Author's notes: I'd like to add to my disclaimer that the song Hawkeye sings sadly isn't mine. Those of you who watch Gilligan's Island obsessively or old Marilyn Monroe (sp?) movies already know that. But I just thought I'd better let the rest of you guys know: It's old. I didn't write it. Blahblahblah…
"I wanna be loved by you - alooooooo-o-own!" Hawkeye tried to walk down to the audience, but the high heel of her shoe caught on her dress and she tripped half way down.
The crowd laughed loudly and Riza stood, blushing as red as her dress.
"I couldn't aspire – "She tried to keep going, but the audience was laughing so loudly they drowned out her unsteady voice. She stood limply for a second, then hitched up her skirt and rushed back up the stage, disappearing behind the velvet Curtin.
"Poor thing." The woman behind the bar sighed, wiping the sprayed drink unconcernedly from her face. "That's the second time this week. Last time she forgot the words to Melancholy baby."
"Has she worked here long?" Mustang asked, trying to sound conversational.
"No. She just started last month. She said she worked in a night club before. But I think she's lying." The woman began wiping the counter with a rag. "She obviously can't sing."
"I thought she sounded good." Mustang said blankly, still looking at the empty stage.
"You must be heard-a-hearing." The woman grumbled. "She only got the job cuz she can fit in Stacy's costumes – Stacy used to work her – but then she went and got herself pregnant." She carried on, completely unaware that it was an awkward and personal topic.
The man in the tuxedo came back on stage and began trying to quite down the audience, which was shouting and jeering.
"Uh ha – and that was the charming; Miss Sandra Rouge!" Riza's stage name was met with louder shouting. "Ladies and gentlemen – please – give Miss Rouge another chance!" The man begged pathetically
"We want somebody who can sing!" A man from the audience yelled. The tuxedo man sighed. "Then our next act – the lovely – Miss Francine." A red-headed girl came out and began dancing to a Christmas song. Mustang turned back to his drink. Trying to let it sink in. Hawkeye – a singer?
A side door opened and Riza came rushing out, wrapped in a trench coat and dragging her feather boa behind her. Mustang stood quickly, his knee colliding with the bar. Cursing several times, he made his way across the crowded room to meet her. "Hawkeye!" He yelled over the music, which was climbing steadily in volume.
Riza looked up, confused. Seeing Mustang she looked down and quickened her pace to the to the door, let it slam closed behind her in his face. Rubbing his nose gingerly, Roy opened the door again and rushed into the cold.
"Riza! Wait!" He tripped on the stairs to the pub and fell over, landing face down in the snow. Hawkeye tuned back and looked down at him.
"How do you know my name?" She demeaned accusingly.
Mustang picked himself up and wiped the snow from his face with his coat sleeve.
"Lucky guess?" He suggested meekly.
Riza narrowed her eyes. "Have you been following me? Omigod – you're a stalker aren't you?!" Shacking, she pulled out a small spray can from her coat pocket. "I've dealt with your kind before!" She shouted, trying to sound convincing. She held the can at arm's length. "I should warn you that this is pepper spray – now stay back or I'll use it!"
"Hawkeye – "
"Ahhhh!" Riza screamed, she stumbled back and squirted the pepper spray around wildly. Mustang caught most of it in his face and was blinded by a burning sensation in his eyes.
"Uoh! Hawkeye! What was that for?!" He rubbed his eyes franticly, trying to get the sting out.
Riza turned and began running away, but escaping in high heels in a foot of snow was not an easy thing to do, and she fell to the ground.
"Get back!" She yelled, even though Mustang hadn't moved. "Go away or I'll call the cops!"
"Don't – I didn't – you don't understand" He stuttered.
"Police! Police!" Riza picked herself up and pointed a long glossy red finger nail at Mustang. "He tried to abduct me! Arrest him!"
A stout cop toddled over and followed her gaze to where Mustang stood.
"Ah he did, did he miss?" He asked, sounding like he had a head full of hot air. "I'll handle this!" He hurried over to Mustang as quickly as his short legs would allow and clapped a set of hand-cuffs over his wrists.
"What's going on? I didn't even get within five feet of her." Mustang tried to explain.
The cop shook his head. "Sorry sir, but in cases like these we have to go by the lady's word – and she says you tried to kidnap her."
Mustang groaned, then stopped and tried to keep a grin from spreading across his face – he was beginning to get an idea…
"Yes – I understand. I acted out of line I supposed." He sighed. "It's just that I thought Miss Hawkeye was expecting me. "I'm a talent scout you see – I wrote her explaining how I'd be coming to see her see sometime near Christmas – But I guess my letter was lost in the mail." He looked down dejectedly. "It won't take long to clear things up though – one call to my employer should straighten everything up…it's just too bad the lady will have to miss out on her addition."
The cop frowned. "That's a shame." He said in a voice that suggested he couldn't care less. "Now let's get a move on."
"Certainly officer." Mustang agreed submissively. "But first; tell me - Have you ever been in theater? I'm sure I've seen you on stage before."
"What? Me? Oh no." The cop laughed. "Of coarse – I was head of my drama team back in collage, but that was a long time ago…"
"Well why did you ever give it up?!" Mustang asked dramatically. "You have all the makings of a Shakespearian star! Your voice is perfect for the part of Hamlet – so deep and serious!"
"Gee…" The man scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Do you really think so?"
"Sure! Tell you what – you meet me back here in three days at noon – and we'll discuss your auditioning for something." Mustang clapped him on the back.
"Oh! I have to go home and practice then!" The cop grinned. "Wait til' I tell my wife about this! And she says I'm a failure! Ha!" He turned and began hurrying down the street, reciting sonnets as he went.
Mustang turned back to Riza, chuckling to himself.
"You aren't really a talent scout are you?" She said blankly. It was more a statement then a question
"What makes you say that?"
"You're wearing a uniform, and even if that was normal – you can't honestly tell me you thought that man was talented."
"Yeah – he was a ham, but luckily he was full enough of himself that he believed me."
The two stood in silence for a second. Mustang shifted his weight from one foot to the other and tugged at his shirt collar.
"I should warn you; my husband is coming to pick me up, and if he finds you here he won't be very hap-" Riza was cut off by Mustang.
"Your husband? You're married?" Roy could only stare open mouthed. He'd never thought Hawkeye would be married. For some reason he couldn't see her in a wedding dress – or a dress of any kind for that matter.
Riza held up her left hand and waved her delicate fingers, sparkling on her ring finger was a huge diamond set in gold. "I'm Riza DeMancii now." She said proudly.
Okay…Looking back the whole cop scene was weird…I don't know how that happened….There's some Royai coming up next chapter! Promise!