A/N disclaimer dont own twilight:D

guys heres what u all have been waiting for his explaination woooo! sorry its a day late

any way please read and review as always ,and PS im really sorry about my grammer or spelling errors i really do try hard with it ....kk i read this one over twice now so please if i have messed up with errors i am terribly sorry

xxxxxxx

chapter five --a few hometruths and a tree

I can not believe I actually agreed to meeting my teacher outside of school I must be mad!.

Oh well ,I happening now I can't just not turn I get it over and done with ,maybe we could just get back to normal ,well as normal as possible.

Although the problem is the that I have been lusting after him ever since he got here,and him kissing him just made it worst.

Actually the worst part is that in years to come when im doing god's know what with my life and I think back to my first kiss and I'll remember it not as with my boyfriend or someone my own age,but with my english teacher, great thats such a party story .

Though I really hated not beinging able to tell Alice today what was going on ,she thought I had been mad at her .I wasn't I was just too wrapped up in my own little thoughts about what was going to happen.

I mean after tonight I will have to tell someone.I hope she can keep a secret and that she understands.I know theres nothing really to tell it's not like he feels the same way was just a stupid I need to get the burden of this off my chest to someone and unfortunately for Alice Im chosing her.

I finally reached the park. I came here early I decided to carry on with my normal routine so I would hopefully find this all less strange.

Parking near the wooded area.I got out blanket and Wuthering Heights in hand and made my way to my tree,my spot,my haven.

Carrying on as normal,I laid the blanket down at its roots and collasped into the tree's settled I decided it would be a good idea to listening to some music .clam my nerves..hopefully.Shoving my earphones into my ears,I grabbed my Wuthering Heights and settle into where I had left off in the book.

Not before long I realized that I had thrown myself too much into the twisted lovestory that was cathy and heathcliff ,As the sky was now darkening.

I was starting to feel the nerves bundle up inside of me.I knew he was arriving soon to meet me just a few feet away from here.I felt my legs starting to shake ,I couldnt keep heart was bounding out of its chest. I could feel the sweat starting to form in the palms of my hand and on the back of my neck.

I pushed myself up,deciding I couldn't sit still for any with that I rolled my by blanket and collected my ipod and novel shoving them into my bag.I swung my bag over my shoulder and proceeded to walk down nearer the childrems playground.

As I got closer ,I realized her was already there and he had Nessie with him,Great at least people won't think there's something going on between us.

Unless the ladies gossip club seems to stroll through here see us together,and then the next thing you know I have a secret love child to my high school thats what happens to women here in Forks they seem to have extra imagination,I guess it because real life here is utterly boring.

Once I reached the gate of the playground I realized no other parent or child was here.I guess he timed it well,most families would be home eating dinner right now in Forks ,yes thats right we even have a set dinner time that every person seems to unknowingly follow.

When I entered the playground I looked up to see that Mr cullen was even more beautiful at night the way the darkness greeted his pale skin it was like it welcomed another star to shine throughout the darkness.

Then I heard the most beautiful giggle that ever had grace me ;it was was beaming and giggling whilst edward pushed her back and forth on the this child was so dazzling,just like her dad.

I saw that edward was now looking up at me beaming me the exact same smile that Ness was carrying on her chubby little cheeks.

"Bella" he I walked towards him closing the distance between us.

"Hello back" I laughed.

I stared at his face seeing that he had turned quite serious .huh I guess he just wanted to get the explaination over with.

"I am so glad you came,I was worried that you might change your mind,but I do want to say that it was at my own fault that ,that even happened last night I don't know what came over me,I have been so over the place lately with my marriage and ness ....it just....I mean ......you probably dont care about any thing that is happening with I beg of you please do not turn me into the police ,I need my job I love my job its the one thing I have that I love and that means something to me besides my daugher" he rambled.

His eyes had not left mine,as he continued to push Nessie on the swings,the little thing was obivlion to what was going on with her fathers emotional outbreak

"Edward please do not think that I would turn you into the police,I have noticed that you havent been yourself over the past couple of days,I could see that you were in pain,and i felt helpless that I couldnt do anything to help you .I know your my teacher and that but I do care about whats happening and I will listen to what ever you have to say"I said.

I turned my attention to nessie now .As Edward had stopped pushing her in the middle of my little speech,actually he was just standing there saying nothing.I crouched down to bring myself to her level and began to push her back and forth.

"Hi,little Nessie,aren't you cute in that little dress huh"I cooed.

She giggled as she put her little hand over mine and squeezed it tightly.

I continued to talk to her ,

"Nessie do you think your daddy looks a bit stupid ,cause I think he does,hes not even talking"I giggled.

All of a sudden she responed,I didn't even know she could talk!.

"UP UP!" she shouted at waved her little arms in the air waiting to be lifted."UP"

I lifted her out of the swing and carried her above my head bouncing her up and down in the air,it was a little trick I learnt where you just move your arms up and down the baby's sides to make the baby bounce.

She was giggling now,I brought her down and held her little body in my arms.

I turned around to see Edward looking lovingly at Ness and started to walk towards us as me playing crazy bouncing games had brought me half way across the park.I noticed a bench at the edge of the park so I decided to sit down as I was feeling a little bit dizzy.

Edward had joined me a few minutes later he continued to say nothing he just watch me.I think he was debating in his head to tell me what was wrong with him or not with me being his student and the thing was I didn't feel like his student right now I felt like we were normal people that there were no titles constricting us from being open and real with each other.

By now Nessie was tired out and she had snuggled herself back into the knook of my arm,It was like that little space was made for her.

Finally he spoke,he didnt look at me he only looked down at the little angel placed in his arms.

"This is the reason why I kissed you .The way you are with her,Its like you love her already.I could just tell you care for 's like my own little world and the tenderness I saw in your eyes when you are with her overwelmed me so 's like you could be her mother I know you have been with her for only two days,but you have shown her more love than her own mother has ever given her"

I sat there shocked as I rocked Nessie back and this the reason why he's not happy the reason why he corrected himself when he said happily married,because his wife didn't care for her own daughter,how could that be?.How could anyone not love this little angel she was perfect in every way.

"What do you mean....I dont....I dont understand how could someone not love HER!,her own mother its not right what has this little girl ever have done to your wife" I shouted.

"She was born " he whispered back,

"My wife jane never wanted children,but I did ,and when she fell pregnant, she was going to abort the child and never tell me ,but when I had found the test in the trash ,I confronted her about it.I told her that our marriage was over if she aborted our own said she didnt want to lose me but in reality I knew she didnt want to lose the trust fund my family had gave when Nessie was born she said she didnt want nothing to do with her,and that I should take care of her and that I was lucky she hadnt of just aborted I never see Jane she is always away on business and then when she comes back all we do it argue about Nessie,she says that I don't care about her and that im only interested in Ness"

I sat there saying nothing I can not believe what he had just told me .It was like all his feelings he had bottled up he just let out .It was nice to understand his emotions right now.I knew that he had kissed me because he was just all over the place emotionally,and that I cared for Ness-I did care for her I seemed to have an automatic liking to children.

"Edward im soo sorry...I..... just don't know what to say except that you are a wonderful father and if your wife doesnt care about her well thats her loss,because this little girl is like a little shining light and I would count myself lucky if I were ever bless with a daughter like her"I replied.

"Bella I really dont know what to say or do any more whats right whats 's like a my thoughts and decisions are misty and clouded ,I just dont know what to think"he sighed.

I looked down to see that Nessie was fast asleep by now her little mouth hanging open ,gasping for air.

"Well I can't help you on this one Mr cullen...I mean Edward .sorry,But what I can help you on is getting this little one to the car and to bed"

I saw that Edward was already standing,so I lifted my body off the bench collected my bag whilst making sure that I didnt wake her.

We walked closer this time there was no one about I made sure of it,This was like my own sick little family ,well in my fanasty worldanyway.what I cant have this in real life so im gonna daydream that I do!.

We didn't talk to each other we just walked side by side,every now and then we looked around to make sure no one had popped out of no Edward would stroke my hair back from my face,and everytime he did my skin felt like it was being brought to life as if it was never truely alive until he touched was like an electric current flowing through my body it was exciting ,it brought butterflies to my smotach just knowing that even that small touch was forbidden in some ways.

Then there it was my body was now set alight ,truely alive and beaming ,I felt the heat rushing to my face,and the grin spearding across my face.I was blushing and I did care. I could feel his arm around my waist pulling me in close,it was the most amazing feeling it sent shivers down my back .

This was perfect Ness sleeping in my arms and edward close to me.I could smell the intoxicating scent reeling off his body,I buried my face in his arm filling myself up on his glorious odour.

I knew this would end in seconds I saw his car ahead of us.I sighed knowing that my craddling arms would be left empty and his scent and this warmness that surrounded my body would fade quickly . I would be left alone,without him ,without her.

Seening as Edward had now stopped in front of that's when I realized ,this was going to end so much sooner than I wanted it too.

"Bella,I know its late and Nessie is sleeping ,but I also know that you have probably missed dinner twice now because of I was wondering would you like to join me for something to eat I live a bit further out from here and no one will realized who either of us are. Though I was hoping that you would let me to take you to dinner as I never really thank you for finding Ness"

"umm sure I guess that would be ok,as a thank you I mean ,but if you wouldn't mind finding somewhere we can eat where we aren't going to run into anyone,this would be awkward to explain" I muttered back.

He reached over taking Nessie out of my arms and placing her in the back of his car.I walked over to join them wrapping my blanket yet again around her little body.

"You know you really should invest in a blanket for your car if you're are going to forget one everytime you leave the house with her"I chuckled.

"It probably would be the sensible thing to do,but I knew you would be here with one so who needs one when I have you "he joked, as he opened the passengers door for me.

I slide in hoping that my truck would be here when I returned.I text Charlie telling him that I had left soup in a pot for him and that I would be back soon as I was at alices as she was having "girl problems".I knew that that text would keep him from phoning Alice's house to check on me.

Edward had now joined me in the car,I just kept watching him when he was driving and it was taking all my effort not to kiss him or hold his hand .I breathed deeply knowing that any move that was going to be made had to be done by him,the ball was in his court.

Though I don't even know whats happening now with us...wait A minute did I just say us?...I think I have been spending to much time in my fanasty world .

I looked around and realized that we had stopped oputside a little diner off the highway .strange I didnt even see the time pass,and It probably wasnt a good sign that I was silent for the whole time.I han't even seen that Nessie was awake ,because her and edward were now standing infront of my now open door.

"Bella,do you want to eat or would you like me and ness give you some space so you can continue to dream off into space"

Isaw that the smile and expression on his face was much lighter now happier.

I hopped out of the car and made my way to the diners entrance;I was holding Nessie now,as soon as I was out of the car her little arms clung the air reaching out to me.

Edward stopped me outside the diner before I even had a chance to even get near the door,

"I say we play a little game called happy family dont you Ness?"he chuckled staring at a giggling Nessie.

"Wait what ?" I looked at him blankely- confuzed.

"Well bella your husband is hungry and so is your daughter so lets get a move on shall we"he laughed whilst grabbing my waist pulling me and Ness along with him into the diner.

Huh this was going to be fun....right?....I guess we shall see.

now review come on five more please ...I know I have been getting lots of reviews and this is amazing so i thank you

again this chapter so didnt end the way i wanted it too...but I have half of the next chapter written....do u think edward will change once janes' back.....umm?

i hope you all dont hate me for making jane his wife i didnt want tanya she always is and then i was going to make up my own character but then i decide against it because i thought it should be someone from the saga...so do u think i made a bad move on that part?

also i hope u got that edward was overwelmed by bella with ness and it lead him to kiss her...its like all this has open him up to her beauty .....hopefully it came across like that...anyway

review and u shall see btw that was a teaser if u caught on lol

xxxxxxxxlove u all xxxxxxx