Okay, okay, okay, please everyone do not kill me. I know I promised that this would be the last chapter and the HUGE conversation, but I couldn't do it. I know that this may aggravate some people and I am really, really sorry, but I had to split it up...again. :( It kept getting longer and longer and really frustrating because I wanted to get some writing out there to read, so this is the first half of the conversation. I am really sorry and I hope everyone can see it in themselves to forgive me, I really feel awful. :( So tell me everyone, am I overacting and worrying about nothing or are all of you pissed? I really hope not. So I hope this chapter was worth it and that everyone enjoys. So please enjoy and leave a review when you are done reading. Thanks! -I Own Nothing

P.S. A very, very, special thank you to Bibi 13ca for being my amazing Beta on this chapter. This looks so amazing and flows so much better because of you. Thanks a million! :)

-Lioness002

By the time I reached Elena's house all the lights were out, the doors were locked, and I could hear the even breathing of Jeremy and Jenna. Elena however had more uneven and erotic breathing, she was probably dreaming about something that was causing her heart rate to go up and her breath to hitch. It bothered me her sleep was so disturbed, but I was happy she was sleeping at all. These were trying times, I knew she got little to no sleep every night; she spent every hour worrying about her friends and family. Elena was the definition of selfless; she always put others before herself; part of the reason I just couldn't stop myself from loving her.

I stood on green plush grass of Elena's front lawn just listening to the orchestra of the night; it was a world of its own. Animals and insects that during the day were usually useless and boring, were now teaming with life and working together to create a balance of nature. With my highly tuned senses, I could pick out the gentle rustle of the leaves, the musty scent being blown from the woods, the soft pitter-patter of the small animals scurrying around the forest and backyards of Mystic Falls looking for food. Nevertheless, what was on my mind now was the softly breathing creature that dwelled inside the house in front of me. Elena.

It wasn't my style to just go up to the front door and ring the doorbell, so I quickly climbed up the tree next to Elena's window. I sat on the branches of her tree for a second before I realized I really had no idea what to say to her. She would probably still be angry at Stefan, if I did this now she would reject me and crush the little bit of strength I had left, but if I didn't do this now, I would never know if what she said was true. It was now or never.

The funny thing is that I had spent months thinking about this exact moment; the moment Elena would realize she loved me, but now that I was facing it, I was ashamed to admit that I was scared. Deep down I knew I wanted this, to touch her, protect her, love her, and hold her in my arms. But if I waited, I would be safer; it wouldn't hurt me so much if she realized she had made a huge mistake and went back to Stefan. I couldn't take it if, for just a second, I was given happiness, to have it ripped away just as quickly.

The thought of her going back to Stefan after he has caused her so much pain made me shake with rage. I hate how Stefan is always the saint in everyone's eyes. He's the one that can do no wrong. But so they bother to get the whole story? No, they don't, no one ever does. I have done just as much as him to protect the ones I love, and yet, I am still the bad guy.

Elena was the only person that took the time to know me and discover the man behind the monster; I feel protective over her and every time someone threatens her my vampire instinct takes over. I'll kill for that girl, lie for her, and there's no doubt I would die for her, because she's the only one that can make me feel…human.

I peered through the trees branches and stared at Elena's sleeping form longingly through the moonlit window. The moon was almost full so it cast down an unhindered and pure creamy white light, perfectly lighting Elena's angelic face in her room. It was almost like a metaphor of her life, she was so pure and good while the world around her was dark and twisted. She did not deserve the turmoil she had been dished so many times, she deserved so much better.

Elena was right about me, she said I was a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities, and I am, but I just can't stay away. I don't deserve her, but she is my attraction, a complete opposite that fits me perfectly.

No one has ever had such an influence on me as to make me want to change, until Elena. She is kind, sweet, loving, sensitive, honest, brave, selfless, and the list goes on. However, her forgiveness is always going to be a mystery to me, I will never fully understand her extreme forgiveness, but I am grateful for it.

I heard Elena give a soft sigh in her sleep as she burrowed her head into her pillow. I could see her body tense; she was dreaming about something that made her heartbeat quicken and her blood boil. It wasn't out of fear or rage, but something else; something I just couldn't put my finger on.

I wish I could be the cause of her quickening heartbeat, her content sighs, her happiness and laughter. But I couldn't, because I will never be on the other end of Elena's loving gaze, that space will always be reserved for my baby-brother and family. To feel wanted and loved is all anyone wants, it's something I've wanted for over one hundred and sixty years, but I know better. It will only be a dream to me, forever. There is no light at the end of the tunnel and Elena will never be mine.

I quickly pulled Elena's window open and slipped silently into the room. It surprised me that she kept the window unlocked, it was probably for the nights Stefan came over…or I did. Either way I turned around and quietly shut the window before taking a seat by the edge of Elena's bed. Elena fidgeted slightly and let out a soft breath as she rolled over to face me.

"Damon…" she whispered as her lips curled into a content smile. I thought she had woken up, but after looking at her face closely, I realized her eyes were still closed. Was she…dreaming about me? The realization brought a smile to my face, she seemed happy dreaming about me, her body was relaxed and her mind was at ease, she was enjoying her dream.

I sighed softly and moved a stray piece of hair from her face before I lightly trailed my hand down the length of her cheek. She smiled again and I continued to do this for a few minutes before I saw her eyes flutter open. Elena looked up at me with half closed eyes filled with puzzlement before she pushed herself up to my level.

"Damon?" she whispered weakly as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. "What time is it?" She asked groggily as she looked around her room for a clock.

"It's around three. I'm sorry I woke you, you can go back to bed if you want." I whispered gently.

"No, I'm alright. What are you doing here at three in the morning?" She asked scooting under the blankets and pulling them up around her shoulders.

"Watching you sleep." I smirked.

"Obviously," she whispered. "And by the way, it's kinda creepy; what, are you stalking me now?" She yawned as her eyes started to droop again.

"Naw, I was just bored; being a vampire does that to you."

"Right." She whispered.

"It's alright, you're tuckered out and you need your sleep. I'll come back later." I said standing up and taking a step toward her window. I hadn't even started to take my second step before Elena's hand whipped out and she curled her fingers around my wrist. I turned to look at her over my shoulder in amusement.

"You can stay." She whispered staring up at me with her liquid chocolate eyes. I knew she wasn't fully awake yet because her eyes were slightly glazed over, but she meant what she said. I sighed softly and sat back down on the edge of her bed.

"Alright, I'll stay, but only because you want me to." I said knowing fully well I didn't stay just because she wanted me to.

"Wait." Elena whispered taking me by surprise. I looked down at her with puzzlement as she leaned up from the bed.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked confused by her sudden turn around.

"No." She laughed breathlessly. "No, I want you here and you can stay. That is, if you want to stay. I would understand you wanting to leave." She said awkwardly rubbing her shoulder.

"I think I'll stay."

"Good." She smiled before hesitantly placing her hand on my shoulder. I gave her another confused look before I let her push my back against the mattress so I was lying completely on the bed just a few inches from her.

"What are you doing?" I asked pleased by her move but confused by it.

"Making you lay down." She answered biting her lower lip temptingly. "You don't have to sit beside my bed while I sleep." She whispered slowly retracting her hand from my shoulder and lying down on her back. We stayed silent for a few seconds just staring at her ceiling before she rolled over and looked at me and I did the same to look at her. I saw a genuine smile flash across her face when our gazes met. I couldn't help but be shocked; she was inviting me into her bed while she was still in it. "You seem unsure." Elena whispered pulling a pillow from behind her and pushing it under her head.

"I am." I admitted honestly.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because I don't know what to do in a situation like this, because I don't know what you want me to do."

"Well," she started grabbing onto my hand, "it would be okay for you to hold me." She whispered looking at me shyly before she averted her gaze to our joined hands. I looked at our clasped hands and couldn't help but see the perfection and simplicity of the action, it felt so right and so easy. I gently squeezed her hand and moved a fraction of an inch closer.

"Is that what you really want?" I breathed into her ear. She shivered and nodded.

"Yes." I closed my eyes and sighed calming my nerves before I looked at Elena who was fighting to keep her eyes open.

"You do realize that you are inviting me into your bed with you still in it, right?" I asked expressing my fears out loud.

"Of course, I'm not stupid."

"True," I smiled, "but you're half asleep."

"I know what I'm doing." She sighed rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand in soft soothing circles. I let out a breath and nodded slowly.

"Alright, just promise me that when you wake up you won't freak out about the fact I am holding you." I said disconnecting our hands and wrapping my arm around Elena's shoulder. Elena nodded and rested her head tentatively on my shoulder.

"I promise." She whispered softly as she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

There we go everyone, the conversation part one. So please don't rip me to shreds about the fact I pushed the main talk off until the next chapter. Think of the positives everyone, you have more reading, woo! And trust me; no one wants to read a 5000-6000 word chapter so I did it for everyone's benefit. So please leave me a review on what you thought. Thanks for reading and I assure everyone that the last half is almost finished and is being edited constantly. The ending will be soon, I cross my heart and hope to die. Thanks for reading! :)

-Lioness002