Chapter Three: Sweet Surrender

He'd spent three hours cleaning up his apartment, getting the coffee first. It looked much better then before, if he did say so himself. He'd cleaned the living room last night in preparation, but she got in before he could finish the rest. Why did he care? Why did he care if Julie saw his apartment all messed up? She'd seen him in action the ten months they lived together. Ten years ago, or so. He was working at Buddy Garrity's car dealership... he didn't have the dream. He wanted the dream, he was here wasn't he? But going near the stadium hurt.

She knocked this time, and when he commented she snapped, "I knocked the last time, it's not my fault you weren't home." He laughed, and brought the bottle of beer to his mouth. She shook her head and said, "It's not even three."

"I'll live."

"Maybe. People die from alcohol poisoning, you know."

"I'll put it down if you want." She gave him a look and he sighed and relinquished the bottle, placing it on the table in front of him. Silence came over them again. "Did you go see your daddy?"

"No. He hates me."

"That's not true. Why would he hate you?"

"You know why."

"Well, I just asked, so obviously I don't."

"Because I married you, but you knew that."

"No, I didn't know that..."

"You just wanted me to say it out loud."

"Julie. Your dad doesn't hate you."

She looked up at him, and once again their eyes locked. Sometimes she had this feeling where she was calm and secure, and it tended to happen when she was with him. Coincidence. "Why did you want to see me?"

"I like spending time with you."

"Is that so?"

"I married you, didn't I?"

"Why did you really want to see me?"

"I missed you. And I thought we should talk now that we have the chance."

She nodded, "Do you want to make it official?"

He was confused, what was she talking about. Obviously she read it because she said, "Our marriage..."

"A divorce?" the words sounded cold when they escaped from his mouth. A divorce would be like giving up.

"Well, I mean... it's kind of really, really, weirdly ridiculous we've been separated for so long and never, you know, grabbed the bull by it's horns."

"I got a cat."

Now she was confused, "What?"

"A year ago, she was a kitten..."

She decided to go along with it, maybe it was an analogy, "Uh huh..."

"I named it Kitty."

"How original."

"Thanks."

"So this was just you changing the subject?"

"Basically."

She sighed, "Don't you want to get it over with, I mean, you could get married again... to Lyla..."

"I'm not marrying Lyla," he paused, "Is there anybody you might be marrying?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not engaged." Damn, she could be seeing somebody. He hated himself for envying the guy after so long... and there wasn't even a confirmation of such a guy. More silence, all these awkward silences. Except they weren't that awkward, and he almost lived for them. He could almost imagine the good old days in them. So much so he felt he had to cut off the awkward silence by kissing her.

His lips dived for hers. His lips were cool against hers, but she couldn't succumb to any of this. Not after everything... she pulled away and tears came to her eyes.

"I'm sorry I messed everything up..." he said.

She shook her head, and he went on: "I shouldn't of went off with Adele..."

"You remember her name?"

He ignored her question, "I'm sorry I wrecked our marriage." his hands were still on her. She escaped from his clutches.

"That wasn't the only thing..." she said, looking down now.

"Can we try again?"

"Tim, I'm not the same person anymore. And you're not all solemn and not-talky anymore... you seemed to have watched more TV or something and are just a lot less... well, I'm able to have a conversation with you. And there's a lot more sarcasm now."

"I'm sarcastic?"

"Yeah..." she sniffled a bit. She didn't want to admit it, but him being sarcastic was kind of a turn on.

"I still love you."

She melted a little when he said that. Because she loved him too, always had, no matter how hard she wanted to stop it he wasn't just a fling. He was her husband. "Sometimes you gotta know when to call it quits, Tim, and I think that we knew the first time. And, I don't know, I don't think the premise of a relationship that once was is enough to build another relationship on... essentially ours which wasn't strong enough to hold up the first time," ok, she was ranting now. She headed towards the door.

"Wait!" He tore after her, he grabbed her shoulder. She turned around, and allowed herself to be absorbed by him. This time it was her kiss that landed on his lips, and he kissed back.