Meredith

I would give anything not to be stuck on neuro today. Maybe I can act out during rounds and be stuck in the pit or something. Perhaps I can even do labs and discharges. I could be so lucky. The last thing I need is Derek and that damn abused puppy look he gets. Why can't I ever find my stethoscope? Did I leave it somewhere yesterday? Crap. I really don't want to deal with this today. "I lost my stethoscope."

"Again? Seriously, Mer, why don't you just put it right back into your locker before you go home?" Does Cristina really think I haven't thought of that already? I should just ask for labs and I won't even need my stupid stethoscope.

"I thought I did put it in my locker. I am just going to ask Bailey if I could be put on labs. I really don't want to deal with Derek today."

"And you think Bailey will just grant your wish? Just like that? Have you forgotten her nickname already?"

"Do you think Addison knows?" I don't need nasty looks from her either. It's bad enough I slept with her husband, I don't need to feel bad for sleeping with her…Mark.

"Why should you care? She got what she came here for." She's right. Why should I even care about what they're thinking? They ruined my life, not the other way around.

"Come on people, time for rounds!" Bailey yells from the hallway.

Is it really that time already? What am I going to do? She is going to freak if I do not have my stethoscope. Isn't that what I want? So I can be stuck doing scut. This is what I have come to, a surgical intern hoping to be as far from surgery as possible. I hate men.

"I have an extra stethoscope if you need it Mer, it's never been used or anything. It's brand new, I promise." Should I use it? Yeah I guess so.

"Thanks, George."

"Dr. Grey, Dr. Sloan has requested your service today," Bailey says before they get started.

Oh yeah I forgot about the rhinoplasty. I am not even sure I want to deal with him right now either. I guess I have no choice. Maybe I should just make myself throw up and go home for the day. I just hope I don't run into anyone on the way to the surgical floor. I am just going to take the stairs. I can't believe I made it all the way to the surgical floor without bumping into a single person. Oh crap, there is Derek in OR 1. I'll just have to duck under the window so he won't see me. This was a bad idea. My back, ouch, my back. Shoes, I see shoes. Crap.

"Dr. Grey, I was just coming out to look for you." Stand up straight you moron. I must look like such an idiot to him.

"Dr. Sloan, perhaps we should talk somewhere else." I really don't want Derek seeing us talking. I could see another fight right here on the surgical floor. Scrub room, yeah scrub room is good. We have to scrub in anyway.

"So have you seen ferry boat today?" What the hell is he talking about?

"Ferry boat?" Is he trying to talk in code?

"Yeah you know the ferry boat you saw last night." Oh he means Derek. Does he really want to talk about this now while we are in surgery?

I need a code name for Addison. "No, I haven't. Do you know if apple knows?" Did I seriously just call Addison apple? It was the first damn red thing that came to mind. This is so stupid.

"Apple doesn't know." I can't believe he understood what I meant. Or maybe he is just pretending he understood. "Dr. Grey, I am going to make the incision. Do you want to get a closer look?" Oh that wasn't code I don't think.

"Of course." Mm, standing next to him makes this a lot more sensual.

"So what do you feel about New York?" New York? He must be talking about himself.

"I am very fond of New York. I would like to spend more time in New York." Or for New York to spend more time in me is more like it.

"Seattle is pretty cool. I definitely made the right choice by staying." He's talking about me or the actual city? This is getting so damn confusing.

"So um, is this just surgery or is it bigger than that?" There is no way he is going to understand what I am talking about.

"Dr. Sloan, she doesn't know if this is surgery or not?" a nurse chimes in.

That stupid bitch.

"It's fine nurse, don't worry about what we are saying. Keep handing me the instruments I need and keep your mouth shut." He told her! "Dr. Grey, about the surgery…I think that I'd like to do a few more tests before making a definite decision." That isn't what I wanted to hear. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it with all these people around. No, he's right, I don't need anything more than just surgery right now…I mean sex!! God, this is getting ridiculous.

"I agree with you." I do agree. Seriously, I do. Is this damn surgery over now? It's getting uncomfortable in here. I think they're all staring at us anyway. Is that my pager going off?

"Dr. Grey do you need to go?" Why did he have to say it like that?

"It's Bailey, they need me." Just in time.

"I am almost finished up in here anyway. I will see you later to discuss that surgery." I like the sound of that. I wonder what they need me for. It must be something big. They have never called me away before. Maybe it's a car accident, awesome. Is it bad that I am happy for a car accident? I am a horrible person. I was right. It is a car accident. "Holy crap."

Mark

I wonder if there is another place I can change into my scrubs. The attending locker room would probably be a bad place for me right now. I guess I could just lock myself into an on call room for a second. This is ridiculous. Since when am I worried about what other people think? Fuck him, I'm going to walk around naked. Ok That may be a little childish. I am going to have to talk to him about this sooner or later. "Derek…" And there he goes. Maybe not.

"What did you do this time?" She obviously doesn't know. It's good to see they're communicating. They have got to be the worst couple ever. It was so worth leaving me for him. Shit, I have to get up to the OR. I'll have to talk to Bailey first…and there she is.

"Dr. Bailey, I would like to have Dr. Grey assist me today." Why is she looking at me like that? Does she think she is intimidating me? Just say yes.

"I will let her know, Dr. Sloan." That's right. You know who your boss is. I don't think I will ever get the hang of where everything is in this damn hospital. I should count how many looks I get from nurses each day. No I probably couldn't count that high. I do have to say the operating rooms here are a lot nicer than what I dealt with back in New York. I wonder if I can get some tonight. She did say rest day. Day means one which means today is free reign.

Is that Meredith over there? What is she doing? She's not even paying attention. I should go over there. "Dr. Grey, I was just coming out to look for you."

"Dr. Sloan, perhaps we should talk somewhere else." Hm, why? Oh Derek. I guess we could get scrubbed in. I am going to start soon anyway.

There are people around. We can't do this in front of them. I guess I could try speaking in code. What would be a good nickname for Derek? I got it. Ferry boat. "So have you seen ferry boat today?"

"Ferry boat?" Oh man, she doesn't get it. I am going to have to somehow explain this to her without actually explaining.

"Yeah you know the ferry boat you saw last night." This is so stupid. I should have just waited until after.

"No, I haven't. Do you know if apple knows?" Apple, hm, she probably means Addison. Apples are red. Great logic.

"Apple doesn't know." I should probably get the surgery started. I can see the room getting more and more interested in our conversation. "Dr. Grey, I am going to make the incision. Do you want to get a closer look?" Oh that wasn't code I don't think.

"Of course." She smells great. If these people weren't in here I'd fuck her right here on the floor of the OR.

Why do I feel like I must know about how she thinks about me? Since when do I care? I need a nickname for myself. "So what do you feel about New York?"

"I am very fond of New York. I would like to spend more time in New York." Yeah well I'd like to spend a lot more time in you. God, she's doing this on purpose. It's torture.

If I am New York then that makes her Seattle. This is kind of fun. "Seattle is pretty cool. I definitely made the right choice by staying." I hope she understands that I am talking about her.

"So um, is this just surgery or is it bigger than that?" Surgery. Hm. What can surgery mean? I guess she means sex. Does she want a relationship?

"Dr. Sloan, she doesn't know if this is surgery or not?" a nurse chimes in.

I knew they wouldn't be able to keep quiet this whole time. Mind your own business, you fat cow.

"It's fine nurse, don't worry about what we are saying. Keep handing me the instruments I need and keep your mouth shut." Was that too mean? Do I really want a relationship right now? I don't know. I think I still want to test the waters a bit more before I make a decision. "Dr. Grey, about the surgery…I think that I'd like to do a few more tests before making a definite decision." I hope that's ok.

"I agree with you." You do? What the hell is that noise? Is that a pager going off? Is that her pager?

"Dr. Grey do you need to go?" Did I sound too needy? I think I just sounded disappointed. I didn't mean it like that.

"It's Bailey, they need me." Well that sucks. I wanted to look at her more.

"I am almost finished up in here anyway. I will see you later to discuss that surgery." That was probably the weirdest conversation I have ever had. The funny part is that we both understood what the hell we were talking about. I hope she doesn't mind that I just want to fuck right now. It's going so well just doing that. Why ruin it with a relationship? I don't think she needs a relationship right now anyway. We are too messed up. I should probably concentrate more on this rhynoplasty and less on my sex life. Hopefully I can page her into an on call room later on. So much for concentration.