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CHAPTER 5 – Something about Alberta
The next morning I woke up early. The training with Dimitri had turned me into an early morning person and I knew I couldn't get back to sleep. Also it was time to set my plan into action.
So I stood up quickly, changing in my running outfit and went off to the track, which I knew would be empty at this early morning hour. Plugging my ear phones into my MP3-player, I switched into my running list of music and started my laps. After the 20 laps I usually do every morning just to stay in shape (and to have a small trip down memory lane to my time running with Dimitri), I returned to the gym and took a quick shower. Then I went directly to Alberta's office and knocked on her door. I knew that she was also a morning person and would be in her office at this hour already.
"Come in!" I heard her saying.
Alberta looked surprised when I entered her office. A gave her a quick nod which she shortly responded.
"I must say I'm surprised seeing you so early, Rose. What can I do for you?" Somehow I had the feeling that Alberta was one of those persons that could smell troubles one mile away. But she still was down to the point and I appreciated that very much. She always gave you the feeling that she treated you equally and this gave me the strength to tell what I was up to.
"Yesterday I had a huge fight with Lissa. She said that I haven't tried enough to protect Christian the day you attacked us. She told me to leave her and I certainly don't have the strength now to also fight for her." This short version must do, I decided. Alberta didn't like too many information and too much talk. She only wanted to know the facts to make a decision.
"What do you think? Could it be that you didn't protect him enough?" This was a test and I knew it. This was my chance to turn the tables.
"Well, I'm not sure. Maybe I could have. Personally I think I was too far off to reach him in time. I'm surely wouldn't have let him die on purpose!"
"I know that, Rose. So what do you want to do now?" Alberta asked, looking at me questioningly.
"I want to step down from the assignment and would rather change with someone else. Princess Dragomir made it completely clear to me that she didn't want me anywhere near her, so I think this would be the best way." I used Lissa's official name on purpose to distance me from her. It was hard in the beginning but I would come to terms with this situation.
"Well," Alberta hesitated shortly before she continued, "Please remember that this is your field trip and you can't step down from it. You're so close to finally graduating, Rose! And I don't have anyone you can just switch with. I would have to assign you to someone who doesn't have a Guardian now. And this could become very difficult to explain. And it might even cost you some points!"
"Yes, I know that, Guardian Petrov. But please, help me with this one. It's already difficult for me as it is." I started to beg her.
"I know that, Rose. Let me see if I can get you assigned to another Moroi, okay?" She said.
"Thank you, Guardian Petrov!" I stood up and walked towards the door of her office.
"Rose?" I heard her asking, my hand already on the door knob. I turned around slowly, afraid of the question she was about to ask me now. I knew for certain that it didn't concern Guardian business.
"Yes, Guardian Petrov?" I asked reluctantly.
"How are you coping?" Alberta asked, looking me straight into the eye. Lying wouldn't help me out for sure this time.
"It's alright. I'll get over it." I knew she was referring to the loss of Dimitri and the feelings I had for him.
"Are you sure?" Alberta challenged, "Let me tell you a story." She looked at me and when I gave a short nod for her to start, she did so.
"Some years ago I had been in the exact same position as you two had been in. I fell in love with another Dhampir Guardian and to my astonishment he returned the feelings I had for him. Slowly we built up some sort of a relationship, but always keeping it a secret. It was adventurous at times but also very difficult at others."
Alberta still looked at me and I knew that she wanted to tell me something by opening up to me. So I listened closely as she continued.
"The problem we had was that we both had been assigned to the same Moroi, a situation you two would have been in after graduating from the Academy. Our Moroi was oblivious to our relationship and one day it happened. The Moroi and we both Guardians where out that night, when a group of two Strigoi attacked. They had been young and we would have coped with them easily but when my boyfriend got hit badly, I made a huge mistake and lost focus. I only wanted to safe him, our Moroi I had forgotten about. The end of the story was that I had lost both – my boyfriend and the Moroi and believe me – I'm still trying to cope with it."
It was silent for s few minutes in her office, as I tried to understand what she was trying to tell me.
"Are you trying to tell me that I'll never really get over it? Is that what you're trying to say?" I asked her quietly.
"Yes, Rose. A love, so deep and pure that you both had, will never fade. I'm sure you've realized that much already. But I'm also telling you that one day you might find someone you can also love. Not the same way that you did love Dimitri, but nearly as much."
"What about the pain?" I asked her. "Will this ever fade?"
"No, at least not so fast." She answered, knowing that it wouldn't bring me anything but still being honest with me.
"Thank you, Guardian Petrov, I appreciate you being so open with me."
"Rose, I have watched your life during the last years closely and I always felt respect for you how you cope with problems life throws at you. I knew that you're mostly coping with them on your own, because Moroi tend to not see them. I also saw the changes you went through when Dimitri stepped into your life. You really became a different person and I was glad that you found something that could take your mind off things. But I also saw how it destroyed you when he left. You're a really good Guardian and you know what it means to be one. Sometimes even more than older Guardians do. Believe in yourself again, Rose. You're a fighter and I am absolutely sure that you'll arrange with the situation you're in now. And you will win, I know that!"
I could only smile thankfully at Alberta for her words of encouragement and with a short nod I left her office, her words circling in my head. She had given me something to think about and her words about me made me proud. I had never really been aware of her watching over me. But I felt the will to fight returning, something I had been missing during the last weeks.
I could do it and I would show everybody that Rose Hathaway was back in the play and I surely would conduct it. And now, step two of my plan would come into action: showing Lissa that I certainly wasn't depending on her to life a happy life.
At lunch Alberta approached me and told me about my new protégé: Mia Rinaldi. I was astonished to feel happiness when I heard her name. In Spokane she had proven to be someone you could count on at any time and since then, we got along really good. We would have so much fun together, I was absolutely sure.
Thank you for reading!
Lilian85
