Hello peoples here's Chapter 19. I hope you like it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I love everyone so much. Thank you again. Please Review. I would love to hear from you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.
Sirius sank in the arm chair, staring at the fire. The past two weeks were great. James and Severus were more or less civil to each other. Only snarling once in a while. Severus and him were now open about their relationship. It's not like they shouted it from the roof tops, but they spoke in front of people and occasionally touched, nothing too big, it sure did get them a lot of attention for the first week or so, but then something else caught everyone else's attention leaving Severus and him to do as they pleased. But for some reason he couldn't shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Everything was great, something in his gut nagged and tugged at him to listen. He didn't know how, he just knew. Instinct was guiding him toward the path of doom he knew was laid out before him. The only things missing were how and where everything was going to go down. It wasn't going to be pretty. Sirius shifted in his seat, lifting his legs, tucking them under him.
A hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped nearly falling out of his chair. "Whoa, Sirius it's just me." Remus appeared before Sirius with a lop-sided grin. "Didn't mean to scare you." Remus patted his shoulder then fell on the couch nest his chair. "What's got you so jumpy?"
Sirius's stomach tied in knots. "Nothing just tired." He scrubbed his face, trying to rid himself of the thoughts consuming his mind. It was hard not to think about when it nagged at him all day long.
"Tell me," Remus said pulling Sirius from his seat, guiding him to seat on the couch next to him.
Sirius put his elbows on his knees and cupped his face in his hands. The fire danced wildly as he contemplated telling Remus. What did he have to lose? "I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. I don't know how I know, it's just an uncomfortable, unbearable feeling." Sirius spat out his thoughts in a rush, tripping and stumbling over his sentences. He wished that Remus didn't understand one single word, letting them move on from the subject at hand.
Remus turned to him slightly, his brow knitted together. He chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at Sirius with bottomless amber eyes that Sirius couldn't look at for fear that he would be laughed at for his silly thoughts.
"Why won't you look at me?" Remus asked in a calm voice.
"I don't know," Sirius said, continuing to stare in the orange flames. The heat from the fire was getting to him. His shirt clung to his back in a sweaty heap, the flames whirled around in his vision. It was getting too hot in the common room he needed fresh air or something. Abruptly he stood, striding to the door without an explanation to Remus, who decided to follow Sirius.
"Sirius, stop." Remus caught with him at the portrait. "I don't think it's weird or strange that your having feelings like that if that's what your worried about. It's normal to be worried about things. Are you worried about what might happen between James and Snape?"
Sirius shook his head. He didn't really know what the worry was about, but he had a gut feeling that something was going to happen. "I don't know what it is about, but I can feel it in my gut." Sirius touched his mid-section, as if that would clarify everything.
"That's all right. How about we walk around the castle for a bit okay?" Remus walked through the portrait hole with Sirius on his heels. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Remus always made him feel better. The gnawing on his insides subsided as he walked beside Remus.
They walked around the castle with no destination in mind, which was fine with Sirius. He didn't want to think about anything. Remus told him about everything that was happening with him and his life. Not that Sirius didn't know, he suspected that Remus was trying to fixate his mind on everyday things. It worked. His mind relaxed allowing him to enjoy the past few weeks without worry coloring his thoughts. They ended up in front of the library, a place that was very familiar territory for him now.
"I have to get a book for Transfigurations," Remus said as he walked.
"If you don't mind I think I'll stay right here."
Remus gave him a stern look, his faced softened. "Don't let your thoughts get the better of you okay? James and Peter might be here if I can find them we can all go down to dinner together."
"I won't and that sounds good. I'm starving."
"With how much you've been using your brain I can imagine." Remus ran in the door before Sirius could grab hold of him. Sirius chuckled as the door slammed. He was thinking too much. He let his mind go blank. And tried to just let it wonder where it wanted to.
While he waited for Remus he paced patiently in front of the door nodding to the people that were going and coming from the library. Sirius stopped in front of the door, staring off into space. He paid no attention to the wood that was heading straight for his nose. The door smacked him right in the face, injuring mostly his nose. He let out a howl of pain. The person that opened the door scrambled to his side. They were a blur, thanks to the tears of pain that stung his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Severus's voice rang in his ear. Warm hands cupped his face, guiding him down to Severus's height.
"I was standing in front of the door. You opened the door on my nose."
"I did? Well then I guess you don't want me to put a healing salve on it. A swollen nose would look great on you," Severus sneered, his hands fell away from Sirius's face.
"No, no don't go. It's starting to hurt." Sirius reached out for Severus and was relieved when he met warm robes.
"I wasn't going anywhere," Severus whispered, Sirius could barely hear him. "I was just getting the salve from my bag. What were you doing in front of the door anyway? It serves you right for getting hit in the nose."
Sirius wrinkled his nose, he yelped in pain. His hands flew to his nose, covering it. "I was waiting for Remus. I just happened to stop in front of the door for a moment." There was no reason to mention that he was staring off into space.
"You probably weren't paying attention to what you were doing." Severus pulled out a small jar of green gook. He opened the jar, put two fingers in and scooped out some. He raised his hand to Sirius's face, gently he rubbed the green salve on his nose. Sirius hissed in pain, the pain ebbed, retreating in to numbness. He let out a puff of air. He felt much better.
Severus continued to massage the salve on and around his nose. "Why do you have healing salve in you bag?" Sirius asked, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.
Severus kept his eyes focused on the task at hand. "For when certain people did things to me that resulted in me being injured." Sirius flinched away in pain. Not pain from his nose, but his heart for what he had done to Severus.
"Severus…," Sirius began to say, his voice died away. He didn't know what to say, so instead he began to reach out for Severus when the library door opened to reveal Remus along with James and Peter. They were laughing until their eyes landed on Sirius about to embrace Severus. His friends might have known that he was going out with the other boy, that didn't mean they were used to it yet, especially James, whose eyes narrowed behind his glasses. His cheeks flushed red, sides heaving breathing heavily.
"What are you two doing?" James asked, his tone chilled Sirius to the marrow of his bones.
"None of you business Potter." Severus put the salve back in his bag. He walked over to Sirius, putting his body right next to Sirius's. He shivered in pleasure at the close contact of Severus, but knew now was not the right time to start getting excited.
"Sirius is coming with us down to dinner." James took a step closer to Sirius.
The situation was gradually getting out of hand by the second. The thin peace that was established was broken. Tension filled the air, almost suffocating Sirius. The knots that were in his stomach earlier were back with full force.
"You know I honestly can't stand this anymore," James said, trying to inch closer to Sirius, Severus blocked his way.
"What do you propose we do?" Severus asked.
Sirius caught Remus's eye, the amber eyed boy, shook his head at a loss for what to do. Sirius was about to intervene when James whipped out his wand, Seveus a second later.
They stood face to face, wands out. No warning was given when James fired off the first spell. Severus dodged it while releasing his own spell. Sirius's head rang, he couldn't hear anything. He saw Peter and Remus yelling at the James and Severus, but he couldn't make out their words. This was what he had been worrying about. The shaky truce that had been made broke within in a matter of seconds. Nothing had been resolved. He was fooling himself these past few weeks, thinking everything was finally starting to make sense again. Nothing made sense and now his best friend and lover were fighting over him or for him he didn't know anymore.
He started running to the escalating fight that moved down the hall, Remus tried to stop him, Sirius pulled away from him and ended up in between James and Severus as they both released spells. He was caught in between. The first spell caught him putting him a paralyzing grip that didn't allow him to move, speak, or hear. He tried desperately to move. The effort was futile. He tried to prepare himself when the second spell hit, but nothing could have prepared him for it. His entire body burned, pain lanced through his body. It was like a thousand hot knives were being driven through every part of his being, even his soul. The pain was too much. His vision began to spot with black dots. All he saw was Severus turn his back on him when he was rolled on his side by James. Severus ran away as fast as his legs could carry him, leaving Sirius in agonizing pain, not even able to express it with any kind of movement or emotion. He wanted to writhe and scream, not because of the pain, but for the one person in the world he thought would never leave him. Severus made his decision. James came in to his line of view, talking furiously fast, no words made it to his ears. He was comforted with the vision of James being there for him. He didn't leave his side. The pain arched through his back, like a lick of fire. His vision blurred steadily becoming black as he spotted the last of Severus's robes turning around a corner. Sirius's final thoughts as he blacked out were, I thought he loved me. He knew nothing more.