CHAPTER 5: TRUST IS BROKEN

Pickles let out a tired half-snore, half-moan and turned over in his bed. He opened his eyes a little, saw the golden sunlight that was illuminating the room, and put a pillow over his face. In the back of his mind he wondered why he'd been allowed to sleep so late—what happened to class? Then again, he didn't really care enough to get himself out of bed and ask Toki; he just fell right back into a gentle doze before being awakened by the feeling of something disgustingly warm and wet on his hand. He slapped the air aimlessly, trying to make this sleep-shattering distraction leave, but it came back.

"Toki, leave me alone! I wanna sleep!"

His words were met with a gentle nudge of fur and a small howl in his ear. Pickles let out a startled gasp and sat up. He was surprised to see a young puppy in his bed, staring happily up at him. He gathered quickly that this was far from any ordinary dog, however, because its eyes were an astonishing liquid gold color, much like the light that was now drifting into the room, and its fur was blacker than midnight. Pickles backed away from the animal, clutching another pillow to his chest. Only when his back was flat against the wall did he try to lightly kick the puppy away.

"Get away, you stupid..." but he couldn't hurt the animal. In a second it was nuzzling his foot and licking it, letting out small, playful yelps. Pickles' eyes grew wide as he ran a hand thru his hair. "Unbelievable." he pushed the pup aside gently then got up and knocked on the bathroom door. The puppy didn't hesitate to follow him, its mesmerizing eyes aglow with delight. It jumped up, clawed at the redhead's jeans, and gnawed at his toes. Pickles let out a hiss of annoyance and picked the thing up. When the bathroom door opened, he held the animal up in front of the other teenager's face. "Hey, Toki, you gat somethin' to explain to me?"

"Explains?" the Norwegian repeated, "Explains what?"

Pickles said angrily, "What the fuck is 'dis doin' here?"

"Ohs...well..." Toki's voice trailed off as he stepped out of the bathroom. He took the animal away from the redhead and went to sit on his bed. His long, caramel-colored hair dripped from the shower he'd just taken, chilling him, but he didn't care. He just gave Pickles a horrible, sorrowful, pleading gaze with his pale blue eyes. "Please, Pickle, please."

Pickles knew all too well what the other teenager was trying to do. He'd played this game far too many times in his own life. "No," he said firmly, sitting beside Toki on the bed. "we're nat keepin' it."

"Buts he ams all alone."

"Huh?" he glanced down at the yellow-eyed beast and a little bit of fear filled his heart. No, this was no dog. His face paled as the realization hit him, and he scooted away from the animal. Toki just shook his head in denial.

"No, Pickle, you don't gets it. He was-"

"It's a wolf!" he exclaimed, kicking Toki hard in the ribs. "You brought a fuckin' wolf into our room? How stupid are you?"

"I can explain!"

"No, no fuckin' way! Give it here." he held out his hand. Toki didn't move, he just sat there petting the wolf puppy, feeling its soft fur between his fingers.

"What ams you going to do with it?"

"Bring it back to the forest where it belongs! Gad, how could you be so stupid?" Pickles rolled his eyes. The school was surrounded by thick woods and he'd known that some wildlife inhabited it—only a fool would think otherwise—but he'd never thought that Toki would do something so stupid, even if he did love animals. "Where'd you get it from, anyway? Did you take it from it's mom when she wasn't looking?"

The Norwegian shook his head. He gave the wolf puppy a little kiss on the nose and then said, "He was alones, and he looked reallys cold and sad and hungry, so I picked him up ands put him in my jacket."

"And you fed him?"

"Ja." he confessed.

Pickles cursed and threw a pillow down onto the floor in frustration. "You idiot! You're never supposed to feed stuff, nat ever! If you feed it, then you get attached!"

"Nos," Toki disagreed, "if you names it you get attached."

"Did you name it?"

"Don't you means did I name him?"

Pickles tried to control his growing anger as he nodded and said curtly, "Yeah, whatever."

He smiled. "Hims name ams Eyulf."

The redhead gave him a clueless look. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Eyulf," Toki repeated patiently. "it means lucky wolf."

"Oh my Gad, you really named it..." he shook his head and sighed. " 'Dat means I'm gonna have to kill you to get rid of it."

The Norwegian hesitated before saying, "Well we don't haves to gets rid of him. Look, he ams still too tired to survive out in the wilds anyway-" he held the yellow-eyed wolf up to Pickles and added, "-he woulds die."

Guilt tugged at the redhead's stomach as he stared into Eyulf's golden eyes. Sure, the thing was adorable and manageable now, but what about in another month or two? How long would it take for the wolf to realize that he was the predator and the two teenagers before him were prey? Still, he couldn't say no, not with Toki and Eyulf giving him that look. Finally he nodded and said in defeat, "Fine, but what're we gonna do? Do they even allow animals here?"

"Nopes, but I already thoughts of that. See," Toki explained, letting the wolf puppy jump out of his arms and onto the floor. "all we haves to do is train him to be really stills when someone comes in."

"That's stupid. He'd never stay still. Look at him." he motioned to Eyulf, who was now busy running around the small room in circles, letting out loud, weak howls.

"Wells we could trains him to hide. He ams really smart."

"That's stupid too. Look, the best thing to do would be to never, ever go out in the middle of a forest and pick up wild animals again." he said, trying to ease his anger by making a joke of the whole situation.

Toki's face filled with despair. "Buts he was sos cute and sad!"

"Yeah," Pickles rolled his eyes. "right, just like you, huh?" he didn't realize the full effect of his words until about a second later when Toki was giving him a strange, confused look.

"Whats do you mean by that?"

Then he realized that he'd accidentally called the Norwegian cute, and he raced to correct his mistake. "Don't be a fag, you know what I meant—I meant you look sad, fuckin' pitiful." he went over, scooped up the hyper Eyulf, and threw him over to Toki. "Take care of the thing, will ya? If he pisses or shits in the room, you clean it up, and if he's hungry then you feed him, alright?"

"Fines." he smiled down at the wolf pup joyously. "Thanks yous, Pickle!"

"Yeah, just don't let anyone know you gat him, alright?"

Toki nodded and began playing with Eyulf childishly. "Okays."

"And I'm nat callin' him that stupid name you said earlier." Pickles added, watching the two fool around. "I'm gonna think of a better name, one 'dats actually right."

"Right?" he glanced up at the redhead, looking puzzled. "What ams you mean, right?"

"Y'know, in English. I know!" he picked up the wolf pup by the scruff of its neck, held it up to eye-level, and announced, "Hey, fucker, listen t'me, alr-"

"Don'ts calls him fucker."

"I'm nat!" and he turned his attention back to the wolf. "You're name is-" the puppy lashed out in a sudden fit of aggression and bit the redhead's nose. Pickles threw it to the ground and fell back, blood dripping down his face. Toki's eyes filled with fear as he hurried to restrain the wolf.

"Pickle, he ams just excited, he didn'ts mean-"

"Fang." he said simply, taking his jacket and throwing it over his shoulders. "The thing's name is Fang." and he opened the door, prepared to go out, but Toki stopped him.

"Wait, where ams you going? It ams our day off, we don't have to go to any classes."

He arched a brow. "Really? What day is it?"

"Lørdag."

"In English?"

"Saturdays."

"Oh. Well I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go get breakfast." Pickles left the room and the Norwegian followed, still cradling the wolf pup to his chest. The more they walked, the more depressed Pickles became. He stopped and turned to Toki and Fang. "Do they have any vending machines here with American food in them? Y'know, like Skittles or Snickers or-"

"Ja, a few."

"Then let's go get some food."

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"You really are fucked in the head, you know 'dat?" Pickles inquired as he walked beside Toki outside. The Norwegian was still clinging to Fang; the redhead sneered at this. "What happens when there are other people around? How're you gonna hide it then, huh?"

He shrugged. "I'll thinks of that when the time comes." he gleefully began running his fingers thru the young wolf's fur. "Jeg elsker deg," he whispered to the animal sweetly, "jeg elsker d-"

"Shut it." Pickles snapped, unable to contain his annoyance any longer. So the same stupid creature that had woken him up from the greatest dream of his life was now the sole object of Toki's affection? He didn't know why it bothered him so much, but it did, and this didn't escape the Norwegian's notice.

He elbowed the redhead lightly and inquired, "Ams you so mad because you're hungry?"

"No." he said, his voice full of resentment. He'd never tell Toki the true reason for his anger. How could he? I'm mad because you've only met the stupid dog three seconds ago and you fuckin' love the damn thing...

"Well then what ams it?"

"Shut up." Pickles mumbled dejectedly, following Toki thru the snowy yard of the school. Nobody was out yet. It was still pretty early for students to be moving about, so his thoughts of someone seeing the young wolf were pushed to the back of his mind. He'd worry some other time, but now he was starving. His stomach let out a loud growl as they walked along, trudging thru the snow. He spit on the ground and asked, "Doesn't it ever stap snowing in 'dis stupid place?" Toki just looked down at his boots and laughed. He tried to hide it, but Pickles heard him anyway and glared over at him. "What? Damn it, why're you always laughin' at me? Do you want me to fuckin' kill you?"

"Nos, but-"

"Then stap laughin' at-"

He laughed again, but this time he was smart enough to explain, "I'm sorrys, you ams just so funny."

The redhead stopped walking and arched a brow. "What? Me, funny?"

Toki quit walking as well and turned to him. "Ja, especially the way you talks like that all the time—I likes it."

"It's just how I talk."

"Do I haves an accent?"

"Yeah," he said, grinning, "you can't speak English, now c'man, let's go. I'm fuckin' starving." he resumed trudging thru the snow until they reached the first vending machine. He licked his lips then pressed his face to the glass. Candy bars were packed in there by the dozen, and he quickly whipped out his wallet and attempted to force a dollar bill into the machine. It just spit the currency back out. Pickles frowned at this and turned to Toki. "Why won't it take my money?"

"Maybe because this ams Norway and in Norway we don't use thats money." he said as if it were obvious. "Here." he pulled out a crinkled, slightly torn bill from his own pocket and jammed it into the machine. Pickles immediately felt guilty that he'd driven Toki to do this, but once that candy bar was in his hand, he could care less.

"I'll pay you back."

Toki shrugged. "Forgets it. I'm goings to be poor no matters what, one dollar won't makes any difference."

"Thanks." he ripped off the packaging and bit into it. His mouth was greeted with a disgustingly different taste, and he spat it out. Toki gave him a confused look.

"Well, Gods, if you don't likes it, why did you buy it?"

"What is 'dis crap? This is nat candy! It's-"

"Mandelstang."

Pickels glared at him and demanded hostilly, "What the fuck did you just call me?"

The Norwegian shook his head, took the candy bar, and picked the wrapper up from off the ground. Meanwhile Fang jumped from his arms and began to lick at the snow on Pickles' shoes. "This," Toki said, indicating the wrapper, "ams a candy bar. I don't know what you haves in America, but-"

"It tastes all gross and weird!"

"It ams just mint in the middle with chocolate and almonds on tops." he shrugged and ate the bar whole. "See? It ams good. Nots the best, but-"

"Buy me somethin' better."

"I can'ts." he said tactfully, picking up Fang. "That was my lasts dollar."

"Please." Pickles begged. "I'm fuckin' dying!"

Toki let out a frustrated sigh then went back over to the vending machine. "Fines, I'll buy you something you'll likes." he inserted his last dollar into the machine and in a moment there was another wrapped bar in his hands. "Freia melkesjokolade," he said, passing the candy to Pickles. "enjoys."

He unwrapped it and took a small, cautious bite. His eyes grew wide and his mouth craved more. Yes, he must have more of this magic. He met Toki's expectant, happy gaze and exclaimed, "What the hell is this shit?"

"What, you don't likes it either? God, you ams picky. It's just-"

"What is it? It's the best thing I ever ate!"

The Norwegian laughed at him and said simply, "It ams just chocolate, idiot."

Apparently the quality of American chocolate was a joke compared to that of Norwegian chocolate. Pickles hurriedly finished the rest of the bar and then he and Toki began to make their way back up their room. The Norwegian removed his jacket and carefully placed it over Fang as they walked; it was later now, and a few people passed them as they went back to the room. He instructed the young wolf, "Don'ts move." and coolly kept up pace with Pickles. The redhead frowned at this.

"You can't keep hidin' him forever, y'know."

"I knows." he responded. "But I'm just nots ready to let him go yet."

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Pickles' first day off was long and rather boring. Although he relished the time he got to spend alone with Toki—no, with himself, because no matter what he still didn't need anyone else—he still longed for something to do. At the end of the day he laid on his bed staring at the wall as the Norwegian played with Fang. His green eyes glowed when he shifted them upon Toki, saw him behaving in such an amazingly beautiful, carefree way. His stomach filled with a sudden warm, almost shameful feeling, and he swallowed as it engulfed his whole body. More time slowly passed and as the last few rays of precious sunlight came in thru the window, Toki got up and said, "I'ms going to go take a shower. Can you watch Fang?"

"Huh?" he'd nearly been asleep. "Yeah, alright, whatever." and the young wolf was deposited into his arms. Pickles watched carefully as the Norwegian got his clothes and went into the bathroom; he then closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep again, but about a dozen lewd images filled his head. Pickles grinned and patted fang on his furry head. "You're lucky," he said with a sigh, "you're too small to get horny." Fang simply growled a little and bit his index finger. Pickles yanked his hand out of the animal's mouth and smacked it sharply on the nose. "Shit! Don't do 'dat!" The young wolf let out a disappointed little growl and hopped up onto the redhead's chest. It turned in a circle for a few times before finally laying down and closing its eyes. Pickles sneered, "Stupid thing. 'Dat's why you're still around, that's why I can't get rid of you; you're too fuckin' cute."

He heard the shower switch on in the bathroom, and his face grew red. He needed to be alone, and he needed it now. He itched his thigh, removed Fang from his chest, and sat up. He bit his lip and looked around the room. Pickles didn't know at that particular moment what kind of help he needed, only that he needed it soon—he needed it now. Without thinking he got up and went and pounded on the bathroom door. Toki sounded annoyed as he cried, "Whats the hell ams wrong? I'm in the-"

"Yeah, well get out."

"Buts-"

"Did you just turn the water an?"

A pause then, "Ja."

"You aren't covered in soap?"

"Nos, buts-"

"Then get out."

"I-"

"Please! 'Dis is really, really important." when no answer came, Pickles knocked on the door again. "Hey, you getting out, or what?"

"Nos."

He let out a loud, angry yell. "But I need the bathroom now! It can't wait!"

"It ams going to have to!"

Pickles, not knowing what else to do, let his anger take over. He kicked open the bathroom door and threw Toki's clothes outside. In an instant the Norwegian had switched off the shower and was yelling, "What the fucks ams you doing in here?"

"Get out now, I said! Gad, what are you, stupid? I ain't fuckin' around, so get out now!"

"But I'ms naked!"

"So what? Just get out!"

Toki's dripping wet hand reached beyond the shower curtain and took hold of a towel. He got out of the shower, a deadly look on his face. "I thought you weren't goings to do this kinds of shit anymore. I thought-"

"I'm nat, I'm just-" he swallowed and stared at the Norwegian in his towel. He was trembling with cold and anger, clearly struggling to hold back his temper. In the end all Pickles could manage to do was mumble out a hasty apology and push Toki the rest of the way out of the bathroom. After locking the door he turned and surveyed the empty room. There was a faded shirt laying in a crumpled heap next to the sink; he picked it up, prepared to throw it back out to Toki, but stopped. Pickles ran his hand along the fabric, bunched it up in his hands. Without thinking, he closed his eyes and brought it up to his nose.

So that's what Toki smelled like. It was a scent that he partially recognized from some other kids at his school—it was the oddly prominent smell of adolescence. To be exact, it was the combined smells of sweat, sugar, and insecurity. Pickles could only describe it as that. He'd smelled like that a few years ago, but now he was more grown up and aware of his position in the world. The kind of smell that hung on Toki's shirt was a childish one, one that showed the Norwegian's true lack of maturity. He liked it. There was also something else about that delicious smell—it was sweet, like every good thing Pickles could imagine. It was like sex, love, candy, kisses, compassion, and strawberry wine—his favorite drink ever, though he wouldn't admit it—all wrapped up into one magnificent little bunch of wrinkled, over-worn fabric.

He felt himself inhale again and again, and, without warning, begin to cry. Above all, it smelled like home. No, not his pitiful excuse for a home in Wisconsin, but the home that he'd always wished for. He wanted to be surrounded in the smell forever, if that was possible. Maybe then he'd finally feel like he belonged somewhere. With this last thought, Pickles was sent spiraling into a sea of deep depression. It hit him then that no matter what he wouldn't belong to anyone or anywhere. He was a loner, and he was trapped in his own sense of inferiority. He went over, sat on the edge of the tub, and held the shirt tightly in his hands. He boldly smelled it again, then closed his green eyes and repeated this action until his nose burned with the scent. All at once he became aware of just the particular relief he needed, and he unzipped his pants. He glanced over at the door to make sure it was still locked, pressed Toki's shirt to his nose again, and began.

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"Sorry about the shower." Pickles commented as he exited the bathroom and threw the shirt onto his bed. "I just needed some-"

"Please just shuts up." the Norwegian cut him off. He was focused on feeding Fang some scraps he'd kept from the dining hall. "Whats took you so long anyways? I thought you just hads to go piss or somethings."

"I...uh..." his face turned almost as red as his hair. He hid this by turning to face the wall. "N-Nothin', I wasn't doin' nothing, it's just...I..."

"Sorry I asked." Toki mumbled, petting Fang gently.

"No, it's-"

"Did you sees my shirt?"

"Huh?" Pickles' face paled. He threw his pillows over the faded shirt that was on his bed then laid down on the covers. "Shirt? What're you talkin' about?"

Toki's pale eyes analyzed him carefully before he explained, "My shirts, it ams an old blue ones. I thought I broughts it in the bathroom, but I guess I lost it."

"Must have, 'cause there wasn't nothin' in there."

"That sucks." he sighed. "Guess I haves to get a new shirt, now."

Pickles raced to say, "You can borrow one of mine!"

Toki arched a brow and asked doubtfully, as if he thought the redhead was playing some joke on him, "Reallys?"

He jumped off of his bed, went over to his suitcase, and opened it. "Yeah, sure, any one you want. What about this one?" It, like Toki's, was old, faded, and well-worn, plain black with a white AC/DC logo on the front. The Norwegian shrugged. It was only now that Pickles realized that the other teenager was laying on his bed shirtless, his slender and surprisingly muscular frame totally exposed. He threw the shirt over to him before closing his suitcase.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, no prablem. S'old, anyway. I gat a million AC/DC shirts." Honestly, he actually wanted nothing more than to see Toki wearing his clothes. It was a stupid, odd thought, but Pickles couldn't help but imagine Toki sniffing that old AC/DC shirt. He wondered what he smelled like—probably disgusting, like booze, vomit, and cigarette smoke. If the Norwegian smelled this, would he like it? Pickles felt his face growing hot as he rose to his feet and went back over to his bed. He whistled to Fang and patted his mattress. "C'man, you little fucker." the young wolf's yellow eyes sparkled as he abandoned his table-scrap meal and jumped over onto the redhead's bed. Fang glanced over at the window, up at the full moon, and let out a loud, solemn howl. Pickles quickly put his hands over the wolf's jaws and forced them shut. "No, shut up! You're gonna get us in trouble, you little-"

"You ams really nice," Toki commented, smiling at Pickles thoughtfully. "even if you don't wants to be."

"Yeah, well...fuck that. No I'm nat, I suck. I'm fuckin' horrible." he swallowed; suddenly he was craving that smell again. He had to fight back the overwhelming urge to pin Toki to his bed and press his nose to the Norwegian's bare skin...

What on Earth was he thinking? What was happening to him?

"Goodnights, Pickle."

"Yeah, night." just like that he was left alone in the dark by himself, like every other night of his life, only this time he didn't feel so pitifully alone. He didn't feel like a miserable, worthless speck of nothingness. As he closed his eyes and snuggled up to Fang, he felt almost happy.

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Visitor's day came sooner than Pickles would have liked, and soon he was forced to share Toki's attention with his two best friends. He showed them around the school then took them up to his room, mostly just to get out of the spotlight for a while—the other students were all staring at him and his strange-talking, American friends as though they were all aliens. Pickles didn't really blame them, though, because Gunther and Jen behaved like he had before coming to the school—they were loud, obnoxious, and they wanted to fight or fuck anything that moved. He was almost afraid to let Toki meet them, but he didn't have much of a choice. He introduced the two as, "Yeah, 'dis is stupid Gunter Bekker and Jen Gabardi."

Jen, who was clinging to Pickles and desperately trying to hold his attention, noticed Toki and let her dark eyes grow wide. "Who's he, baby?" she asked the redhead; he just rolled his eyes. He'd heard the way she said 'he'. Who's he, baby? Generally meant, You think he would fuck me? Stupid, slutty Jen. God, he loved her.

"My roommate." Pickles answered, pulling Jen a little closer.

"The cute one, right?" Gunther asked, sitting on Pickles' bed and smiling at the Norwegian. Next to the bed he threw down a large book sack full of the things that Pickles had asked for—a couple of bottles of vodka—sneaking that all the way to Norway hadn't been an easy task—his drumsticks, and tons of greasy, American snacks. He also laid down an acoustic guitar. "He is cute. He's almost-"

"Shut up, you stupid fag!" Pickles howled, closing the door to the room. "He isn't gay—nobody here is but you, so just save it." He couldn't say anything else, because in a moment Jen was pulling him over to Toki's bed.

"You know, it was a really long flight here." she crooned.

"Oh yeah?" he began playing with some of her long, dark, curled hair. God, he loved her hair. It was lush, not flat and boring like so many other girls'. "And what were you thinkin' about on that long, long flight?"

"What do you think?" she pressed her lips to his cheek and laughed.

Toki just seemed lost. He stood in the middle of the room unsure of what to do or even if his presence was still welcome. Pickles noticed this and rushed to correct it; he wanted to make the Norwegian feel perfectly at home, because, surprisingly enough, nobody had come to visit Toki today. The other teenager had just been left to sit up in his room playing with Fang while everyone else visited and laughed with their friends. Now Pickles pushed Jen away from him and called to Toki, "Hey, you feelin' okay?"

"Do I really haves to stay in here with you guys? I don'ts..."he looked away and picked up Fang. "I can go."

"No, don't!" the redhead exclaimed, urging Toki over to where Gunther was sitting. "Talk to Bekker, he's great." he was torn—of course he wanted to make the Norwegian feel welcome, but he also wanted to receive Jen's attention right now. Without knowing what to do, he resorted to his old ways, and melted back into Jen's sweet embrace. Things didn't turn out as badly as he'd expected them too. Surprisingly, Toki was able to talk to Gunther quite easily. He even brought out Fang and let Bekker hold him.

"So it's a wolf?"

"Ja."

"Ah, okay. Pretty cool." he reached out to pat Fang's head, but hesitated and glanced over at Toki. "Does it bite?"

He shrugged. "Ja, when he wants tos."

Gunther grinned and scooted a little closer to the Norwegian. He gently rubbed Fang's back and then inquired, "So you've lived here your entire life, right?"

"Ja."

"Ja—what's that mean? Is that like yeah?"

Toki nodded and repeated, smiling timidly, "Ja."

"That's so fuckin' cu-"

"Gunter!" Pickles hissed, breaking away from Jen.

Bekker turned to his friend and raced to say, "What? I wasn't gonna say nothin' bad."

Pickles scoffed. "Yeah, right. Everything you say is bad, you fuckin' dick." and he allowed himself to be overcome by Jen again. He pressed a hand up her short skirt, felt her warm skin beneath his palm, and whispered, "The girls here don't have anything on you, baby."

She laughed and kissed him. "When do they leave—Bekker and the other one?"

"Why?" he ran his lips along her cheek. "You wanna be alone?"

"Yeah, I really do."

"Fine. Hold—Gunter!" he exclaimed, throwing Jen off of him and onto the floor. Bekker was holding Toki's hands, whispering to him only God knew what. He hurriedly pulled the two apart then hauled his best friend to his feet. "You fuckin' idiot! I can't look away for one second without you tryin' to-"

"Maybe we should go outisde?" Bekker suggested.

"Why the fuck would we do 'dat?"

Gunther motioned to Toki, and Pickles let out an enraged growl. "You fuckin' fag, I swear to Gad if you don't leave him alone, then-"

"Baby, you hurt me!" Jen whined, sitting up with Toki's help. She flashed an enticing smile at the Norwegian and said in an overly friendly way, "Thank you so much, baby. Pickles would never help me. He's always-"

"Shut up! Both of you, just quit it!" Pickles cried, pushing Gunther away from him. "Look, I wanted you two to come here to see me, nat to-"

"We weren't doing anything! You're delusional!" Bekker argued, pushing Pickles right back. "Fuck this! I didn't come all the way to God damn Norway for this!"

"What the hell did you come for, then?" he demanded.

"Pickle!" Toki blurted out, his pale eyes full of alarm. "Maybes I should just go."

"Fuck no! Why should you have to leave! This ain't your fau-"

"He should leave so we can be alone, like you said." Jen interrupted, crossing her arms and pouting, " 'Cause I thought we were gonna get some alone time."

"Fine!" Pickles took Gunther's arm and hauled him over to the door. "Get out and lemme deal with you later! You and Toki get the fuck outta my room!"

"Buts why me?"

His green eyes locked with Toki's pale ones. Please, he silently begged, please let me be alone with Jen. Ultimately, the Norwegian nodded in compliance and stepped outside with Gunther. "Good." Pickles sighed and went back over to his girl. "Now what kinda alone time did you want again?" Jen gave him a seductive smile.

"Any kind you want, baby."

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"This is fucking bullshit!" Gunther yelled, kicking the wall. "Who the hell does he think he is? I just flew a whole day in a fucking plane, and-"

"I'ms sorry." Toki said, sitting down on the floor. "It ams my fault." Bekker cast him a sympathetic gaze and went to sit right next to him. It was as if the anger was completely drained from his body when he heard the Norwegian speak. He loved it. His voice was so calming, so soothing. Sure, he knew that Pickles would kill him if he tried anything, but still...

"It's not your fault, it's mine." he dared to reach for Toki's hand again. When the Norwegian let him have it, he felt a little bolder, so he scooted closer to the other boy and smiled charmingly. "He's homophobic."

The other teenager became confused by this. "He ams a what?"

"Homoph—wait, he didn't tell you? Oh, man." Gunther laughed and held Toki's hand a little tighter. "I can't believe he didn't tell you that I'm gay."

"You ams what?"

"Gay—you do know what that means, right?"

He nodded, still allowing Gunther to touch him. "Ja, I thinks so, but why would he hates you because of that?"

"Because he—well we did something."

Toki's pale eyes grew wide. "You dids? What?"

Gunther brushed this question aside and said loftily, "Oh, nothin' you'd be interested in. Besides, he'd kill me if I told anyone, especially you."

"What happened?" the Norwegian asked again, this time with more force behind his voice. The other boy laughed again and pulled him into his lap. Toki sat there, his cheeks burning, his hair in his face, not knowing how to react to this. Nobody had ever shown him this kind of attention before, and he loved it. He wanted more. "What happened?" he repeated.

"Me and him, back in middle school—eighth grade, I think," Gunther began, "we used to hang out in this field a lot. He'd steal beer from his dad and bring it, and we'd get drunk. One day he had a few sips too many and...God, I dunno what really happened." he ran a hand thru his shaggy hair and admitted, "You'd have to really be like me to get what I mean. It wasn't like I planned it or anything, but more like it just sorta happened...I guess I'd always sorta liked him like that, but I'd never thought of doing that kinda thing to him..."

This only confused to Toki more. He relaxed in Gunther's arms and pressed, "So what happens?"

"We kissed."

"You-"

"Just like this." he made Toki look up at him, then pressed his lips to the Norwegian's for an instant. He didn't pry, didn't demand more than was necessary, only gave him a short, tender kiss then broke away. Toki was dumbstruck.

He shook himself and asked in a shy, worried whisper, "Cans we do that?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't we?"

"Because..." his voice trailed off with the sudden recognition that he'd actually liked being kissed by another boy. All at once he felt himself overcome with a kind of heated desire that he'd never felt before, and he was hugging Gunther very tightly, unsure of how to continue. He'd never been kissed before in his life.

"What? You act like nobody's ever...wait, you're not really like Pickles says, right?" Bekker held Toki close and whispered in his ear, "You've been with someone before, right?"

He didn't answer. Instead he hid his face and asked, "What happens next?"

"Whadda mean?"

"With you and Pickle—what did you dos next?"

"Oh yeah, that." Gunther glanced up and down the halls to make sure that nobody was about to walk past them. They building was surprisingly deserted—nobody really ever chose to spend their visiting time in their rooms. After making sure they were totally alone, he slipped his hands up Toki's shirt, felt his muscled torso; the Norwegian's body became rigid under his fingers. "We made out."

"Pickle kissed you? But you ams-"

"I know. We did some other stuff too, but I can't tell you that."

Toki looked up at him. "Whys not?"

Gunther grinned and said smartly, "Too much for your little virgin-ears. C'mon, get up." he rose to his feet and then helped the Norwegian do the same. Once they were both standing, Gunther pushed Toki against the wall, kissed him again, then took his hand. "Where's the nearest flight of stairs?"

"Just a littles farther down the hall...why?"

" 'Cause I can't tell you, but I can show you."

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Wonderful, naked lies. For Pickles that's always what came after sex. When Jen insisted that he hold her and promise her that they'd always be together, that he loved her, that he never had anyone else on his mind, he lied then pushed her away and got out of bed. He pulled on his pants and instructed, "Hey, bitch, put an some fuckin' clothes."

Jen raised her head and asked moodily, "Why? I can stay all night."

"No, 'cause I don't wanna leave Toki alone with Gunter too lang."

She rolled her eyes. "So we're really not gonna do anything else?"

Pickles asked in frustration, "What else did you think we were gonna do? I already came, so what else do you think I can do?"

"One-trick pony." she mumbled sarcastically.

"Yeah, one who chooses to fuck you, Gad knows why." he went out of the room and slammed the door. He knew he probably looked like hell, but he didn't care. He smelled like sex, sweat, and Jen's perfume, but he could care less about this, too. As he made his way down the hall all he could find the energy to care about was Toki. He wondered where he was, if he was okay, if Gunther had managed to get to him. Probably not. Toki was smart, he wasn't stupid. He was-

"What the fuck?" Pickles cried when he rounded the corner and saw that there, under the stairs, Gunther was kissing Toki, running his hands up the Norwegian's shirt, and laughing. Without giving a second thought to whether or not he'd get in trouble, he went up to Gunther and pulled him by his hair away from Toki. "You prick! I really can't leave you alone, can I?"

"You took forever with Jen." he said jokingly.

So that was it, this was a game to him? Pickles gritted his teeth and hissed, "You think this is funny?"

Gunther peered over to Toki and shrugged. "Yeah, pretty funny to me."

"I'll kill you!" he really meant it, and just as he went to swing, something held him back. Toki had gotten up, wrapped his arms around Pickles' waist, and was hugging him, crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorrys, I'm sorry!"

"What?" he asked, astonished. "Are you cryin'? Get aff of me!" but he didn't make a move to pry Toki away from him; instead he put his arms around the Norwegian and held him close. "S'okay," he said. "I don't know what's wrong, but s'okay..."

"Oh, so that's it." Gunther spoke up, coolly putting his hands in his pockets. Pickles turned to him, but didn't let Toki go.

"What's it? What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

Gunther's eyes glowed with a kind of knowing threat as he repeated quietly, "That's it."

"Whats it?"

"You and him."

"Me and him what?" of course he knew what Gunther was getting at, and he had to use every bit of resistance in him to not beat the hell out of the other boy right then.

Bekker said nothing, and this finally prompted Pickles to get Toki off of him. He punched Gunther in the mouth as hard a she could. "I fuckin' hate you! I can't believe I wanted to see you!" he hit the other teenager again and again, until he stopped moving. Toki stared at this display with wide, teary eyes.

"P-Pickle, ams this my fault?"

"No." he said, wiping his former best friend's blood off of his hands. "No it's nat."

" 'Cause I didn't means it, and I didn't believe anything he tolds me about how you-" he cut himself off and his face paled. "Nevers mind." Pickles was panting as he stood up. He was dizzy, tired, and totally spent. Still, he was perfectly happy with what he'd done.

"What'd he tell you about me?"

"Nothings."

"Spit it out. S'nat like I can beat him up no more, anyways."

"He saids-"

From down the hall there came the sound of footsteps. Pickles fell back against the wall and cursed.

"Shit! I don't need this, I don't need this, I don't-"

Jen was there, and so was an entire audience of onlookers. The redhead narrowed his eyes at her and demanded, "Jen, what the fuck did you do 'dis for? You told?"

"Well you weren't back and I was tired of waiting." she said curtly, putting her hands on her hips. "Besides, I was worried about Toki. I was afraid that were gonna beat the shit out of him, too."

"Why would I do 'dat?"

"Why do you do anything you do, Pickles?" she asked inquired coolly, moving aside so a group of teachers could assess the situation. "Just to feel better about yourself."