A/N SURPRISE! The next chapter. Hopefully this makes up for the long wait before. I hope you like this one. I think it's probably what many of you have been waiting for, the inevitable conversation between Alice and Bella.

Chapter 5

Two ducks were quacking as they circled in the water nearby while I tossed some old bread crumbs to them from my seat on the bench. It took me a while after my epiphany in the steam room, but eventually I called Alice and asked to speak with her. She was reluctant at first, but agreed to meet me at the park for a walk. So that's where I was now. Waiting for my young lover, soon to be ex-lover.

Some leaves rustled behind me and I turned to see the object of my thoughts, walking towards me solemnly. She looked terrible, nothing like the perky girl I had once knew. Her hair was messier than usual and she had dark circles under her eyes. But the worst sight was the frown drawn upon her face. She looked so defeated, sad, and all I wanted to do was hug her and take away the pain, but I couldn't. Because I was the pain. I was what was causing her sorrow.

"Hey." She said softly when she reached me. I had stood to greet her. Her voice was flat and I suspected she may already know what I wanted to talk to her about.

"Hi." I returned just as quietly. "Do you want to walk?" She shrugged, but started off around the pond and I fell into step beside her.

Neither of us spoke for a while. Truthfully, I had yet to figure out how to begin this conversation. In the end, she was the one who broke our silence.

"You don't want to see me anymore, right?" Her voice was steady, but I could tell it was only with a lot of effort that she wasn't crying. She slipped her hands into her pockets and kicked a rock in front of her, still refusing to look at me.

"It's not that I don't want to Alice. You know I enjoy our time together. I just think maybe it's not fair to you…"

A bitter laugh erupted from the small girl next to me and my eyes widened. I'd never heard a sound so cold come from Alice and I hated it.

"So you're getting rid of me for my own sake, huh? That's bullshit." She said, stopping abruptly and turning towards me. "You like me Bella. I know you do!" She insisted holding my gaze with so much fire in her eyes that I had to look away.

"Of course I like you Alice!" I said, sighing when I saw a small smile appear on her face. "But I love my husband." Smile gone. "You're so young Alice. I know you think you care about me, and maybe you do, but there are so many people in this world. You're going to find someone your own age to love, who will love you back." I tried to explain, but it only caused Alice's frown to become an angry scowl.

"Now you're telling me how I feel?"

"No, that's not…"

"JUST STOP!" She screamed and I took a step backwards in surprise. And then, just like that, she crumbled. She grabbed her hair, pulling on it slightly as she fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Some instinct in me wouldn't allow me to just stand there, so I sat next to her and pulled her against me, rubbing her back, while she cried into my shoulder.

"Please don't leave me." She mumbled and I wasn't sure if I was even meant to hear it, but I held her tighter, rocking her as she began to settle down. She looked up at me with red teary eyes and something inside me broke. Before I knew it, my mouth was once again working without permission.

"Maybe we can just go back to how we used to be in the beginning. I could be just like the other ladies." I suggested. I mentally smacked myself in the head for giving in, but still eagerly awaited her answer.

A small smile graced Alice's face as she sniffed.

"You were never like the other women Bella."

"Well, I mean like when I first started seeing you…"

"Even then, you were special." She interrupted and I looked at her in confusion. She sighed and pulled away slightly to sit across from me in the grass. "Everyone wants a different Alice. Esme likes to baby me, so for her I'm the innocent little girl who needs nurturing and love. Tanya likes a lot of energy because she doesn't get any from her old husband. Victoria wants me submissive, but rough. So I become whoever they want when I'm with them."

"So what about me?" I asked, a little wary of the answer. Alice smirked.

"You just get Alice." She said, waving her hands over her seated form for a visual. I tilted my head, looking at her in confusion.

"I don't understand."

"I don't play a character for you Bella. I'm just me. I've never really liked… being me. I like to… play a role. But for some reason, you bring the plain old Alice out in me and I guess… I kind of like it." She admitted, seemingly having trouble finding the words, and making her speech choppy. I didn't really know what to say. I felt overwhelming sadness for the girl in front of me, but also happiness that I could make her comfortable enough to be herself around me.

Esme was right. Alice needed love. A lot of love. And it baffled me why she didn't have friends or family offering it to her.

"I'm sorry, Bella." She finally said, once more breaking our silence. "Edward is a good man." She stated, looking away, out over the water. I continued staring at her, watching her features brighten a little as she watched a row of ducklings swimming behind their mother.

"Alice." I breathed, taking her hands in mine and making her look at me. "What is it that you want from me?"

"I just want you." She whispered back, tears threatening to fall again. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to keep my own tears from at bay.

"I can't leave Edward, Alice. I won't." I stated holding her gaze.

"I didn't ask you to." She said desperately, moving closer to me.

"Then what are you asking?" I sighed, irritation slipping into my voice.

"Just be with me. Nothing has to change." I raised my eyebrows at her.

"But you…"

"Yes, I love you. That's my problem to deal with." I would have scoffed at her statement had I not been so shocked by three little words it contained.

"What?" I asked, louder than I meant to. Alice blushed and turned away. Apparently, her mouth filter was turned off as well. "You can't!" I whispered harshly, trying to will her feelings for me away. She couldn't love me. She just…couldn't.

"But I do." She answered defiantly, her eyes narrowing at me.

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"That's lust Alice, not love. You don't know me well enough to love me." I told her, my tone slightly patronizing and I cringed when realized that seeing Alice's reaction.

"I don't know you? I DON'T…Come with me." She said, startling me as she pulled me up and towards the building where our park's bathroom was. Once we were inside she quickly checked the stalls before moving back to lock the door. I stood in the middle of the room, still slightly in shock at her abrupt actions. Finally she moved to stand directly in front of me.

"I DO know you, Bella." She growled before wrenching the bottom of my shirt up and pointing to a scar on my abdomen. "That's where you got your appendix out when you were six. You were so scared that you absolutely refused to go into the operating room without your teddy bear and the staff was forced to dress him in sanitary clothes for you." She practically yelled, her fingers unconsciously tracing the spot on my stomach and making me shiver.

Before I could stop her she yanked down my yoga pants and kneeled to see my calf.

"This scar is from when you were ten and tripped on a rock and busted your leg on your way to Angela's house after you heard her parents were divorcing. You needed eight stitches, but wouldn't go to the hospital until you had made sure that your friend was okay."

How did she know this, I wondered. I had mentioned briefly what the scars were when she asked while laying kisses around my body, but not with that much detail. I was slightly alarmed when I felt her soft, warm lips place a gentle kiss against my leg before she stood up again.

"I know you are one of the most selfless and generous people alive. You give to every charity that asks and some that don't. You adopted a dog, even though you're allergic, but wouldn't give it away until you found it the perfect home." Alice smiled at me and moved to kiss my neck.

"I know…that…a kiss…right…here…" I moaned softly, turning my head and giving into her butterfly kisses when she reached my pulse point. "…makes you moan." She finished, smirking at me. "And if I lick behind your ear…" She stopped to do so and an involuntary whimper escaped me, causing the devilish grin on Alice's face to grow. She chuckled lightly and I was having trouble keeping my head about me with her hands now dancing across the skin on my back, under my shirt.

"You hate lima beans, but once ate an entire bag of green beans by yourself. You're shy and innocent, but actually enjoy the occasional rough sex. You're definitely a biter." Alice smiled, pulling her shirt aside at the neck to show me a faint mark where I had bitten just a bit too hard in bed. "Plus I know that you'll deny it, but secretly like American Idol." Her random facts about me were astonishing, not only because they were true, but I had absolutely no idea how she knew them.

"How do you know that?" I finally asked, coming to my senses a little and reaching down to pick up the pants around my ankles and taking a step back, putting some space between me and the dazzling young girl who could melt me with a touch.

"I told you the first time we met that I had heard a lot about you Bella and it was true. Esme and Rosalie adore you. Esme, especially, loves to talk about how wonderful you are, how giving you are, how kind… I was half in love with you before we even met. And then you opened the door." She paused smiling at the memory and the scene flashed before my own eyes. I would never forget that day. "You were beautiful and so…I don't know, caring I guess." She said waiting for a reaction from me, but I once again found myself speechless. "But what really did me in was that you wanted to return the pleasure to me, not only once but twice! You actually cared about how I felt, what I wanted. You didn't treat me like a child or some sex servant. That's when I knew you were special, even more than I first imagined."

"So…Where does this leave us?" I asked quietly, overwhelmed by everything. I needed some space, some time to process everything she had told me. Alice shrugged, a small smile still on her face.

"I don't feel right continuing to… meet when I know that you have these feelings for me. I don't want you to get hurt, especially not by me." I told her, finally putting out there what I had needed to tell her since the beginning.

"What if I promise my feelings won't interfere?" Alice said quickly, her eyes hopeful and desperate. "I'll…I'll…" Her eyes darted around quickly as she tried to find something to offer. "I'll let Edward watch!" She proclaimed, nearly screaming it and begging me with her eyes.

"Alice…" I started but she grabbed my hands, stopping me.

"Please Bella. Please don't leave me." She pleaded, her eyes tearing again and causing my chest to constrict painfully. She looked so young right then, like a little lost child, fearful and slightly panicked. "Please." She whispered again and I think my heart broke for her.

"I…" My voice cracked with emotion and I wasn't sure I'd be able to get out the words; the words that I knew would break her heart as well as my own. "I'll think about it." So I took the easy way out. I just needed time and I couldn't think with my head full of Alice, her warm touch distracting me and causing every nerve ending in my body to come alive.

Even this neutral answer seemed to crush the small girl in front of me and she stepped back, staring down at her feet. I could hear her sniffling, but knew that if I went to her now, I'd completely surrender myself to her. So I stayed. I watched and listened as she mumbled something about needing to get home before she darted back outside, the door slamming against the wall in her hasty exit. But I remained, unable to move from the small room with slightly dirty tile floors and scummy mirrors. I couldn't be sure how long I stayed in the bathroom, digesting all that I had just heard, but when I finally arrived home it was to a dark, empty house and several messages on the machine from a frantic husband.

"Bella, honey, I just landed in Baltimore. Call me when you get this."

"Hey Love, I'm at the hotel now, so give me a call when you get a chance. I love you."

"Okay, Bella. I'm starting to get a little worried now. It's been almost four hours and I haven't heard from you. Maybe you forgot to charge your phone again. Please call me back as soon as you get home."

"BELLA! I'm calling Rosalie to check on you. If I don't hear from you in two hours, I'm flying home!"

Edward's voice was panicked in the last message and I checked the clock. He had just left that a few minutes ago. And sure enough the phone rang again, this time, Rose's number showed up.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice soft.

"Bella? Hey are you okay? What's going on? Edward called me in a panic saying that I needed to rush over to your house and make sure you weren't knocked out in the bathtub or something." She said, her tone making her concern evident.

"I'm fine." I sighed, though I felt anything but. Truthfully, I just wanted to crawl into bed and cry or sleep. Maybe both.

"Where have you been?" Rose asked, still obviously upset.

"I met Alice at the park to talk to her." It didn't make sense to lie to her. I couldn't hide anything from Rose.

"Oh, sweetie, are you okay?" She asked and my eyebrows furrowed. She was asking me if I was okay? Alice was the one getting hurt. I was the one being a selfish idiot! "Do you want me to come over?" She asked, her voice gentle and caring.

"No, it's fine. I just want to take a bath and go to bed." I said, and even I could hear the weariness in my voice.

"Okay, hun, but make sure you call Edward first." She reminded me. Oh right, Edward. My husband.

"Yeah. Goodnight."

"'Night."

I hung up the phone and quickly dialed back Edward. He picked up on the first ring.

"BELLA? BELLA! ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Edward, honey, calm down, I'm fine. I just forgot my phone at home." I said, trying to settle my worried husband. Edward had always had a slight tendency to overreact, especially about my safety. It was with good reason though, since I'd probably been in the hospital ten times just since I'd met him, not counting minor injuries.

"Where were you Bella? I was so worried." He breathed through the phone line and I could hear him pacing in his hotel room.

"Sorry, I just needed to get out for a while. I went to the park for a walk."

"But it's dark there now! You weren't walking out there alone were you?" The panic was rising in his voice again and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Yes, but I'm home now. Safe and sound. No need to worry, Edward."

"Bella." I could hear the frustration in Edward's voice and imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Please don't do that again. Take Rose with you or Jasper. Someone. Please." He said, exasperation and concern mixed in his tone.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." I sighed, flopping down onto the couch. "How did your meeting go?" I asked, searching for a new topic, thankfully Edward was all too eager to reply and I settled in for a nice long conversation with my husband.

A/N Review...please :)