Author's notes
I've decided that Johnny will occasionally appear in the story, but since this isn't in the crossover section, he won't be in every chapter. Also I'm doing the link thing again, I really suggest you do it as it will add a lot of comedy to the scene.
"Let's see, toothbrush? Check. Extra shirts? Check. Extra pants? Check. I hate Chris coffee mug? Check. Underwear? Check." Wesker was going through his check list to see if he had everything he needed for his vacation. Johnny was supposed to pick him up in about an hour, so he was getting ready to leave. Just then, Krauser bursted in wearing a straw hat and one of those Hawaiian shirts with flowers on them, carrying around half a dozen bags.
"Ok, I'm ready to go!" He announced.
"Go where exactly?" Wesker asked, even though he knew the answer.
"On the cruise!" Krauser said excitedly.
"Sigh, Jack, I've told you time and again, you're not coming! No one is coming! This is my vacation, I'm taking it to get away from you! I'm going to be alone, as in you stay here! Do you understand!" Wesker asked.
"... Ok, can you run that by me one more time?" Krauser asked.
"YOU'RE NOT COMING ON THE CRUISE!" Wesker screamed.
"Well then why does Ada get to go!" Krauser complained.
"Becau- wait, Ada?" Wesker asked.
"Come on Wes, I've been waiting forever!" Ada said as she suddenly walked in, nag in hand.
"No, no, hold on now. Ada is not coming either." Wesker said.
"Yes I am." Ada said.
"No you're not." Wesker said.
"YES, I am." Ada defended.
"NO, you're not!" Wesker countered.
"YES... I... AM!" She said.
"... Ok fine." Wesker said.
"Oh, so Ada, William, Nemesis, Mr. X, Mr. B, AND tyrant get to go, but not me!" Krauser asked.
"Wha- there not coming! It's just me and Ada, who has to pay for her own ticket by the way." Wesker said.
"No she doesn't." Ada said.
"Fine." Wesker said back.
"Wait, so it's just you and Ada? No one else is going?" Krauser asked.
"For the love of god yes! Finally he gets it!" Wesker said.
"Oh, well boss, I may have accidentally told a few people that they could come." Krauser said sheepishly.
"What do you mean by, a few people?" Wesker asked, the rage boiling up inside him.
"Weeeeellllllll..." Krauser began. Just then, a loud crash was heard downstairs, and then many voices. MANY voices.
"Cap'nI'msosorrypleaseforgivemeIdidn'tknow!" Krauser talked so fast he was almost illegible, but by the pitch of his voice it sounded like some desperate plea, mixed with the feeling of just urinating yourself.
"Ididn'tmeantoIwasju-" Krauser was cut off by Wesker hand on his throat.
"How...many...people?" He asked through clenched teeth. Unfortunately, Krauser ended up fainting, and peeing a little more.
"GAH!" Wesker yelled as he threw Krauser away. He then walked downstairs to asses the situation, with Ada, who was trying to hold back the laughter, right behind him. As Wesker got to the bottom of the staircase, he realized just how serious the situation was.
"I didn't know a guy like Krauser could have so many friends." Ada said while looking at the dozens upon dozens of people.
"I just finished waxing the floor!" Came Mr. X's voice.
"Wow, there thure ith a lot of people here." Mr. B said.
"Just look at all these test subjects, hehehehe." Birkin laughed.
"Wuh... huh?" Krauser said as he woke up. He quickly remembered what had happened, and raced out of the room to find a hiding place. But in his haste, he toppled down the stairs, and fell right on Wesker.
"OOMF!" Wesker grunted as he fell.
"Oh, oh god boss I'm so sorry!" Krauser said on the verge of a heart attack. His pants were now leaking various fluids, and as Wesker slowly rose, a god awfull smell also started coming from them. Wesker stood up slowly with the devil in his eyes, he was angrier then ever. Krauser thought it was the end of him, but then he saw her. Like a guardian angel, Krauser's savior approached Wesker.
"Hello there Albert." Said Alexia Ashford. Wesker looked her way, and his anger melted away. Alexia opened her mouth to speak.
"How nice to see y-"
"I want your body." Wesker intterupted.
"EXCUSE ME!" Alexia asked.
"I said good to see you." Wesker said.
"So what are you doing here anyway?" Ada asked.
"Krauser invited me." Alexia said.
"Wait, your friends with him!" Ada asked.
"Well... you could say that, hehe." Alexia giggled as Krauser flashed her a smile.
"Albert! How long has it been!" Suddenly came a familiar, and girly voice. It was none other then Alfred Ashford!
"Oh, it's you... yippee." Wesker said.
"Ahehe, you flatter me." Alfred said as he flashed Wesker a smile, who nearly threw up.
"Well it's been nice seeing you two again, but I just HAVE to meet some of Krauser other friends." Ada said as she grabbed Krauser and carried him off. Wesker, feeling very... uncomfortable around Alfred, followed.
"So, who else is there?" Ada asked.
"You guys wanna say hi to Steve?" Krauser asked.
"I don't think I can stomach his voice for even a minute, anyone else?" Wesker asked.
"ADA!" Suddenly yelled a voice, and Ada immediately wanted to die.
"Ada! Ada wait!" Said a familiar blonde as he literally climbed over people in his way in order to get to Ada.
"Why it's my favorite stalker!" Ada said sarcastically.
"Hello, Leon." Ada said.
"Ada, I love you!" Leon yelled.
"Well, it's been nice seeing you but we have to go." Ada said as the three ran off.
"Bye!" Leon said cheerfully.
"Ok, is there anyone here that I can stand?" Ada asked.
"Ummm..." Krauser said with a finger on his chin.
"... Brads here." Krauser suggested.
"No thanks." Ada said.
"Now Ada don't be so quick, I'm sure chicken heart can provide some entertainment." Wesker said.
Meanwhile
Brad Vickers was hiding under a table waiting for everyone to leave.
"Oh man, I knew I should've stayed in bed today!" He thought.
"Oh Brad!" Came a voice. Brad looked up to find his old Captain, Albert Wesker. But before Brad could get a word in, Wesker began again.
"There's someone I'd like you to meet." Wesker said with a smile. Just them, thundering footsteps could be heard, and slowly, Nemesis pushed his way through the crowd. Upon seeing Brad, his eyes lit up, and his emotions could only be described with this song.
/watch?v=PZOhm7qS-AI
"STAAAAAAARRRRRRSSSS!" Nemesis cried as he ran for Brad. Time seemed to slow down as he ran.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Brad cried in terror. Nemesis pushed and shoved his way through the crowd, and eventually made his way to Brad.
"GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Brad screamed.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD!" Wesker yelled.
"STAAAAAARRRRRRSSSSSSS!" Nemesis called. He grabbed Brad by the collar and yanked him up.
"PLEASE NOT AGAIN!" Brad pleaded. He knew what was coming. Nemesis slowly brought up his hand, and the familiar tentacle appeared. He looked back at Brad and smiled a warm smile.
"AAAAARGHPPPFFLRRR." Brad gargled out.
"TENTACLE RAPE!" Leon screamed from across the room.
"AHAHAHEHEHE!" Wesker cackled. This was the greatest moment of his life.
Author's notes
Poor Brad. Also, remember when the voices first started and Wesker was mad at Krauser? He was so scared he was talking gibberish, but both sentences are actual sentences, I just didn't space them. Good luck figuring out what he was saying, hehe.