Hi everyone, chapter five is in the house! Thank you for all of the kind reviews on the last chapter and I agree with all of you, Damon needs to be happy and Damon and Elena need to talk. We are back to Elena's POV and at her house after the fight with Stefan. Therefore, everyone please enjoy and leave a review when you are done reading. - I Own Nothing -Lioness002
Tears were streaming down my face as I quickly drove home down the deserted road away from the Boarding House. The last time I had been in this situation I had crashed my car and almost been killed, not withstanding that what I had crashed into had been a vampire. I looked into the mirror with my lips pulled into a tight line just waiting for a shadowy figure to block my vision or run in front of my car causing me to crash. I sighed, turned my gaze back to the road, and ran a hand through my hair. I wiped away a stray tear, I knew my makeup was smeared and my eyes were puffy and red, but I did not care. Stefan had become an over the top, protective, neurotic boyfriend, especially when it came Damon. Damon was like Stefan's worst nightmare, it was odd they could be so different considering they were brothers. Stefan was the responsible, protective, caring and brooding brother, while Damon was the take action, dangerous, passionate and fun brother. However, no one could deny that they both really cared about my safety and me.
I sniffled and wiped my eyes again as I pulled into the driveway of the house. I undid my seatbelt and sat in the car a few moments thinking about the night's occurrences. I had practically said that I loved Damon. The real question evading my mind was did I really mean it? I had always said that I loved Stefan more than anyone in the world but Damon was slowly growing in my heart. Nevertheless, how could I love him when he had killed my biological mother Isobel? Killed Jeremy? Hurt Caroline? Terrified Bonnie? Was a grade A ass? I rubbed my temples in frustration as I hit the steering wheel causing a loud honk to sound through the quiet neighborhood.
"I'm so confused." I whispered as more heavy tears cascaded down my face. I finally let out a chocked sigh and got out of the car so I could get into the house. I quickly walked in the front door and walked up the stairs so I could avoid Jeremy, Jenna was locked in her room crying because of Isobel, she would not talk to me. When she found out Isobel was alive and I knew, she freaked, she slammed the door in Isobel's face and ran so fast up the stairs you would have thought she had vampire speed. When I reached the top of the stairs, I lightly tapped on Jenna's door. "Jenna?" I asked as I listened for any sign of life. I heard soft sobs but no reply. I sighed and leaned my forehead on the door. "Jenna, we need to talk, I'll be in my room until then." I said walking away and entering my room. I flipped on the lights and put all of my things into my closest before I entered the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and cringed, I looked just as bad as I thought I had. I grabbed a washcloth and ran some water until it was warm. I lathered some lavender soap onto the washcloth and ran it across my face to get rid of the smeared and smudged makeup. The water was soothing on my heated skin; the water really helped me relax.
Once I had cleaned up and my mess of makeup was righted, I walked back into my room and changed into my Pajama's. I decided on a cotton baby blue camisole and matching shorts. Once I changed, I brushed my hair out and grabbed my diary as I sat cross-legged on my bed.
Dear Diary,
Today was full of drama. It ends up Isobel is back in town for whatever reason, the problem is that now Jenna is freaked out and hiding out in her room. I hope that she will come and talk to me later tonight or tomorrow, I have a lot to explain. I am going to tell her, about everything. Everything about Stefan, Damon, and Caroline being vampires, Bonnie being a witch, the sacrifice and Originals and lets not forget my doppelganger from 1864 Katherine. I cannot keep her in the dark any longer. She deserves the truth, and honestly, it would make her safer. If I tell her, maybe it will save her and Alaric's relationship as well, I would hate for that to be over because of me. I did not really know how she will react though, how do you hear about vampires, werewolves, sacrifices, and doppelgangers? You do not, because most people believe it is all fantasy made up by the minds of Stephenie Meyer and L.J. Smith. However, this is only the tip of the iceberg; Katherine is at the Boarding House stirring up trouble with everyone, especially me. Because of her, Stefan and I ended up having a fight, about Damon of all people.
Katherine just has to mess with everyone, tonight Damon and I were just talking as friends and she made it seem like I was confessing my love for him, and of course right in front of Stefan. I could see he was hurt, but I knew Damon was even more hurt and confused. Katherine was saying he didn't matter, that no one could love him, and that he should just die. I was angry with her, angry for her causing Damon unneeded pain and suffering. He deserved none of her hateful and untrue words. However, I am confused and shocked by my reaction to that. She continued to insult him and I tried to stop her. She ended up saying, "Tell me a name, give me a person and I'll give into your crazy thoughts." I was so angry with her I did not even register what I was saying until it had left my lips; I had said I could love him. Me, Elena Gilbert who was dating Stefan, his younger brother and had said it was always going to be Stefan. Katherine had just sneered and said I just made it so she could have Stefan. These events lead to the fight between Stefan and me.
After I left Damon's room holding in tears I went up to Stefan's room to wait for him. I knew Damon and him were going to fight about what Stefan had heard me say. When Stefan joined me upstairs, the fight between the two of us began. Stefan went through the usual "Why You Can't Trust Damon" reasons, it starts with not being able to trust him and goes all the down to him hurting me. Now I snort at the thought of Damon hurting me, its total bull crap. I know Damon better that most and I know he would never hurt me. I can tell, I can always tell and I know that really pisses him off. I can see when he is hurting, when he needs a friend or gets lost. Katherine in the equation does not help much. I think back to a few months ago when I first met Damon and I remember when I actually used to believe the things Stefan told me. Recently I just cannot find the emotion or reason to hate Damon anymore. I know I should be able to, every easily, but I just can't. He has just grown on me, I really care very deeply about him and that surprises me. When I first met Stefan and Damon I never thought I would have ended up in a love triangle with me in the middle. I love Stefan...but do I love Damon as well? Am I lying to myself? Damon has told me once that I was lying to him, Stefan, and myself, the fights tonight are starting to open my eyes to that fact. How can I fight so desperately for Damon but deny I care? Moreover, how can I love Stefan but side with Damon? I am scared to admit that I may have feelings for Damon, my confusing outburst proved that. The theory is that when you do not think and just speak your mind you speak the truth. Did that happen tonight? I just do not know the extent of my feelings for Damon. Romantic or friendship the feelings are there and they are all becoming a blurry combination. I do not really know how I feel anymore. Damon makes me laugh and cry, hate him and love him. There is a fine line between love and hate.
I stared at the page and tapped the paper with my pen in thought. "Oh drama, I am your favorite victim." I thought with a small smile. I sighed, placed the journal next to me on the bed, and leaned my head back onto the pillows to rest.
"Elena?" A voice whispered quietly after what felt like a few minutes. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over to see Stefan in my doorway. I blinked a few more times before I clenched my teeth together to keep from yelling.
"What do you want Stefan?" I asked icily as I gave Stefan a hard look, I was still very angry with him for the fact he did not trust me.
"Elena, I'm sorry, Katherine-"
"Stop Stefan. I know you are here to apologize, but I'm not ready to forgive you yet." I said as I sat up from the bed and instinctively grabbed my journal and pulled it closer to me. Stefan gazed at me with sad and pleading eyes. I turned my gaze down to the journal in my hands.
"Elena, I just need to know. Do you love him?" Stefan asked silently but I could here the pain bleeding into his tone. I flinched at the question; I had been asking myself that all night. I turned my eyes up to Stefan and sighed.
"I don't know." I whispered sadly. I felt so cruel and dirty saying it, it made me feel like Katherine. I hated causing Stefan pain over this, I knew he and Damon were on thin ice as brothers, adding me to the mix could separate them for good. Katherine was right; I could do more harm than she could. Stefan frowned sadly before taking a deep breath.
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes, of course!" I said immediately with a nod.
"Do you still love me as much as you did when we first met?" I paused and really thought about what he had asked. When I did not reply Stefan let out a choked sigh. "Tell me the truth Elena, please." He whispered. I bit my lip and really searched for the truth, this could be a defining moment in my life and I really needed to be sure of my answer. I looked Stefan square in the eyes with determination and breathed my answer.
"No Stefan, I don't." For some reason when I acknowledged I did not still feel the same way toward Stefan, it felt like a weight was lifted from my lungs and I could breathe easier. Like some of my responsibility had been lifted from my shoulders.
"I had a feeling that was going to be your answer." Stefan said bitterly. I closed my eyes and tried to keep from crying.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered. Stefan shook his head.
"No, we had a good run. I just hope you don't regret your choice later." He said as he walked out of my room and most likely out of my life. I stared at the spot he had been a few seconds ago before I quietly began to cry. These were tears or pain and confusion, I did not know if I had just made the best or worst mistake of my life. I silently cried into my pillow and gulped in fresh air trying to calm my frantically beating heart. Before I knew what I was doing, I reached for my phone and speed dialed Damon's phone. I got his voice mail.
"Hey Damon, its Elena." I said in a quivering voice. "I really need someone to talk to right now, something has happened. But more importantly, we need to talk about tonight. When you get this please call me back as soon as you can." I said fighting back tears as I ended the call. I knew I probably sounded horrible and that my voice cracked a couple of times. When Damon got this, he would probably be freaking out thinking someone had died.
I quickly wiped my tears and got under the comforters as I turned out the light in my room. I could faintly hear Jeremy's even breathing and Jenna's soft snores as I lay in bed. It comforted me she fell asleep because I knew that tonight I would get little to no sleep. I pulled my blankets up to my chin, closed my eyes, and silently prayed that tonight I had made the right choice.
All right everyone, there is chapter five! What did you think? Up next comes the big Damon and Elena conversation, will she finally tell Damon how she feels? So thank you so much for reading and please leave me a review! Thanks! :) -Lioness002