Previously: Thank you.
My flight was being called so I put my phone away and went to my flight.
After I got off the flight my mom was waiting for me.
"Mom! I have missed you so much!" I ran over to her and gave her a hug. I haven't seen her in a year and I really did miss her. We spent a few minutes just hugging.
We got back to her house and she showed me to a bedroom that she had made for me when I called her and told her I was coming.
We went down stairs and my mom was making dinner. I knew I had to tell her about the baby but I didn't know how. I just decided to try to start out slow and see where we got.
"Hey mom. You know when you had me with dad, what were you thinking?" I looked down and she stopped cooking. I wonder if she knew.
"Bella I love you. I always have. I wish I could have had a baby with somebody who I was going to be with for the rest of my life but when I found out I was pregnant I knew I was never going to ever give you up. I loved you. I still do." She smiled and went back to cooking. I didn't really know what else to say to that so I just decided to tell her.
"Mom im pregnant." I saw her stop what she was doing and look at me but I didn't look at her. I couldn't.
"Bella, what do you mean? I thought you were the type of girl was going to wait." She looked like she didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe it either.
"I didn't mean to. Obviously. I got drunk and I didn't mean to get drunk either im sorry. But I had sex with somebody I didn't even know and I wasn't on birth control because it was my first time and I wasn't planning on having sex and he didn't wear a condom and I know its not his fault but I didn't mean to and I keep blaming him and I needed to see you because I don't know what to do." I started crying half way through and she came over and hugged me.
"Bella sweetie you are going to be fine. Don't worry I will help you. You do what you want to do but I will help you with it I promise. Im sorry you are going through all of this." For the rest of the night she was holding me and telling me is was going to be alright.
The whole week went by pretty quickly. Alice called me and kept trying to get me to come back. She never talked about Edward except to tell me he left and that I can come back now. I knew I wasn't ready to come back though. My mom was so much help and I needed her. I didn't know if I ever wanted to come back.
Edward knew I wanted my space because he never texted me back after that two words he sent me. I was grateful. I knew I didn't want to talk to him. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about that baby. I knew I wasn't going to get an abortion. Now that I was thinking about it, my mom was right. It was my baby too. I loved him or her.
I knew that I needed to do what was best for the baby and I didn't know that keeping it would be the best thing. I was looking into adoption but I wasn't sure if I could do that either. I wasn't sure about anything.
It was about a month later and I went to the doctors again. I was still living with my mom so she came with me. We were waiting in the doctor's office.
"Bella Swan?" A nurse came out to get me and told me to wait in the doctor's office. I wasn't showing yet. My stomach was hard when you pushed on it though. When the doctor came in he told us that he was going to do an ultrasound. I got excited when he said that.
I was laying down and my mom was holding my hand. He put the wand thingy on my stomach and there was this sound that started fill the room.
"That's the baby's heartbeat." The doctor was looking at the screen. He told us that everything was forming good and he told me things that I should be eating and things that I shouldn't. He told me what I should be expecting later in the pregnancy. When we were leaving I was looking at the picture that the doctor had given me.
"Do you think I should send it to Edward? Would he want to see it?" She kept driving and didn't say anything for a while.
"I don't know Edward sweetie but I would give it to him just in case. If he doesn't want it then he can just throw it away." She smiled as if she didn't know what else to say.
"I don't know what he is thinking about all of this. I don't even know where to send it too. I could ask Alice. She might be able to get that from Jasper." I decided that I was going to give it to him. I didn't know what he would think but I had to do something.
When we got home I got Edward's address from Alice and she said I better send it quick because he was moving. She didn't tell me where he was moving but I didn't care. I was most likely going to be staying here.
I sent the picture and decided I would write him a letter with it.
Dear Edward,
I'm sorry I got mad at you for everything. It was my fault too. I'm not going to say I regret that night because I love this baby. I have decided I am not going to get an abortion. I love this baby and I want the best for him or her. I went to the doctor's and everything was going good.
I don't know if you even want a part in any of this but I hope that you are well. I have also decided that me and the baby are going to stay here with my mom if I decide to keep him or her. She will help me with everything I need.
Goodbye Edward. I wish you the very best.
Bella.
I didn't know what he would think but I sent it anyways.
Edward wouldn't stop trying to call me after that. He was trying to convince me to come and live with him so we could raise it together. I already got into college here though so I didn't think I would be going. He called me one night and we had a very interesting conversation.
"It doesn't mean we have to be together Bella. But I want to see my baby. Its not fair for you to just keep him or her away from her father. Please Bella." That was the last phone conversation I had with him. I hadn't heard him since. It was about 6 weeks after the doctor's appointment. I didn't know if it was normal but I was getting bigger. I wasn't huge of course but I felt huge.
I was only 18 weeks pregnant and you could tell that I was pregnant because the only part of me that was getting bigger was my stomach. I was eating a snack when I heard the doorbell ring. I thought it was strange. I wasn't expecting anybody and my mom was at work. We didn't have school today so maybe it was just a solicitor. I answered the door and saw a very nervous Edward standing at the door.
"Bella, I know you are probably going to be mad that I came here but I need to see you." He looked down at my stomach and I saw him smile. "You look beautiful." I rolled my eyes.
"Cut the crap Edward. My hair is in a bun, I'm wearing sweats and tank top. What do you want?" I was starting to get mad.
"Bella I can't just let you walk away from me like this. You can't take away my child!" He started yelling. He went to touch my stomach but I was way to mad to let him. I pulled away. "Bella please don't be unreasonable." I knew I was being unreasonable but so was him showing up at my place without telling me.
"How did you even know I was here? Did Alice tell you? I swear to god she needs to just stay out of my—"
"Your letter. I saw the address. Bella please. I promise I will be the best father to that baby. I swear just please give me a chance." He looked like he was about to cry and I couldn't help it.
"Come in Edward." I opened the door and he smiled and walked in. I was leading him to my bedroom. I didn't know if this was a good idea but I knew I had to hear him out.
When we got to my room I closed the door and he sat on the bed. I wasn't sure how we were going to start this conversation. It was quiet for quite sometime. He finally broke the silence though.
"I want to be in my baby's life. I know I wasn't really there for you these past few months and it has been killing me. Please Bella just give me a chance. I moved to Seattle with Jasper and if you move back then we can be together. If you want." He was starting to get nervous.
"Edward, I know that you want to be there for me. I just need my mom to help me. I don't know if I could do this without her. She has helped me so much. I'm scared to do this alone." I started to cry.
"Bella please don't cry." He reached over and hugged me. "I will be here for you. You won't be alone. You will have me Jasper and Alice to help you. Please consider this." I started thinking and he was right.
"Okay, your right. I'm sorry. If I move over there what are we going to be? And if I move over there then are we going to be living together or what?" I didn't know if I was ready for a serious relationship.
"Bella I will be anything you want me to be. I want to try to be with you but maybe we should take this slow. I do want to live with you for when the baby comes though. Maybe not right away but I do want to be there for you." He took my hands in his.
I grabbed his hand and put it on my belly. He looked up at me with a shocked expression and then it turned into the brightest smile I have ever seen. He was so cute. I knew he wanted to take it slow but I knew that this would be good. I'm not saying we should go straight into it but I didn't want to take baby steps and take a year to become a relationship.
Before I realized what I was doing I leaned in and kissed him. It was just a peck and I can tell it surprised him. I pulled away and I looked at him through my eyelashes. "I'm sorry. I just don't know if we should take it too slow. We are having a baby and I really don't want our baby to have separate houses so maybe we should try. For the baby." His hand was still on my stomach and I just put my hand on his.
"I will move in with you. But I want to wait at least a week. I will pack my stuff and you take most of it over and I will take the rest when I come. I don't think I will go to school because I don't want to go to school for when the baby is here. I will just stay home." I leaned in and kissed him one more time and this time he kissed me back. Before anything got too hot I pulled away.
"Thank you." Was all he said before I heard the door shut downstairs. My mom was home. I had to tell her.
It was a few days after I told my mom that I was going to be going back to Seattle. She wasn't very thrilled about it but she let me go anyways. She also let Edward stay for a few days before he left. Most of my things were already packed since I didn't bring much over here anyways.
Edward was leaving today and he was going to be dropping his stuff at his apartment and Jasper and Alice were moving in together. I didn't know if they were doing it so I would come back or if they really wanted to but I was grateful that we didn't have to buy our own house.
Me and Edward were driving to the airport and I didn't really know what to think. He had been really sweet these past couple days and I was beginning to think I could really fall for him fast. He was amazing and kind and whenever I needed something he would be the first to do it for me. Maybe he was what me and the baby needed.
I didn't want to think to much about this because I still wasn't sure. I knew I wanted to keep the baby because it was mine. I didn't want anybody else to have her. But I wasn't going to tell Edward about my doubts of being a good mother. We were at the airport and I leaned over to kiss him goodbye. I thought it was weird that in the short little time that we knew each other it still felt so right to just be with him. To kiss him. It felt normal to me. Like I have been doing it for years now.
He looked up at me and smiled. He started to get out of the car but then stopped and put a hand on my belly and leaned down to kiss it too. My heart jumped at that and I didn't really know why. He got out of the car and was on his way.
When I got back home I was feeling really tired and decided to take a nap. I wasn't leaving for another few days because I wanted to stay here a little longer and Edward needed to go back for school. He already missed a few days and I felt bad.
"Hey sweetie, I want you to take this with you when you go." My mom came into my room and then noticed I was about to go to bed. "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were about to go to bed. I made you this and I wanted you to take it with you. So you will always have a little bit of me." She handed me a blanket that had all of our trip t-shirts.
"Wow, mom this is amazing. Thank you so much. I love you mom." I gave her a hug and then she got up and left. She smiled at me before she shut the door.
I was really tired and before I knew it I was sleeping.
I was packing up the rest of my things and I was headed toward the airport. My mom was driving me and I knew she didn't know what to say. She looked really sad.
"Bella, I know you are going and you have made your decision but I want you to know that I wish you would have stayed. I want you to call me when you are about to have him and I will be down there as fast as I can. I promise. I cant wait to meet the little guy. Or girl. Oh Bella I am so happy. I know you weren't planning this but I cant believe my little baby is going to have her own little baby." She started to get all teary eyed and I knew that if she started to cry then I was going to cry too.
"I love you mom. I will make sure to call you. I will miss you." And with that I got out of the car and then headed toward the door. The airport looked really busy and I didn't feel like going through all of this. I accidentally bumped into somebody.
"Oh I'm sorry miss. Here let me help you with this. That's a lot for once person even when your not expecting." He gave me a smile. I didn't really know how to react to that. I said thank you. "Where are you headed to anyways?" I figured since he was being polite I could be polite too.
"I'm going to Seattle. Moving there actually. To be closer to the baby's father. I was living with my mother." I thought I was starting to babble so I stopped myself.
"Wow really? I just recently moved there. For my work. I was here for a conference and now I'm finally able to go home." He looked at me and smiled. "So why weren't you living with your boyfriend in the first place. Why move to your mom's?"
"Well he isn't my boyfriend. It was all an accident. I didn't mean to get pregnant. I was confused so I moved to my mom's. He wants me to move over there to try to be a family though. So I don't really know what we are right now." Now that somebody brought it up I didn't know if I was Edward's girlfriend or if we were going to see how things went and then I was going to be his girlfriend but I figured we could figure that all out when I got there.
He followed me around everywhere and I thought it was sweet that he was trying to be nice to me. We got on our plane and I realized that he was seated right beside me across the isle. We talked about little things and he made me laugh. I could see me and him becoming great friends. When we were getting off the plane he started to laugh.
"After all this conversation I never got your name. Mine is Riley." He started chuckling again.
"Bella. My full name is Isabella but if you ever call me that I will have to beat you." I laughed at him. We exchanged phone numbers and he said we should hang out sometime. I figured he meant as friends.
I had Alice pick me up and I was excited to see her. I was walking off the plane and then I heard a high pitched squeal.
"Bella! Oh I'm so glad to see you! I missed you so much!" She was yelling everything and hugging me so couldn't move.
"Alice, I have missed you too." I smiled and I noticed her looking at me belly. I looked down and ran a hand over my belly.
"Can I feel it. I still cant believe your having a baby! I want you to name it after me. It favorite aunt." She smiled and before I could give her an answer she was already rubbing my stomach. "I think I felt it kick!" She said jokingly.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not even supposed to feel it for another week or so. I'm pretty sure others cant feel it yet." I laughed at her.
"Well I want to be the first to feel that little girl kick okay." She looked so bubbly. I have missed her so much.
"Alice I don't even know what the baby is yet." We walked to the car and she drove me to Edward's apartment. That was also mine too now. "Thanks Alice. I will see you later. I need to get settled.
I walked up the stairs getting a bad feeling about this for some reason and I heard soft voices come from our apartment. I realized somebody must be there too. When I opened the door though I didn't see anything. I went to where I could hear the voices which was in the room that Edward and I had sex in. I noticed it was a girl voice. I opened the door and what I saw shocked me.
"I know you need me too Edward." The strawberry blonde girl was there in just her underwear and then she started to kiss Edward. They both noticed me right there and they looked over.
"Bella plea—"Edward started to say but I couldn't hear anything. I felt this pain in my chest that I didn't understand. Why was I feeling this way. I left the apartment as fast as I could. I heard somebody coming after me so I tried to go faster, which wasn't a good idea because I tripped and fell. There was only a few steps left so I didn't fall very far but then I started to feel pains in my stomach. I noticed Edward was right there and he looked so scared. I didn't know what to do. I started to cry.
"Edward please help me. This hurts. Please help me." I started to hyperventilate. I couldn't lose my baby. I can't. I love this baby so much. I Edward look behind him and tell somebody to call 911. I didn't see who it was though. It was probably that girl.
I couldn't concentrate on anything. I didn't know what was going to happen or what I was going to do. I heard the ambulance but I couldn't really see anything.
When I woke up I noticed I was in the hospital. Everything from what happened all came rushing back and I put my hands on my stomach. I sighed a relief as I felt that my baby was still there. I looked around and I noticed that Edward was there. He was sleeping.
He had my hand in his and I pulled my hand away. I didn't feel like touching him right now. I needed to think.
After a few hours of thinking Edward woke up. He looked at me with a sad face.
"Bella I'm so sorry." I didn't want to hear his excuses.
"Edward, I don't need any explanations. I have been thinking… I want to give our baby up for adoption."