus, because… well… not too motivated. My… fixation is now on Death Note. Teehee.

So yeaaaah. And it has come to my attention that I usually miss Deidara's sounds. So… point it out when I do that, please.

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Don't own Superstore.

Tobi's state of mind: Madara (childish, y'know?), thus making him older… not that Deidara knows.

Oh, and I wanted to say something else.. but I forgot... OH! This is more of a friendship thing. More of a humor thing.. :3

Grocery Shopping

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"Hurry up! We have to catch the train, un!"

"No! Sempaaaaaiiiii! Wait!" Frantic flailing and running.

Chuckling to himself, Deidara climbed up on the train and looked over his shoulder at the man.

"How the hell did you land on your face?"

"Tobi tripped."

"Get your ass in here and don't talk in third person, yeah!"

"Sorry, sempai."

The two men, clad in villager clothing save for a blinding orange mask and black leather gloves, shuffled to the back of the train and sat down.

"Take that damned thing off, un!"

"Then take your gloves off!"

"You!"

"No y-" A quick smack to the head caused the older to wail.

"Fine…" He stubbornly took off the mask. Long black hair tumbled downwards as the mask was lifted off.

"Now, un, we don't stand…" The blue eyed man looked at the other passengers, who were very bravely staring right at the two.

"Well, fuck you!" He flipped them all off. Some rolled their eyes and some shrunk back, to Deidara's pleasure.

"Tobi thinks…"

"Tobi… what did I say about that, yeah?"

"Okay, Blond-Bimbo, I think we should get lots of candy and coffee. Let's ignore the budget and…." He turned to the gaping Deidara.

"W-what did you call me?"

"Sempai!" Two arms immediately shielded a panicked face, expecting to be hit.

Nothing but silence.

Accepting this, Tobi lowered his arms and stared at his sempai. The blond was currently observing the outside world.

"Deidara-sempai…" He poked said blond in the shoulder a couple times. When all he received was more silence, he turned and looked out his own window.

After two hours, the train came to a halt. Most of the passengers filed out, including the Akatsuki pair.

"Sempai?" He slouched a bit to be at Deidara's level. Unfortunately, he was on Deidara's left side, so he only saw the boy's hair. He moved his hand to lift the hair out of the way, but Deidara's gloved hand smacked his away.

Tobi left it at that.

Once they entered Superstore, the two went towards the bread section. After a couple of failed attempt to get Deidara to even grunt at him, Tobi felt dispirited. He didn't feel like skipping through the store like he had planned.

Once they reached the dairy section, Tobi eyed the eggs. Deidara was busy picking up two percent milk (because skimmed milk tasted like shit) and didn't notice the raven haired man head over to the frozen food section.

Deidara sighed to himself. Too quiet. He'd have to speak to Tobi soon, or he'd snap.

"Seeeeempaaaaaiiii!"

Deciding to acknowledge the man's existence, he turned towards the voice.

SPLAT!

"TOBI! I'm going to fucking KILL you!"

"AGH!" Deidara clawed at the blueberry pie in his eyes and immediately jumped Tobi.

"Sempai! OW! OW! OW! That HURTS!!"

"Stupid bastard, yeah! You killed my hair!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Tobi, you are fucking dead, un! DEAD!"

"HEY!"

The Spartan warrior shinobi took the time to look up at the security guard.

"Who the fuck are you? There aren't any security guards at the store!"

"I'll have to ask you two to leave."

"But-"

"Now."

"Fine! We don't need your stupid food!"

"Sempai… we kind of…"

"Shut up!" In all of his pie-covered glory, he grabbed the groceries, Tobi and his wallet that just so happened to fall out of his pocket, and ran around the store, grabbing anything and everything he saw.

Tearing out of the store, the two partners in crime ran for their very lives, clinging to random groceries.

Needless to say, once they got home and dumped everything on the floor, they realized they had grabbed useless things.

Toy robots.

Barbie dolls.

Tampons. (And the ones that Konan didn't like)

Condoms. ("You could use those, eh, Pein-sama?" Kisame laughed.)

'Christianity for Dummies.' (Hidan wasn't too pleased with this.)

Gum.

Some guy's wallet.

Two milk jugs.

And some bread.

"Stupid fucks!" Hidan jabbed Deidara in the side, blaming the blond.

"Go back and get the proper groceries!" Pein growled.

Deidara gave a sheepish smile. "Uh… Yeah… about that."

"What?"

"We are… a teensy bit banned from the store… un."

Kisame was glad that he wasn't them.

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A/N: REVIEW! I'll get Konan to go all PMS on you!

Konan: … I was only mentioned once… and I was mention in the brackets…

KK: Too bad!