Well guys, here is the second section of James' journal. I hope that I used your guys' advice and fixed it. Like, is it more…manly or whatever? Ahhh I hope you guys like it…~runs away and hides around a corner while you read the story~ I've got quite a bit of the story wrote up, it's just a matter of typing it up and more importantly finding an internet source so I can post it. Right now, with being in school, I can usually go to my friend's (Dancing on Water) house and upload, but after school is out it'll be harder for me to post. But I shall find a way! hehe XD

Disclaimer: Even though James and Kendall are tied to my bed, I do not own them…yet bwahahahaha

March 13th

I can't believe them! They're all so selfish; you'd think they were the ones living out here in Cali. They're certainly acting like all of the backstabbing assholes that run around up here in the upper suburbs …I found out today from my mom via a fucking email that her and dad are divorcing. Can you believe she didn't have the decency to even call me; she was so cowardly to face me that she emailed it to me? You'd think that a loving mother would at least break some news of this sort over the phone, but no not my mom. It's been a little while since I'd seen either of them, but back then everything seemed pretty fine. So how the hell did they get so far apart in such a small amount of time? It's all moms' fault, I know it is. I talked to both of them, got both of their stories and have come up with what I feel is pretty close to the truth: One night mom and dad got into a fight and mom kept pushing dad's buttons further and further, something I know from experience she's pretty damn good at. Mom swears up and down he almost choked her to death but based on what dad said (and my own knowledge of dad's character) he just griped her arm a little harder than he probably should have and pushed her down into a chair so he could leave and calm down. Now I'm not saying that that was right, I don't agree with laying hands on a girl, but if slightly using a little force to get one out of your way keeps you from bashing their face in to a wall, then in my opinion it is the best possible way to go. Turns out mom had been stashing cash in a separate bank account and the minute that he did that she took out the money, rented an apartment, and filed for divorce. What a horrible bitch of a wife. What happened to trust in marriage?

Oh crap, gotta go work on a recording with Gustavo, the last thing I really want to do right now but I've kinda signed my soul to him-practically. Write later I guess…

Around midnight:

Anyway so now mom's out on her own and dad's completely distraught because he doesn't know what went wrong and caused her to leave him. The poor guys is pretty much coming undone all because she's a money grabbing…..The whole thing's an utter mess, to say the least, if you ask me and I can't help but get a massively bitter taste in my mouth whenever I talk or even think about my mother. I mean, I'll always love her, of course, because she is my mom and all but I really can't stand her and who she is becoming. I can't wrap my mind around what is going through her mind right now.

I didn't tell any of the guys and I really don't feel like telling them. I don't need their pity…I know I'm supposed to enjoy the spotlight and attention (no such thing as bad publicity right?) but I really don't feel like having them look at me like I'm some poor child with a woe-is-me complex. I'm strong and I'll get through it on my own. If there is anything I can't stand its people pitying me and treating me like I'm some fragile child who can't so much as get something to eat for myself. I'm seventeen for god's sake I think I've figured out how to take care of myself by now. I won't even allow myself to cry over it. I know that might sound stupid-and I know that all those weird shrinks who think they know everything about how your feeling would say that it will only lead to self-destructive behavior (everything leads to self-destructive behavior anymore!),-but crying just shows to many signs and when you live in a house full of people; one of them is bound to notice.

Especially Kendall.

He's probably one of the most observant guys I've ever met. And if he wouldn't notice then Logan would and he would tell Kendall. I definitely don't need Kendall of all people treating me like a big baby. But enough of that, my blood pressure is rising and I'm getting really pissed and I'm tired of thinking of my mom and her whole drama she started. As far as I'm concerned right now, that's their problem all the way out in Minnesota and I need to stay focused on what is going on out here in Cali with the guys and the band.

As far as Kendall news: Nothing out of the normal really. Last night I woke up from quite a pleasant dream about Mr. Knight and to my horror I found myself sticky. It's been some time since I'd had a wet dream. But now it seems like every time I do it involves Kendall in the leading role. Whenever I get caught, usually by the blonde one himself, it's easy for me to just play it off and make up a story about a hot girl and an intimate setting somewhere. Honestly, the only thing that I usually have to lie about is who it is that I was dreaming about. Sometimes I get the urge to just tell him the truth, forget about trying to come up with lie after stupid freaking lie to satisfy their questions. When I think of coming out though I get an intense adrenaline rush or wind up in a mini panic attack and can't push out the words. Even just thinking about telling them makes my breathing start going crazy. Maybe it's for the best though…

So there you go. Poor poor James! lol Let me know what you thought about it of course. I'm pretty happy with the story name so thank you KxJ luver for suggesting it! So…~starts announcing questions about the story in a cheesy soap opera voice~ I shall see all of you next time I guess. Thank you for taking time out of your busy, social butterfly days, to read ma little story!