NB it now goes away from the show so there is a large break after committed before it gets to scenes you will recognise from the TV again

just to let you know so you weren't wondering if this was on the show.

Sara awoke and padded into the unfamiliar kitchen on bare feet, she grabbed her shirt from the living room and shrugged it on after pulling on her trousers from the corridor to the bedroom.

She found the coffee machine and quickly set it going, she hugged herself close, as she realised what she had done last night. 'God, what have I done? I can't believe what we did last night.'

Her mind returned to memories of last night, it was more incredible than she had imagined was possible. She still needed to think though. She still wanted a child, but she wanted one soon. She wanted Grissom's but knew that that wouldn't happen, not for some time at least. She needed to think.

The coffee boiled and she grabbed a mug and poured it in quickly. Gulping down the hot liquid she didn't hear as Grissom approached her.

He came up behind her and hugged her from behind. Sara relaxed her head onto his shoulder and held the coffee in her hand. Grissom reached past her grabbed the coffee and drank the last mouthful down.

Sara suddenly realised what she was doing and that she still needed to think.

"I, I have to , ermmm, get back. I need to get changed before work."

"OK, give me a second to get dressed properly and I'll drive you back."

She dumbly nodded as he left to go get dressed, shouting through that she would go get the bus instead, she grabbed her purse from the table and ran out of the house after fumbling with the lock on the door.

She reached the bus stop near his house just as the bus pulled up. Muttering the stop to the driver and pulling some money out, she hurried to a seat and sat down. Glancing out of the window she saw Grissom staring out of his bedroom window at the bus, a defeated and confused look on his face.

Grissom sat on the sofa they had both been together on a few hours before, his head in his hands. Wondering what had gone wrong and if she was OK.

He remembered the look he saw on her face as she had sat down in the bus, shaken almost terrified, full of sadness, but what he feared the most was the regret he had seen in her eyes.

'Please don't let her be regretting last night. Please don't me have hurt her, I even tried to stop but she seemed ready. I can't believe I ruined everything so much. It was too soon after what had happened at the crime scene.' He forced his mind away from the memory of Sara defenseless been held down on the floor. But his mind only jumped back to the image of her that morning.

'She looked so beautiful. No wonder she ran away, what would a woman like that want with me anyway?'

His mind also saw the pain in her eyes as she had told him she had to go, was it pain at what she had done or at the fact that she was leaving? He didn't know and couldn't work out which. He forced himself to move, to get a coffee, and then to take a shower. His mind constantly running over last night, the hours they had spent with each other, waking up to see her there with him, the rightness of it all.

Waking up to find himself alone in bed, walking into the kitchen to see her holding herself and almost shaking, his inability to comfort her when she still needed it, her pained expression as she told him she needed to go, her reluctance to accept his offer of help, and her face gazing up at him from the window of the bus.

He forced himself to do all the routine things that morning, not to drive over to Sara's and see if she was OK. She obviously needed some time alone. He made breakfast, got dressed, caught up on some paperwork he still had with him from work, ordered some groceries, tidied up the kitchen, picked up the cushions they had dislodged off the couch. All the time trying to force his mind away from all images and thoughts of Sara, and fruitless attempts to work out what she had been thinking and whether she was OK. And failing utterly.

Sara sat on the bus on the way back to his apartment, remembering Grissom's face. 'Please don't let him be too hurt by this. I just needed some time to think. That night was so incredible. I just didn't want him to realise how bad the mistake he made was. I wanted to remember it well, at least now when he severs all ties between us it won't be at the end of the first memory and that one can stay happy.'

She broke down, still sat on the bus, tears silently rolling down her cheeks as she sat staring out of the window, and seeing nothing but his face as the bus had driven away. She arrived at home, mind now racing. Refusing to let her mind think about doing what she had decided to do. Grabbing a small suitcase from the top of her wardrobe she grabbed some clothes out of her wardrobe and her toothbrush and anything else she could think of which she would need, placed them all in the suitcase and closed it. Dragging it behind her she went into the living room, leaving her suitcase by the door she went to the phone table, after jotting down the number of the clinic of some paper she then pushed into her back pocket, she called a Taxi, to take her to the CSI building, left a quick answerphone message on Catherine's phone. And walked out of the door to wait for the cab.

While she sat on her suitcase waiting she pulled out the number from her back pocket. Fingering the scrap of paper nervously in her hand, she ran over all the options in her mind, but still stayed focused on what her aim was and made her decision.

Rummaging around in her purse until she found her cell phone she pulled it out and typed in the number from the paper.

Staring at it for a moment she slammed the phone shut. After a few moment she opened the cell phone and typed the number back in.

Taking a deep breath in she pressed the call button and held the phone to her ear shuffling the paper in her free hand nervously.

"Good Afternoon, Munroe clinic."

"Hi, this is Sara Sidle, can I make an appointment with Dr. Mac please?"

"Of course Miss. Sidle, can I enquire as to the kind of appointment you need, and when would you like it?"

"As soon as possible please."

"Hold on one second please, is 9:00 tomorrow morning ok?"

"It should be, can I call you back to confirm in about 10 minutes?"

"That's absolutely fine Miss. Sidle." Sara shut the phone, climbed into the newly arrived taxi. Climbed out again at the CSI building before calling the clinic back after thinking for a few moments.

'Am I ready?' She wondered as they drove, 'Yes, and nothing is going to change my mind this time. I made my decision and I'm going to stick with it!'

"Hello Munroe clinic" The woman answered.

"Hi this is Sara Sidle we spoke about 10 minutes ago. Yes 9:00 tomorrow is perfectly fine if it is still available."

"Yes Miss. Sidle it's still available. I'll just book you in. May I enquire as to the purpose of the appointment please, so I can inform Dr. Mac more throughly?"

"I've made my decision." She said shortly before shutting the phone and setting off to find a hotel near the clinic.