Author's notes
A few drug references in this chapter, but everything will become clear at the end.
Wesker just continued to blankly stare at HUNK, as the situation got more and more awkward. Wesker was trying to get inside HUNK's head, find out what he's thinking, why he would find it necessary to guard Wesker in his sleep. HUNK on the other hand was determined to win the imaginary staring contest they were having. Suddenly, a loud growl interrupted the two.
"OMG a monster!" HUNK yelled.
"No you idiot, thats my stomach!" Wesker yelled.
"But I thought you already ate breakfast in the last chapter?" HUNK asked.
"Well the plot of this chapter requires I eat again! So were just going to retcon that or something." Wesker said.
"You know, with a little planning on the authors part, this problem could have easily been avoided." HUNK said.
"Just go draw me a bath while I eat breakfast." Wesker said.
"k." HUNK replied as he pushed his way past Wesker and into the room. Wesker, meanwhile, went to the kitchen to have breakfast.
A few minutes later
An old fashioned, mahogany table sat in the center of the kitchen. It was old, but still in shape. Wesker liked it, it gave the room a classic feeling. On the table, sat a bowl. The contents of this bowl were a mixture of sugar, corn syrup, cornstarch, cocoa, canola oil and/or rice ran oil, caramel, beet juice concentrate, color salt, fructose, calcium carbonate, tricalcium phosphate, natural and artificial flavor, zinc, iron, vitamins C, B, B1, B6, B2, B12, and E, folic acid, and finally, BHT. Or cocoa puffs for short. Wesker put a spoonful in his mouth and savored the taste.
"Mmm, I'm coo coo for cocoa puffs." Somehow escaped his lips. Wesker quickly looked around the room, looking to see if anyone heard him say that.
"Good," He said as he saw no one there. "No need for bloodshed today." He said as he took another bite. Once he finished, he went into the bathroom to see if HUNK was done.
"Are you finished with my bath yet?" He asked. HUNK handed him a picture of a bath.
"I drew you a bath, just as you requested." HUNK said. Wesker sighed as he buried his head in his hands.
"HUNK...just, just go, just leave..." Wesker muttered.
"As you wish." HUNK said as he left. He opened up Wesker's front door, and was immediately bum rushed by Krauser.
"HUNK!" Krauser screamed.
"Yes." HUNK said.
"You have GOT to check this out!" Krauser continued as he rushed HUNK inside his room.
"What, what is it?" HUNK asked.
"Ok, so I was on deck talking to Claire, who totally digs me by the way, but anyway I remembered I forgot to get dressed this morning!" Krauser said.
"I've noticed." HUNK said to the naked Krauser.
"So, I went to my room to get dressed, and look at what I found growing in my closet!" Krauser said as he opened the door to his room and rushed HUNK to the closet. Krauser opened up the closet, to reveal...weed.
"Krauser." HUNK asked.
"Yeah?" Krauser responds.
"Why are you growing weed?" HUNK asks.
"I DON'T KNOW! I just found it in my room!" Krauser says amazed.
"...We have to tell everyone about this."
So HUNK and Krauser go back on deck, after Krauser gets dressed of course, and they soon find everyone huddles up together. Wesker, Ada, Birkin, and all the other bad guys are on one side, while Chris, Leon, and Jill are on the other.
"EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" Krauser screams.
"IS THE SHIP SINKING!" Chris asks.
"No, its even better!" Krauser says.
"Hang on, that would imply that that ship sinking is good, soooo..." Claire asks.
"LISTEN TO ME!" Krauser screams. "You guys aren't going to believe this, but, in my room, in my closet, I am growing...weed!"
"...Weed?" Ada asks.
"Ah-huh!" Krauser nods.
"Wait, what?" Wesker asks.
"WEED! I have weed growing in my closet!" Krauser says.
"Oh my god!" Barry drags out.
"Come on guys!" Krauser says.
"OK!" Leon and Chris say excitedly. No one else cares very much, so the four of them just walk away.
"Oh look, the idiots are bonding." Ada says sarcastically.
"I'd better go to, just to make sure everything is all right." Claire says.
"I'll join you." Jill says happily. So those two run off after the men.
"Hey guys, I just had a, you know, one of those things in your head." Leon says.
"A what?" Claire asks.
"Like a, like a, like a head ache, but with words." Leon says.
"A thought?" Claire asks.
"Yeah yeah, thats it!" Leon says. Claire rolls her eyes.
"So anyway, I just realized something. A stripper is an exotic dancer, right?" Leon asks.
"I wouldn't know." Jill says.
"Well, if thats the case, would that make a drug dealer a street pharmacist?" Leon asks.
"A street pharma-...hey, your right Leon!" Chris says.
"Yeah!" Krauser says.
"Cool!" Jill says, as happy as ever.
Later
With Krauser in the lead, the 6 of them all make it to his room. Krauser unlocks the door, and opens it up.
"EEEEEEK!" He screams upon seeing someone in his room.
"A BURGLAR!"
"No no! I'm not a burglar!" The woman says.
"Then who are you!" Krauser demands.
"I'm just the maid!" The maid says.
"I never asked for a maid!" Krauser yells.
"You don't need to! Its part of the cruise! All rooms have a maid come and clean, it's absolutely free!" The maid protests.
"I'm am NOT paying extra for this!" Krauser nearly screams.
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO I JUST SAID IT WAS FREE!" While Krauser and the maid argue, HUNK leads everyone to the closet.
"Prepare to have your minds blown!" HUNK says. He then opens up the door, to reveal...
"Weeds?" Claire asks.
"YES!" HUNK says.
"HUNK, those are weeds, like, the plant." Claire says.
"I KNOW!" HUNK says excitedly.
"Aww man, I thought it was pot." Leon says sadly.
"What the-pot! As in marijuana?" HUNK asks. Leon nods.
"LEON! That stuff could kill you! Shame on you!" HUNK scolds.
"Well, hang on, if its just regular weeds, why were you so excited?" Claire asks.
"Because, this makes no sense! This is a ship in the middle of the ocean, how could weeds be growing here!" HUNK asks.
"Well thats because-" Claire stops mid sentence. She puts a finger on her lips as she thinks.
"It's because..."
"SEE! You don't know! That's why it's so cool!" HUNK says.
"Now hang on, there has to be a reason! This makes no sense!" Claire says.
"It's a conspiracy!" Leon yells.
FIN