A/N Yeah, I know.

Chapter 20

"How long is this going to take, again?" Alice complained from the driver's side of the car.

"Only an hour." I said, reaching over to pull her chin up so I could see her eyes. "You don't need to worry so much, baby. It's not as if I'm going to be alone." I said, giving her an encouraging smile.

"I don't see why you have to go at all." Alice huffed, arms folded across her chest.

"You know why." I sighed. "Besides, I promised Esme." She turned away from me, staring out the car window. "Alice." I cooed, turning in my seat so I could pull her back into my arms, my face automatically finding purchase in her silky locks. "Can't I have a kiss goodbye?" I whispered into her neck, my lips grazing over the skin and making her shiver.

"MmMmm." She denied me softly.

"What if I promise that we'll do something special tonight? Just the two of us." I continued, my hands now slipping under her shirt to caress the smooth skin of her stomach.

"Like what?" She breathed, reaching her hands behind her to lace into my hair, holding me close.

"I was thinking…" I placed a kiss behind her ear, "a stroll in the park," another just below it, "a romantic candlelit dinner," one on her shoulder, "and then cuddling in our bed and making love until morning." I finished, my voice turning husky. Alice moaned lightly, snuggling back closer into my arms.

"Sounds perfect."

"Good." I said, hating having to pull away from her. "Now give me a kiss." I said, and smiled as she sighed, but turned to me obediently and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. "I'll see you soon." I promised, smiling sadly at the frown on her face as I let myself out of the car.

I waved goodbye to Alice as she pulled away and turned back to the building to see the doorman watching me. His distasteful expression wasn't exactly what I needed right now, so I quickly walked inside and found the building directory on the wall. Dr. Miller's office was in suite 400.

I shook my head, thinking back to the day that brought me here.

It had been almost two weeks since my opening and I hadn't heard a thing from Esme or Carlisle since they left with Edward from the gallery. I heard through Rose that they had been trying to help Edward get back on track and in the mean time Carlisle had returned to the company to look after it with Emmett.

Therefore, it was quite the surprise when Esme walked in the door that afternoon looking tired, but happy. It was after four anyway, so I decided to close up shop early and led Esme up to our apartment. The lack of her normal hug greeting had me scared that she may have decided Edward was right and she couldn't see me anymore. Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

"First of all, Bella, let me say once again how sorry I am that your special night is tainted. Carlisle and I didn't realize Edward was having such a difficult time adjusting. I thought he was doing better." She added quietly, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Esme only fidgeted when she was extremely worried, which put me even more on edge. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but was hesitant for some reason.

"Esme, what's going on?" I asked, my brow furrowed in concern. She didn't respond at first, still avoiding my eye contact, but eventually she heaved a great sigh and we locked eyes.

"I need a favor, Bella."

I looked at her, stunned, but didn't hesitate in my response.

"Okay, umm… sure, of course." I, somewhat reluctantly agreed, hoping she wasn't going to ask me to stay married to her son or something like that. My slow uncertain response didn't seem to dissuade her at all, so it must have been important.

"Carlisle has a friend from college, Barney Miller. He's a family psychiatrist." I stiffened slightly, wondering how I was going to fit into this. "We asked him to meet with Edward, hoping that he might be able to sort him out." Esme chuckled a little at the surprise on my face. I couldn't imagine Edward willing seeing a shrink. "It was certainly a hard sell, but now I believe my son is finally seeing how beneficial an outside viewer can be for his situation."

"Sorry, Esme, but I'm not really seeing how I fit in here." I said, hoping that she wasn't going to say what I thought she would, but of course things never go the way we want them to.

"Dr. Miller has suggested that a group session may be helpful, given our unique family dynamic. I was hoping you might be willing to come to the next one this Friday." She must have noticed my discomfort. "Please Bella. Edward has made a lot of improvement and I think with all of us there together we can figure this thing out."

Don't get me wrong. I loved Esme and all of my family, but the idea of airing my marriage's dirty laundry, not only in front of them, but a stranger, was not exactly how I wanted to spend my time. Not to mention that this Friday also happened to be the first day in a while that Alice didn't have to go to the theater and I had planned to close the gallery and spend the day with her.

"I don't think…" I started to say, but took one look at Esme's hopeful face and couldn't bear to disappoint her. "I don't think that'll be a problem." I sighed, forcing a small smile onto my face. Esme beamed, grabbing me up in a hug.

"Thank you Bella." She said, retaking her seat with the worry lifted from her face. "It's been so difficult for Edward." She started, but quickly doubled back. "Not that I'm justifying his actions. But he loves you so much, and I think this whole thing just completely blind-sided him. He doesn't know what to do with himself now."

Eventually, Esme left, unintentionally leaving me with a pile of guilt. Here I was, happy as I'd ever been with Alice and my gallery, while Edward was falling apart at the seams, with no one to help stitch him back together. He had his family of course, but I'm sure sharing them with me, detracted a bit from their comfort. With that in mind, I couldn't really help but think that I owed him whatever I could to ease the pain I'd caused.

Alice didn't exactly feel the same when I told her we'd have to schedule our day together around a trip to Long Island and a therapy session. In fact, I think that was the first night since we'd moved in that Alice and I didn't have sex. It was a very lonely night, indeed.

The elevator opened to the fourth floor and I was immediately met with Rosalie and Emmett leaning against the wall across from me, looking less than thrilled to be here.

"Hi, Bella." Emmett said dispassionately.

"Hey." I replied joining them, and noticing that we were the only ones in the lobby. "Why are you guys here?"

"Esme wanted everyone here. For moral support or something." Rose answered, looking comfortable in the circle of Emmett's arms. The glow from her pregnancy was radiant even in this less than exciting time. Before I could comment on my observation, the ding of the elevator announced new arrivals and Esme and Carlisle stepped out, followed by a sullen Edward. He was scowling at the ground and didn't look up to greet any of us, with his parents. It annoyed me to see him this way. I wish he would just get over it… then, of course, I felt guilty for thinking that, and found my own eyes drifting to the berber carpet.

The awkward silence was stifling, and we all seemed to flinch at the slightest sound, until at last the secretary announced that the doctor was ready.

Slowly, we made our way into the room, taking seats in the circular formation which had been set up. I checked the clock. The hour had just begun.

"Welcome everyone. I'm so happy you could join Edward and I today. It really shows how much you all care about your son, brother, and friend." Doctor Miller started, looking at each of us in turn. He was a fairly handsome man, with graying black hair and soft green eyes. I could see how he would be good at this profession since everything about him said calm.

He took a seat, observing us silently for a moment, as if the awkwardness didn't affect him. Eventually, he spoke up once more.

"The goal today is to create an environment for open discussion. I want everyone to feel comfortable saying anything they like. Listening will be the key to this exercise. Do not take comments personally, but reflect on why someone might say what they have and if you disagree, explain why." He stopped here for a minute to make sure we understood before smiling kindly and turning to Edward.

"Why don't you start, Edward." The doctor suggested, and I watched my ex-husband shift in his seat uncomfortably as our eyes turned to him.

"I…" He cleared his throat, "I don't know what to say."

"Why don't you begin by explaining why you've brought your family here today?" Doctor Miller suggested. Edward took a deep breath, looking around the room, but not meeting anyone's eyes.

"The reason I asked everyone here today is because you…" Doctor Miller cleared his throat, giving Edward a pointed look. My ex-husband dragged his hand through his hair, and continued. "Because I feel like I'm being pushed out of my own family. It seems like I'm the outsider, when I think it should be Bella in that role." I gulped as he turned his harsh gaze on me.

"Bella?" Doctor Miller turned to me. I stared blankly back at him. "Would you care to give your take on this situation?" I wanted to just say no and leave it at that. The longer I was here, the more I wished I wasn't. Unfortunately I made the mistake of looking up and seeing Esme's pleading eyes. She seemed convinced that this session was going to be some miracle cure for her son. I wasn't so sure.

"Umm, sure." I said softly. Rose patted my knee reassuringly and I gave her a small smile. I didn't know exactly what to say, but I figured the beginning would be a good place to start, so steeling myself I began.

"In high school I was incredibly shy, so I didn't really go on any dates until I got to college. Edward and I met my freshmen year and instantly hit it off. I dated a few other people, but never really connected with them. Then Edward asked me out and it seemed so perfect. We got along well and he was so handsome." I paused briefly, looking up into that very man's eyes. "I mistook the deep feelings I had for him for romantic love."

"YOU'RE LYING! YOU DID LOVE ME! YOU DO!" Edward jumped up, pointing a finger at me accusingly. Emmett stood from the other side of Rose also. Ready in case anything should happen.

"Edward." Doctor Miller said in his soothing voice and amazingly my husband huffed, plopping back into his seat in one of the most ungraceful movements I'd seen him make.

"This is absurd! Why should she even be allowed to spew this bullshit? She's the one that cheated on me!" Edward was digressing back into the hateful place I loathed. What disgusted me most about seeing him this way was that I had caused it. This was my fault. Yet I'd never take it back.

"I'll remind you, Edward that we are not here to lay blame today. This is a session to work on communication and your strength as a family." Doctor Miller was the most stern I'd seen him, but it quieted my brooding ex, even though his silence was obviously kept grudgingly. "Bella, let's try to stay away from the issues surrounding your divorce for a moment. Tell us how you feel about the other people in this room." He encouraged, once everyone had settled back down. I couldn't help but smile as I took in people I considered family. I decided to start with the easiest.

"I've known Rose since birth, pretty much. We were already sisters before we even married into the Cullen family." My bestfriend smiled and gave me a wink to show that she felt the same. "Emmett is like the older brother I never had. It feels like I've known him forever." I said, grinning at the big teddy bear. Finally I turned to my pseudo parents. "Esme and Carlisle are both amazing people. I look to them as examples of how to be a good person. They both love unconditionally and are fiercely protective of their family." I paused, looking down at my hands. "That's why I feel so terrible for putting them in the middle of this whole thing." I admitted solemnly. "I think of you as parents, and I know it's selfish, but I can't give you up, even knowing that it would be easier for both you and Edward."

Silent tears fell down Esme's cheeks as she looked at me, while Carlisle seemed to be considering me in that contemplative way he does, but the affection was still there as it always has been.

"You have your own parents." Edward grumbled, apparently unmoved by the emotions swirling around the room.

"My mother refuses to see me…"

"Because you threw your life away for a girl!" Edward interrupted, raising his voice. "That's what it all comes back to. It's that stupid whore's fault!"

"Edward!"

"It's true!" He protested, standing again. "She should be arrested for prostitution or something!"

To the surprise of everyone in the room, Emmett pushed his brother back into the chair.

"I've had enough of this garbage you keep repeating." He said, his face serious and just a touch angry as well. "Let me break this down for you bro, because I'm tired of your whining." Esme was about to interject, but Carlisle shook his head, taking hold of her hand. "Alice and Bella are in love, and I know that sucks for you because you loved Bella first, but it's not going to change. Acting like an asshole isn't going to bring her back to you." Edward scowled at his brother intent on interrupting, but Emmet wasn't having it. "Now look, you're my brother and I love you, but just because we share blood doesn't mean I'm going to blindly agree with what you say and do. In fact, right now I think you're being a little shit. I get where you're coming from. Bella shouldn't have slept with Alice while you guys were married. That one's on her, but it's not an excuse for you to lose all decency. Despite everything, I still care about you both, so I won't choose between you. The way I see it, you have two options. Either man-up and move on, or continue to act like a prick and lose even more. It's like Gump said, "Shit happens." You don't let it ruin your life." Emmett finished, turning back around and pulling a shocked rose gently up out of her seat. "Come on Rosie, I've said what I need to."

With that, they walked out of the room, leaving an impressive silence behind them. Edward was staring hard at a spot on the floor, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Esme looked somewhere between proud and disbelieving at what just took place. Carlisle on the other hand was beaming.

"I don't believe anyone could have said it better than my son did just now." He said, a slight chuckle coming out with his words. Edward glared at his father, but remained silent.

"Perhaps this would be a good place to end today…give everyone a chance to think it over." Doctor Miller said, returning Carlisle's happiness, though slightly more subdued. We all stood to leave, once again silently, and I pulled out my phone. As Esme, Carllisle and Edward got in the elevator, I decided I'd take the stairs, so I could call Alice.

"Bella?" She answered after the first ring. "Is everything okay? I thought you'd be a while still."

"We finished early."

Despite our original plans, Alice and I ended up going to a movie and then picking up some Chinese food to have at home. That's how we ended up sitting on the floor, leaning against our couch with a half dozen white boxes on the coffee table in front of us.

"Have you tried the beef and broccoli yet?" I shook my head and Alice dug into a box, pulling out a piece of meat with her chopsticks and holding it in front of my face. Without a word I opened my mouth, letting her place the deliciously marinated piece in my mouth. I moaned at the flavor and she beamed at me. "Good right?" We should definitely eat there more often."

A comfortable silence surrounded us as we continued eating, occasionally feeding each other bits of food. It was odd, but the last couple days, our relationship seemed to have matured. I couldn't really place when I started thinking of Alice as a woman rather than a teenager, but it definitely helped my sensibilities. I wasn't blind to the fact that I babied her a bit, and it wasn't completely involuntary. If I told her to take a jacket, or eat some vegetables at dinner, she'd just roll her eyes, but would normally do as I asked. She knows I worry about her. After everything we've been through and Edward spewing hate at her everytime I see him, I guess I'm overprotective.

I looked up from my bowl of rice and over at Alice. She was bobbing her head along to some song in her head, wiggling her feet back and forth with some beat. She had changed into a pair of sleep shorts and tank top for the summer heat, but despite the somewhat adolescent clothes, she still looked older to me. I scrutinized her appearance, when the realization hit me. Her hair wasn't spikey. She had it neatly brushed down into a sleeker look. In addition to her wearing her make up a bit lighter and more natural, she looked closer to twenty-five.

"Bella?" I shook myself back to the presence to realize that Alice was watching me with an amused curiosity. "Why are you staring at me?" She asked with a smirk. My eyes unconsciously moved back to her hair and she caught me, frowning a little. "I was just trying something different. Do you not like it?"

I quickly placed my bowl on the table and swung around so I was straddling Alice's lap.

"No, Alice! I love your hair." I said, sliding my fingers through the silky tresses, before letting them clasp at the back of her neck. "I like it cute and spikey or sleek and sexy." I said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss as the smile returned to her face.

"Then why were you looking at me?"

"Cause you're beautiful."

Alice rolled her eyes and scoffed, playfully looking at her nails like she was bored.

"Well that's obvious. I meant besides that." She said.

"Perhaps I was admiring your modesty." I returned smirking at her, as she pretended to be shocked at my sarcasm. I finally decided to just answer the question, knowing she wouldn't let it go. "I was actually thinking that you look a bit older."

"Is that a good thing?" Alice asked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Or do you prefer your girls to be young, naïve, and eager to please you?" She said, her voice low in my ear, causing my body to flush with heat despite my indignation at such a remark. "You like those sweet, soft, little bodies, huh?" She continued, but a giggle slipped out at the end and I leaned back, smacking her on the arm.

"EWW! Alice! You're making me sound like a pedophile or something!" I exclaimed, moving myself off her lap. She wasn't having that, though, and tightened her arms around my waist, pulling me back towards her until our stomachs were touching.

"I'm sorry, I was just kidding. I didn't mean it like that." She said, her laughter forgotten at my upset expression. "Apparently, I hit a nerve though." She said, moving her head to try and capture my evasive gaze.

I knew she was just joking around, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about whether what I was doing with her was wrong. She was eighteen when we met, so it wasn't illegal, but still. She was eighteen. Now only nineteen.

No words were spoken, but it seemed to be a mutual decision to move up to the couch, where Alice sat cross legged facing me, watching me apprehensively, as I continued to battle my thoughts.

"You don't actually believe that you're taking advantage of me, do you?" I shrugged, which was apparently the wrong thing to do as Alice let out a frustrated growl. "UN-believable!"

I started to get a little angry at her lack of understanding. It was easier for her. People see her as the victim, if anything.

"Well Excuse me Alice if I don't blind myself to our age difference and how it's perceived? You're not even twenty yet, and I'm going on thirty! Do you seriously not see how people look at us when we walk around? It's not because we're both girls Alice. Gay couples are a dime a dozen in our neighborhood." Alice scowled at me, mirroring my crossed arms.

"Of course I see them. But I don't care!"

"WELL I DO!" I said, quite a bit louder than I intended. Alice didn't react, but just glared at me for a minute before standing up.

"So what, Bella? You've obviously had this issue for a while, and you're just bringing it up now?"

"Well maybe I would have brought it up sooner, if someone wasn't always distracting me with sex."

Alice reeled back like I'd slapped her. Shit.

"Well you'll have plenty of time to think now, because I can guarantee there's no sex in your near future!" She said, storming away.

"Alice, wait…" The slam of the bedroom door cut me off and I slumped back into the couch, digging the heels of my hands into my eyes. "Fuck."