well, this is chapter 22

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i'm so sorry.

22. Surprise

I didn't know what that dream meant before, but I knew now.

I looked down and saw that my shirt was still half opened. I crossed my arms across my chest to hide it. "What's going on?" I asked again, stepping down another step. Edward turned to me. I looked into his eyes and saw everything. Something was wrong. And not 'just nod your head and agree with everything to make it okay' kind of wrong. But the terrible 'someone might get hurt' kind of wrong.

He cleared his throat. "Bella, this is Officer Cooper and Officer Howard." He said gesturing to one and then the other.

"Good morning, ma'am." One nodded to me. He talked with a smile that I didn't buy for a slit second. I didn't know which one was which. To be complete honest, I really didn't give a damn. What I wanted to know why there were two police officers at the door.

"Hi." I gave a small wave. I didn't want to be rude. But I didn't want to make small talk. "What's going on?" I asked once more.

The other turned away from me and back to Edward. "Maybe we should finish this outside." He said to him. The statement was more than a demand if than anything else. Edward nodded. He turned to me. 'Stay in here.' He mouthed to me. I knew I couldn't make that promise. But to make him happy, I nodded. He turned back to the officers and followed them outside.

When they walked out, I finished walking down the last few stairs. I needed to know what was going on and that wasn't going to happen by me sitting in this house. I quickly walked to his coat rack and grabbed a random jacket. When I put it on, it was barely longer than the shirt I already had on. It was better than nothing. I hold it close like I held the shirt and stepped outside. They were by the police car so I leaned against the door frame. My plan was to stand there. I wanted to just stand there and listen. I wanted to see what was going to happen, and I wanted to do it without going noticed. It was going well until what happened next.

Edward faced towards me. I thought he was going to come back to the house. But after staying there for a while, I knew I was wrong. What happened next made my heart stop beating.

I heard a click.

Oh, my god. I didn't want to believe what was happing. But rather I wanted to believe it or not, it was happing.

They started pulling him. That made me unfreeze.

"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped as I stepped off the pouch. I started walking towards them, but Edward's face stopped me in my tracks.

"Don't worry. We're just going to question him." one said while the other continued to pull him to the car.

I knew what he was telling me was nothing but complete bull shit. "If you're just going to question him, are the damn hand cliffs really needed?" I snapped again. I heard Edward softly groan my name, hinting me to stop snapping like that. I knew swearing and snapping at a police officer wouldn't help anyone. I was about to do that because I knew it was oddly, I didn't give a fuck. I was angry and scared and I wanted answers.

I looked at them. All I saw was Edward getting closer and closer to the police car. With each small step it got more and more real. They were taking him away from me.

"No! Let him go." I couldn't help but yell. I felt that was the only way to get my point across. They didn't want to listen to me when I was just talking, so I was going yell. If it will make them let my Edward go, I will fucking scream to the top of my lungs.

I started walking quickly to him. The closer I got, I picked up my speed to a light run. I was so close to him. I reached out for him.

As I was getting close to him, I got stopped.

I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. I didn't know who was grabbing me like this. All I knew was it wasn't the person I wanted. That person's hands were busy with hand cliffs. I looked around then realized the other police officer wasn't anywhere to be found.

Then I remembered one of them still have a pair of free hands. The thought upset me. "What the hell? Let me go." I demanded. He didn't listen to me. He kept a grip on me. That just pissed me off. I started screaming through my teeth. "I said let me go." I demanded in a loud groan. He didn't listen again. I grabbed his arms and tried to pry them off of me. He was too strong; stronger than what i was just to. I couldn't get him off me. I started kicking as wildly as I could.

I screamed over and over the same thing. I didn't care how I looked. I just wanted this unknown guy to release me. When kicking and screaming didn't help me, I resided to the only other thing I could think of. I started to beg. And with the begging, came tears."Please, please. Let me go. Please don't do this to me. Please." I couldn't think of anything else to say but to repeat pleads to them.

"Can I just please say good-bye?" I heard Edward said. I can't tell anyone how happy I was when I heard the click again and felt myself being put back on ground.I stood there as Edward ran towards me. He picked me up and held me tightly to him. These are the arms I wanted around me. I felt so safe in them. But not matter how happy I felt and how comfortable I felt in his arms, I couldn't stop myself from crying in his shoulder.

"Oh, my gosh, Edward,I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. This is all my fault." I cried. I tried my best to get the words out. But through my cries, they just sounded like random mumbles.

"Bella, please don't say that. It's not." He said against my hair. I could easily hear in the crack in his voice.

He was on the vague of crying as well. But just like the time we were sharing stories, he was trying to keep a strong face. I wish I was as strong as him. But I wasn't. There thought of him trying to do that, did nothing but made me cry harder.

"Stop it Edward. You don't have to lie to make me feel better. I feel like crap and there's nothing you can do or say to change that. This is my fault, all of it. If I didn't try to make you admit your feelings to me, if I didn't push you into this, if I just would've left and never looked back after that first kiss, this wouldn't be happening to you. I hate myself for doing this to you. And I'm so, so sorry." I cried out every single word. And meant it all.

This was my fault. He was just fine being my teacher and waiting. I'm the one who fucking couldn't just listen to everyone who said this wouldn't end well.

"Bella, please stop." He said softly.

I shook my head against his shoulder. "No. this is my fault. I should've just left after that damn dream; I shouldn't have stayed over that night; I should've never asked you to take this to the next level. I should've, I should've. I don't know, but I should've stopped it." Before I could think of something else, I felt his lips crash against mine. This was more than just another I love you kiss; way, way more than a 'will you just shut up?' kiss. I don't know how to describe it. But I allow myself to get lost into it.

He pulled away. "Please, please stop apologizing. Blaming yourself won't help me and it won't help you. So stop it because I don't blame you for what's happing."

I looked into his eyes. "Why not?" I couldn't help but ask. It seem like this would be the perfect time to do exactly that. How could he hold me and kiss me and still look at me like I was perfect?

"Because it's not your fault." I started to object but he stopped me. He shook his head. "Don't. It's not. If I'm going to blame anyone, it would be myself." I looked at him with shock. The most I could get out through my tears. He sighed. "I knew the risk of this. This was exactly why I wanted to wait until you were eighteen." I started to say something, again he stopped me."Please let me finish. Every step of the way, I knew this was a possibility of this happing. When you came with me to my parents' house, every time I watched you undress or sleep next to me, I couldn't stop think of this. I should've stopped it but I didn't."

"Why didn't you?" I had to ask.

He gave a very, very small smile. I could barely tell it was there. "Why do you think, you silly girl."

I gave a smaller smile back. "Because you're crazy." I guessed.

"Yes, but only about you." He kissed me again before placing on the ground again. I didn't want to be away from him so I pull him closer to me. He wiped my tears with the side of his thumb. "You remember what I said that day in the closet?" he asked softly.

I looked to the ground to I breathed hard and nodded. "You said…" I tried. I gulped and tried again. "You said." I couldn't.

He saw I was having a hard time so he finished for me. "I said as long as I could make this work, I will do everything in my power to do so."

Could I believe that? What if he was just saying that in the heat of the moment? It was only one way to find out. I looked up at him and saw his eyes were red. "Do you mean that?"

"Bella, look into my eyes. Would I ever lie about something that?" he asked. I did what he said. I could tell he was trying so hard not to cry. But it wasn't working. When he started to talk again, I heard his voice shaking. I'm glad of one us was trying to be strong. I wasn't afraid to let my tears come down like I just saw my best friend getting shot. He put his hands on both sides of my face. "Bella, do you also remember when we were at the batting cages and we had to hurry and leave? Remember what I said then?" he asked. That one I didn't remember. I shook my head. "I said I will be out as soon as possible." He reminded me.

"Edward, what does that have to do with this?" I asked in confusion. I didn't see the connection of the two.

He sighed. "It has everything to do with this. I'm making the same promise now. Bella, I promise I will come back to you. But first I need you to do something for me."

"Anything. Name it." I said quickly.

"You have to make me a promise." A promise? What kind of promise did he want me to make? "You have to promise me you will be there with me every step of the way. And when that time comes, you have to be waiting for me with open arms for me to run into." He said. I nodded. He closed his eyes and shook his head. The movement confused me. "No. No nodding. No short answers. I need you to repeat it." He said.

I didn't get why he needed that. Why did he need me to promise that? Did he not think I would be with him through whatever? Then I remembered what also happened in the closet that day. I needed him to say I love you to me, even through I knew it. But it made sense for me. I didn't get why he would love me like I do him. So him saying it made it real for me. I guess he needed the same feeling.

I grabbed his hands I breathed deeply. I wanted to breathe out the cries so I could say it. "Edward." I stopped so he could open his eyes and look at me. I wanted to see his eyes when I said this. He opened his eyes. When he did, a tear came running down his face. "I promise that while you're gone, I will be will you every step of the way." I started off strong, but by the time I said 'will', my voice was cracking and I was on the vague of crying again. "And when you get out…" I stopped mid way. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I couldn't finish. This was all too surreal.

"Bella, please. When I get out…" he said to help me. His voice was just as shaking as mine. I couldn't believe this. He wouldn't cry when Emmett was in a car accident and wouldn't shed a tear when he was talking about his mom. But now he was crying just like me.

I slowly opened my eyes to look at him. "When you get out, my arms will be open for you to run into them." I continued, but it was so hard. I noticed the pattern of my hardest things I had to do indulge him. As soon as the last word fell off my lips, I started crying again. With that, his arms were around me again, holding me tightly. He repeatedly kissed the top of my head. Each time he did, I felt him breathe deeply against it. I could tell he was crying.

As we embraced each other, I felt one of his arms be removed from me. I looked up at his arm to see it wasn't by his own doing. One of the police officers were grabbing his arm, causing it to remove from me. I forgot they were there.

I felt myself getting angry at him. Didn't he see we were still saying our good-byes? Edward looked behind him and saw what I was looking at. He sighed and turned back to me. "Bella, I have to go." He stated.

I looked at him then shook my head. "No, not yet." I looked at the officer. "Just a few more minutes please." I begged. I wasn't ready to let, not yet.

The office shook his head. "I'm sorry, ma'am."

I was about to say something else, but Edward beat me. "It's okay." he said then cleared his throat. He looked at the officer. "We're done." Then he turned back to me. "Bella, we're done." He said.

I nodded as I wiped my eyes. No matter if I was ready or not, I knew I had to let go. I slowly let go of his shirt that I didn't know I was gripping so tightly. When I finally let go, they started walking back to the car.

"Wait." I said when they were a few feet away from me. They stopped and Edward turned to me. I ran to him. I threw my arms around him and pressed my lips hard against his. I needed one more; just one more passionate kiss. I placed a few more short and quick kisses on his lips before pulling back. "I love you. Come back to me."

He nodded. "I love you too. And I will." I removed my arms from him but grabbed his hand. I held it tightly. I will never be able to let go of him. I slowly let it go. When I did, they put him in the car and got in the front. I was glad that they didn't put the hand cliffs back on him. Then they drove off.

I stood there and watched them leave. I watched them until I couldn't see the blur of the car anymore.

I don't what it was; maybe the fact that without his arms around me, I felt like a part of me was missing. But I sudden realized how cold it was. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked back in the house.

As soon as I did, I was greeted by the ringing my phone. That sound did nothing but upset me. I grabbed it off the couch and sat down where it was. I looked at the caller ID. I didn't know whether or not I wanted answer it. But I found myself pressing the talk button and holding to my ear.

"Hello." I said in a very died voice. That's how I felt right now. I felt like dying.

"Bella, where are you?" Alice answered on the other end, ignoring my tone. "I know you're having fun with him but…" I cut her off by crying again. When she said him, my mind went to what just happened. "Bella?" her voice went to concern. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I cried some more before I could even attempt to explain why I was crying my eyes out like a newborn baby. "Oh, my god, Alice. He just got arrested." I cried into the phone. As soon as I said that, reality finally hit the core of my heart. I don't know what I was thinking when it was happening before, but when I said it loud, it was like I woke up and realized this damn nightmare was real. She gasped. That was the last thing I heard before I hung up.

I didn't want to hear anything she was going to say. There was nothing anyone anywhere could say or tried to say would make me feel better. I felt like hell. My Edward was gone and it was because of me. No matter what he said outside, it didn't change the fact that he wasn't with me right now and there was no one to blame but me.

I threw the phone to the floor, not caring if it broke or not. My world just crashed, the last thing I want to care about is my phone. I buried my face on my hands and cried. After a while, my head started hurting. I didn't care. I just kept crying in my hands.

Sooner or later, no more tears wanted to come out. That was probably good. It was probably best that I stop crying and hating myself. It wouldn't get him back in here with me. I wiped my eyes and looked around. Where I was didn't ever feel like what it was before, my home. Without him in it next to me, it felt so sad and lonely and just so empty. I needed to get out of here. But first I needed a shower. I got up and walked to the bathroom upstairs.

After I washed for a little while, I didn't want to anymore. I sat on the floor of the bathtub under the shower head with my knees hugged tightly to me. I let the water rain down on my head. Even when it dropped to freezing cold, I still sat there. It was like the water itself froze me there. In fact, I don't even know how I finally got out. All I knew was that I somehow ended up on his bed in a towel.

I said I had to get out of his house but I was still here. Why was I torturing myself like that? Because I'm stupid and forget how to use my mother fucking brain correctly.

I got up and got dressed and finished packing my things. I put my shoes on before taking my bag and swing it on my shoulder. I reached onto the bed to get my keys. When I did, something caught the corner of my eye.

I walked over his nightstand and grabbed a picture frame. I sat on the bed again and smiled at the picture.

It was a picture of me and him at his parents' house on the couch. It didn't look like it, but the picture was totally posed. Esme was going picture crazy and told me to sit on his lap to take one. I didn't want to because I didn't feel comfortable on his lap in front of them and I really didn't want to take a picture. They convinced me by saying she wasn't going to give up until we took a picture together.

He had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and smiling his big smile, showing all his teeth. While I just gave a small one.

I decided I wanted to take it. I turned it around and took off the back. When it came off, I saw some writing on the back.

It said Bella and Edward. Dec. 24; our first Christmas. It was written in my poor handwriting. I don't know why he didn't write it.

I took the picture out and grabbed my bag and keys before walking down the stairs. I looked around the house one more time before walking out the door and going to my car. I kept my head down as I walked pass his. I knew if I so much as glance at it, I would burst into tears again.

XXX

Alice's had a bench in a window. It was big enough for two people to sit there and when you looked out of it, you saw nothing but open space. It was the perfect to sit to think.

This is where I was and where I have been since I got here six hours ago. I didn't get up to eat or anything else. The most I did was gone to the bathroom. I kept a bottle of water next to me because my mouth was dry. I didn't want to do anything else but look out the window. I was sitting here so long, that I watched the sun go down. Well, more like stared in the direction of the sun going down.

I walked in and went straight to her room. I didn't want to make small talk with anyone. I felt like if I did, I might snap or cry. Then they would just ask what was wrong and I didn't want to talk about it. They didn't know and they shouldn't have something like that on their shoulders.

I was staring out the window with I heard someone come in the room. the way I knew was because I heard the door open. I had it closed so I could be alone. I didn't want to lock Alice out of her own room, but I couldn't be with anyone right now. I would do nothing but bring down or we would sit in an awkward silence. Either way, it wasn't going to be good.

I sighed hard. "Bella, you want to come and eat?" I heard a high, sweet voice. I knew it wasn't Alice.

I turned my head to the person. "No thank, Mrs. Brandon." I tried to smile.

"Are you sure? I know Alice said you wanted to be left alone, but I figured you were hungry by now. You should come eat; I made Italian chicken, your favorite." She tried to convince me.

I could always go for Alice's mom chicken. She seasons it to perfection. But tonight was a night that I couldn't. I shook my head. "I'm not really hungry. Thank you though." I said.

"Okay well if you do want something, just call and Alice or Cynthia will send you something up."

"Can I just get another bottle of water, please?" I said. Part of me just wanted her to leave another part of me really did want another bottle because the one I had was basely empty.

She smiled softly at me. "Sure dear." She walked out the room and closed the door behind her.

I was happy to be alone again. I turned to look out of the window. It was dark now. I still stared in to space.

It was about forty-five minutes before the door opened again. I sighed again as I looked in the direction of the door.

"My mom told me you wanted some more water." Alice came in this time. I nodded as I reached for it. "Thanks." I said taking the bottle from her hand. I opened it and took a slow gulp."So how are you doing?" she said as she sat down by my feet.

I shrugged as I closed the bottle again. "I'm better than this afternoon." I turned and looked out the window. "But I'm not going to stop thinking." I said more to myself than to her.

"About what?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know; blaming myself, how he's doing, when I will see him, how the rest of this year's going to play out." I said. The same things that kept replaying in my head like a CD struck on repeat since I walked in his house after they pulled off. "Mostly if this is just a joke and if he's going to come back or bad dream that I'm going to wake up from."

"But it's not, Bella." she said. Was that all she could say to me?

I rolled my eyes. I looked to her. "I know that, Alice." I turned always from her. I sighed "And that's what sucks the most." I admitted.

She put her hand on my knee. "He's going to be okay, Bella." she said.

I turned to her again. "How would you know that?" I asked in disbelief.

She shrugged. "I just have a feeling." Oh no, not another one of her 'feelings'. "You just have to wait for him. He'll be home soon enough."

"Yeah, sure." I mumbled as I looked out the window again. I didn't want to listen to anything. I don't know what it was, but it just seem like nothing anyone would say would make anything better. So why bother?

"Hi guys." I turned to the door again. Alice made the mistake of keeping it open. Her little sister was standing the door with a plate in her hand. "Mom wanted me to see if you guys wanted some cookies."

"No thanks, Cynthia." Alice said. Her sister was about to turn away, but I stopped her.

"Actually, you can bring them here. I probably eat them sooner or later." I told her. Cynthia walked towards me and handed me the plate. I place it between Alice and I. "Thanks." I smiled at her.

She smiled back. "Happy to help." She turned and walked out.

"Close the door please." Alice said as Cynthia walked through it. She did what she said. Alice turned to me. "No point in letting these go to waste." She said before taking one. I gave a small smile before following her lead. But unlike her, I didn't bit off it. I held it in my hand as I turn to stare at the darkest again.

XXX

The next day, Alice suggested I didn't go to school. She said she had a dream of my lashing out at people and didn't want that to happen. I told her was crazy and went anyways. Nothing was going to happen. If anything, I would be quite all day like I was last night.

I took my own car because I didn't go straight to school. I ditched first period for obvious reason. I couldn't handle the fact that a sub would be in his place, trying to replace him like nothing's wrong. But to them, nothing was.

I had about fifty minutes to spear, so I went to the only place I wanted to go. It was the place I like to go to clear my head. and that's what I needed; some nice head clearing.

I drove to La Push beach and sat at the top of the cliff. I watched still waters against the morning sun. It's funny; the last time I was here was when I was dealing with that whole thing of me kissing him for the first time. Now I was here thinking about what I might do without him. How the hell did things change like that?

I sighed hard as I looked at my watch. It was almost time for second period. I was thinking of skipping that too, but decided against it. I got up and walked to my car.

When I got to school, it was just as I thought. No one had heard of the news yet. A few people noticed my expression as I walked through the halls and noticed I wasn't in first period.

I heard the same damn all day: 'How are you; what's wrong?'. I even heard some girls talking about why Edward wasn't there. It was a good thing I was in the hall when I did so I could just walk away. If I didn't, I would've broken down and started crying again. I didn't want to cry any more; at least not in school. I knew all I had to do was make it through a few more periods.

I was sitting in my fourth period with my head on my desk. I didn't feel like doing work. Maybe Alice was right; maybe I should've just missed the whole damn day.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was glad to turn and see it was Alice. "What?" I asked her.

"I left my pen in our last class; do you have one I can borrow?" she asked.

I sighed hard. "I think so; hold on." I sat up and started feeling in my pockets. I felt a pen and some paper. I wondered what it was. I pulled out both the pen and the piece of paper.

I handed her the pen and unfolded the paper. When I did, I couldn't help but smile. It was the picture I took from his house. I remembered I put the same pair of jeans on this morning because I didn't feel like looking for something in my bag. I didn't even want to go near it.

"What's that?" Alice asked me.

I handed her the picture. "It's me and Edward at his parents' house on Christmas." I told her.

"You guys are so cute." She said as she gave it back after looking at it.

I sighed at the picture. "I know." I should've put it back in my pocket when she gave it back to me, but I didn't. I kept staring at it as if doing that would make things better. But it didn't. it made thing the opposite of better. The more I looked at it, the louder the voice in my head got. And it kept saying the same thing. He's gone, it's your fault. He's gone, it your fault. It was like a little devil was tap dancing on the thing that made me feel so bad.

And the louder the voice got, the harder it was to keep the wall that was holding my tears in place up.

My breathing got labored. Finally, I broke. One single tear came out. I knew once it started it, it wasn't going to stop. I got up from my seat. "I'm going to the bathroom." I said before I walked out. I didn't have time to ask permission. I needed to go.

When I got to the bathroom, I let a few more tears come out but didn't let out cries. I gripped the sides of the sink as I breathed deeply. I didn't want to cry in school and I wasn't going to do it. When I thought I was calmed down enough, I splashed water on my face then dried it before I walked out.

After my almost break down, I didn't want to go back to class. Hell, I didn't want to go to any class. I should've stayed home. But it wasn't too late. I wasn't going to the rest of my classes. I wanted to leave the school all together.

I walked to my locker to get my jacket and my car keys from my bag. I didn't bother to grab my bag. I knew I wasn't going to do work so what would be the point of grabbing my bag? As I was walking away from my locker, I heard a sound that made want to hit my head against the damn lockers just so I could knock myself unconscious so I wouldn't have to hear them any more.

Lauren's fucking heels.

Why the hell does she keep wearing those fucking things?

I ignored them and kept walking. She was the last person I wanted to deal with. But I didn't get my wish.

"I thought that was you, Bella. Wait up" she said. I know I shouldn't have stopped, but of course I'm an idiot, so I did. I slowly turned to her and walked to me. Maybe if I just let spit her crap at me, she would leave me alone. "I didn't see you in class this morning; where were you?"

"I wasn't feeling well. I'm still not, so I think I'll go home." I told her in a bland tone. I didn't want her to sense something was wrong. I wanted her to leave me alone.

"Home? Why?" she asked.

I sighed hard. "I just told you."

"Yeah, I heard you had a bad weekend." She said with a 'caring' voice; I guess if that's what you want to call it.

"Yes and spilling over into my week. So if you don't mind…" I turned on my heels and started to walk away from her.

But what she said next caught my attention.

"It couldn't have been as bad as Mr. Masen's." she said behind me.

What the hell was she talking about? No one knew about what happened. I knew I would regret that I did so, but I turned to her.

"What are you talking about?" I said.

She crooked her head to the side. "You didn't hear? He got arrested yesterday." She said point blank.

"How do you know that?" I asked as I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Because my aunt told me."

"And how did she know?"

"Because I told her to." She said like it was no big deal.

I felt angry rise in my system. "And why the hell would you do that?" I asked. Then thoughts started running through my head until it got to the right one. "Wait a minute. You did know, didn't you?" I said as it clicked.

She smiled an evil smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, Bella." she lied with false innocence.

I walked to her. "Don't play that bull crap with me. You know exactly what the hell I'm talking about. About me and him; you knew, didn't you?" I glared at her.

"Oh that. I guess I did." she said with a shrug.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

She chuckled and folded her arms. "Intuition, street smarts, plus you two were so obvious; a blind man would've noticed it sooner or later."

"Not that obvious or it wouldn't have taken you four months to figure it out." I challenged her.

"It didn't. I guessed with I walked in on you guys making out. 'Looking for my contact.'" She said the last part with air quotes. "I don't think you have to look for something with your shirt inside out." she said rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms again.

I didn't even know I had my shirt on inside out that day. "What does that mean? I could have it like that all day." Who was I kidding? Alice would never walk away like that.

She nodded. "Yeah. I thought that too. I mean you are that lame to do something like that. So I didn't think too much of it. But later in the week, every time I would come to his room, both of you would look like two deer stuck in headlights, then you would leave fixing your hair and clothes. And I figured something was up with I saw your face when you saw me on his lap. Speaking of which, he's a very good kisser, by the way." She said with a smug smile. She knew how pissed I was when I saw that. And now she was throwing that in my face?

"If you thought something was going on, why didn't you tell someone then?" I asked her. I wanted to know every little detail that was going on in her mind. Expect, of course, her lips on his.

"Because to be honest, I didn't think about it. But you know what finally made me realize it?" she said.

I rolled my eyes and humored her. "What, Laruen?"

She gave a dark chuckle. "The day after the kiss we had, I went to go talk to him." she said.

"Yeah, I know. You told me that."

"Or did you hear?" she asked. I gave her a confused look. "When he said that, I turned to leave and I saw you walking away with a smile on your face and I was thinking 'Why the hell does she look so happy?' and it hit me. So I turned back to him and asked him. 'Is it Isabella Swan?' You should of seen his face when I mentioned your name." she chuckled darkly at the last part. "And he never answered my question. He just kept saying that it wasn't my business who it was and it didn't matter because I wouldn't find out. Blah, blah, blah." She rolled her eyes at it.

"And when you two had that little thing in class the next day, I went back to thinking it was nothing. Then I rethought about it. I thought to myself 'Of course they would do that. They probably think I'm on to them.'" She recited as she started to slowly walk around me. "So you know what I did next. I figured I should hold back. So I waited and waited. For weeks, I waited for you two to mess up. To catch you guys kissing in his class or make you slip and call him by his name. Something for me to pointed out. And when it didn't come, I started to give up. But then it finally came." She was in front of me now. "It was about a week after we came back to school."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

She smiled an evil smile. "Bella, did you know my aunt lives down the street from Mr. Masen?"

I gave her an angry confused look. "How the hell was I support to know that?" I asked her. I didn't knock on every door of the people who lived next to him to see if it was anyone I knew. Who the fuck would do that?

"I don't know. But it would've probably the best thing to check first before you started living with him." she said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. Now how did she know that? Was she stalking him or something? Did she really want something that badly? "How did you know I was living with him?" I asked.

"Because on the weekends, I babysit my cousins. And each time I was over her house, I saw your car from the window. Then I noticed how you would arrive late to school everyday. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. So I told my aunt and she agreed with me that it was quit inapporited for a student to be over a teacher's house at all hours of the night." She smiled wicked.

I found myself angrily glaring at the floor. "And she called the cops on him." I finished for her.

"Wow, Bella. You are smart." She said with a smug tone. I heard her started to walk away. Did she think she was just going to tell me some shit like that and didn't think I would want a why?

"Why?" I said in a low voice.

"I'm sorry, what; I didn't hear you." She said. She was really pushing me.

I looked at her with the deadliest stare. "Why the fuck would you do something so fucking awful with no fucking reason?" I said through clenched teeth.

She gave a chuckle. "Wow, potty mouth. Did you use the 'f' word enough in that question?"

All her games and talking riddles were really staring to piss me off. I stormed to her. "Cut the crap and just answer the damn question. Why the hell did you do that?"

"Well. If you want an answer, look in a mirror." She said with a serious face.

"What the hell does mean, Lauren?"

"Bella, do you remember in the fifth grade when we both were in the spelling bee?" she asked, ignoring my question.

I didn't know what she meant by that, but I nodded. "You lost by one word."

"Yeah. And two years later, when we both liked Josh Jackson?"

I gave her a confused look. "Yeah. He asked me to the Valentine's Day dance the day you were sick; then we dated until eighth grade. What does-"

She cut me off. "And then when we use to share our birthdays. I took all our friends roller skating for mine. What did you do for yours?"

"My mom took some people to an amusement park. Lauren, nothing you've named has anything to do with this."

"It has everything to do with it." She basely yelled.

I crooked my head to the side as it clicked in my head. "Are you mad because all that stuff happened? It wasn't my fault they gave you the one word you didn't know and I did; I didn't make you sick the day Josh asked me out; and as for the whole birthday thing, you know that was around the time my dad left and it was my first one with out him. My mom just wanted to make it special."

She gave a humorless chuckle. "If you think I did what I did for those small things, you're not as smart as I thought."

"Then why did you do it?" I yelled in anger.

"Because you're always winning." She yelled back. I was about to say something, but she continued. "You were always the one with the good grades and the one with guys following you around like you had the key to happiness in your bra; even with we got in high school. All that shit followed you." She said in angry.

I didn't know we were competing for me to 'win'. All I did was try my best in school. And it wasn't my fault that guys followed me. I didn't understand that."Then, this hot guy walks in this place and he's a teacher. And when I want to go there, he can't do that because he was already went there with you?" she looked at me with a puzzled face. "So I thought if he wasn't going to break the rules with me, I made sure he damn well wasn't going break them with you."

What she said was so crazy, I had to replay it in my head. After I did, nothing she said was a good enough excuse to ruin Edward's life like that. "Wait a second. Let me think about this." I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. "You thought it would be a good idea to put someone in jail because you were jealous of me?" I asked slowly. Even out loud, it didn't say right.

"I guess if you want to put like that, sure." She said as if she didn't care.

I slowly opened my eyes. She wasn't helping herself. "Are you that much of a heartless bitch? None of that had anything to do with him. Do you have any idea what you've done to him? He's going to go on record as sexual predator. You did that stupid shit because you didn't have the guts to take it up with me? You ruined his life and reputation." I damn near yelling by the time I got to the third sentence.

She pointed at herself with shock on her face. "I ruined his reputation?" she asked as if she was surprised.

That made me angrier than before. "Of course you did, you dumb slut. You called the fucking cops." I yelled at her.

"I'm not the one who fucked a teacher for a better grade." She told me.

I glared at her. "But you wanted to."

When I said that, it looked like it hit a soft spot. She glared back at me. "Yeah I did. But I didn't, you did." she close the space between us and lean into me ear. "How does it feel to lose?" she said in my ear. She pulled back and smiled evilly at me. "Have a good week, Bella." she said before walking away.

Now she did it. No way was I going to let her get away with that.

Before I knew what I was doing, I walked behind her and pushed her as hard as I could. She stumbled a few steps before catching herself.

She slowly turned to me. "Did you just push me?" she asked.

"It wasn't the wind." I told her.

"Don't touch me like that again, Swan." She warned as she walked towards me. I looked at her with a face to let her know I wasn't scare of her.

I dropped my jacket that was on my arm and I pushed her again. She looked at me like she didn't believe I just did that. She dropped her purse. "I said don't touch me." she said pushed me back. Hers was a little harder than mine.

I stumbled backward a little. "You deserve it." I snapped as I walked back to her. When I was close enough, I brought my medium size nails across her face. I didn't have long nails because I had this nasty habit of biting them when I was nervous. But they were long enough to make three long red lines on her face. They looked like they might bleed if they were deeper. I didn't know i have that much strength in me. I guess that's what happens when you're pissed as hell and all you see is blood red.

In reaction she touched her face. She gave me an angry look then brought her hand and did the same thing I did. She didn't use her nails like i did. Hers was just a slap. But again, hers was harder. I didn't care how badly she could beat me, I wasn't backing down. I didn't back down to my mom, I wasn't going to do it for her.

The slap made me see red again. I felt like when I walked in on them. The thought just made me madder.

I was about to slap her again, but she grabbed my wrist. "You don't want to mess with me." she warned as she threw my hand to the side. She gripped my hair tightly as if she was trying to rip it from the roots. I yelled through my teeth in pain. "I can be your worst nightmare."

Two can play it this game. i stomped on her foot before I did the same with her hair to she did with mine. I thought that would give me a little bit of control of what was happening, but I was wrong. She growled as she got angrier and grabbed my hair again. She put her other hand on the other side of my hair. Now she was pulling at it from both sides. She did it, so I did the same.

We were gripping each other's hair tightly while the other tried to shake the other off. We did this until we fell to the floor. We rolled until she was on top of me.

She sat up and slapped me. I felt her fake nails run across the side of my face. I felt a sharp pain when she pulled back. She started clawing at me with both hands like a cat. Before she could press her nail to my face, I crossed my arms to shield my face. I started to feel the starches on my forearms. She wouldn't stop.

I knew I needed to get her off me. I had to be quick with what I was about to next, because her hands were coming at me fast. I removed my hands. When she brought her hand to my face, I grabbed her wrist. She tried with the other hand, and I did the same.

When both of her wrists were in my hands, I thought about what to do next.

I brought one of her hands to my mouth and bite hard until I felt my teeth piercing her skin. She screamed as she tried to pull away, but my teeth were locked on her. I've become a big fan of using them; they were like weapons in my mouth.

I finally let her go. When I did, she slipped both hands out of mine and held the injury one close to her as she screamed. I saw red droplets coming through her hand. As she did, I sat up and pushed her as I could so she could get off me. When I did, she was still by my feet. I propped myself on my elbow and kicked her in the chest. She fell back.

I got up before she could regather herself, I grabbed her by her shirt. When I had a tight enough hold on her with one hand, I balled up the other one and swung it across her face. I think it hurt my hand just as much as it hurt her. I never learn how to throw a proper punch. I knew I suppose to aim for the nose and that's what I did. I ignored slight pain I did feel as I grabbed her shirt with my other hand and pulled her up. When she was on her feet like me, I smashed her against the closest set of lockers.

"You're going to fix this." I yelled at her. I heard my voice echo in the empty halls. I didn't care about it.

She turned her head and spat out something. "I'm not doing shit." She spat at me. She tried to get off the lockers and that just pissed me off more. I closed the space she made between herself and the lockers with a hard smash.

"Yes you are." I growled at her. I felt my hand tighten in a fist. I pulled back so I could bring it across her face again. But when I did, I felt someone grab it and yank me out of Lauren. The person hooked my arms behind my back.

"Bella. What the hell are you doing?" I heard a female voice in my ear say.

"I'm teaching a bitch that she shouldn't stick her fake nose in my business." I snapped.

"Bella." the person urged through her teeth. I couldn't tell the person was having a hard time holding me because I was still trying to launch at Lauren. I didn't care who was holding me. I didn't care about anything around me. All I care about was that I wanted to murder the one in front of me. I would've clawed her throat out if someone didn't break us up sooner or later. I didn't if I hurt; in fact, that was exactly what I wanted. The physical pain I was going to give her was no comparison to the hurt and misery she caused Edward and I.

"You stretched out my shirt, you psycho." She said in annoyance as she looked at her she shirt.

The fact she was just worrying about her damn shirt made me growl in anger. "I'm going to do a lot more than that if you don't go down to that damn police station and tell them it was a mistake so they can let him go." I growled at her.

She stepped to me until she was an inch a way from my face. "Why should I?" she said with so much confidence. Sure she has that since my arms were locked.

I slipped one of my hands of and arched my fingers. I clawed my hand against the side of her face before it was hooked again. As she put her hand to her face, I saw three more red marks on her other cheek. They looked deep too. I wanted to do more, but the person hooked my arm again.

This person was pissing me off now. "Let me go!" I yelled.

"No, Bella. Are you crazy?" the person said my ear. "Jacob, a little help here please." As soon as the person said that, I felt Jakes arms around me, locking my arms down to my sides. I tried to squirm out off them, but he had me tight to his body.

"Let me go!" I yelled again.

"Lauren, you should probably go." Alice said, breathlessly. I guess she was the one holding my before. Lauren tried to step toward me again but Alice stepped in from of me. "Go." She said.

Lauren took one more look at me before walking away. When she did, I stop trying to get out of his grip. "We should take her outside." Jake suggested. Alice nodded then turned to the group of kids that I was just realizing was there.

"Okay show's over. Go back to class." She said, shooting people away. When there was a clear enough path, she pick up my jacket that was still on the floor and she and Jake took me out the closest door.

When we got out there, Jacob was still holding me. "You can let me go now." I said when the cold air hit my face.

"I don't think so, Killer." He chuckled.

"Let me go, or I will kick you so hard in the nuts, you can forget about having children." I threaten. I didn't feel like being messed with. He set me on the ground. Then I took my jacket out of Alice's hands and put it on.

"Now, you mind tell us what that was about?" she said.

I shrugged. "She pissed me off."

"Bella, we're known each other as long as I can remember. You might hit someone but you would never get to the point where you want to fight. I didn't even think you knew how. – you kicked her ass, if I may add. – so what was the real reason?" Jacob said behind me.

I snapped to him. "You really want to know the reason?" I asked. He nodded. "Fine, I'll tell you. She's the reason my boyfriend is in jail." I snapped at him like it was his fault.

"What?" Alice said as she turned me to her. "She called the cops?"

I shook my head. "Her aunt did."

"Well how did she found out?" Alice asked.

"Lauren told her." I said.

Jacob turned me back to him. "Wait, Mr. Masen's in jail?" he asked like he missed something. He was one of the people who didn't know. Only Alice – and apparently Lauren – knew.

"Yes, Jake." I sighed hard.

"When did this happen?" he asked, shocked.

"Yesterday."

"Why didn't you call me?" he said.

"Because I didn't want to talk about it. Like I don't now."

"Jacob, be quiet." Alice stepped in as she turned me to her again.

"You know what; I don't want to talk about this. She ruined my life so I ruined her face. There; case close. There's no damn under message for why I fought her." I said turning my head back and forward between the two of them.

When I was done, I walked away from them. "Bella, where are you going?" Alice yelled after me.

I turned to them and started walking backwards. "I don't know, maybe off a cliff." I called back before turning back around and walking to my car.

XXX

I drove and drove. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. I just wanted to drive. Drive away from this and the fight and the jail. Just drive. The only time I did stop was to refill my tank; then I would drive again.

As I drove, tears started to run down. I pulled over because I didn't want to cry while I was driving. When I did, I gripped the steering wheel tightly and bended my head down to cry on top of them. Now I was crying because I was angry.

It wasn't all my fault. Some of it was Lauren fault and I hated it. So I cried.

Just like when I went back in his house after they drove off, I cried until no more tears would come out. When I stopped, I heard my vibrate against the floor on the passenger's side.

Everyone kept calling me and texting me. Jacob and Alice did to ask me where I was. Jasper and Emmett was texting me. I got sick of it ringing on my hip so I took it and tossed it to the floor. At least then, it would ring on my hip anymore.

I reached over and got. I answered it without looking at the caller ID. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me, young lady." I heard my mom on the other in. I sighed hard as I pinched the bridge of my nose. She was the last person I wanted to talk to.

"What do you want?" I said in annoyance.

"I want to know where the hell you are. Alice told me you skipped the rest of your classes and took off somewhere."

"Why do you care? You kicked me out, remember?" I snapped into the phone.

"I didn't. You left."

"Well you did come looking for me." I snapped again.

She sighed. "Just tell me where you are." She said.

I looked around for a sign or something. There was nothing that could help me. And to make matters worst, it was dark so I could see any land marks. "A few miles pass the mall." I told her. I didn't lie. I did pass by the mall as I drove.

"Well can you get back to Alice's house, so I know you're safe." She begged in a tired voice. She was tired of arguing. Truth be told, so was I.

"I can't do that." I told her anyways.

"And why not."

"Because, mom. I'm tired and I don't feel like driving all the way back. I'll sleep in a motel and drive back in the morning."

"Bella, I'm not comfortable with that."

"Sorry, but that's what I'm going to do." I hung up the phone before she could say something. I turned my phone all the way off before she had the chance to call back.

I got out of the car to get the blanket I kept in the car out of the truck. I climbed in the back and locked the doors. I took off my jacket to ball it up to use it as a pillow. I covered myself with then blanket and laid on my jacket.

Then I softly cried myself to sleep.

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