Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer

Why me? It always happens to me, just to top off my extremely great day my freaking piece of junk worth nothing truck had to die in the middle of

absolutely nowhere. I was driving around not heading anywhere just trying to get my mind off of everything when I saw it. I didn't even realize I was on this

road until I saw the tree. I stopped my truck and was just staring into space thinking about the first time Edward had brought me here. I am debating

getting out and walking into that amazing sanctuary that I know will bring the memories of him flooding back but I'm not sure i can take that right now, all

the hurt and loneliness, and yet I want to go there, feel him, smell him, I want to remember. I sit there for a while trying to decide what I should do. I

eventually come to the conclusion that I should come back some other time when i have had a better day so I turn the key in the ignition and, just my luck, it

doesn't start, of course not why would anything go my way today. I get my phone out ready to call a tow truck or my dad but then I look back at the place

where I feel most connected to the man I love the place that i have been purposefully avoiding since he had left. I throw my phone down on the passenger

seat and get out of my truck, slamming the door as I go.

I walk past the oddly shaped tree that serves as a marker to the opening of a different world. Past the tree is an old crumbling concrete wall with

vines all over it. You can hardly tell there is a wall behind all those vines anyone who went by here wouldn't give it a second glance, but i knew better I knew

what was hidden. I pulled the vines away revealing the door, the door that Edward led me through on that cold November night. I pushed the memories

away I needed to get inside before I fell apart completely. I took a deep breath and turned the ancient handle, opening the door to the place where our

secrets and deepest fears will forever be hidden behind it's cold harsh yet somehow comforting walls. I pull the vines over the door covering me from the

outside world, grab the flashlight that's always just to the right of the door and start walking down the path. As soon as I see the split pathway up ahead I

automatically turn to the right, heading down the stairs. I feet a jolt of happiness and excitement as I hear the familiar sound of running water. I run down

the rest of the stairs and walk over to the little river that feels so comforting, I feel like he was here with me. I sit down leaning my head against the

concrete wall and finally let myself remember that night. The night when all our walls came down, the night i truly fell in love with him.

I remember it was incredibly cold and gloomy that day. I hadn't talked to him all day I thought I would be okay, that I would get through the day

without a breakdown but then from down the hall came the unmistakable sound of my dad crying and I completely lost it. I needed to get out, I grabbed my

phone and ran down the stairs out my front door and down the sidewalk. I walked to the only ice cream shop in town knowing Edward was working, I wiped

my eyes and went up to the counter. Once he saw me he told the manager that he was leaving early and walked me outside. We sat down on a bench and

he asked me the question I was so scared of answering. I was so afraid that if he knew what I was crying about, that if I let him into that part of my life, he

would run away, calling me crazing as he went. I knew I was being silly of course he wouldn't run away but it scared me just the same. "What's wrong

Bella?" I tried to take a deep breath but it came out short and ragged. I closed my eyes leaning my head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Today is

my mom's birthday." I don't know what I was expecting him to say or do but it wasn't what he did. He stood up grabbed my hand and said, "Come on, I

need you to see something." I didn't feel like walking I didn't feel like seeing anything, actually i just wanted to lay down go to sleep and wake up to

tomorrow, but the way he said it, like it would make a life or death difference if i went to see this "something". I didn't know it then but i was right, that night

changed my life forever.

That was the night he showed me the hidden river, the night I told him all about my mother. How she had had cancer for a year, how she stopped

responding to the chemo, how we knew we were going to lose her. Those couple of months had been so unbearably painful. I hardly talked to anyone, even

Alice. I was in my own little ball of anger, pain, and resentment for so long.

I remember the words just tumbling out, for weeks I had been worried about telling him about my mom, it was a subject I always tried to avoid, but

there in that cave with his arms around me I felt like I could tell him anything and he'd be there for me. I had never felt as protected as I had that night while

he held me. We sat there for an immeasurable amount of time, it seemed like the world had stopped and it was just me and Edward.

I shake my head trying to rid my mind of the painful memories. It is almost to painful to bear being here without him. This was our spot and without

him to share it with me I feel like a part of me is missing. I feel like I'm being ripped in half, a part of me wants to stay here forever swimming in my memories,

but another part wants to run out of here as fast as I can away from the pain and the hurt. I know what he's doing is good and I don't blame him for being

there, I'm proud of what he's accomplishing, i just wish he could somehow be closer to me.

A/N: Thanks for reading please leave a review and tell me what you think.