Shinigami Academy

September 30th, 1946

"Are you telling me that you don't have your assignment done?" My zanjutsu instructor scolded, his face clenched up in anger.

"Uh, yes sir. I… I did hear him, but I wasn't able to materialize my zanpakutou because I wasn't able to hear his name—"

"That was the whole point of the assignment! I gave you an entire month to handle this project, and you didn't get anywhere! Now you're going to be behind! I'm going to have to talk to Captains Ukitake and Yamamoto and discuss this issue. Don't think you're getting off lightly, Mamori!" He walked back to his desk while I bowed respectfully and exited the room.

Remember how I said that my deadline was nearing a close last chapter? Well… it's Monday of that week, and I still didn't manage to materialize my zanpakutou in time. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think it was a good idea seeing Toushirou on Saturday. Oh, and well… now you know what year it is. Yep, I was born on April 30th, 1932. I died this year on August 21st, 1946. Anyway, time, I suppose, would be essential knowledge for you.

I left the building and walked solemnly past Renji and the others. They didn't seem to notice me, so I just left them alone; besides, I was in too much of a bad mood. Even the fact that I had improved on my kido and passed my first demonstration quiz didn't help. My hoho grade was still terrible and as for my hakuda class… well, let's just say I'm learning. But hey, this was my first month in the school. Gimme a break.

I pondered over the fact that I couldn't even hear my zanpakutou's name the entire time I walked home. I passed one of the squad members I recognized as Sentarou Kotsubaki, the third seat. I head bowed as I passed him, but he made no remark of recognition, so I just kept going. Ukitake's voice could be heard as I passed his office, as well as Kaien's. I decided I shouldn't interrupt them, but what they were saying caught my interest. I pressed my ear against the door lightly and listened in, but I missed the first half.

"—Kuchiki requested that his younger sister be admitted into the Gotei 13 in a few years or so, after she completes most of her training. Unfortunately, that means she won't graduate."

"I see. Well, she's always welcome here!"

"Captain, you always say that, and you wonder why our squad ends up being the largest…"

"Well, how could I turn away from someone who needs a place to stay?"

"You and Kyouraku-taicho are two of a kind…"

Ukitake started laughing, but he began to cough violently due to his sickly state. Footsteps hurried themselves and Kaien's voice said, "Sir, please, don't strain yourself. If you need to, you should go lie down."

I accidentally made a small sound of approval, but one word popped in my head instantly as I heard footsteps closer to the door—busted. The sliding door was ripped open, catching my right ear. I held it and staggered away, moaning at my idiocy; but I froze as soon as I heard a growl of annoyance from the door. I turned slowly and looked up at Kaien's face—his eyes felt like they were boring into my soul and I saw his right cheek twitch slightly.

"Nazeka…" He said my name like he was possessed.

"Ah… heh, good afternoon… Lieutenant Shiba. Feeling well?" I tried, but his arm shot out, grabbed the sleeve of my kosode and pulled me into the room, slamming the sliding door shut in one fluid motion. I could mentally see a huge fire behind him as he clenched his fists and shouted, "You friggin' moron! What the hell are you doing eavesdropping on our damn conversation! How do we know you haven't been doing this ever since you got here! You could be in some serious trouble for that, you understand! I should—"

"—Kaien, please calm down. I'm sure she would like to explain why she was eavesdropping," Ukitake interrupted, wiping the bit of blood on his mouth with his haori, "Now Nazeka, I hope you will explain."

"Yes sir. I just happened to hear you say the name of—" Just as I was about to explain, a Hell butterfly flew into the room. It landed lightly on the Captain's finger and relayed its message silently before flying out of the room again. Ukitake sighed and stood up, "Captain Yamamoto has requested an audience with me and your teachers at school, Nazeka."

I could feel the hair on my neck stand on end.

"We are to discuss how this month has been. Anything you want me to say on your behalf?"

"…Well, could you tell them I've been working very hard? I'm really trying, but after all that, I still couldn't hear my zanpakutou's voice."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"No, sir."

"Okay, Kaien, I'm off. You're in charge while I'm gone. Please try to get some of the paperwork done while I'm gone."

"Yes sir."

He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. Both Kaien and I stayed silent until his footsteps could no longer be heard. When they disappeared, Kaien turned to me and grabbed my head, his face twitching again, "Alright… I'm gonna keep you busy while he's out taking care of your curriculum. Now, you're gonna help me with all that paperwork you see over there." He pointed to a tall stack of paper on Ukitake's desk, "Now get busy."

"But what do I do?" I asked, still staring in horror at the amount. He let go and motioned for me to follow him. He pointed to the couch in front of a low wooden table. I sat down obediently and watched wide eyed as he set down more than half the stack of papers in front of me on the table. He picked the top sheet up and held it up for me to see, "Okay, you see this? This is a report that comes from the other members of our squad. Most of them are written by either me or the Captain, and as you can see, all of these have been finished. But your job is to go over them to make sure there are no mistakes."

"All of them?"

"Yes. All of them."

"Oh…" I said quietly, taking the first sheet from him and beginning to read. "The mission went quite well. About fifteen Hollows were executed during the time there—a usual number. Nothing out of the ordinary…" I kept reading, but I was practically falling asleep. They were so boring! And most of them were the same, too! Killed some Hollows, performed what was known as a Konso, erased a few memories, and that was it!

It took about an hour and fifteen minutes to read through them all and correct them, but then I was assigned the task of rewriting the ones that had needed revisions. That was when I asked if I could leave so I could go talk to my still not yet formed zanpakutou.

"What do you mean you don't have your zanpakutou formed yet? You've been training for the past month almost non-stop ever since you entered that school, and now you're telling me you still haven't materialized your zanpakutou?"

"Ahuh. I've seen him… and talked to him. But whenever he tries to tell me his name, his spiritual pressure drowns it out. I can never hear him."

"So maybe you do need more training. But that also means that you didn't finish your assignment on time. That's what the Head Captain wanted to talk about. You knew that, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Alright, get going."

"Thank you, Kaien."

I set down my pen and headed for the door, but Kaien called out before I could make it out of there, "Hey! Until you finally materialize your zanpakutou, you have to add a suffix to my name! Call me Kaien-dono from now on!"

I nodded, smirking as I left, though I knew I was in no position to. The air was cool outside, and once again I was sitting in my favorite spot next to the fish pond, cross-legged and eyes closed.

--

"Child. Child! Wake up!"

I felt something brush across my face—something soft and feathery; my zanpakutou spirit's tail welcomed me as I opened my eyes. The huge dragon was curled up again on the same northern platform, watching me carefully as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Child. Do you know who I am?"

I answered, "Of course not. Every time you try to tell me your name, it's blocked out by your spiritual pressure."

He laughed—it was more like a snarl than anything else; his lips curled back to reveal pointed daggers for teeth: the canines reaching to about three meters long, "My spiritual pressure? No, no, you are wrong about that. What is blocking your ears is your own. What you fail to realize is that it's your fault for not listening hard enough."

"My fault?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes. You were forced into this; therefore you have no desire to actually listen other than the fact that you might be punished by the Head Captain. Unlike you, others chose to go through with this on their own free will. Why do you think that is?"

"… I don't really know."

"That is your problem. You have no motive. Find some other reason to go through with this, and then you might hear my name."

"Please, just let me try again once more."

"Insolent child. You will not be able to hear me."

"I know, but I still want to try again."

He sighed, his piercing gaze focused on mine.

"Alright. My name is—"

I listened carefully, but to no avail. It was still lost in the dull roar from my spiritual pressure.

"What did I tell you? I said you weren't going to hear me."

"Then tell me something else—since I can't hear your name. How do I find this other motive you were telling me about?"

"The easiest thing is to find something to protect. Maybe it's friends or family; maybe it's something physical—like money; maybe they feel it's their duty to protect others even though they don't know who they are; or maybe they feel that they should protect the Soul Society or just the Rukongai. So tell me: what is it that you hold dear and precious to you? That will be your motive," he curled himself up tighter.

What did I hold precious in this afterlife? Certainly not many of the shinigami; not the Gotei 13, other than those I was friends with; and even that was limited to just Kaien and Ukitake. Then there was Rukia, Kira, Momo, and Renji from school… and then there was Toushirou and his grandmother. So… my friends? But the question is… could I actually give up my own life just to protect them? Would I?

"If you're not going to answer right away, then I'm going to sleep. The spell on me is still pretty tight since you still don't know my name."

"Spell?"

"A kido. It just makes me very tired and keeps me dormant most of the time. When the time when you actually hear my name comes, you'll wish this spell was still on me."

"Oh, well that's reassuring."

"Good night."

"Er… good night…"

--

The sun had finished setting when I had awakened, and I was left in darkness. My room was right there though, so after a quick shower and finishing up all the written work of my homework, I went to bed, still wondering what my zanpakutou's name was.

What is it that I want to protect?