A/N sorry ppl about how crap I have been with updates I got my gcse's results and then I switched schools and I already HAVE tons of coursework, I felt so bad I had written half of this in school................ sorry again.
And thank u again to my beautiful beta twilightnaley19 for being so understanding for this chapter's lateness and my crappy mess I gave it to her in! Lol thank u all I'm so sorry.
xxxxxx hope u enjoy its extra ANGST FOR YA! PROMISE!
Chapter Fourteen
Pregnant and screwed.
I'm pregnant me Bella Swan the chief's daughter all around good girl. I'm 17 and pregnant, pregnant with my teacher's baby not some spotted faced teenager the same age as me, my 28 year old teacher who's married already with a kid of his own. I'm pregnant and it's with my best friend's brother.
I was having an affair it didn't seem real or like reality. It was like living the life of some angsty teenage romance novel, I felt dirty, used and unclean.
Tears were rushing, down my face as they slid down my raw reddened skin.
Pushing myself along the floor, I hauled my body up to open the door, I couldn't even pick myself up off the floor to stand I belonged here I thought, as I crawled against the rough wooden floor feeling my salty tears burning my eyes.
Fisting my duvet I pulled my self onto my bed. Sobbing into my pillow I had no one but myself and this person this unwanted little thing growing inside of me, I couldn't tell anyone ,I knew I would have to tell Edward but no one else. I couldn't face the shame but I guess that's what I deserve for being a stupid little home wrecker.
Pushing my face deeper into the now soaking wet material I came to the realization that everyone would eventually find out, and I would be that pregnant girl that everyone whispered about as she walked past, I would lose friends, I would lose everything, my life, my chance to escape here the one thing I tried so hard to not to get caught up in, I fell into it with-out even knowing.
I forced my hand in front of me as my fingertips searched for my phone, I clasped my shaking hands around the phone fumbling for the buttons I needed. Pushing in his number I raised the now trembling phone to my ear. My breathing was ragged with every cry my chest seemed to fight out a breath.
Then there it was his velvety voice answering on the other end, my heart still raced at the sound.
"Bella?"
But I couldn't speak my mind was screaming, shouting at me to just spit it out to tell him but no words would come out, I couldn't say it. I let the sound of my heartbreaking sobs release down the phone, flowing freely there was no point this time I couldn't build a wall to block out these feelings....I was fucked..We both were.
"Bella god damn it tell me what's wrong!" he yelled as I heard his fist hit something in the background.
"Are you okay? Has someone done something to you?" he asked now frantic and worried.
"Are you at home?" he questioned.
Before I could even finish my muttered yes the line went dead.
I figured he would be over soon and I would have to explain to tell him, I knew this would change everything between us, I hoped and wished as I sobbed that he wouldn't just abandon me, I mean he had been understanding about Jane, but we are different we aren't married, I was just his mistress.
I hauled myself out of bed and along to the bathroom I knew I couldn't tell him but I would make myself do it. I wasn't going to wimp out of this, it was both our problem, I decided to just show him the test and just hoped he would connect the dots.
As I thought about it, it was a smart enough plan despite it being a tad tacky and lame.
I walked downstairs and started preparing myself for the worst; I needed to build walls to protect myself.
But by now I couldn't even hear the sobs erupting from my chest, the only fact I knew I was still crying was the streams rolling down my neck and trailing along my collarbone.
I tapped the test against my fingers as I paced down the hallway, looking in the mirror I didn't even recognize the girl standing in front of me as I wondered how he would react.
I bunched the front of my hair back, as my back slid down the wall and just sat there staring not even thinking or worrying for this moment I felt lifeless.
Hearing tires on the gravel driveway, I felt the nerves bundling in my stomach, I wished it was easier that I could of just spent this weekend alone with Edward, but it wasn't as this was real life and I had utterly and royally fucked up.
I shut my eyes, afraid of what was going to happen I couldn't lose him. I loved him to much, so much that I was almost painful. I had to tell him I didn't want to be like Jane and hide this fact that I was carrying his child, or even worse get rid of it all together and never tell him.
Things might work out for the best I tried to tell myself. But who was I kidding did I really believe that everyone gets a happily ever after, that Edward would ride up on a big white horse come rescue me and we would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after...but we weren't and I wasn't six anymore.
As I felt the front door drag across the floor, my heart beat quicken as the weight of the test on my lap suddenly felt like a ton of bricks falling against my legs.
I heard his footsteps coming across the creaking floorboard towards me, he didn't speak.
I shut my eyes I couldn't bear to look at him, feeling his hands graze my cheek I sighed, placing my hand over his as the tears ran over his fingertips.
"Bella open your eyes." he whispered.
Slowly opening my eyes I saw him, looking confused, and his sad green eyes bore into mine.
"Edward...I'm.....Edward." I stutter, but I couldn't speak, I couldn't find the proper words. Before I muttered my second attempted sentence his lips silenced mine.
My lips desperately met his as my hands found his hair grasping at his roots forcing him closer because right now this was all I needed, this one last kiss before he would before he would ...leave.
But I had to stop to tell him, but I couldn't the feel of his hot breath on my lips, his icy hands leaving small shivering trails on the small of my back, this was my safe haven. I let a moan escape my lips as his teeth grazed my bottom lip. Sighing I pulled back before we could take this even further.
"Edward we need to stop." I sobbed.
"I have to tell...you I'm...I'm.....just look!" I said, pushing the test against his chest, my eyes shot down to the floor not daring to look at him.
But I needed to know what was happening, I peered through my eyelashes seeing that his face was in shock and his eyes had darkened black from the shock. His body was now slumped against the stairs, the test still in hand sitting limply at his side. I just stared at him waiting for some kind of reaction and waiting for him to speak, just something on his part but nothing came. He just stared straight ahead of him his eyes glazed over his head low and his brow furrowed.
"Bella.....I..." he whispered, unable to finish his sentence.
I felt the pain rising within me already, he was going to leave breaking my heart in the process. I could feel the tears forming already. I wouldn't cry, I wanted to make him leave, not to have him walk out on me, but I just didn't have the strength to do it.
My eyes met his this time and we just sat there staring at the test saying nothing not moving, or anything.
"Bella ...I can't do this not now I just can't." he whispered.
I can't believe he thinks he has it bad, there was always a possibility of this happening it takes two to tango and all that, I could feel my old self coming back now, I have hidden her away for so long I forgot most of my own morals, myself basically, I knew my heart was breaking right now at him leaving but I wouldn't let him see that, he needed to leave now.
"You can't? You can't Edward I'm the one who's life is ruined I'm the one who's 17 and pregnant I'm the one who will be known as a little home wrecker and you think you cant!" I yelled, angrily now.
"Just listen to me Bella please, I'm your teacher, I'm married for now and I have Ness I just need you to understand please for me!" He begged.
"You should of thought of all of that before you fucked your underage student, yes you're married, you're perverted, and this is all your fault as much as it is mine." I said now standing facing him as I glanced down at my stomach.
"Please, I just need some time away from you from it all from this whole horrible situation, I knew this was a mistake from the beginning I just couldn't control myself it was stupid and wrong I'm sorry." he said, reaching to hold my hand I snatched my hand back, how dare he try that does he not even realize what he's saying that I was a regretted mistake.
"Edward leave just go, I always knew this would happen I can't depend on no one but myself, never could never will and I was foolish to ever think otherwise about you ...you're just like the rest of them now get out of my house! NOW!!!" I screamed, he needed to leave, before I would breakdown and do something I would regret.
"I love you Bella....that hasn't changed." He whispered as he headed towards the door.
"Go leave and go back to your darling wife, go fuck her because you certainly won't be fucking me!" I yelled as I slammed the door behind him.
As I heard the tires hit against the gravel and onto the road I let the tears flow, I was proud of myself, for shouting back for letting all the pent up anger and worries in me out. I ran upstairs not wanting to stay here anymore Charlie wouldn't be back until Monday.
Charlie ..., I had no idea how to tell him, I couldn't he would go nuclear especially when he finds out its Edward's baby, I winced at the thought.
Grabbing my already packed duffel bag I headed down stairs and out to my truck. I had no idea where I was going, where I was staying or what I was doing, all I knew is that I had to leave now.
As I drove down the highway I realized I didn't know where to go or what to do, I had no one, no one but myself.
Snapping out of my daydream I was suddenly aware that I had no clue were I was going, but everything strangely looked familiar almost too familiar. Then I remembered, Tristan, this is where he lived we hadn't talked in about five years, I can't believe I had forgotten about this place. It was classic American suburban type house with white front porch, blue shutters, hanging baskets, and I forgot how much I had missed this place.
Taking a deep breath I walked towards his door I didn't know whether he would hug me, or tell me to leave or worst of all not remember me at all ,his best friend..... Well ex best friend. But before I could even pluck up the courage to rap the door I heard my name being called and as I turned I hoped Edward hadn't followed me here.
Turning around at that point, I realized it wasn't Edward it was…
Tristan.
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Please review kk I know I don't deserve them for not updating in ages but plz review. Reviews will help motivate me to write another chapter if I get enough review there will be a chapter up on tomorrow.......no Sunday ...wait why are my words changing who is this??
Edward: it's Edward and who the hell is this Tristan guy and why haven't I heard of him before???!
Lauren: look you didn't man up and be there for her now go on back to Jane, Bella and I are both mad at you ..Grrr
Edward: I know… I know I messed up please tell me where she is!
Lauren: nope this is your fault and now ur going to have to deal with the consequences of my new plot twister Tristan muah muah muah muah muah.
Edward: fine I'm now with holding right to lemons involving me until you tell me where Bella is!
Lauren: whatever no lemons for you…but that doesn't mean anything about Tristan and Bella…hahaha now get out of my head before I do something u will regret.
Edward: thanks for me making me look like a prick.
Lauren: as always Edward it was my pleasure!
So I know I have gone insane but oh well sometimes that's fun!
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