hey party people, what's the happy happens? i know i'm not updating like i should but cut me some slack pple. i have no beta, and i kinda don't feel like rereading all my chapters to just beta it myself. if you read it as many times as i have, you'll get why. plus i am doing better than other people who don't update so long, they forget they have them. but i would never do that b/c i'm excited for the end.

ok, so i wanted to update a few days ago but i wanted to make some changes first and my internet didn't want to work. (maybe someone's trying to tell me something about this ff...nah)

i wanted to update to talk about the MTV MOVIE AWARDS! SO AWESOME. alright, first things first, who saw the trailer for Breaking Dawn?('HAND RISE'; ME, ME I DID, I DID.) you guys saw the part when Edward broke the bed broad. the whole thing collapsed. it was hoawesome (when neither hot or awesome isn't enough.) BTW, was that Jacob Edward threw against the wall? (puzzled) and they better do the feather scene right, or i will not be happy. 2nd. the best kiss award. was i the only one who found that R. Pat and Taylor L. make out section so fricking hott. no hoawesome? (bbtw, Jacob should totally won that. it was way hotter that the Edward kiss. just my option.). last thing, the award for Rees Whiterspoon. lol, Robert was spazzing out on that part. and apparently, he's a motherf***er. and his own. was i the only one who found that a little weird. guess so. speaking of weird. at the beginning, when the host said he lost Taylor and (forget her name) told him to and quote 'find that sweet piece of ass' it is a good thing he is 19, or that would have been a a little weird too.

XD, okay i'm done ranting about the movie awards. i know it was a few days ago, but i wanted to get my thoughts out there. so enough of me and on to chp 17. (warning: this chapter is not for people under 17 b/c there is a lemon in this and unlike the last one, its a little longer.) enjoy. :)

17. Stories

We were in a dark room. I can't see anything. this wasn't like the last time I was in dark room. I knew Edward was with me. I felt his arms around me. I could tell his arms from anyone else. Plus I could smell his scent.

We were both breathing hard. We just got finished running, so I wasn't surprised. I looked around to find his face. I needed to see him.

He walked around to me. now I could see his face. I could see it clearly. he looked at me with worried eyes. He looked towards where we came from. "Stand against the wall." He said as he pushed me against it.

"Edward. I'm scared." I admitted.

"I know. But you don't have to be. I'm here with you."

"What if they find us?" I asked. I was crying at this point.

"They weren't" he promised.

"Edward, we've been running for a week. They're bond to get us." I cried.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me again. "Shh, shh they weren't, I promise. You have to trust me. I won't let anything happen to us." He patted my back. I cried in to his shirt. We heard steps and yelling.

"Bella, you have to stop crying."

"I can't. I'm so scared. I don't think I can do this." I cried hard.

He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me in the eyes. He gave me a light shake. "Bella, don't do that. we have to keep going." I looked away. "Look at me." I did what he said. "We have to keep going." he repeated. I nodded. "Now, do you trust me?" he asked.

How could he ask me that? I trusted him with my life. Which explains this situation perfectly since we were running for our live. "Of course I do."

"Good. So please come with me." he begged. I nodded. He pressed his lips against mine. I felt like he wasn't trusting his words. In his kiss, he felt just as scared as me.

"I'm so scared." I said again.

He sighed. "I know. Me too." He admitted. He grabbed my hand again. "Come on."

Just then we heard a door open. We both look towards the direction. We saw a bright light. Then a group of large men stepped into it. "Freeze. Step away from the girl." Someone yelled.

Edward turned back to me. "Run." Was all he said, more like yelled. I held on to his hand tightly so he would come with me when I started running. I tried to run away as fast as I could but I got stopped.

I heard gun shots.

I closed my eyes and my body shook with each one.

My eyes popped opened at the sound of ringing. I looked around to see I was in his room. I looked at him to see he was sound asleep.

I turned to the ceiling and stared. I hated that fucking dream. I've been having that dream for a while now. sometimes it starts where it did and other, it starts of with us running. I never got pass the gun shots through. I never find out whose getting shot.

I don't even know what means. That we're running from something?

Each time something always wakes me up. This time it was my phone. I looked at his clock before getting it. It was nine in the morning.

I only knew one person who would be up at this time on a Saturday morning.

I reached over to get it and saw her name flashing. Alice. I flipped it open. Luckily it was just a text.

Going to Port Angeles, need anything? of course that's was where she was going. Only Alice would wake up on a Saturday to go shopping. I typed what I needed. Really? O…k. what kind? She text back. I text her my answer again. Really? Ok, I'll see what I can do. tell him I said hi.

I closed the phone and laid back on the bed. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I never do after I had that dream. I was too afraid of what I would see next if I did. I don't know if he got shot or if I did or if neither of us did. I don't know and I don't care. I just didn't want to see it.

I didn't want to go back to sleep, but I found myself drifting off.

The dream started over. We were running as fast as we could. we were holding on to each others hand like our life demanded it, which it probably did. We looked behind us every few feet. Then we were in the dark room again.

"Bella, stand against the wall." He said giving me a light push.

"Edward, I'm scared." I breathed heavily.

"I know but you have to trust me. we're going to get through this."

I shook my head. "No. they going to find us." I started crying.

He grabbed my shoulder and gave me a light shake. "Bella. you have to stop crying. We're going to get through this. Please trust me. Can you do that for me?"

How could he ask me that? I trusted him with my life. Which explains this situation perfectly since we were running for our live. "Of course I do."

"Good. So please come with me." he begged. I nodded.

He pressed his lips against mine. I felt like he didn't trust his words. In his kiss, he felt just as scared as me. "We have to go." I nodded again

"I'm so scared." I said again.

He sighed. "I know, me too." He admitted. He grabbed my hand again. "Come on."

Just then we heard a door open. We both look towards the direction. We saw a bright light. Then a group of large men stepped into it. "Freeze." Someone yelled.

I hear gun shots.

I closed my eyes and my body shook with each one.

I was woken up again. This time it was by a very loud yawn. Because of the light beaming through the window, I had to squint to look his way.

He stretched as he sat up. He look me way. "Did I wake you?" he said a concerned tone. I guess he wanted to watch me sleep again.

I yawned as I nodded. "It's probably best you did anyways. I need to wake up." I said with more truth than I lead on. That dream was really bothering me. But I didn't want him to know anything about it. If only I can figure out what it supports to be telling me. What the hell are we running from and why?

I motioned to him come towards me. I wanted to kiss him but didn't feel like sitting up. He got the hint and leaned down to meet his lips with mine. I don't know what it is, but I seems like the first one of the day is always the best.

I pulled on his arm so he would lie back down next to me. I would've grabbed his shirt, if only he had one on. Every time I sleep over, he makes a habit of not putting one on; not that I complaining. When that's all I sleep in is a shirt, it evens out.

He got the hint again. He readjusted himself to lie next to me. he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my leg around his. I gave him a few more kisses because pulling back. We smiled at each other.

He flipped on his back so I was lying on his chest. He started lightly rubbing my shoulder. I love when we have moments like this. When we don't have to talk or anything. We could just sit and soak in each other.

I looked at him and he was looking at the ceiling. I could tell he was deep in thought because he had that vein above his eyebrow. I wondered what he was thinking. Did he not enjoy time like this?

"Edward, what are you thinking?" I couldn't help but ask.

He sighed but didn't make eye contact. "Different things. But most of all is when I'm going to have time to get these grades done." He admitted.

That's right, he is a teacher. I make a habit of forgetting that one minor detail. I shook my head then laid it back on his chest. "You just ruined the moment." I chuckled.

He laughed at that then kissed the side of my head. "You asked." He pointed out.

I laughed back. "You could've lie and say something deep." I told him.

He kissed my head again. "I remember that next time." He chuckled.

After that, we went back to laying in silence. I was enjoying myself until he had to break the moment again. "Babe, not that I don't absolutely love this moment, but…" he stopped, which caused me to look at him. "I would like to use the bathroom."

I got that. He had to do his morning route. I understood it but that didn't mean I wanted to let go. I sighed but did anyways. He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back as soon as possible." He promised before getting up and walking out of the room. I watched him leave all the way until I heard the water running.

I sighed as I sat up. I looked around the room for something to do. I hate to depend on him like this; but without him in it, his room was kind of boring.

Then I saw a book I left here a few weeks ago. I tend to leave a lot of things here. It might as well be my second home.

I got up and walked over to the dresser to grab it. I opened to the page I left off on as I sat in the middle of the bed.

The book was one of my favorites and yet I fold down the page each time like it's my very first time opening it. I swear, almost every other page corner had a crease in it.

I was actually happy to be some time alone to read. It seems like forever since I time to myself. I felt like I was always I'm doing something with someone else.

I was just about to turn the page again, when I heard him clear his throat. I looked up at him and that was probably the wrong thing to do. my jaw dropped.

He was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded. All he had on was his boxers. I could tell he had just gotten out the shower. his hair was a wet mess as the water dripped off the tips and down his body.

I felt myself getting weak and melting in the middle of the bed like ice cream on a hot day. I blamed him. it was his fault. He was the one who came in the room like he was supports to be posing for a playgirl calendar or something.

"Did you miss me?" he smiled at my facial expression. Did he even have to think about asking that question? I was trying so hard to keep myself under control. I breathed in through nose and out through my mouth. I was calm enough to get off the bed.

I flipped the corner of the page again. I set it on the nightstand next to my phone as I got up. I smiled as I walked over to him.

"Of course I did." I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pressed my lips to his; control lost. The very second I tasted him minty breath I knew everything I have locked down while I was sitting on the bed was now out and loose. Then I decided, screw it. I'm tire of trying to be good. Lord knows he wasn't trying to.

I jumped on him and wrapped my legs around his waist. I pulled him closer to me. I attacked his hips hungrily. When I pulled back I was breathing heavily. "Edward." I breathed.

"Yes Bella." he said in the same way.

"I need you…now." I demanded.

He smiled one of the biggest grins I have ever seen. "I was hoping you'd say that." I held on to him tightly as he ran us to the bed. He threw both of our bodies onto it so hard I felt a bounce under my back.

I didn't care; I just pulled him to me. He placed his hand on my leg, which was still wrapped around his waist, and moved it upward. He went all the way until he got under the shirt. He started removing the shirt up my body.

He sat up as he used both of his hands to take it off. Once it was out of his hands, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back to me. I didn't want him away from me. the short time he was away to take off my shirt was too long for me.

He wrapped his arms around and hugged me tightly to him. as if that was even necessary; there was no way in hell that I was going anyway. His lips traveled down to my collarbone.

I tried to catch my breathed as lips were not on mine. But it was kind difficult with my fucking heart beating at 100 mph.

I gripped his shoulders tightly as I used them as a lever to help me flip him over. he was bigger and stronger than me so it took a little strength to do so. But I did.

I fixed myself so I was on top of him. I pushed my hair out of my face as I leaned in again. I placed my hands on his chest to help give me some kind of balance. He was breathing just as hard as I was.

He moved the tip of his fingers along my spine. He stopped when he felt the fabric. He brought his other hand around and worked to undo the hooks. It did take him some time to do this. I understand that when you're trying to work on two things at once, something might not work out. But I was getting restless. I temped to just rip the damn thing off and worry about it later.

I curse the day I decided that wearing one to sleep in was the best idea. I don't feel like looking for one when I wake up nor do I feel like taking it off before going to sleep. I never understood Alice when she tells me 'it's easier to sleep without it'. Please.

But finally, they all were undone. I knew this because I felt my bra getting loose. I sat up again to remove it completely. When it was on the floor, I noticed how his eyes watched me as I breathed heavily without it.

It was his turn to pull me back to him. when he did, my hand went straight to his boxers. I hooked my fingers under the waistband on both sides and pulled.

I pulled them down as far as they would go, which wasn't very far. Ironically, I was in the way. I gave an inward groan at the thought of removing myself from him. But I had to.

I rolled off of him. that moment, we both yanked off was left – which wasn't much – as if we were in a race of some sort. The game of 'Who Can Take off the Rest of Their Clothes the Fastest.' I would be lying if I said that didn't sound interesting.

I was about to place myself back on top of him when I remembered something was missing.

I reached over to the nightstand dresser and pulled out was missing. He eyed the golden wrapped package as I held in between my fingers.

"Babe, I really don't think we need that." he breathed heavily.

My eyes popped open as I looked at him like he has completely lost his mind. I couldn't believe he would even think about that. "Edward, yes we do." I argued. I didn't care how much passion or lust filled the room, I was not going any further without some protection.

He stared at me. he looked like he was weighting the options. I know how to make this easier for him. "Edward, take this or we're not continuing." I threatened. I had all seriousness on my face but in my head, I was begging for him to take the damn condom.

Girls like to make people think we don't have a point of no return like guys. As if we can turn it on and off whenever we so damn well chose. But we can't, because we are like guys. We have a point of no return. It might be higher than the average male, but we do, we so do.

I knew he would cave sooner or later. He rolled his eyes but took it out of my hand anyways. I watched him as he put it on. I smiled when he was finally done.

I turned his head to me and kissed his lips. He let his hand rest on my waist and he came closer to me.

He rolled us over so that I was under him. his lips dropped to my neck. just then, I felt him connect with me.

He leveled himself like I did early as he began to make a motion. I felt his hips moving back and forward. I sighed happily. Was it wrong for this to feel as good – if not better – than a hot oil massage?

I allowed myself to let out soft sighs. I felt like I was getting a relief.

But something told me that wasn't good enough for him. it could the fact that he stopped kissing my neck at this point.

Then out of no way, I felt him pick up speed. As he did, his hand traveled down my leg. He stopped at my knee. He went behind it and hooked my leg around him. that made a difference that I felt instantly.

I felt my blood boiling, my eyes tighten and every inch of me shaking. I felt myself hold him closer with one hand and gripping the closest part of the sheets with my free one. I started to feel tingling through out my body.

I was going to a place where there was no coming down from. My body felt like I swallowed a bomb that was about .03 seconds away from exploring. I couldn't hold it in. I was going to… I was about to…

"OH MY GOSH, EDWARD!" I yelled as loudly as my lungs would allow me to yell. I heard what sounded like a breathless chuckle against my neck.

He deepened his movement. This made my back arch. And that didn't do anything but push myself to him more. It made another difference. I screamed through clenched teeth.

After a while, I was done with screaming. I flipped us over so that I was now top. I started thinking of something new I could do. Then it came to me.

I started moving my hips like a belly dancer. I was use to moving my hips like this. It's just, this isn't the way I thought I would be using these moves. His head tilted back in pleasure, which gave me easy access to his neck. I leaned in again and started sucking on it.

I was so glad we didn't have school tomorrow. Alice would have a fucking field day if we were both marked.

He wrapped his arms around me again and held me to him. He turned us over so he was on top again. Did I bother him that much that I was controlling him now? Stupid male ego.

Once he did that, we kept going back and forward. We were in another battle. This one was who can get the other to scream – in my case, or whatever guys do in his case – the loudest. It would be safe to say he was winning. What can I say; the guy knew how to move.

The room was spinning. It felt like we were in a tunnel of some sort that wouldn't stop revolving. I felt like I could literately feel the world turning. At one point, we almost fell off the bed.

That's what happens when you go without something for a while; you gorges.

But like every other good thing, it had to come to an end.

I laid next to him. I breathed as if I was ran around the whole damn earth. "I am so tire." I said as I pushed my hair away from my sweaty face.

"I'm right there along with you." He said. "Where did all that come from?" he asked.

I gave a light shrugged. I turned my head to see his head was turned the same way as mine. I smiled at him. I saw his face shine with sweat. I placed the back of my hand on his cheek. "I guess I just miss that touch of yours."

He gave a humored sound. He closed the distance and gave me a tired kiss. He dropped his head to the pillow.

I looked at him then realized how I felt. "Gosh, I feel so gross." I said with a disgusted face. it felt like I just went head first repeat through a slip 'n slide. But instead of water, some repulsive slime type of something replaced it. He gave another humored sound. I was starting to think that was all he was able to give.

"I'm going to take a shower." I told him as I got up. I turned and saw him laying with his eyes closed. I leaned on my hands on the bed. "Want to join me; help me rise off?" I smiled.

"Hmm… as much as I would love to. I don't think I can move enough to do that." he smiled. My smile dropped as I rolled my eyes. Not really the answer I wanted.

"Alright." I grabbed the shirt I had on from the headboard to put on. I leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I'll see you in a bit." I told him as I walked out the room to the bathroom.

I stayed in the shower for seem like hours to any outside party. I washed myself more than once. I wanted to make sure all the 'afterglow' was off of me. plus the water beating down my back was relaxing.

I could tell my muscle would be sore later on. I know some people think 'Oh you can't be that tire from that.' But it is exhausting, especially the way we were doing it. It's like any another other physical activity. If you over do it, you will feel it later.

After a while, I stop showering and just allowed the water to run. The only thing that finally pushed me out of the shower was the temperature of the water dropping.

When I got out, I realized my hair was a mess. I combed it out to the best of my abilities. After a while, I decided it was good enough so I went to brush my teeth.

When I was done, I put his shirt back on and grabbed a towel before walking back to the room. I was still trying to dry my hair when I walked into the room. I smiled at the sight I saw when I came in.

He was sleeping. I could tell because he was lightly snoring.

He didn't look like he did anything since I left. The most it looked like he did was got up to put his boxer shorts back on. And unlike before, when he was laying on his side, he was now laying on his back. His body took up half the bed.

I tossed the towel in his dirty clothes basket before walking over to him. I jumped on the bed, landing on my knees. He didn't move. I tapped him on the forehead until he slowly opened his eyes. I smiled at him when our eyes met.

"Hey there sleep head." I teased

"Hey." He said in a groggy voice. "Sorry, I must've dozed off." He pointed out the oblivious. I think I figured that out when I came in and saw your eyes closed. I leaned down to kiss his lips. "How was your shower?" he asked.

I grabbed a rubber band off his night stand. I shrugged. "Nothing special." I told him as I pulled my hair in a messy ponytail. I fixed myself so I was sitting with my legs crossed.

He yawned before saying something. "Ready for breakfast?" he asked. I looked at the clock. I laughed at the word 'breakfast'. It was sometime after eleven. It was more like 'ready for lunch'.

I looked at him then shook my head. "Not really."

He propped himself on his elbows and crooked an eyebrow at me. "You want to go again?" he said as if I was crazy for thinking that.

I laughed at him. I would've said yeah if he didn't look like he was about to break. "No." I chuckled.

His face relaxed. "Okay. what do you want to eat?" he said as he started to get up. I grabbed his arm to stop him. "What's wrong?" he asked looking at me.

"Can we just stay in bed today?" I asked innocently.

He smiled at me. "Sure, we can." He fixed himself so he was sitting against the headboard. He opened his arms to me. I moved myself into them. He hugged them tightly around my body as I leaned into him. "So…" he stopped to kiss my head. "What do you want to do?"

I brought his hand to my lips to kiss it. Then I started rubbing tiny circles on the back of it. "We can just talk."

"About what?"

I turned myself so I could see his face. "What about you?"

he gave a light chuckle. "What about me?"

I shrugged. it might be a little hard, since there was little to nothing I didn't already know. "Something you haven't told me. something you never told anyone." I smiled.

He breathed through his nose. "That involves my family." He said with a serious face.

My smile dropped. "Is there something wrong with that?" I couldn't help but ask. Did he not get along that much with his father that he couldn't even talk about it?

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply again. He slowly opened them. "No. I'll tell you. I probably should start at the beginning then."

My smile came back. I got happy that he would tell me and I wouldn't have to choke it out of him. "That probably would be best." I gave a teasing smile.

He gave my head a light push. "Okay." he sighed. "Like any other story, this one starts with my mom."

My face reacted to what he said. "Um… Edward, I know I said start from the beginning, but I think I know how you got here." I said in kind of a teasing way. I was half serious. I know I said I wanted him to talk about his family, but that was going a little too far back.

He tapped my head. "Be quiet. That is not what I meant." I laughed at his reaction. "I meant it starts off with why I'm so close to her."

"Yeah, why is that?"

He sighed. "Well, when you're the youngest out of three and the first two were twins that were just them for two years, you tend to cling to your mother." He explains.

Huh, two years older. That means that both jasper and Rosalie was twenty- five. That's kind of funny. Rosalie looked like she could pass for a year or two older. And jasper acted like he would be mistaken for a year or two younger. He and Edward could actually pass for twins. Wait, they were twins.

"Rosalie and Jasper are twins, right?" I said to be sure. He hummed yes. "But they act nothing alike." I pointed out as if I missed something.

He laughed out loud. "That's because you haven't spent that much time with them. They both can be arrogant, bossy and stubborn as hell."

I laughed at that. I could easily see all those things in Rosalie, but not in Jasper. He looked way too nice and sweet to be any of those. He couldn't be telling me the whole thing.

"You sure that's not a sibling thing?" I couldn't help but ask. It had to be something like that. I wouldn't know anything about that, but Alice complains all the time about her sister and how nosey she is. I don't see it when I'm over there. Then again, I'm only over there for a few hours.

He snorted as he shook his head. "No, trust me. It's a Jazz and Rosa thing. Sometimes they act like they share a mind or something, it gets annoying." He complained. Of course they act like they share a mind; they're twins.

Besides, I wouldn't complain too much about them if I was him. Some can say the same thing about him and Emmett; they both share a total male controlled brain. I love his part; it was Emmett's part that worried me.

"So, that's why you're so close to your mom?" I asked, realizing we got off the main point.

"No. me and my mom's relationship goes all deeper than my siblings' annoying twin crap. Since they are two years older than me, that means they started school before me. so I was with my mother for the two year. She was a stay-at-home mom; she didn't believe in daycare.

"So that means she took me every where. And when I say every where, I mean every where. It got to the point where if I wasn't with her, I'm pretty sure people would be asking where I was." he smiled at the thought.

I had to ask something. "Where was your dad?" the second I did, I realized I shouldn't. his smiled dropped and he rolled his eyes.

"It was his first year of being a doctor, so he was either working at the hospital or doing paper work." He explained with no feeling.

He should go back to talking about his mom. That made him happy. I turned myself completely so my entire body was facing him. "Tell me more about your mom." I urged him.

He smiled. "Well, she would have me right there when she was doing something. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, whatever. I was always right there. I started kindergarten when I was about five, which let out earlier than the grammar schools. So between one and three, it was just my mom and me.

"So she thought that was a great time to teach her five year son how to cook. While my siblings were learning to spell, I was learning how to mix batter." He chuckled, shaking his head. I chuckled with him. I like see him like this. He looked so happy; almost childish.

"By the time they were in seventh grade, they started joining clubs and sports and were going to school dances. I was too younger to do any of those things. The things at our school were for junior high students, meaning sixth grade and up." I nodded in understanding.

"So you were left with your mother again." I drew the conclusion. I could see the pattern.

He nodded. "That was the time she taught me how to clean."

I gave a humored smiled. "It sounds like she was trying to turn you in to her." I pointed out.

He shrugged. "I guess you can say something like that. Bottom line, we did spent a lot of time together. She became my best friend. But when I got in eighth grade, when it seemed like I needed her the most… she died." Everything about him dropped when he said the last thing. his voice, his face, his eyes from mine; everything dropped.

That made my smile drop too. I didn't want him sad. I knew that. What I didn't know was how. "Edward, I don't mean to put salt on the wound, but you never told me how she died."He sighed. I could see this was hard for him. "You don't have to tell me if you can't." I said softly, gently placing my hand over his.

He nodded. I thought that meant he wasn't going to tell me, but I was wrong. "She died in a car accident." My jaw dropped and my eyes widen. He didn't have to go on, but he did. "It was the summer my sister and brother were getting their permits.

"My sister and mother were going somewhere, I don't remember where. Something jumped in front of the car; Rosa swerved and hit a tree. Without her having her seat belt on, the impact was too hard; snapped my mother's neck." He told the whole thing in short terms and in such a dry and dead voice. I felt my breathe getting caught. I was on the verge of crying like she was my mother.

Then I understood. That's why he was so stress the night Emmett was in the hospital. Even though he was just fine, it made Edward flashback to when his mother died. And I could see why.

I saw he was doing the same. He looked like he didn't want to cry in front of me. I couldn't take it. I threw my arms around him and pulled him a tight hug. He gave me a loose one back. That just made me hug him tighter. I hated it so much that that happened to him.

Even though I wanted him to, he didn't cry. I pulled back and saw it in his eyes that he might. I wasn't going to push him to do so. "Did you blame her?" I said softly.

He looked away from me. He sighed hard than nodded. I wasn't expected that. I could tell he could tell I wasn't. He knew who I meant and he looked ashamed.

"For a while. But then I couldn't bring myself to anymore. It just wasn't worth it anymore, you know?"

I held his hand tightly. "You said it was when you need her the most, why was that?" I knew I was asking a lot of questions that was hitting home. But he knew if they were too much he could stop me.

He looked at me. "It was the time I was starting to realize how much of a jackass my father was." he said drily. I looked at him to continue. "My father's dream was to have at least one of his children follow his footsteps. When Rosalie and Jasper were freshmen in high school, they told him it wouldn't be either of them."

"So he turned to you." I concluded.

He nodded. "He pushed me to take extra classes and to do better than my best with my grades. And he never missed a beat when I was less than what he thought what the best was. And Jasper was always number one in everything he did, which was why he ranked so high in the army in his first few years. And my father never let me forget how much better my brother was than me. But he didn't point these things out while my brother was near. He didn't want him to feel guilty or something.

"But every time he would do that, I would have my mom behind me. She would tell him all the time to stop trying to push me and that was perfect the way I was.

"Then after she died, I had no one to back me up. So my father and I got into arguments. I mean we had them before, but it was never major. It will be something small like a bad grade or something. But when she died, they got bigger. One even gotten to the point where I left the house."

I gasped. He gave a very light chuckled. "Don't worry; I was staying with Emmett the whole time." He assured me. My face relaxed. I didn't like the thought of him roaming the street as a teenager. We can do stupid things when we're upset, us teenagers. I would have to thank Emmett for being such a good friend to him.

"Anyways, one night I came back home to get some clothes and Jasper stopped me. He sat me down and gave me a talk. He said he saw how hard my mom's death hit me. And he was right. I started skipping school, drinking. Pretty much anything self destructive." I wanted him to stop. I couldn't handle him doing something so stupid. What if some of those things killed him?

"And we had a heart to heart. He was the first person I talked to about it. I even cried on his shoulder." He chuckled as if it was stupid. I smiled and rubbed his hand. It's not stupid to crying over the death of your best friend; especially if that person your mother.

"He told me to stay with Emmett as long as I needed to. This was right before school let out, so I stayed with him until maybe July, August at the least.

"When I came home, he and Rosa started taking me and Emmett places. That was when Rosalie and Emmet started dating. They spent so much time together; it had to be something between them. They weren't good at relationship until they got with each other." He explained.

"Anyways, when I got into college, my dad realized no one besides him would be a doctor. He also realized how wrong he was for trying to push us, so now's he's trying to make it up to us, by being 'the best dad'." He said using air quotes.

"So is that why you hate him?" I asked. All this explains the way he feels towards his father.

He chuckled. "I don't hate him, Bella." my face relaxed in understanding. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not too fond of him. I would be lying if I said he was of one my favorite people. But he's my dad, no matter how much I try, I can't hate my family."

I nodded. Then realized he never turned back to me. I placed my finger under his chin and turned him to me. "Edward. Your mom was a great woman. She would be so proud of how great you turned out. I would've loved to meet her." I told him with a serious face.

He closed the space between us with his lips. "I would have love for you to too. I know she would've loved you. As much as I do." he closed the space again. "Almost." He smiled. I smiled back.

He turned his body to me, reflecting mine. "Now it's your turn." I gave him a confused look. "Tell me something no one knows."

I got it. It was my turn to do what he did. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Unfortunately, that involves my own family." He nodded to go on. I sighed again. I looked at our hands and started playing with his fingers. "I really don't want to talk about it, Edward." I admitted.

I didn't like talking about my dad. No one knew about him and what he did, not even Jacob or Billy. The only person who knew was Alice. It's been that way for so many years and that's how I wanted to keep it.

Edward gave me a light push in the shoulder. "Come on. That's not fair. I told you about my family. Tell me about yours." He urged. He placed his finger under my chin and lifts my head to meet his eyes. "Come on." He said softly. That made me break. Damn his adorable face.

"Fine." I sighed. "Unlike your story, mine started before I was born."

"Umm…Bella call me crazy but I think I know how that part of the story goes." He joked.

I got what he meant. He was doing the same thing I did. I rolled my eyes then hit him in the shoulder. "Shut up. You know that's not what I meant." I said and he laughed at my reaction.

"Okay, so how does this start with your parents?" he said as his laughs dies.

"Well, I don't have to tell it you they were like any other teenager story."

"Head cheerleader and Quarterback?" he guessed.

I laughed at that. My dad loved football but couldn't play it for the life of him. And as for my mom, well let's just say her correlation was as good as mine. But I guess that is the All American high school story.

"Not really. More like my dad was the capital of the debate team and mom was in the drama club." I admitted.

"Wow, not what I was expecting." He chuckled.

I gasped at him. I said nothing about his Betty Crooker years. I took a pillow and slapped him in the side of the head. "I thought I told you to shut up." I said playfully.

He chuckled as he took the pillow from my hand. He leaned into kiss me. "I'm sorry. Continued."

I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as I readjusted myself. "Well they met when my mom was a junior and my dad was senior."

He stopped me again. "Wait what do you mean 'met'? They didn't go to the same school?" he asked. I was hoping that was the last thing he needed to say. Was I like this when he was talking?

"No. my dad went to Forks High School and my mom went to one in Port Angeles." I explained. "Anyways, they met at some dance or something. From then they started dating until my dad graduated. They broke up during his first year of college.

"But, I guess by some strange twist of faith, they got back together sometime in my mom's second year. They didn't want to let each other go again so they got married right after they both were out of college. Then about maybe two or three years later they decided to have me. I guess that's also the time they were getting tire of each other."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I sighed. This is when I start hating this damn talk. "When I was about ten, they started arguing a lot. I mean they did it sometimes before, but they were better at hiding it. I guess they thought ten was older for them to argue in front of me.

"And they would fight about the dumbest things. I mean something small would turn in to a dead match. It would be like, I forgot to do empty the dishwasher or something and they would snapping at each other. Can you believe that, I didn't do what I was supports do and instead of yelling at me, they yelled at each other." I said, not really expecting an answer. I'm glad he didn't give me one.

"Anyways, one day while I was cleaning, I stumbled upon some old photos. Most of them were of them. Some from high school, some from college. But they all were the same. They had their arms wrapped around each other and smiling goofy smiles." I smiled at the thought of me looking at the pictures. But it dropped seconds later when I remembered what would be next.

"That's when I realized something. I was the reason for their fighting." I saw he was about to say something, but I continued before he got the chance. "Before I came, they were all smiles and happy and then when I came, it seems like they did nothing but fight.

"So I decided to leave them alone. I figured if I stayed away long enough, they would stop fighting. So I got in anything I could. I did dancing, tutored, babysitting; I even did track for a while. But I don't have to tell you that didn't end too well." I gave a humorless chuckled. I felt my eyes slipping from his.

I got back to the story. "I slept over Alice's house on the weekends, sometimes longer. Anything I could think of to get them more than the few hours they had while I was in school I did. But nothing seemed to work, because when I get home, they would still be yelling at each other.

"One summer, I had a dance recital. It was my first solo performance – well, me and another person. But to say I was excited wouldn't quit cover it. I made sure that was the one day they didn't fight.

"Well, during the routine, when my partner was supports to catch me; long story short, he didn't. I landed on my feet through. it was a good thing I had good balance back then otherwise I would've landed on my face.I felt a small pain in leg, but I dance through it. I had to do. It was the one time my parents were actually smiling for a chance, so I felt I had to.

"Afterwards, my mother noticed I was limping. I told her it was nothing, but she has always been one of those better safe than sorry type of people, so she took me to the hospital. It was a good thing she did, because it came to find out I twisted my ankle when I landed. And when I continued to dance, I made it worst.

"So, I spent the rest of the summer in my bed. That was the time I discovered soap operas and my mother discovered Icy-Hot." I smiled softly at the thought of me being in the living room with Days of Our Lives in front of me while I had Icy-Hot packs around me.

But once again my smile dropped into a sad frown. "It was also the time my father discovered beer. After a while he started drinking. At first it was only during dinner or when a game was on, but then some where along the lines, it got bad.

"One day when he came home from work, he was complaining about how kids don't respect the law or something, I don't remember. I tuned out when I realized he was complaining about his job." My father was the Chief of the police force and complained more than he should about his job. I never understood why he didn't just quiet. Maybe it had something to do with respect. Whatever.

"He was drinking more than usually. I decided to go to bed early. When my father drinks, he tends to get loud. And his yelling did nothing but add pain to my head along with more to my ankle.

"But in the middle of the night, I had to go to the bathroom. So I wobbled there to the best of my abilities. As I was going back to my room, I heard yelling. I figured it was another stupid fight so I didn't pay any mind to it. Well, I wasn't going to until I heard a crash.

"I wobbled to the stairs and sat at the top of them. I wanted to be close enough to say something to say it if it got too far. But not like that mattered anyways since they never even looked my way. I heard another crash. Then I heard my mom telling my dad to stop breaking stuff before he woke me. it was too late for that.

"They kept arguing. I never leaned what they were fighting about. I just kept hearing random things like my mom being mad that me dad was drinking so much and my dad being angry for whatever the hell he felt like being angry about.

"Then my mom started crying. She told him to leave and never come back. I thought he would fight back, but he didn't. I heard nothing after that. The next thing I heard was someone opening and slamming the door." I felt a tear starting to roll down my face. I hated this part the most.

"I looked over the banister and saw my mom sitting on the couch with her head down. That's when I realized that my dad was the one who left. But I waited on the stairs. I waited because I thought he would come back. I thought he would come back to try to fix things with my mom or at least to say good bye to me. But he did neither." I said shaking my head.

I felt some more tears come down. I wiped them away before too many came out. "I wouldn't say I was a daddy's girl." I could hear my voice starting to crack. "But it was just my mom, my dad and me. Even though I hated that they fought, I didn't want them to leave. And when he left with out saying good bye…" I trailed off and shook my head again. I was trying to shake the tears away. Edward moved closer to me. I took a deep breathe to continue. He told me his story; it was only fair that I told him mine. Plus I wanted to. I thought it would make us closer.

"A few months later, he was still gone and I was back at school. One day, my mom took me out early and took me everywhere. We went shopping, out to eat, to a movie. I thought this was some where she was going to tell me my father was coming home, but it was the opposite.

"When we got home she sat me down and said we needed to have a 'girl talk'. She told me her and my father was getting a divorce and he left us for another family." Just then I felt tears coming down again. Then later that night, I heard my mom talking on the phone. She was crying out her eyes. Then she said something that shot me in the heart. Turns out, my dad was cheating on her for two years." Just then, I broke down. I was in full on crying mode.

Edward moved on the side of me and wrapped his arms around me. I turned into him. He hugged me tightly to his chest.

"All that time of me thinking I was their problem and no matter how bad things got they would never leave each other was crap." I cried into his chest. "It was because he didn't love her enough to try and make thing work. Or didn't love me to even tell me he was leaving." I cried hard into him.

Unlike him, I wasn't ashamed to cry, even though I hated it. I didn't like tell this story because I cry every single time. I've only told one other person why my dad left us. I cried just as hard in Alice's arms as I'm doing now. I hated crying over him. I hated myself for feeling weak. I hated it more that I couldn't hate him for the fact.

"I'm so sorry he did that to you." Edward mumbled.

"I had a feeling he was going to try and make things right. But he didn't. Before he got the chance, he died." I cried. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop crying.

That story was the only thing that made me cry until my head starts hurting.

I was done with my story. Even if I wasn't, I couldn't speak anymore. He understood that. He just held me tightly in his arms, slightly rocking me like a child. He let me cry without saying anything else. The most he did was gave me long kisses on the top of my head.

After a while, no more tears would come out.

When I pulled back, his chest looked like he was sweating again. "I'm sorry." I said wrapping my eyes.

He looked down and saw what I meant. "Don't worry about it." He said. He got up and got the towel I used to dry my hair to wipe the wetness off of him. He sat next me. "Are you okay?" he asked with a serious face.

I nodded. "That's why I hate talking about that. It makes my head hurts when I'm finished." I gave a humorless chuckle as I wiped my eyes again.

He gave a small chuckle back. Something told me he was just humoring me. "You don't ever have to talk about it again if you don't want to." He told me. I stood on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck. How did I end up with someone so great?

"Thank you." I said in his ear.

"No problem." He pulled away and smiled at me. "How about we get something to eat, then I'll see if I have something for you head?"

I smiled back and gave him a small kiss. "I think that's great."

He gave up, took my hand then led me down the stairs.

hey, great to see you at the end of here. that meant you actually read this. as you could see, unlike my other fillers, this has nothing to do with the rest of this story. i don't even think it would even come up later, well the thing with Rosa might. anyways. i thought it would be a good idea to tell you why they're the way they are.

anything else you want to know, let me know. i haven't mention it before but i really really love all the favs and the alerts as much as the reviews so keep it up. please and thank you. love you muvh.

remember to always R & R. it makes me do this; XD, and not this; T_T. trust me, i look better when i do the first one.

i have nothing else to say, so i'll see you pple next time. (btw; 5 mons, 1 week, 4 days. until Nov 18. if you don't know why this date is important then AHHH! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO KNOW AND I HOPE NO ONE TELLS YOU AND YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT TO FIND OUT!)

Luv & Rockets.