"Tch, is that... is that all you've got... Syugoryuu!" I screamed, picking myself up off the ground using the hilt of the now chipped zanpakutou in my hands. Blood trickled down my face and into my eyes; it stung, but only a little compared to the pain of my side, which I clutched desperately to keep the blood from flowing.

"You just love to push it..." Syugoryuu said, picking up one of the stray zanpakutou on the ground and tossing it to me, "Get up."

I did as commanded and picked up the other sword, dumping the broken one onto the pile with the rest of the worthless fakes. My opponent raised his own sword, but unlike me, he wasn't at all tired. It had been nearly three hours now and it was already nightfall; we'd been at it, back and forth, but the only one that showed signs of battle was me. I was covered in cuts and wounds and bruises. Syugoryuu had none.

"You only have an hour left. I suggest you get a move on and figure out which sword is the real one."

"I don't need you to remind me."

"Would you like a hint?"

"Stop mocking me!"

He smirked, "Alright, alright, relax," his tongue wiped up the blood on his blade, "this won't take too much longer."

He charged, a smile stretched across his face as he aimed for my chest. I slid to my right, twisting enough to slam my katana down on his zanpakutou. But it cracked in half, leaving me without a weapon almost immediately. Syugoryuu smirked, twisting the broken half out of my hands and slicing down my arm. I grimaced, grabbing my arm and jumping back out of his reach. There was another katana nearby, so I lunged for it, desperate for another weapon.

Syugoryuu was laughing, almost hysterically as he chased after me. He had once explained to me how much he loved fighting, how his blood boiled whenever he held a sword. I had never expected him to love it so much as this; he didn't care whether I lived or died.

As soon as I grabbed the hilt, he pierced my left hand, snickering when I cried out in pain. I yanked my hand away, snatching up the hilt with my right. But Syugoryuu was fast; he snapped his wrist down and immediately cords shot from the hilt and wrapped around my wrist and the blade. He pulled back, splintering the newfound katana as well as leaving thousands of tiny cuts bleeding all over my hand and lower forearm.

"Gah!" I screamed, feeling the sharp sting and watching as my sword fell into pieces in my hand.

"Ha! Did you really think you could beat me? Want to know a little secret? Only two of your predecessors ever conquered my bankai! They were both much more experienced as lieutenants and older than you! Not to mention they were actual souls born here in the Soul Society! Not some sniveling fifteen year old girl from the World of the Living!"

"Shut up!" I shrieked, "You're the one who chose me! Like hell I wanted this! You think this is fun? I never wanted to be a shinigami! I never wanted to die! But is that my fault? No! I keep getting this stuff pushed on me; I have no choice! So shut up, Syugoryuu! You chose me to be your new wielder, so you're gonna have to put up with me no matter what! You can go ahead and destroy my soul! See if I care!"

"You're not listening!" He taunted. I stared at him like he was crazy, "Excuse me?"

"You're. Not. Listening. You're not paying any attention to what you're supposed to be doing. That's why you're failing! Have you ever thought of listening for your true zanpakutou? Seeing if you could hear it call out to you? NO! You've never once stopped and listened! Ever wondered why each fake zanpakutou keeps breaking on you? It's because you're failing miserably! Listen for it, dang it! Listen!"

He lunged again, the cords whipping around to catch their victim. I dodged, flash-stepping backward to give myself a greater distance from him, yet have a close enough proximity to another katana. I grimaced, "Well how the heck can I stop and listen with you attacking me every other second!" I looked around for him, but he had disappeared.

"Find your balance! You have to be able to be present within your inner world at the same time as fighting your opponent!"

His voice came from behind; so I spun around, but I didn't have a weapon to block him. Instead, I jumped backward again, but neared another katana.

"Balance?"

"Balance!"

I grabbed the katana and lashed out, stabbing him in his shoulder; but as soon as the metal pierced his skin, my mind grew dark, and I was lost in his cry. I opened my eyes to see the tower of my inner world again. It was quiet, and Syugoryuu was nowhere to be seen. This was my chance; I could now listen for my real zanpakutou.

There. I could hear it. It was faint, but audible. It was up at the top of the tower. Great. I rolled my eyes and sprinted for the stairs, wondering what the heck was going on in the outside world. I grew anxious, not quite sure what to find at the top. Surely it wasn't going to be easy.

What I did find was something I had not expected. Syugoryuu was perched in the middle of the tower, my sword in its sheath clamped in his mouth. He was wagging his tail, as if happy to see me despite all he was doing to me in the outside world.

"Syugoryuu?"

He tossed me the sword and sheath and barked, smiling. I chuckled, "I swear you are part dog. So, are you actually in a good mood?"

He barked again and I scratched his nose before shaking my head, "What am I doing? You're not my pet and you can talk. Use English!" I looked at my zanpakutou, "So, do I draw my sword and cry bankai? Or do I have to do something else that you're not telling me?"

Syugoryuu nodded, so I did as I was instructed, tossing aside the sheath and taking a deep breath. I focused and shouted, "BANKAI!"

In an instant, my spiritual pressure skyrocketed. I knew which sword was the real one. Syugoryuu roared and ran at me, disappearing when he should have hit me. My eyesight wavered and blackened, and I heard one last roar before I found myself holding a fake sword against Syugoryuu's. I was back.

I grabbed ahold of his hilt and kicked him in the chest, wrenching the sword away from him and tossing my own away. I held his zanpakutou with both hands and cried, "Bankai! Abaremawaru* Syugoryuu!"

My spiritual pressure did the same thing it had when I was in my inner world. Syugoryuu's face was frozen in surprise as he faded away. My eyesight blackened. My fingernails grew to claws and my hair lengthened until it twisted into a single long strand that looked like Syugoryuu's tail.

This... this was my bankai? A simple transformation? But what good did it do? Make me faster? Make me stronger? What?

"It won't be long before you start to feel your blood boil. You basically gain some of my traits with your state of bankai, including the bloodlust... do you remember how I told you that there would be both good and bad to wielding me? When you released me from my sleeping kido? Well, this is what I mean. The longer you stay in this form, the more you lose yourself. You begin to lose a state of consciousness and go on a rampage. The good side is that you gain immeasurable strength and stamina. You can change your zanpakutou in and out of its shikai constantly. You'll be able to withstand pain longer and become a killing machine... with the cost of your sanity."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Now I don't want my bankai."

"It came with me, kid."

"Kid!"

"You heard me. Now, just calm your spiritual pressure and your bankai will disappear. Take a deep breath and relax."

I did so, and my physical appearance changed back to normal. I had done it. I had achieved my bankai. I wasn't exactly excited though. If anyone found out and told Ukitake-or even worse, Yamamoto-then I was going to be forced into a captain position even faster.

"By the way, did you even realize that I didn't have to materialize and you released your bankai in one go? Impressive. Now if only you could tell someo-"

"No."

"Oh come on! At least tell Toushirou! Or Ukitake! If you keep it a secret that means you can't use it as much and that means I don't get used very often at all! Besides, you barely even use your shikai because you're better at hand to hand combat. Don't I get a little bit more use now?"

"Toushirou?"

"Oh jeez, don't change the subject."

"Oh yeah... he's still mad at me, isn't he...?"

"Well, duh. But back to the whole bankai thing. Listen, I would really appreciate-"

"I'd better go talk to him."

"Uh, do you realize how beat up you are right now?"

"I don't care at this point."

"Well you'll have to explain to him what happened. So, will you tell him about your bankai?"

"If I do, will you shut up?"

"Deal."

"Alright then," I sheathed my sword and checked my wounds, making sure they weren't bad enough that I would have to see one of the fourth squad members. Nix that... I was covered in blood and my forehead was still bleeding, same with my side. I decided that they weren't that bad, so I first went to my room to use some of my own bandages and cleaned my head wound.

Once I was somewhat decent, at least for out in public, I left the barracks and walked down the road only a short while before I was halted by a messenger. He was one of the wartime messengers and had a similar message.

"Mamori-fukutaicho, these are special wartime orders given specifically to lieutenants and captains by Yamamoto-soutaicho. All seated shinigami, lieutenants, and captains are given full permission to carry their zanpakutou in the city. The full release ban has been lifted, therefore your full power may be used if necessary or by choice. Also, it was to be informed that Renji Abarai-fukutaicho has been defeated by the ryouka. Seeing as a lieutenant such as yourself has been defeated by a mere ryouka, I suggest that you watch yourself Mamori-fukutaicho. We don't know who's next. Please be careful."

"Thank you. I will. You are dismissed."

He nodded and disappeared using shunpo. I stared at the dirt road and sighed, "Well, Renji... looks like that Kurosaki kid won. Those ryouka were right after all... Hope you didn't get beat up too bad." I shook my head, "What am I getting down for. I gotta go apologize to Toushirou and I really don't want to already be in a bad mood when I do."

I reorganized myself mentally and continued on the road again for the barracks. It wasn't long before I reached them; however, when I arrived and asked Matsumoto for Toushirou's whereabouts, she replied that she had no idea. She did say that I was allowed to stay in his office until he returned since I was a lieutenant and-much to my horror-his 'lover'. I was surprised that she didn't ask about my minor cuts and bruises, but that was Matsumoto for you. Always had her head in the clouds unless it was really urgent.

So I waited. And waited. And waited some more until I finally decided to take a nap on one of the couches in hope that it would pass the time. Besides, I was cut up and tired, so a nap sounded great. It was short-lived nevertheless, since I got a sharp smack to the head when he finally came back.

"Why are you sleeping on my couch? Can't you be lazy in your own barracks?" He asked irritably while he sat down at his desk.

"Why do you have to be so moody? Can't you figure out a nicer way to wake someone up?" I snapped back. And my good mood just flew out the window...

"Oh, I'm moody? Give me a break. You might as well admit you have split personalities. Either that or you're bipolar. Take your pick."

"Well at least I'm not the size of a five year old!"

"No, but your IQ might as well be!"

"White-haired freak!"

"Selfish waste of life!"

We stared each other down, both furious. It was silent. Dead silent. But one of us had to give eventually, so I looked away and crossed my arms. I ducked my head slightly and muttered, "I didn't come here to argue with you."

"Then why the hell did you come?"

"I came to... I... I came to..." my voice got real low, "...I came to apologize."

"What?"

"I came to apologize okay? I wanted to say I was sorry."

"So the best way to do that was to start another fight?"

"No... you started it. Besides, you should know that when someone gets testy with me I snap back. It's your own fault since you just started out with a bad mood. I came here with a good mood ready to apologize but since you weren't here and I waited for quite a while, I took a nap. Jeez."

"So you expect me to forgive you. Just like that. After you lied to me for several years?"

"I... yeah... kind of. What else am I supposed to do? I'm not happy. You're not happy. You're never happy! So I came here to apologize in the hopes of making us both happy in the end! Is that so wrong?" I paused as I remembered something I had been taught when I was little, "That's love. Wanting what's best for the other person. That right there is what love is. Wanting the other to be happy. And I want you to be happy. So I guess you could say that... I love you..." I watched as he raised an eyebrow, but then I quickly dug my face in my hands, "I'm really bad and awkward at this... uh, okay... It's kind of hard to want you to be happy when we're both mad at each other. Therefore I want to apologize."

I looked up nervously, my face a deep red. He walking toward me, and he stopped by the table in front of me, arms folded. He sighed, looked up at the ceiling and then back down at me.

"I forgive you."

"Do you really mean it?"

His expression softened, "Yes. I forgive you. And I want what's best for you too. Don't ever think that I don't. I haven't been mad at you all this time. I just wanted to hear you say sorry," he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, "But we'll discuss this later. I have a more important matter that involves you."

*Rampaging/to rampage