a/n disclaimer I don't own twilight :D

anyway heres the next chapter ....im a bit sad that my last chapter didn't even get that many reviews usually im flooding with them...so i hope i get a few more for this...because im only writing bewcause im loyal but as i said i get encouraged by reviews sooo please review and tell me what you think.......are u ready for assward?LOL

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

chapter eight-tears for my fears.

"Bella because Jane's back and she's sitting downstairs,I dont think she'll take to kindly to see me fucking my student do you?he whispered now.

My tears were flowing freely down my face.I can't believe I have gotten myself into this ...why? .I knew I would hit myself did I think that me and Edward could wake up surrounded by bliss of what had just happened last night.

"Bella get your clothes on now!!!...hurry the fuck up!"he shouted at me,whilst shoving all the petals into a trash can.I felt so cheap.

I pullled on my jeans,as I watched him run about the room making the bed and shoving the candles into the evidence I grabbed my bag collecting my underwear shoving them into my duffle bag.

"What do I do now edward!!!!!!.climb down the drain pipe of a three floor house"I sneered.

I so didn't deserve to be treated this way!.The tears were still freely falling down my face I was upset but I couldn't break into pieces letting him know that he had this effect on me ,I wouldn't I had to be strong so to quote my mother "speak your mind hide your feelings".well in front of a man anyway.

"Yeah sure Bella lets have you climb down a drain pipe,because no one would be able to see you climbing down the side of my house,plus your so clumsy that you could seriously hurt yourself!now bbefore jane comes running up here to see what the noise is I want you to hide in the closet until I come and get you is that understood?"he questioned me.

"Edward I .......Im not clumsy !......Ican't believe this is happening all those things you said were lies....do you realize that in doing this you have made me feel so worthless ...it hurts!!....but what ever where im i to hide in your closet like the rest of ur dirt...I hope imn not greeted by any other teenage girls once I enter"I scoffed.

I walked toward the closetr opening the door throwing my bag on the inside.

"Edward go you wouldn't want that darling wife to get worried now would we,But I swear you better come back and get me before I go and introduce my self to the infamous Jane".

Before he could even speak to me I stepped into the closet closing the door behind me,throwing myself on the floor.

Sitting on the floor,I pressed my ear up against the door.I heard him sigh as his footsteps carried him towards the door ,hearing a bang I realized he was gone.

I let the silent sobs rip through my chest,I felt myself breaking into pieces and I just wasn't able to put myself back together this had hurt and confuzed me too much.I just don't understand him its like he is completly two different people.

The Edward I cared for was the sweet Edward who looked at me with so much love who kissed me tenderly on the neck the compassionate then there was this Edward who made his appearance this morning ,this edward was differne the was mean,rude and treated me like utter crap.I hated this Edward ,or as I will now call him assward.

Grabbing my bag I pulled it onto my lap ,searching until I found my the buds into my ears I sighed resting my head on the wall,letting the music flow through me.

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did.

......


Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

********

I awoke to someone shaking me.

"Bella Bella love,you need to wake up you need to go home" the velvet voice whispered.

I closed my eyes tighter I just wanted to sleep ,make this whole situation go away ,dream it the voice continued to plead with me.I pushed open my eyes to see edward kneeling beside what Edward it was,is a different matter,I think its the Edward I love as he was being sweet to me. wait what did I just say love thats soo silly I couldn't love him.... I couldn't.... could I?.

shaking my head I got up grabbing my bag,as I pushed past I was waslking towards the door I heard edward call me.

"Bella?"I spun around to greet him,realizing that he was right behind me.I looked at the floor knoweing that if I looked into his eyes I would be losted and I didnt need that right now.I was mad at him and myslef.

he spoke again"Bella?".

I felt his finger tips graze my chin as he lifted my face so my eyes could meet arm wound around my waist pulling me into his body,even though I was hurt and hated him ,I still wanted him.

I closed my eyes feeling his breathe brush across my face I sighed inhaling his wonderful scent as he close the distance between our lips.

Wait no! don't do this to your self again back away and leave,agreeing with my head for once i pushed him away pullin his arm away from me.

"No Edward you can't have your cake and eat it too,I will not let you treat me like that or talk to me like that,I may not be worth much but I deserve more than dont even try and explain all I want to know is she gone "

he nodded .I headed toward the door ,opening it I made my way down the hallway.I heard him shout behind me"your trucks outside the gates" he knew not even to follow me knowing i was right in everything I had said.

As I made my way down the driveway of the house I sniffled back the tears I promised myself I wouldn't cry ,not now.

Once I reached my truck finally,I got in and just let the tears run down my sobbing was becoming uncontrolable I had no one to talk too.I need to tell someone and just have them listen and understand this fucked up situation.

Pulling up the driveway of my own house .I had decided that I would tell Alice everything she would understand ,thats what best friend were there for not to judge and love you no matter what like a marriage..... kinda of.

closing my door Imade my way up into the house lifting the house phone with me.I dailed Alice's number hoping she would be there...well praying actually.

she answered..yes!

"Alice can you come over to mine ...actually can you stay I need someone to talk too...I have to tell you something"

"Bell's is everything ok?it isn't Charlie is it?"she asked I could tell she was concerned.

"No of course not ,he's fine he's actually away at the moment "

"Im coming over now Bells and im bringing ice cream and tissues I have the feeling you will need them"

"Thanks Alice,I just dont know what to do anymore my life is soo twisted and screwed up"I mumbled as yet another round of sobs broke away from my chest.

"Bella i'll be there in five everything will be fine I promise you it will be fine,im gonna be here for you whatever happens"she said

"Ok then i'll see you in five thank you alyboo"

"Your welcomes bellaboo"

With that she hung up I made my way upstairs into my room quickly lifting my sweat as I headed towards the bathroom.I ran the shower hoping that it would calm me down.

That was a failed attempt on my part it didn't , slipping into my sweats I tied my hair back and made my way back to my room.

I was thankful to see Alice already sitting on my bed with icecream and two spoons in hand.I rushed over hugging her little frame,I just let the tears flow not letting them hold back about ten minutes Alice finally spoke

"Bella your crushing me and im no good crushed now am I?"she chuckled.

"Sorry.....,but its just all I have done is cry and its killing me ,Alice I have done something really bad,but please you have to understand....I dont know what my excuse is for what I did"I sobbed.

"You can tell me anything bella what happened what did you do?"she asked as she held my hands in hers.

"I ....I slept with.......I slept with Edward"I whispered .

"Wait a minute who's Edward we dont know an Edward...... Bella who are you talking about"she looked confuzingly at me.

"He's ummm.....m.....mr......mr cullen.I slept with him"I stuttered.

I looked at Alice she was in shock her mouth was actually making a little circle like those shocked simely emotions.I hoped she didn.t hate me or think I was a slut for sleeping with him.

But before I knew it the little pixie was holding me in her arms,patting my hair.

"Bella but how did this all start ,I mean I know you and you dont just sleep with someone actually you have never slept with someone before".

I pulled back from alice and sighed as I started to tell her about my attraction to edward and how I would go to the park after school,until one of the days I had found nessie lost and crying and then she turned out to be edwards daughter and that he had kissed me in the park after finding her.

I told her about the note edward sent me telling me to meet him in the park and how he told me about his wife and how selfish she was.I told her about him wanting to thank me so he brought me to dinner and invited me back to the house,as charlie had phoned at dinner and he didnt want to see me alone but then when I arrived at his house we were both a bit caught up in the moment .

I continued to tell her about the night we had and how Edward had dressed the room ,but how the next morning Edward was completely different person and that I had been with as he was horrible to me .I told her about jane coming back and about me hiding in the closet.

I left the bit out about the game "happy families" as she looked shocked enough.

We had been sitting in slience for about five minutes,until I heard her speak.

"Wow bella that's really fucked up really he such a dick for treating you this way...grrr... just wait until I get my hands on him he's dead how could he have been so stupid.I mean I knew you were crushing on him thats why I always made little jokes about it.I thought it was fun to watch you storm now he's hurt you he's gone to far he should of just kept his little crush on you a secret now he's ruined everything,im so gonna kick that boys ass"she growled as I lay my head on her chest.

"Alice what are you talking about he's our teacher you just can'y go up and kick his ass,I think that against the rules,and what do you mean keep his little crush a secret ,he likes me?how do you know Alice what have you not been telling me"I asked as I pulled away from her.

"Ummm well Edward's kinda of my older brother"she whispered.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

please review im gonna update tomorrow....so enjoy please review and u will get the next one tomorrow i promise

i love u all ...... all the favorites im gettting woow!!!!!!! im really glad u like this xxxx

btw next one is a good one all i can say is bella and edward in a closet in school and lots and lots of drama!xxxx