Disclaimer: As usual, if I owned Bleach, I would not be writing this. The same goes for the song. We must thank the amazing group, Trading Yesterday for this masterpiece they call a song. I heard it a few days ago and I just had to write. For anyone who doesn't know it and wants to listen to it (which I highly recommend), it is called May I.
May I
(Trading Yesterday's, May I)
And there you stand opened heart-opened doors
full of life with the world that's wanting more.
She stood as a silhouette against the blinding brightness emanating from the Senkaimon gate. Her gaze held a broken body longingly and a diamond tear clung to her eyelashes, too stubborn to fall.
But I can see when the lights start to fade,
the day is done and your smile has gone away.
In the darkness of the jail tower, a single beam of sunlight fell through the slit of a window. However, all the light did, was illuminate the broken, hopeless expression of the prisoner.
Let me raise you up.
Let me be your love.
So smug. And proud. It radiated out of him in waves as he held her atop the execution stand. He held her close, briefly reassuring himself that she was real and that he didn't fail. Then, he hurled her to the ground into the waiting arms of her childhood friend. He knew that if he didn't let go fast, he never would.
May I hold you
as you fall to sleep,
The darkness of his closet cradled her petit form as she slept off the latest bout of hollow-induced injuries. He stood above her, longing to be the shadows that embraced her.
when the world is closing in
and you can't breathe.
As he fell to the ground, fighting blood loss and unconsciousness, hers was the first and last face that he saw.
May I love you.
May I be your shield.
She stepped in front of his limp body and held her beautiful sword steady and proud. Her shoulders were squared and her jaw set. For once, she would protect him; she would carry him home.
When no one can be found
may I lay you down.
He screamed for help as her blood leaked out from between his fingers that clamped down on her wound. As the Espada impaled her, he abandoned all else and only saw her body fall in slow motion to the wet cement. He caught her at the last moment and lowered her gently onto the pavement.
All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...
to give you all that your heart needs the most.
He was the one that chipped the ice in her brother's heart. He was the one that made the cold
man realize that caring for the living was more important than keeping a promise to the dead. In the end, it was he who allowed the first bits of warmth to creep into the cold relationship between the siblings.
Let me raise you up
Let me be your love
For weeks he was silent and detached. His friends and family looked on with worried eyes but did nothing to help him. Then in a routine hollow hunt, he slipped. She caught him, and on the rooftops of Karakura, she told him that no matter what was inside of him, he would always be the man she knew him to be. No hollow could change that.
May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
She met him in Hueco Mundo and called him an idiot for thinking he was alone. He was never alone and he never would be; she would spend the rest of eternity trying to make him understand that. She would follow him to hell and back just to prove it.
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
Although it was a rescue mission for their human friend, he kept careful watch on her reaitsu. He knew when she was fighting and, when she was hurt, he was the first to realize.
When no one can be found,
may I lay you down.
She squared off against death and when she was thrown from the sky at a breakneck speed, he caught her and set her down on her feet. It was not the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last.
All that's made me
Is all worth trading
He worked so hard to control his hollow. He fought on both physical and spiritual planes to gain that control. However, when she was hurt, control didn't matter. All that mattered was how much pain the son-of-a-bitch who hurt her was going to be in. If he was still living that is.
just to have one moment with you.
Battles could rage around them but so long as he could catch her eye once and make sure she was alright, he could continue fighting until his body was reduced to dust.
So I will let go of
all that I know
knowing that you're here with me.
It had been months since she stepped through his wall and into his life but he still trusted her with that reckless abandon. She chastised him many times for being so comfortable with her but she didn't have the heart to tell him enough. On the night that they met, he allowed her, a stranger, to plunge a sword into his chest. As Kaien would say, a heart was created that night. From then on, they worked to keep that heart strong without ever realizing it.
For your love is changing me.
He felt so much turmoil in his soul. Every day it was the same anger, the same struggle. When she walked in, he finally had an outlet. When she faded out, he lost that outlet. But, after months of retreating into himself, wallowing in the painful mass that was his broken soul, he saw a slight glimmer of light and tried. He tried to be a man she could be proud of.
May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
She came back to him much as he expected; during the battle with Tsukishima. He barely got to say hello. Afterwards, he was so entangled in shinigami arms that she couldn't even see his orange hair. But she didn't need to. The team was back. She could take on anything, even the next few moments without him.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
The night of his return was a festival that Soul Society had not seen in almost half a millennia. But she was not part of the celebration. Standing by some hidden lake on the outskirts of Rukongai, she finally let out her feelings. She cried for everything she had lost and everything she had gained. She thought about the past 18 months and the pain she felt. She thought about how just breathing hurt, let alone thinking of him. She sobbed and screamed in a way that no Kuchiki ever should. She finally gave in and let the world close around her.
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
He found her kneeling at the edge of a small lake, choking out sobs and his name. For the first time, he saw her in her entirety; open completely without the Kuchiki-fucking-façade. He saw her as more than just a shinigami; she was a real live person that could feel love and anger and pain . Quietly, he approached her from behind and wrapped her in a warm embrace. She didn't turn, just accepted the presence that was undeniably his.
when no one can be found
may I lay you down.
The last of her tears fell silently onto the grass at her knees. He had held her for almost an hour and the tears hadn't stopped. When she composed herself enough to turn and face him, she saw diamond tears gleaming on his cheeks. Alone in the dark of the moonless night, they could lower their barriers and just feel. There was no one to judge them; no one to tell them to stop. When the tears ceased, he pulled them both to the ground and together they lay under the dying stars.
A/N: So whatcha think? Should I never write songfics again? Should I continue my other story (Next Steps)? Eh. I will never know if you don't press that review button…