Let me be honest - I'm kind of disappointed in you guys! But I'm stubborn and I'm going to finsih this story whether you like it or not! *grrrr*

But hey, please enjoy the next chapter!

CHAPTER 4 – Fighting with Lissa

When I woke up the next morning I had a weird feeling about the upcoming day. Something just didn't feel right and I knew that it was concerning Lissa.

So I hushed Christian to get up and ready to get over to Lissa's room real quick. As soon as we arrived, I could feel the uneasiness and anger radiating off of my best friend but when I looked at her questioningly she only shook her head and gave me a fake smile. I knew that she would come to me if she would have a problem and it would be rather sooner than later. To push her into telling wouldn't do any good for the matter.

This day was nearly the same routine as yesterday, with the only difference that nobody was attacking us today. During the day I felt Lissa's feelings getting stronger and at lunch I really started to worry. Darkness in form of anger swept through the bond from time to time towards me and it scared me. I had no idea what I did wrong and briefly I wondered if Lissa was using her magic too much again. I made a small note to myself to ask her about the medication she promised me to take.

After classes had finally finished, we all went to the library again to continue the study. Before everybody settled down, I took my chances and pulled Lissa into the corner of the library again. I had asked Eddie to look after Christian in my place for a while and so the boys settled down a few rows away. When everybody was out of hearing distance, I turned towards her and asked:

"What is the matter with you? I can feel the darkness again, Lissa!" My voice sounded a little bit scared.

"Nothing is the matter with me! YOU are the problem here!" she spat, absolutely unlikely the Lissa I knew. Her dark blue eyes were sparkling with anger, hate and something I wasn't quite sure where to place it. It was somewhere along the lines of a condescending look but I couldn't believe this since this was absolutely unlike Lissa.

"WHAT?" I cried out, absolutely not believing what she just said. Lissa has never talked in such a tone with me, never ever!

"Yesterday, the fight with the teachers. You didn't want to safe Christian in the first place! You would have let him die if this would have been real Strigoi!" she shouted at me, anger shaking her voice.

It was a very rare moment in which I had no retort because this was just so ridiculous!

"I would never let have Christian die on purpose and you know that!" I said after I had found my voice back.

"No, I don't know that. But I know for certain that you don't like my boyfriend!"

"Lissa,", I said, trying to calm her down, "I would never let your boyfriend die on purpose! I don't really like him that much is true I'll have to admit but I would never let you getting hurt so badly!"

"Oh really? I wouldn't like to find that out in a real fight! You where just standing there watching as Alberta attacked him!" Lissa had gone beyond reasoning and I rarely found my friend in her talking. It was absolutely not her and I was scared. Not that she would hit me or something in that way, but that I would also lose my best friend. Lissa was so lost in her anger and hatred that she would have to put up a really hard fight to return. Right now I didn't even see the willingness to do so.

"This is absolutely not true! I was too far away and I would have never made it right on time!" I tried to reason her.

"Oh no, you weren't even trying. You just stood there and watched!"

"Lissa, this is not true!" I said again, not knowing what else to say.

"You know what? I don't need you! I don't need a Guardian I can't trust! Go away Rosemary Hathaway! Go away!" she said, turning on her heel and storming off.

I stood there, glued to the spot, not knowing what to say or what to think. Could it be true that my best friend since kindergarten had just dumped me and said that she doesn't need me? I can't believe it! Why do suddenly all people close to me leave me?

The second time within a few weeks my heart broke. The using of my full name indicated that Lissa had meant what she said. She didn't need me and she told me to go away!

Slowly I crouched down with my back on a shelf, through my knees closer and wrapped my arms around them, trying to hold myself together. I would not cry, at least not in front of the whole school. But it was so hard and for the first time in my life I knew that I was going to lose this one fight. So I jumped up and ran straight back to my room, ignoring everyone that crossed my way.

When I had reached my room I had calmed down a little bit and my mind started working again. I couldn't understand why Lissa was acting so weird, as it had never been a trait of her personality to be so mean and selfish. Curious I tried to calm down, concentrate and soon I found myself connected to her.

"Lissa, what did you do?" Christian asked her, absolutely furious. I've never seen him this way and it made me a little bit happier.

"I just told her to leave. She was endangering you on purpose, Christian!" Lissa exclaimed.

Christian stepped closer to her. "From where did you get that crazy idea? She was far too way off from me to reach Alberta. How do you think she could have possibly saved me?" Oh, oh, he was really mad now, his deep blue eyes burning into Lissa's.

"Rose just stood there watching while you were in danger! Her job was to protect you and she failed miserably!" Like a small child Lissa stomped her food on the floor and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I will not risk losing you just because she is so selfish and cannot accept you!" Whoa, I was selfish now? Awesome, that's just what I wanted to hear!

"Lissa, you two have a bond and that's something rare and special. You've always wanted Rose to be you Guardian!" Christian tried again to talk some sense into her. If I actually would have been personally there I would have almost give him a hug. Oh, I started to like firefly!

"I don't care. I can get another Guardian that will be more responsible and reliable than her!"

With some effort I finally got out of Lissa's head again and found myself back in my room.

I couldn't believe what I've just heard. It was actually really hilarious but I couldn't get myself to laugh. I knew that I probably had lost my best friend now also and I hated that feeling, as I would always be connected to her until the day I die. I would actually never really be able to leave her and I was sure that she was absolutely aware of that.

Obviously she didn't want me anymore in her life, but it was not that easy for me to let her go. We've been best friends since that fateful day when I had hit a teacher with a book because she made us spell our names without end. At the age of four you really had other things in mind and didn't want to make a fool of yourself with names like Rosemary Hathaway and Vasilissa Dragomir. It had just been downright mean. From that day on we've been almost inseparable like twins.

During the bad incidents that happened at St. Vlad's, I had always stayed by her side and protected her, almost giving up my own friends. Then, when I had made the decision that I would get her out of the school, I wasn't the only one leaving friends behind, but somehow Lissa had never really cared what I had given up for her.

The two years we had stayed away from school had actually been the best one's in my life so far. Lissa started to loosen up and we quite enjoyed ourselves.

Returning to the Academy again after two years had brought back old memories and new enemies. I've never actually had the chance to tell her about Dimitri and I. Speaking of Dimitri, I laughed sarcastically. Now this wouldn't have been a problem anymore … but now it was too late.

I felt my sense of fighting returning finally. After Dimitri had left I had fallen into a deep hole and couldn't find the strength to climb out again. Now, after what Lissa has said about me, I felt my former strength returning and I promised myself to only look ahead and never look back again. What happened with Dimitri would never leave me and part of him would always be with me, I knew that with certainty.

But what happened with Lissa I couldn't really comprehend but I would go on and not fall to my knees in agony. I would fight and show her what she would be missing. In the end it certainly wouldn't be me who was hurt …

Liked it? Didn't like it? Please give me a review still! Thank you!

Lilian85