The Return of Maeve

Part 2

**This story will give hints to another story, my King Arthur one farther along. In fact, the Epilogue of the KA fanfic, The Unification of Avalon and Briton, also mentions Maeve and Dermott.**

Sinbad's sharp sea blue eyes met his grayish blue ones and said in a nonchalant way with a shrug to match, "Nothing much big brother, just things."

Doubar frowned.

This was not starting out the way he had wanted it too. In the past, he had let Sinbad have his time to think, but when he asked Sinbad usually revealed his problems. Why did his brother think he had to hide his thoughts from him now? Did Sinbad think he had to portray the mighty captain with him? Or did he think that he wouldn't understand the pain he was going through?

Sure, Sinbad was the famous and mighty sea captain; who saved the day with the help of this legendary crew, but to him, he was still his little brother; and sometimes, still, a lost lad who proclaimed to the world his future as the 'Master of the Seven Seas'. His brother had nothing to prove to him, so why did it seem like he had too? Sinbad knew he could tell him anything, and if not him then Rongar or Firouz would provide the ear he needed.

Bryn, as well, even if she didn't understand why Sinbad needed to talk to her about such things; not that she couldn't understand, but she couldn't remember any life experiences on which to draw from for such conversations to have any real equality or credibility for Sinbad to take heart in.

His little brother wasn't alone in this world; even if it felt like it with Maeve not here to give him what-for.

Sinbad had cared greatly for the lass, and she returned it. They all could see it; even strangers could see the energy or magic between them but something always held the two back.

He might not know of a love like that, but he wasn't a stranger to loosing loved ones to the sea, family, lovers, and all in between not withstanding. He had seen many falls beneath the waves; Maeve being the most recent and hopefully the last one.

He leaned against the rail, crossed his arms across his chest, and asked with a raised brow, "Just things, little brother?"

Sinbad met his gaze squarely and echoed, "Just things."

Doubar sighed and said as he got into his brother's face, "Now see here little brother, I've given you your time to mourn and think, now I'm not about to let you wallow…"

Sinbad's ire, which had been on hold in respect to the guilt that plagued his soul, roared back into being and shoved the guilt aside like it was an awkward fighter in a battle as he asked with wide eyes full of surprise and negative exasperation, "…you've let me wallow?? Doubar, you don't know what you're saying!"

Doubar narrowed his eyes as he pursed his lips and asked in a mocking tone that got slightly louder as he reached the end due to his anger over this topic, "Oh I don't, do I? Well, excuse me for thinking your heart was torn open again by the trick that devil played on you! Excuse me for trying to help my little brother!"

Sinbad's eyes slammed shut.

The guilt was back with a vengeance.

This was another reason why he remained isolated from the others when it concerned his emotions. They all meant well, honestly, but this was his fight, his battle to overcome. If he couldn't beat this back by himself, how could he continue to be one of the 'side of the light's' champions in the war against evils like Scratch and even Rumina if she ever showed her face again? He couldn't accept their help as it would mean he had a weakness within him somewhere and that wasn't allowed.

Relying on others was all well and good, but if you couldn't get yourself out of a problem, you probably had no reason being there in the first place.

Sharing such weaknesses, sharing such pains of the heart, weren't going to heal them. They weren't going to make them magically disappear and he wished Doubar hadn't brought this up to being with.

He was conveniently forgetting how he had said these exact same things to Maeve in an effort to get her to open up when she was with them a year ago.

Perhaps, he had taken her aloofness to heart, but it was a wall between him and the world he had desperately needed with her disappearance.

With Maeve he could yell and scream and even fight with her, and know that at the end they'd be okay. It was how they interacted with one another. They might fight and disagree on nearly everything, but they always supported one another.

If he was being honest with himself, he could admit to being able to do the same with Doubar. His brother had always allowed him to talk things through with him if he had any problems; but, there came a time in a man's life where he had to take responsibility for his own choices and his own actions. If those actions gave way to a good consequence or ended in a bad one, it was still his fate in the end.

Doubar had given up so much of his life to be with him and watch over him. He had always felt guilty for this because his brother had given up finding love and having a family. His brother was very much a family man. He cared for him as a brother, uncle, and father all rolled into one. He was there to give him advice and even thump him on the occasions he had acted in the wrong. He held him as he cried as a baby and even sang him to sleep when he had nightmares of the shipwreck that stole their parents from them.

Never once denying him even as he, too, mourned and cried for their deaths.

His brother was everything to him, and he hadn't repaid his brother in the slightest to even begin to make up for all that he had dragged the elder of the two through.

This was probably why he didn't want to speak to his brother. The guilt from the last adventure was simply too much. His heart and soul couldn't take anymore of the hard decisions that were needed to continue their trip.

The guilt of pulling them into danger almost every single time they entered a port…

The guilt of taking Doubar away from his now non-existing family in Baghdad…

The guilt of taking Firouz away from Velda and a successful career as a Healer…

The guilt of taking Rongar from his sister and rightful place as Prince of his land…

The guilt of not being able to help Bryn regain her lost memories…

The guilt of losing DimDim and Maeve…

And…

Even the guilt of not going to see or visit Caipra in the past year.

He could always lie and tell the elder sorceress that they had been traveling farther and farther away from home ports in order to find any possible clues to DimDim's and Maeve's whereabouts, but he knew she wouldn't believe him.

Caipra's magic dealt in the knowing.

She knew things about people and places and that was simply it. She'd know the minute he arrived, why he had been absent from Basra for so long, and even more guilt hit him for it.

He blinked and the guilt flowed to a stop from his flooding heart as Doubar thumped him quite harshly on the head.

Instinctively, he dropped a hand from the tiller to rub the offended flesh and exclaimed, "Ahowe!!! What in Allah's name was that for??"

Doubar nearly cried at the blackness that swamped his little brother's eyes his soul.

Whoever said, 'The eyes are the windows to the soul', definitely knew what they were saying.

His little brother's soul was drowning in all the guilt that he had continuously heaped inside in order to not deal with them.

He had a feeling he knew what one part of the guilt was. He probably could guess about all of it, but one thing at a time.

First, he'd deal with his brother's guilt that dealt with him. He'd wing it after that.

Doubar lowered his hand and said, "Little brother, I can see that guilt coming a mile away from here, I think it's time someone absolved you of it, once and for all."

Sinbad shook his head in denial and said in an oath-like tone, "I don't feel any guilt Doubar. Why would you think that?"

Doubar thumped him, more lightly than before, and said in a light tone "Give me more credit than that Sinbad. Am I your brother, or not?"

He didn't allow Sinbad to answer as he added with a shrug, "And you're not going anywhere until we get this over with."

Sinbad's jaw dropped at that.

And what was worse?

Sinbad knew Doubar meant it as Doubar was the next one to take the tiller.

Which was right now!

He sighed and said, "Okay big brother, let's talk."

Doubar's eyebrow rose again as he said bluntly and without any hedging, "Sinbad, we've talked about this many times over the years, and still you have yet to believe me; you aren't to blame for me not have a wife and children."

Sinbad flinched.

Doubar pointed a finger at him and smiled lightly as he said encouragingly, "See? I told you, you don't believe me when I tell you that I don't feel like I'm missing anything by being with you out here on the open seas. I love being a sailor and traveling around the world. Our adventures are even better, most of the time."

Here the two chuckled. Some of those adventures had been really heart breaking; Doubar being transformed into a beast was one of the harder ones of late.

Before Sinbad could butt in, Doubar continued, "I don't feel like I'm missing out on family Sinbad because I've got my family right here!"

He placed his hand on his heart and then playfully messed up Sinbad's chin length golden blondish brown hair and added, "You, Firouz, Rongar, Bryn, Dermott, DimDim and Maeve and Caipra even! All of them are my family of the heart Sinbad; not one I would have to make through law and flesh."

He shrugged and allowed, "Sure, having a big lavish home in Baghdad, a doting wife and three rambunctious children would be nice, but it isn't something I loose sleep over."

He pointed at Sinbad again and teased, "One was enough to swear me off children for life!"

Sinbad laughed out right at that.

It was true, he had been a rather….er…active child, and as his caretaker when DimDim was otherwise occupied with his duties it was left to his older brother to care for him.

A duty Doubar still undertook with a large smile.

His brother loved him.

His brother did love him.

His brother will always love him.

So why was he constantly guilt-tripping himself when it concerned his brother's legacy?

Doubar seemed to answer him like they were telepathically connected, "You, Sinbad, you, are the child I always wanted when I grew to understand what fatherhood meant. I never wanted for another. I had you, so please…please…by the grace of Allah, let the guilt go. I don't blame you, so neither should you."

Sinbad choked back a sob as he released the tiller to a side man who just happened to be coasting down a nearby rigging, and enveloped his brother in a great big hug; one like he used to give to his brother every night before he went to bed with as a child.

**********

And somewhere deep inside, a scar was born out of the wound that lied deep within his heart. But there were still more left to close.

**********

Dermott, who had been their only true witness, fluttered his wings in approval. He had been worried about the two brothers for a long time now. He knew what Sinbad was going through, one brother to another, and felt inferior and terrible for not being able to offer anything more than an ear to his long time friend.

While he wasn't the younger brother of his siblings, in fact, he was the eldest; Dermott knew what it was like to feel the guilt of having another sibling cast off their previous life goals in order to make your life better.

His lot in life had been cast a long time ago in Albion; where vengeful Rumina had taken her selfish retribution out on his country and its people.

Rumina's mother, Brietta of Hibernia, had been a very powerful and highly placed Priestess of Avalon a long time ago before King Arthur ruled. She had been cast out of the order for trying to take control and kill the three High Priestesses' Morgawse, Isolde, and Elaine.

The three had thought that the banishment was the end of it, but Brietta' rage hadn't settled into peace. She had met and married Turok and birthed Rumina.

Rumina had wanted revenge for her mother being cast out of the order, and attacked the White Temple with all the she had. Unfortunately, he, in his hawk form, and his younger sister, Maevelynn had gotten in her way. Maeve was a powerful Journeyman Priestess and had matched Rumina spell for spell, for a while.

Then Rumina switched from spiritual magics to physical ones.

Maeve, then, had no training in such magics.

To hurt Maeve in ways even she hadn't imagined; Rumina cast a spell in Arabic that transformed him permanently into a hawk. She had vanished with laughs and mirth filling her heart.

Hour after hour, the High Priestesses of Avalon had tried and worked to undo Rumina's spell. Until finally, Morgawse had deduced that Rumina had used a balanced mix of spiritual and physical magics. She realized that only a balance of such magics could break the curse; or death to the one who cast it.

So, because she had felt responsible, his little sister had cast off her life and goals to travel the world in hopes of finding a sorcerer to break Rumina's curse.

They didn't find anyone.

But, when they found DimDim, or rather, he found them; he and Maeve had discovered that she had the ability to use both magics as fluently as Rumina did.

So the training began, and she hadn't turned back to Albion since.

So like Sinbad, he knew of the guilt that lay in his heart, and he was overwhelmed with glee that Sinbad had finally absolved it from his heart with Doubar's help.

It gave him hope that he, too, could do so when they found Maeve.