"BANKAI!" I shouted, my reiatsu forcing up a flurry of dust and dirt that surrounded me. Within seconds, my bankai had transformed me and my sword was in its shikai. The debris began to settle around me; and even though I still couldn't see Daisuke, I prepared myself, holding onto my hilt tight.

The twisted tail formed from the ends of my lengthened hair swat away some of the dust. The metal crescent-shaped barbs on the ends of the whips dragged in the dirt, making soft tinkling sounds as they scraped together. There. His figure showed up in the dust. Without thinking, I lunged forward, raising my arm. I came upon him faster than even I was expecting. The speed was incredible. It was the speed of shunpo but only the work of jogging.

But because I wasn't used to the pace, I missed him completely; he didn't even so much as flinch. I was wide open, but he didn't make a move. So, I jumped back, moving to the side as to come at him from behind. As incredible as the speed was, it was hard to control where I was going. I would go farther than I wanted, or too fast to where I missed my target. And Syugoryuu wasn't even going to try to help teach me.

I whipped my arm across my body, the ropes extending from my zanpakutou hilt following fluidly, the metal barbs cutting into his left forearm. That seemed to wake him up. After tearing my shikai from his arm, he pulled his zanpakutou from off his back, drew it, and slung his sheath over his shoulder again.

"Wanna try that again?" He asked, fidgeting with the toothpick in his mouth. I pulled back the whips and smirked, "Why, didn't have enough? Well here, then, have some more!" I disappeared behind him, jumped up and hit him with a flying back kick. He went skidding across the dirt, rolling several times until he finally slowed down enough to stop himself.

Daisuke picked himself up, rubbing his head, "That was some kick. Guess that's a perk, right?" He asked, feeling his mouth for his toothpick. It was gone, and he looked pretty annoyed by that fact.

"Yeah, I guess it's a good thing. In my opinion there's more bad than good." I shrugged, and I noticed something red trickling down my left arm. It was blood. I pulled up my sleeve to find identical cuts that were on his arms. The only difference was that my sleeve was untouched. Again, a downside to my stupid zanpakutou.

But what surprised me was that the cuts didn't hurt at all. In fact, had they not bled, I'm sure I would have never noticed them. I remembered Syugoryuu saying that I would be able to withstand pain longer, but I had never imagined not being able to feel some of the pain.

"I never laid a finger on ya. Why'dya got all that blood on ya?"

"Now if I answered all of your questions, you'd soon know all my zanpakutou's secre-gah! Ack!" I clutched my chest and bent over. The pain was insane. It spread through my whole body. I screamed, but as quickly as it had come over me, it left. My mind clouded over and I found myself unable to move my body. Instead, it moved me. I straightened up, wobbling as I did.

Then, it felt as if I was being swallowed up, some other force coming up from inside me to take my place. I was shoved back into the recesses of my mind, and watched in horror as my own raging subconscious took over.

My lips curled into a wicked smile, baring my fangs as I lunged forward, laughing maniacally. I lifted my right hand and swung downward, the whips finding their mark and catching Daisuke in the shoulder, tearing his flesh mercilessly. I could feel my own shoulder rip apart, but the pain was still numbed. I jumped in front of him and made a wide sweep for his face with my claws, but he dodged. He didn't get far enough away though, and I took a chunk out of his stomach, still laughing.

But that phase ended. My instincts seemed to switch gears, and my reiatsu spiked higher than ever. I struggled against the force that I myself produced, and a fierce growl erupted from my mouth. Daisuke was forced backward, hitting the dirt and rolling backwards a few times.

"Bakudo 62, Hyapporankan!"

In my frenzied state, I didn't recognize it at first, but as soon as one of the light rods struck the ground next to me, I jumped away, running every which way to avoid the kido. I turned around to see if they were over, but two jammed themselves through my stomach and left shoulder and pinned me into the dirt. I writhed and roared as I tried to get up, grabbing the rods and trying to pull them out. Ukitake appeared beside me.

With a howl, I crushed the rods and leapt to my feet. I lunged for my own captain, but he simply flash-stepped behind me, "Bakudo 61, Rikujokoro!" The beams jammed into my abdomen, and everything went black.

When I awoke, I was lying flat on my back, on the grassy cliff over the training grounds. My body hurt everywhere, most especially in my shoulder and my stomach. Ukitake and Daisuke were chatting nearby, smiling and laughing. My zanpakutou was back in its sheath. I could barely remember anything that had happened. My memory was foggy and full of blank spots. What had I done?

Daisuke looked back over in my direction, and when I grimaced from the pain, he waved, "Yo," another toothpick hanging out the corner of his mouth. Ukitake turned to my direction and smiled, "Ah, Nazeka, you're awake. How are you doing?"

"I hurt all over." I replied hoarsely.

"It seems your bankai takes a greater toll on you than we first thought. Unfortunately, it seems we're starting from square one with you. You barely lasted seven minutes. What do you remember?"

"Not much. It's kind of hazy." I attempted to sit up, but ended up staring at the sky from my back again when I went dizzy from pain. I was actually wishing that I was using my bankai so the pain would be numbed.

"That's not surprising."

"How long was I out?"

"About an hour."

I tried to sit up again, bracing myself for the excruciating throbbing in my shoulder and stomach. This time I succeeded.

"Are you ready to try again?"

I looked at Ukitake like he was insane, "What! Again! Are you crazy? I mean, I barely lasted seven minutes like you said and look what I did to Daisuke!" I motioned towards his stomach, "What else did I do?"

"Ya tried to attack da Cap'n." Daisuke said flatly. "See? That's why I can't use my bankai! I'll attack anyone! I could end up killing one of you!"

Ukitake glared at Daisuke, "Thanks. You really boosted her confidence."

"That's what I'm here for, sir." He dropped down into the arena.

"Nazeka, you're going to go into those training grounds and use your bankai. You can't keep fearing it. You need to control it. You understood that earlier, why can't you understand that now?" Ukitake said sternly. He had never been this way toward me before. I was taken aback by how angry he seemed.

"I-I... I just wish I had never learned my bankai."

"But you know what, Nazeka? You can't take it back so just face it already! It's a part of you and you need to accept that! It's like being afraid of your own shadow! Now act like the mature lieutenant you are and show me that you want to control it!"

I froze up, not able to say anything or move. He was calling me weak, a total coward, and I couldn't help but feel he was right. I stood up, fists clenched and body shaking. I was afraid. I was afraid of what I could do. But now wasn't the time for that. I had to own up to what I had started. I couldn't shy away from something this trivial. I had the power to control it, and I would prove it.

"Well, Nazeka?" Ukitake asked, taking another sip of his tea.

"Just be ready to use a binding spell." I said, sliding down the rocky side of the arena. I heard him call after me, "I just hope I won't have to use it."

I stood across from Daisuke, who was chewing on his toothpick impatiently. I drew Syugoryuu, my knuckles white from clenching the hilt so hard. I couldn't stop shaking; but I had to do this, even if my body hurt like hell.

Daisuke smirked, "Done cryin' like a baby?"

"Don't underestimate me, amateur." I spat. He laughed, "Gimme a break. Why don'cha go hide in yer room under yer covers?"

I held out my zanpakutou again, "Bankai!"

"Seems yer serious, ain'tcha?"

The cloud of dust surrounded me again. The pain was gone, my senses on edge. Yet somehow, I managed to let him get past my guard. "Boo," he muttered behind me, his blade against my neck. I grabbed the blade with my left hand and elbowed him in the stomach with my right. I let go and jumped away, bouncing every which direction to keep him from following.

This time, I wasn't going to approach cautiously. I was going all out. I was going to focus simply on fighting and hopefully suppress the insanity inside that way. I spun around in time to see him holding out his palm, "Hado 33, Sokatsui!"

It wasn't hard to dodge from the distance... at least, that's what I had thought. The blue fire rammed into my tail, and I yelped, slamming it into the dirt to crush the fire. He laughed, "Ya sounded like a little cat gettin' his tail trampled!"

"That stings, dammit!" I yelled, pointing two fingers at him, "Hado 4, Byakurai!" The blue lightning shot through the air and hit him square in the chest. He fell back onto the dirt, "What, is this gonna end up a battle of kido er somethin'?" He moaned from the ground.

I switched my zanpakutou from its shikai into its sealed form and lunged for him. He managed to jump back on his feet just in time and countered, our blades hitting hard with a loud clang. I backed off, only to strike again, coming in from the right. He parried yet again, so I pushed his sword down and high kicked him from the right as well. I hit his head, knocking down onto his side.

He held up his blade in preparation for another attack, but I stepped on his hand. "Hado, 54, Haie-" I went rigid, unable to finish the spell. He pushed me off his hand and knocked me over. I lay there motionless, my eyes wide. Then, slowly, my mouth began to open and I screamed. My time in control was done.

I began writhing on the ground, my claws digging into the earth as my subconscious took over again. Daisuke stood over me. I was there, then gone. I was behind him, my leg already rotating around to kick him in the head again. He held up his hand and took the blow, skidding in the dirt.

I tried to stop, I really did, but the more I struggled in my mind, the more I seemed to be pulled back. My body was on its own again. I began laughing uncontrollably again. My subconscious thought this was fun. I whirled around to see Ukitake already standing behind me, "Bakudo 61, Rikujoko-" He didn't have time to finish. I lunged at him, grinning madly. He avoided me, but just barely. My claws left only a single line on his cheek.

He spun around and repeated himself, "Bakudo 61, Rikujokoro!" This time, he finished, and the six rods jammed into my stomach. I was still awake though, despite my inability to move. He approached me cautiously, afraid I might wiggle my way out of that kido like I did with Hyapporankan. But there was no way out this time. I was completely immobile; even so, I kept snarling.

He pried my sword from my hand and tossed it away. Immediately, I was sane again, my bankai unable to stay without my zanpakutou in my hand. Ukitake released me from the kido, and I fell to my knees, panting. "H-How did I do?" I asked, curious about the time. I needed some sort of good news.

"Ten minutes."

"Really?"

He paused before answering again, "Yes." I couldn't help but wonder if he was lying to me, but I just wanted to hear some good news. I laid back, spread eagle on the dirt and sighed, "I think I'm done for the day."

"I think you are too. We ought to get you to the fourth squad." Ukitake said, smiling. Daisuke frowned, "Oi, what 'bout me?" He pulled out another toothpick, as he had lost the other one earlier.

"Yes, yes, you too, Daisuke." It seemed Ukitake was in a good mood again. I was just happy that I seemed to have lengthened the time, even if it was ten minutes. If I could do that a few times a week for a month, I was sure that I could lengthen the time significantly. Things were starting to look up.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" I shrieked, clutching the bedsheets in order to keep me from squirming so much. "Mamori-fukutaicho, I'll be done in a minute. You need to keep still!" The nurse said sternly, peeling off the bandages on my shoulder. They were glued to my skin and they pulled at every nerve when they were being torn off.

In a few more minutes, the bandages were off, and she was pressing a cold wet rag to the tender wound. I'd been there for two weeks, and the days seemed to be growing longer and longer. I wanted out, and I wanted it now.

"How much longer?" I asked, and the nurse replied, "Well, I still have to take care of the one on your hand and the bandages on your stomach, but after that I should be finished."

I sighed, "No, I meant, how much longer until I can leave?"

"You should be out by tomorrow morning. They're healing rather quickly thanks the healing kido, and if you stay in bed and rest, you should be up and ready to go no problem."

"That's a relief."

She put a new set of bandages on my shoulder and moved to my hand. Since there were less bandages, it didn't hurt as much. Thankfully, the cut was mostly healed up, so she didn't put any new bandages on. Then, came the most painful part: my stomach. It was pretty much a rerun of my shoulder. But after half an hour of washing the wound a little, she put fresh bandages on and got up to leave.

"Thank you," I said.

"It's no problem at all. Call me if you need anything else, Fukutaicho." She opened the door to leave. Waiting to come inside was Ukitake, who looked grim. The nurse moved out the way and let him come in, closing the door behind him as she left.

"What's the matter, Captain?" I asked. He took a deep breath, "I'm afraid I have some bad news for you."

I hesitated, panicking inside, "Yes?"

"Take a look at this." He handed me a document that was signed specifically for captains.

At the moment, Squads 3, 5, and 9 are lacking captains. With the hovering threat of Aizen and his associates, we cannot leave this position unfilled. Therefore, I, Yamamoto, and two other captains have discussed the capabilities of a possible candidate: Nazeka Mamori, current lieutenant of the 13th Squad. As it was the understanding that she would become a shinigami in order to become captain under my decision, as well as one of the few who know bankai, she has been selected as the new captain for a squad. The placement has not yet been determined, but will be announced on Wednesday at the Captain's Meeting.

It continued on, but I couldn't read anymore. The words became fuzzy and the paper dropped from my hands. Only one thing could come from my mouth, "Who told?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? I only told you and Toushirou!"

"Daisuke knew about it, and I'm sure that some people who recognized your spiritual pressure figured it out when you were training."

"Two captains... who were they?"

"I don't know. It's specifically kept anonymous to avoid biased decisions."

"But it's already biased! Yamamoto-soutaicho wanted me to become captain the moment I got here! I don't understand what he sees in me!"

"But apparently, he's not the only one. The decision was unanimous. The two anonymous captains both decided that you were the best option, and therefore as it is the Soutaicho's command that you become captain, you have no say in the matter."

"This isn't fair! I can't believe they just pulled this on me two days before!"

"At least they're giving you a chance to get ready. You can pack up and say good-bye tomorrow. But it's not like you're entirely leaving. You'll be able to visit, you're still in the same city and we'll both be captains."

I couldn't argue with that logic. But still, I was ticked off at Yamamoto-soutaicho. The nerve of him to just make the decision without informing me. I sighed, "Guess I'd better prepare what to say in front of all of you. Gotta make it look like I appreciate the promotion, huh?"

"I'll let you think on that," he picked up the paper, "Looks like I'll be out one lieutenant for a while."

"You'll be fine. You've got two third seats after all!"

"That's true. I'll see you tomorrow then, Nazeka."

So much for things starting to look up.

The next afternoon, I stood in front of the entire thirteenth squad, nervous, my stomach not right, and absolutely upset. I didn't want to do this. Sure, Ukitake was right about what he had said earlier. I was going to still see everyone. But the fact that I was leaving... It was like going from a foster home to another one. A whole new family with a whole new personality. I had grown up in the Soul Society with this squad.

"Ahem... Uh... I know you guys have heard the announcement. I'm going to become a new captain. I still don't know which squad yet, but that's going to be announced tomorrow. Um... well, I'm going to miss you all. I've lived here my entire Soul Society life and you guys are like my family. I'm sad to be going. If I had a choice, I would've stayed your lieutenant for the rest of my life. It's not like I'll be leaving you guys forever. I'll see all of you around and I'll still visit from time to time. Just... wish me luck, guys. I'm not sure what I'm expecting yet, so it'll definitely be an adventure. But, uh, yeah, wish me luck everyone!"

I sat down next to Ukitake, who raised his glass, "A toast for Nazeka, that she'll have a wonderful squad like our own!" Everyone drank from their sake cups and I did as well, smiling. I couldn't help it. It was nice of them to have this little party for me.

Everyone was having a good time. I was lucky to have been a part of this squad at all. A nice meal, a few drinks, pleasurable company, and all were happy. It was simpler than I could've imagined. I just hoped that my new squad would be like this.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Besides, Yamamoto will stay off your back now that you're a captain, so things may just go smoother from now on."

Well, look who decided to show up after two weeks. You've been rather quiet lately.

"I've had nothing to say."

That's rare.

"You wore me out though, using bankai two times in a day... I'm rusty, you've gotta give me a break!"

You're rusty? Please, you're a zanpakutou. You've gotta be kidding me.

"Why do you think it starts out so low? You've gotta give me a few tries before the limit goes up. A few more practices and you might be up to an hour."

And why didn't you let me know of this sooner!

"...I figured I'd get this sort of reaction."

You're impossible.

"Baby steps, Nazeka, baby steps."

Oh, just shut up.

A few hours later, the party disbanded and I said good-bye to everyone one final time. I returned to my room and packed everything but my bed and clothes for the next day. There wasn't much, and I was appreciative of my acquired ability to keep things relatively clean in my room. It had certainly been different when I was alive.

I didn't sleep well at all. I was still nervous, frustrated, and upset. The hours were long, and I slept maybe three hours. I was just hoping I didn't look too tired for the Captain's Meeting.

I walked to the first squad's barracks- to the meeting room. The captains were already in the room, and the doors were shut. Lieutenant Sasakibe was waiting by the doors for me, "Ah, Mamori-fukutai-oh, sorry, I mean Mamori-taicho, I have a few instructions. When you are called in, I have here your haori. You will trade in your lieutenant badge for it when Yamamoto-soutaicho officially announces your squad and your position as Captain."

"Oh, ah... thank you, uh... Sasakibe-san," I stuttered, my nerves on overload. The nervousness from earlier had turned to a restlessness. I couldn't wait any longer. I just had to get it over with.

I heard through the doors, "Nazeka Mamori, enter!" I took that as my cue, and Sasakibe opened the doors. I walked in and felt ten pairs of eyes boring into me. I couldn't take it. I wasn't ready for this. I could barely stand in front of them, let alone be one of them. I kneeled down in respect and bowed my head, an automatic response.

"Get up, Mamori. Today you are being promoted to captain, therefore you should respect and demand respect. Turn in your lieutenant badge and take your place among us." Yamamoto-soutaicho commanded, and I immediately felt like I had done something wrong by kneeling. I untied my lieutenant badge from my arm and handed it to Sasakibe. He in turn held out my haori, and I glanced at the number on its back before I put it on. It was sleeveless, like many of them.

"I now introduce the new Squad Nine Captain, Nazeka Mamori."

There was silence, and I realized that they were expecting me to say something. My face must have been blood red, and I couldn't bare to look at anyone. I stammered, "Uh, thank you very much. I'm very honored," that was a total lie, "Since I don't know exactly what to expect and because this was such short notice, I please ask for your advice. I hope to get to know all of you."

There was again, silence, but I was given a place to stand: in between Komamura-taicho and Kenpachi-taicho... not exactly the most convenient place... or friendliest. A few more minor announcements that made absolutely no sense to me were made (I assumed I would find out what they meant later), and then the meeting was over. We were dismissed. I felt the tension lift just a little as fellow captains left one by one.

Ukitake approached me, a huge smiled on his face, "Congrats, Nazeka, you did it. That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "You've got to be kidding me. Those were the scariest moments of my life! I've never been that nervous or had that much pressure on me before!"

He laughed, "Well it's over and done with now."

"Yeah."

"Oi, Nazeka," Toushirou was standing next to Ukitake. I waited for him to say something. "...Yes?" I asked. He waited a little longer, then replied, "...I told you so."

I hit him on the head, "I went through all that and that's all you have to say to me! You haven't talked to me once for two weeks and that's the first thing that comes out of your mouth!"

"Easy there," He rubbed his head, "What am I supposed to say? Your whole speech was forced, it's obvious you don't want to be here. Am I supposed to say congratulations or do you want me to say something else?"

"...He has a point..."

Drop it, Syugoryuu.

"...Never mind then, don't say anything if you don't want to. I'm still a little on edge. I mean, I still have to face another obstacle."

"Your new squad, I know."

"My, my, the little Nazeka's growing up, now, is she?" Kyouraku wandered over to our little group, tipping his hat a little, "But it seems she's not quite ready for the responsibility herself."

I frowned, "Jeez, was my speech that bad?" Little?

Ukitake patted my shoulder, "Don't worry about it, it's a lot of pressure. No one's going to judge you off of what you said back there anyway. But you shouldn't keep your squad waiting. I'm sure they're eager to meet you."

"Right," I nodded and passed by them, waving, "See you guys later!"

"Eh? Oh, wait, Nazeka!"

I turned around, and Kyouraku smiled, "Why don't we all go out for a little drink later? You know, for a celebration!" He turned to Toushirou, "You're invited too, Toushirou-kun."

I smiled, "Sure. Why not?" Waved once more and left to go meet my new squad.