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CHAPTER 13 – Wrong Sentence
As Dimitri had promised me, only a few days after my rescue we were on our way to Baia, his hometown in Russia. It would be the first time for me to get to know his family. I felt excited about it, knowing that Tasha had never been invited by him to go there with Dimitri together. Lissa had told me that quietly, after I had told her the news.
My parents hadn't been too excited about me leaving them again, but with Dimitri on my side, they knew that I would be safe. They'd even contacted another former Guardian that lived with his Moroi wife in Baia they had known. Mark and Oksana would check on us regularly. Oksana was a spirit user as well, as Dimitri had told me, so she would be able to help me if it gets worse.
Neither Dimitri nor I did mind, as Dimitri had told me already that he had known the couple since he was a small child. Still it would have to be kept a secret where Dimitri and I would be going to ensure my safety.
Lissa had insisted on healing my wounds for the past few days. Luckily she had managed to heal almost all of them, but some scars would remain. I had avoided her outside our healing sessions as best as I could. I didn't feel good enough to talk to her about what had happened back more than half a year ago. She had promised me though to wait for me and to keep in touch regularly.
The healing sessions helped regaining my body strength but I still felt my mind wander back too often for my liking. It's not as if I could erase my memories completely, but it would have been nice to at least erase some of them. But knowing that this was impossible, I would have to get used to living with them. Which certainly was the hardest part of the recovery process.
To my own astonishment, Dimitri had been the only male person I could endure in close proximity for a longer time. Every time my father or Kevin would get near me, my body started to shake uncontrollably, making me wish I could run away. Being with them in a room alone was absolutely impossible. When it had happened the first time, Dimitri had needed several hours to calm me back down again. My body was shaking so bad, that he had to lock his arms around my frame to keep me from running off. It had been difficult for everyone, since it had been my own father whom I rejected unintentionally, but I couldn't help it.
The worst time was staying alone at night. My nightmares were so bad, that I nearly didn't get any sleep at all because of the pictures and the screaming. The darkness freaked me out every time, the silence not really helping me to lull my mind to sleep. Dimitri then tried it with leaving the door open, but to no avail. Again I started to freak out until he came and lay down beside me. So we both could get at least a few hours of sleep. Dimitri stayed with me since that night.
Since it was November already, Dimitri had gotten me some warmer clothing, knowing that winter was holding its tight grip on Baia already. Saving some of the heat on the plain, I was curious as to how Siberia really looked like. Remembering the few times Dimitri had told me about it, it must be a really beautiful place.
"Rose, we're preparing for landing. We're almost there!" Dimitri said pure excitement in his deep voice.
"Calm down, Dimitri. It's still a little bit, isn't it?" I asked, remembering him telling me that we needed to get a car and drive to Baia the rest of the way.
Dimitri smiled at me, acknowledging that I had actually been listening to him. "Yes, but it'll only take two or three hours. It's not that much!"
When the airplane had landed, we left it together with the other passengers, walking to the conveyer belts to get our luggage. This was only a small airport, so we didn't have to face any new security checks. I was glad since I felt many people staring at me, making me feel uncomfortable. I knew that I was still pale and some of the wounds on my hands and arms hadn't healed fully yet, but it still made me feel uncomfortable, when people looked at me. Feeling my uneasiness, Dimitri dropped his arms around my shoulders and gently pushed me towards the rental cars.
Quickly we had gotten our car and where on the road to Baia. I could feel Dimitri's excitement rising each mile we got nearer and I had to fight back a smile at his happiness. Due to the daily Guardian business, many didn't see their families often. In Dimitri's case it was even more complicated with his family living on a different continent. Only yesterday he had told me that he had seen his family last winter for the last time.
"How are you feeling?" Dimitri suddenly asked after we had been on the road for some time now. "Do you have any pain?"
"I'm good. The pain is bearable." I shrugged. I know that everybody thought I was crazy when saying that pain was bearable, but after having to endure so much pain for such a long time, I had found a way to cope with it. I know it sounds crazy, but it was just like that.
Dimitri's reaction showed that I had been right. He stomped on the break, pulling at the wheel to get the car at the side of the road. Regarding that it was freezing out there and the street glazed over, he did a good job without getting us killed. Turning his face towards me, he said "Pain is never bearable, Rose. Don't tell me lies! I hate it when somebody tries to tell me a lie!"
Steve stood back up, turning around to look at the door. "I just hope you're not lying. I hate lying and I will not be afraid to punish you for every lie you tell me."
It was there, the memory. I couldn't fight it back when the scenery in front of my eyes suddenly changed back into the darkness and coldness of the room, seeing Steve looming over me, threatening me. The fear I had felt back then returned with full force, making my body shake and forcing me to crouch down, making myself smaller. Putting my hands over my eyes, I tried to push back the images into the depth of my mind, but it had been too real. I heard his voice. I felt the promise behind his words, remembering the pain he had inflicted on my already tortured body after he had found out about my lie.
"Roza!" suddenly Dimitri's voice pushed itself into my thoughts, helping me to get rid of the memory. "Roza! It's okay. You're safe!" When his strong arms wrapped around me tenderly, I slowed down my erratic breathing with force, allowing myself to return to reality again.
Still shaking visibly, I turned my gaze up to his face, looking down at me. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Don't be." Dimitri smiled sadly, "It was my fault. I said something that reminded you, didn't I?"
I nodded my head shortly, not really wanting to give him an explanation about the reason. But I had promised to always be honest with him, so I waited for him to ask, bracing myself inwardly.
"What was it? What trigged off the memory?" he finally asked. Burying my head against his chest, I sighed before pulling myself together and started to tell him. This actually would be the first time to reveal something of the past. I didn't know how he would take this one especially, but I would only find out when telling him.
"He had tried to break me, not only my body but also my mind. Breaking my body wasn't that difficult … " I nearly chocked admitting this. Dimitri would know what this meant, I was certain. "But he couldn't break my mind so easily. So he started to … to do it more often." I paused, taking in a shaky breath. I still couldn't look up at him.
"What do you mean with 'it', Rose?" Dimitri asked silently.
"The punishment." I admitted, feeling his arms around me tighten. "Well, it got worse and he nearly had me at my breaking point, but then something happened …"
Silence stood between us, before Dimitri carefully pushed on. "What happened, Roza?"
"I started to hear your voice every time I got close to give up." I admitted, waiting anxiously for his reaction.
Since he had left me for Tasha before our relationship would grow deeper, I was certain that he had feelings for her. Probably more than for me, though he promised to stick with me through this. Fearing for my heart to be broken again when he would return back to her, I told myself that this was only because of his mentor feelings for me. Nothing more. I didn't want the hope to grow.
Now, with my confession out between us, he could guess on the deep feelings I still had for him, buried deep down in my heart. And I was afraid of him pushing me away again as he did almost one year ago. So I waited patiently for his reaction.
"Oh Roza." He sighed after a while, pulling me closer to him to rest his chin on top of my head.
When he didn't say anything else for a while, I quickly finished my story.
"I must have said your name one time. He came into my room, asking me who you where and I had to lie to him. I didn't want anything to happen to you. He threatened me that if he would ever find out who you are, he promised to kill you after he would have punished me severely." I wanted this to be over, so we could get back on the road and my mind to get off these things. "Well, let's just say that he'd found out who you are."
Dimitri still held me wrapped up tightly in his embrace, never loosening it up. I know that this was something he couldn't have known nor imagined and so I could only guess about his thoughts.
When he hadn't moved after a while, I cautiously tried to wriggle my way out of his arms, looking at his face for the first time after my confession. His face showed the shock he was feeling. "Are you okay?" I asked him, my hand slowly caressing his cheek.
"Yeah, I just had never thought that … " He didn't find anything else to finish the sentence, so he could only pull his hand through his hair, easing some of the stress.
"I'm sorry. Let's go to Baia, okay?" I asked, smiling up at him. I wanted him to get these thoughts off his mind, not wanting to worry him.
Giving me a half smile, he started the engine and steered the car back on the road.
"We're almost there." Was the only thing he said for the rest of the ride. Only half an hour later we pulled up in front of small two story house.
"Welcome home!" Dimitri smiled at me, gesturing for me to follow him to the house.
I hope you liked this one. As I've not really described what happened to Rose during those aweful three months, I have decided to get into a little more detail by using these flashbacks. I hope that's okay for you. If not, tell me! And for everyone who wondered how Steven died - you will get the answer, I promise. But only a little bit later.
So, but now give me a small review! Thanks a lot!
Lilian85
