A/N: For more on banana hammocks, check out "A Random Love Story" by Brandy Mallory.
Please, please, please don't kill me.
OoOoOoOo
Sheena Fujibayashi snuck into the temple in a sneaking sort of way, darting from shadow to shadow with all the elegance and seductiveness of a true shinobi. The ninja chuckled to herself, softly talking under her breath to another presence that none could see save her.
"This plan is so cunning," she said, downing a few guards and tossing a smoke grenade here and there for good measure, "That if you put a tail on it you could call it a weasel!"
"Only you could have thought of it, mistress!" agreed a small voice inside her pocket. An amorphous, watery blob slithered out of her clothes to rest on her shoulder. There was a small flash of blue light and the blob turned into Celsius- a tiny, adorable Celsius with a high-pitched voice. For some reason, her eyes were disproportionately large, taking up almost two thirds of her face, but this didn't seem to affect her hand-eye coordination or depth perception at all.
"Of course I did," Sheena said smugly, using her finely toned ninja skills to disable various traps and nuisances that would have bothered anyone less awesome than she. Finally, though the way was long and boring, she arrived at the altar that stored her heart's desire-
The Eternal Sword!
Her eyes shone with triumph and yearning, her entire body quivering as she took a few faltering steps towards the artifact that would bring prestige to Mizuho for generations to come. With sweaty palms and a fluttering heart, she reached for the hilt of the sword….
Wha-pshh!
Sheena darted back, whipping out her cards as she narrowly avoided having her china-doll face slashed wide open by the busy end of a long black whip. Laughing maniacally, a slim, curvaceous figure hidden by shadows snatched the Eternal Sword from its resting place and put it inside the multi-dimensional pockets she had inside her leather jacket. Tilting her dusty, travel-worn fedora over her silver hair in a mock-filled greeting, she grinned at the would-be thief.
Sheena clenched her hand into a fist, shaking it at the figure. "I should have known it was you…"
The figure hopped into the light, shifting into a fighting position as she readied her whip. Chibi-Celsius shrieked in fright, spontaneously shifting into her fully-grown form so that she could cling to Sheena's arm suggestively.
"I should have known it was…. Indiana Sage!!!" Sheena hissed, putting one protective arm around Celsius's waist.
"Come now, dear," Indy said, flicking her whip experimentally to the side and finding a malicious pleasure in the way the loud crack! made Celsius wince, "You've known me for so long, there's no need to call me by my full name."
"Damn you Sage, you've crossed us for the last time!" Sheena said, moving her fingers in a complex jutsu while somewhere in the world, a nine-tailed fox sneezed violently. Five Sheenas, all equally pissed-off, charged at Indiana Sage. The half-elf archaeologist scoffed in their faces, tossing her whip aside and pulling out two spinning revolvers. Leaping into the air, she somersaulted over their surprised heads and landed in a crouch, shooting over her shoulders at each and every one of the Sheenas. Every bullet found a home in their foreheads, causing them to shriek once in pain before dissipating in a puff of blue smoke.
"But wait!" Indy said, her pale face paling further. "If all five Sheenas were fake, then where's the real-"
Raine cried out in surprise as she was tackled to the floor, landing in a convenient mud puddle. Her revolvers wrested from her grip as easily as Kloitz sneaks up on unsuspecting baby carriages to place uranium pellets in the blanket folds, and she could hear Sheena cackling in triumph. Struggling wildly against the ninja's iron grip, she cursed as she felt nimble fingers slip into her leather jacket and remove the Eternal Sword from the multi-dimensional pocket. Needless to say this was all very messy business due to the mud puddle, and noisy with the sounds of a fierce wrestling match that I can't be bothered to describe because there are more pressing issues at hand- like the arrival of a hapless security guard that Sheena hadn't knocked unconscious in her quest for the Sword.
Zelos the security guard watched in amusement for a few moments, wondering whether or not it was worth it to attempt to stop the fight. Deciding he wasn't paid enough to do that, he sat back and enjoyed the show while making eyes at Celsius. And why wasn't the Summon Spirit helping her master? Well that was probably because she was too busy shoving her fist into her mouth to keep from falling into a fit of insane giggles. Kinda like how you're doing right now.
"Just give it up, Sage!" Sheena said, holding the half-elf in a classic wrestling move- the stranglehold.
"No, I can't!" Indy said, panic-stricken. "I'm saving it for marriage!"
Sheena blinked, relaxing her grip on the other woman in confusion. "Huh?"
"…Um… I mean… Kyah!" Indy twisted around and head-butted the ninja, snatching the sword back and trying to make a run for it.
"Cel!" Sheena cried desperately to the Summon Spirit, who was still standing idly by. "Do something, for Christ's sake!"
"Jeez, whatta slave driver," Celsius muttered, waving her hand in Indy's general direction. A clear sheet of ice appeared under her feet and she went crashing to the floor in all her archeological glory, her grip on the Eternal Sword slipping. The artifact went skidding across the ice only to come to a rest…
…right at Zelos's feet.
"I got it!" Sheena and Indy called at the same time, diving for the priceless item only to crash headfirst into Zelos and land in a groaning heap on the floor, each with one hand on the hilt of the sword. Quickly coming to their senses, the two women leapt to their feet and shoved the security guard to the side, clenching at the sword as they squared off, forehead-to-forehead and glaring at each other straight in the eyes.
Indy put her free hand just above Sheena's on the sword hilt, growling deep in her throat. In response, Sheena used her free hand to grip at the sword hilt just above Indy's. Indy pulled her lower hand free and, careful not to cut herself on the blade, put that hand above Sheena's. This went on for a while until there was no more space left on the blade and they were left actually holding each other's hands instead of any part of the sword.
"Damn it, this is going no where!" Sheena said, tugging the sword closer to her.
"Well what do you want me to do?" Indy asked, yanking the sword in her direction.
"To let go of the damn sword, RAINE Sage!" Sheena retorted.
"Maybe if you asked politely and stopping swearing all the time!" Indy- or Raine, or whatever you want to call her, said. "And you know I hate being called by my middle name!"
"And why would I ever ask a half-elf bitch for anything?"
Raine's (or Indy's) mouth dropped open. "Half…. Ha! That's rich, coming from a human whore!"
"Ruin Freak!" Sheena twisted around, trying to drag the sword away.
Indy (or Raine) dug her heels into the ground, saying between gritted teeth: "Klepto!"
Zelos smiled, standing up and pointing at them both. "PMSing!" he said brightly.
"No one asked you!" they shouted, turning towards him. Suddenly, the tip of the Eternal Sword began to glow intense white light, starting to shudder and make funny popping noises. Before anyone could react, the white light exploded outwards right into Zelos's solar plexus, sending him flying across the room to smack right into the wall and slowly slide down to collapse face-first onto the floor.
Celsius's clapped her hands to her mouth, staring at the still form of the security guard with wide eyes. "Oh, my God! You killed him!"
Zelos lifted one hand, waving it in the air. "Actually, I think I'm-"
Celsius waved one hand in his direction with the other still clamped firmly over her mouth. An icicle the size of Regal fell from the sky and landed squarely in the middle of Zelos's back with such force that the blood that spurted forth managed to drench everyone in the room. Zelos's hand fell limp.
OoOoOoOo
"In celebration of this half-way reunion, I'd like to propose a toast!" Lloyd shouted to the various heroes gathered in Dirk's house, holding up a glass of hooch in one hand. There was a general agreement in the room and much banging of fists on the table, except from Colette who had Presea sitting in her lap so that she could better braid the younger girl's hair, and Yuan, who had Genis sitting on his lap so that he could better nibble at his ears and neck.
"I would just like to say," Lloyd continued, "That you guys are all awesome to have come here on such short notice, and I suggest we make this toast to FRIENDSHIP!"
"HEAR HEAR!" the crowd agreed, and lo, there was much guzzlement of fermented materials and all was good.
Except for Colette.
When all was said and done, she nervously sat up and put Presea aside, clearing her throat to get the room's attention. The room was very attentive, but the guests were not so eventually she was forced to scream at the top of her lungs:
"I'M PREGNANT!"
The hubbub in the room died at once and a hushed silence fell across the room.
Colette turned pale. "Uhm, can everyone except Lloyd please forget I said that?"
"Ye mean to say me boy's got his wife all a belly-full?" Dirk said through a face awash with proud tears.
Everyone turned to Lloyd with one eyebrow raised, so he sighed and translated. "He means to ask if I'm going to be a Daddy," he said.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh," was the general consensus. Yuan added, "So Lloyd and Colette are going to have a baby? Great!"
"Uh…" Colette mumbled, beginning to feel tears of shame prick at her eyes. "It might not be Lloyd's."
"Huh?" Kratos blinked. "But if it isn't Lloyd, then whose baby is it?"
"I don't know!" Colette said tearfully, rubbing at her face with her sleeve. "I'm such a slut it could be anyone."
Genis and Presea turned the color of old mushrooms and quickly excused themselves from the table, muttering something about forgetting a pie in the oven. When they were outside and out of hearing range, they turned to each other and spoke in hushed, frightened whispers:
"Did you hear that?" Genis whispered, his Adam's apple bobbling nervously. "It could be anyone."
"You don't think you're the one, do you?" Presea asked him, pulling at her pink ponytails in agitation.
"No way," he said, shaking his head. After a moment of consideration, his eyebrows shot up and he drew closer to her. "You don't think you…?"
Presea gasped. "What? Of course not!" she said, turning away in a huff. "I mean… I don't think it's me…" she relented.
"What the hell, Presea?!" he shouted, grabbing the small girl and shaking her. "Didn't you think to use protection?"
"I was in the heat of the moment, dammit!" She slapped his hands away and he squealed in pain, shrinking back and nursing the injured appendages. Don't get angry with me because I can get a girl pregnant and you can't!"
He stepped back, his grey-blue eyes widening with hurt. "That was low," he said, sniffling. Feeling her heart twinge with guilt, Presea stepped forward and hugged him tightly, patting his back to soothe his bruised ego.
"I'm sorry baby," she said. "You know I didn't mean it. Let me hold you like your boyfriend does!"
There was a sharp gasp from the doorway. Presea and Genis broke apart like startled rabbits, sheepishly turning to see who had interrupted them. Yuan stood there, his eyes welling up with unshed tears as he saw his boytoy in the arms of another lover. He shook his head in disbelief, turning away with one hand to his heart.
"Yuan!" Genis said, walking towards him with his arms open wide. "Yuan, it isn't what it looks like!"
"I thought we were exclusive!" Yuan snapped through his tears, slapping Genis's hands away. "You… I thought we had something special! I thought it was more than just the bloodletting!" the vampire sobbed openly, his long fangs glinting in the moonlight.
Genis, losing his temper, lashed out at his lover. "Well it isn't as if you don't run around either!" he accused. Unbeknownst to them, a crowd had gathered in the doorway with popcorn in hand to watch the drama unfold. "I see how you act when that security guard comes around!"
Yuan stiffened. "Zelos guards my coffin," he said, glaring at the taller man.
"Suuuure. I know what he guards," Genis sneered. "And since when were you on a first name basis with him?" He slapped Yuan tartly across the face.
"Oh, is that the way you wanna play?" Yuan snarled, tackling him to the ground and plunging his teeth deep into the half-elf's neck. Genis, caught between the urge to shriek with pain and moan with pleasure, decided that whimpering pathetically was a good middle ground.
"Oh… Oh… uhn…" Genis writhed under Yuan, reaching out at Presea with one hand. "D- ah, ah, ah! Don't just suh… suhmmn…. UH… st-stand there! Help me! OOOHHHH YUAN!" he closed his eyes, arching back and grabbing a big fistful of Yuan's silver hair. "OOHHHH MYSTERY OF LIFE, I'VE FOUND YOU AT LAST...!"
"I dunno, you seem to be having a good time," Presea said thoughtfully. "And is it just me, or is this more sexually explicit than D-wings's fanfictions generally get?"
Yuan loosened his jaw's grip on Genis for a moment, his teeth breaking free from the skin with a loud pop. "Huh?" he said, blood trickling down his chin.
"Is it wrong for me to be jealous and repulsed at the same time?" Kratos whispered, crouching in the doorway and watching with eyes five times their normal size.
"Why does my dad always talk to himself?" Lloyd asked Dirk.
"Anyway!" Presea said, dragging everyone back inside to give Genis and Yuan some privacy under the stars, "We need to get to the bottom of this mystery." Popping a bubble pipe into her mouth, she struck Regal's 'cool' pose with one hand under her chin. "I think it's about time for Detective Combatir to get to work!"
"I don't think that's necessary," Colette said, smiling and waving at something out the window. Everyone crowded around her to see what she was looking at while Kratos stayed in the open doorway, hiding behind the frame so that only his wide eyes were showing over the side, still staring at Yuan and Genis. Outside, a silver flying disk zoomed up and away into the stars.
There was a loud crash as the back door was swung open with enough force to rip it off it's hinges, and a panting, exuberant newcomer burst into the room. "Hi… guys…" she said between breaths. "I ran as soon as I heard the news but I…. I guess I got here late…. Anyway…"
OoOoOoOo
"I am not happy about this," the spectral form of Zelos said as Celsius amused herself by passing her hand through his transparent, ghostly image. He stared with longing at his cold and extremely dead body.
"We're really sorry, Zelos," Raine said, because let's stop fooling ourselves we all know that's her real name, and Sheena nodded. They both still had a hand on the hilt of the sword. "But at least this way it's easier for you to be a peeping tom, huh?"
"I guess," he relented, floating around aimlessly. "But you're not quite off the hook yet. You guys are soooo going to be haunted now."
"We sorta deserve that…" Sheena said. "And it wouldn't be so bad to have a sidekick who could be invisible!"
Raine shot her a look. "No fair! You already have Cel, let me have Zelos!"
"Christ, you can keep Cel if you want. She's god damn useless, a good for nothing Summon Spirit."
"Oh, you know what I'm good for," Celsius purred, glancing at Sheena over her pale grey shoulder.
Sheena coughed loudly, turning the color of Lloyd's armor as she quickly changed the subject. "And, well, you know, I guess we're going to have to share him since I'm sure as hell never letting go of this sword." She gave it a half-hearted tug even though she knew it wouldn't come off. After the blast, it had permanently glued to the two women's hands.
"You just know all sorts of wacky hijinks are going to come of that!" Celsius said, giggling and running circles around the pair. "And hey, maybe you'll kiss and make up, neh?"
"I'd like to see that," Zelos admitted, leering at them.
Raine leapt to her feet, unable to help the fact that she dragged Sheena up as well when she did so. She pointed her free hand at the ninja, her face a mask of rage. "I'd never become friends with a thief like that!" she said hotly.
"Thief?" Sheena said. "You're the thief! That golden banana hammock was mine and you know it!"
"I deciphered the map that led to it!"
("Banana Hammock?" Zelos whispered to Celsius. She shrugged.)
"Yeah, but I was the one who dug it up!"
("You know, it's that wooden thing you use to hang bananas from so they don't get rotten and mushy," she whispered back. "They make lovely presents.")
"But I figured out how to use it!"
("Oh, I get it now.")
"But I-"
"LADIES!" Zelos floated between them, his incorporeal arms held out as an ineffective barrier. "I'm sure you both have very valid reasons as to why you broke up, but we have more important things to do, like try to watch out for that tree!"
Raine and Sheena gave him a confused look before they were both walloped by a large tree branch. The impact knocked them unconscious immediately and they crumpled to the floor as Kloitz stepped out of the shadows, a patch over his left eye and a hook attached firmly to the stump of his right hand. Zelos and Celsius shrieked in utter terror and began to run (or in Zelos's case, fly) about the room in a frenzied panic as Kloitz tossed his tree branch aside and picked the two women up, carrying them away.
"And this is when the fun starts, yarrrr…." He said under his breath, limping away on a wooden peg leg.
OoOoOoOo
Sheena awoke to find that she was in a semi-dark cell with Raine curled up next to her, one thumb planted firmly in her mouth as she suckled on it in her sleep. Sheena sweat-dropped, remembering the annoying habit that she had teased Raine with for years, back when they were still in the treasure hunting business together.
"Stupid Sheena… steal my… banana… this could be heaven or this could be hell…So she lit up the candle… and she showed me the way… there were voices down that corridor when I heard them say….!" Raine said in her sleep, sighing against Sheena's neck. Sheena shook off her softer emotions and steeled herself, shaking Raine with her free hand.
"Raine, or Indy, or whatever the hell you'll respond to…. Wake up!"
"Nu!" Raine said, turning away so violently she pulled Sheena on top of her due to the fact that they were still bound tightly together- and what's worse, the stickiness seemed to have spread up their hands into their arms.
Sheena blushed furiously for a few moments before using the sure-fire way to get Raine's attention. "Oh Raine," she said in a sing-song voice, "I think I see a Balacruf vase from over-" She didn't even get to finish her sentence before Raine bolted awake, sitting up quickly only to knock her forehead against Sheena's, since the ninja was still on top of her.
"Oww-woow-woowww!" she complained, laying back and rubbing the sore spot with her free hand while still looking around eagerly for any ruins to plunder. Then, as if noticing Sheena fully for the first time, she blinked. Their hands still bound together by a fairly large sword, they made quite a picture staring at each other in the semi-darkness, Raine's half-elf eyes glowing faintly.
She lifted up her free hand to cup the face of the ninja looming above her, her expression unreadable. "Sheena," she said.
"Raine…" Sheena whispered in response, her breaths quick and shallow. She returned the soft gesture, almost timid, shifting slightly and propping herself up on one elbow so that her full weight wasn't resting on the half-elf anymore.
Raine slapped her. "Bitch."
Gritting her teeth, Sheena grabbed a fist full of the archeologist's silver hair and knocked her head against the cell floor, growling, "Whore!"
After that was done they both sat up, nursing their respective wounds as they looked around the prison cell and came to the same conclusion: no way out. Sheena needed both her hands to use her awesome ninja skills the right way, and Raine didn't have any bright ideas either. Sheena paced around the room, awkwardly dragging Raine along as she looked for another way out than the single reinforced steel door. She banged the Eternal Sword against the wall, growling with anger.
"Stupid sword doesn't shoot out energy beams when we need it to!" she said when Raine pulled her arm back to prevent any further banging and possible damage to the artifact. "Come on, Raine, you were always the smart one of the outfit. Help me think of a way out of this!"
Raine raised one eyebrow. "So you're nice to me only when you need my help. I see how it is."
"Get a life and stop being so sensitive," Sheena said. "If we don't get out of here, who knows what that creep o zoid Kloitz will do to us!"
Raine paled, but she shook her head in agreement. "You're right. I'm being foolish. Here, move a little closer so that I can examine the sword." Sheena complied and Raine turned the purple blade this way and that, swinging it experimentally in the air. "I just wish I knew what triggered that first attack!"
"That was so cool though," Sheena said, remembering the powerful magic with a sigh. "Zelos was being so annoying, and I just got so mad…"
"Yeah, me too," Raine agreed, thinking hard.
Bing!
A light bulb went on in the room.
Sheena giggled. "I found the light switch!" she said, removing her hand from the switch.
"Thank God. I was starting to go blind in this darkness…." Raine said, and then she looked down at the sword again, trying to figure out its mystery. "You don't think it's our combined emotions that triggered that blast, do you?" she asked Sheena. The girl shrugged, tugging again at the Eternal Sword. "Maybe if we concentrated both of our will together, we could create another blast to knock that door down. Want to give it a shot?"
"I don't see why not," she said. They lifted their joined hands up, pointing the artifact at the door. "On the count of three, get really pissed at that door."
"OK."
"Ready? One-"
"-Two!"
"Three!" they shouted together before feeling like complete retards when absolutely nothing happened. Sheena yelled obscenities at the top of her lungs while Raine silently fumed, both wondering what they had done wrong.
"Maybe it we weren't feeling the right emotion," Raine said, "Or maybe we just weren't feeling strongly enough to make it work. Our combined emotions…"
"Maybe your crack theory is wrong," Sheena said, making a soft, groan-y noise of anger and frustration before plopping down onto the floor, accidentally dragging Raine down with her. They both awkwardly shifted about, trying to find a comfortable way to sit while still joined at the hand. Eventually they settled on sitting back-to-back with their hands out at the side, leaving each other with their own personal thoughts.
After a moment, Sheena decided to share hers: "I guess there's no way out of this one, Raine." She shook her head, "I mean, Indy."
"It's OK," the half-elf said. "You can call me Raine."
Sheena half-turned, blinking in surprise. "But I thought you hated your middle name," she said, feeling bashful and not sure why.
Raine shook her head, blushing. "That's not it," she said. "That's not it at all. What I don't like is just anyone calling me by my middle name, like they're my friend or something."
Sheena sweat-dropped. "I would think your first name would make more sense if that's that case."
"Well, not for me."
It took the human a while to realize that this meant Raine wanted her as a friend. Feeling a stab of guilt deep in her chest, she tried to turn around again, feeling strange, as though emotion was threatening to well up inside her and would cause her to pop if she didn't do something.
"Raine, I-" she tried to say.
"The truth is-" Raine started at the same time.
They stopped.
"I know you were-"
"What I'm trying to say-"
Sheena gritted her teeth, closing her eyes. She was determined to get this out, and nothing would stop her! "Raine," she said, even as Raine tried to keep talking. "No, stop, you have to listen. Listen to me, damn it!" she turned all the way around, gripping at Raine's shoulder with her free hand. The half elf still had her back facing the human, but Sheena didn't let that stop her.
"But I-" Raine continued stubbornly, trying to shake her hand off.
"I'M SORRY!" Sheena managed to say, completely drowning out Raine's voice in her apology eight months in the making. After a moment, her entire face went bright scarlet and she turned so they were back-to-back again. "OK?" she mumbled.
"…I think I might still be in love with you," Raine finished, her voice uncharacteristically timid.
Sheena's heart stopped.
The sword fell to the floor with a clatter.
Our combined emotions…
"Oh!" Raine said, delighted as she jumped to her feet, rotating her wrist stiff from imprisonment. She turned around, puzzled but grinning hugely at the other woman. "Sheena, it's-"
She didn't get far before Sheena tackled into her, knocking her down and kissing her fiercely. "Mmnnnnnph!" Raine said, her eyes wide as she waved her arms in a panic, trying to breathe. Eventually she managed to get the ninja off of her, pushing her back by her shoulders so that she sat back on her heels, looking disappointed. Raine got up, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand and blushing.
"What?" Sheena asked, impatient.
"Sheena, you have both your hands free," Raine pointed out. "Don't you know what that means?"
"Yeah," Sheena said, trying to move forward again, "It means this'll be a lot less awkward to attempt."
"No!" Raine said. "It means you can use your awesome ninja skillz to open the door!"
Sheena paused. "Damn," she said after a moment, "You're right."
Raine sweat dropped. "You do want to escape...?"
The raven-haired woman grabbed at the half-elf's hand, checking the time on her wristwatch. "Can't it wait an hour or three?"
"Sheena…!"
"Fine, fine!" she said, throwing her hands up in defeat and scrambling towards the door, pulling out a lockpick and getting to work, grumbling all the way. Raine walked forward, putting a hand on Sheena's shoulder for support as she reached out with her other hand, pulling on the door handle with Sheena's help.
They opened the door to find that they were actually in….
OoOoOoOoOoOo
"Hey, it's Mesha and the other OCs!" Lloyd called out, waving to six figures standing in the doorway- the other doorway that had magically materialized so that Kratos could continue his oogling. "And Harley," he added quickly as the red-headed half-elf shot him an angry glare.
"Everyone always forgets me," Harley muttered as Mesha patted his arm sympathetically. "And I don't have red hair; I'm wearing a red bandanna, dumbass!"
OoOoOoOo
A/N: But we're going to forget that minor detail because I'm too much of a half-assed lazy writer to go back and change all the references to his red hair. X)
OoOoOoOo
"Just because I'm not a major NPC like Yuan is you don't have to…. Where is that freak, anyway?" Harley said, randomly changing the topic.
"Um," Presea said, glancing towards Kratos, who had begun to conspicuously sneak out of the house.
"Yeah," Regal, who hadn't said anything else in this chapter and won't again because I love him too much to subject him to that form of torture, said with a firm nod.
"No," Colette added.
All three had spoken at the same time.
"You don't want to know," Lloyd finally said, awkwardly rubbing his head.
"I think I do," Pandora said, grinning and shoving the timid Kratos out of her way as she went outside to join the other, much more interesting party. Matias sighed, making his way to a corner of the room where he could munch on celery stalks and other assorted vegetables with ranch dip, carefully making sure he didn't move his scarf too much or stain it or something. Alex began talking animatedly with Regal and they both went off to talk more someplace else because this is getting to be too many characters for me to keep track of at once, there's a god damned reason why I split them up all over the world.
But before Regal and Alex could open the door to the other room that had magically sprouted in Dirk's cramped wooden house, two figures stumbled out of it, tripping and rolling across the floor to land at the center of the room in an ungainly tangle of limbs.
"Hi guys!" Sheena said, waving at them as Raine extricated herself from the ninja, brushing the dirt off of her leather jacket.
"Oh yeah, that party was today wasn't it?" Raine said taking off her fedora respectfully since she was indoors. Then she paused. "Wait a second- why are we in Lloyd's house?!"
"I didn't want you guys to miss the fun," Kloitz said, bashfully stepping in through the open doorway and taking off his eyepatch. "Wait a second- why am I the only one in costume?!" he accused Matias, who shrugged innocently. Cursing every foul word under the sun, he stripped off the pirate costume and sat next to the mute, taking his plate of vegetables and dip away from him to munch moodily in a corner.
Raine and Sheena looked at each other, matching expressions of confusion and relief at the same time. "You mean you weren't kidnapping us?" they asked their archenemy.
"Well, I kinda was," Kloitz admitted. "I didn't think you guys would accept me very well if I arrived at your doorstep with invitations in hand. So where's my brother? I wanna see the rascal."
"Um, yeah…. No."
Then, the doorway burst open and Celsius and Zelos jumped in with their weapons ready, howling out war cries. "We're here to rescue you, hunnies!" Zelos said, floating menacingly with a large ethereal sword in hand.
"Aye, avast!" Celsius added.
"I just had to find out how to materialize new clothes first," Zelos continued, looking very spiffy in his new armor.
"Oohh!" Kloitz squealed, delighted with Zelos and his ghostly armor. "So I wasn't the only one to come in costume!" he said as Zelos stabbed him repeatedly and ineffectively with his transparant and flimsy ghost-sword.
"Celsius, help me avenge your mistress!" Zelos shouted, but Celsius ignored him to go to the party outside.
"Calm down…" Raine said. "We're fine."
She felt Sheena slip her hand in hers and reflexively clenched it tightly, smiling. Zelos looked from one woman to the other in confusion, not knowing why they would be smiling if they had just been kidnapped by their archenemy.
"Are you sure you're fine..?" he asked, a little put-out at not being able to burst in and rescue them like he had planned.
"Maybe more than fine," Sheena said.
THE END.
Not. Alex walked back into the room and wiped all their memories like I told him to, so this little fantasy was totally forgotten by everyone except me, then I used my awesome author powers to destroy his memory of this chapter. And that fills that little plot hole.
A/N: Reviews are more than welcome…
Don't worry, this is the last time I'll be doing something like this! Next chapter we'll be going back to your regularly programmed Sheena chapter, since even chapters are always Sheena chapters. Yay, more Presea! ♥♥