Do not confuse your vested interests with ethics. Do not identify the enemies of your privilege with the enemies of humanity. -Max Lerner
"That is preposterous! Saying such things does not make you look…" Hrist, now disguised as Leone, made a face as if tasting something bitter "…bad ass…" She turned her head, stopping in the middle of the cobblestone street. "and what the hell does such a term mean anyway?"
Arngrim couldn't help but chuckle, Hrist and her sisters were usually creatures of strict etiquette, even he had to admit, getting her to say the word 'badass' did make her look a little funny. "A badass is a guy, who doesn't take shit from anyone. Someone that everyone knows not to mess with…" Arngrim saw a single skeptical eyebrow rise on her pretty face. He thought for a second, trying to think of a way to get his point across, in a way that the Valkyrie could relate to.
"Look, that not important. What I'm telling you though, is that you gatta put a little style in what you do. Make em respect you, ya know? Let's say you bust into a room full of bad guys," The heavy warrior pantomimed busting in a door. "And you say, "I hope you're all hungry, because you're all going to be eating cold steel." Arngrim began to swing an imaginary sword, then stopped when he 'stabbed' his foe "You'd be a total badass"
Hrist rubbed her chin, deep in thought before she spoke "So must we still smite them with our swords? Or will they merely laugh themselves to death, at our corny declarations?" She tried to hide the smirk on her face, but failed.
"…You're hopeless, you know that?" Arngrim said with feigned disappointment in his voice.
Hrist's smirk evolved to a full blown smile. "Besides, Valkyries don't do bad ass…" the term still flowed awkwardly out of her mouth "for we are too busy kicking said asses". Arngrim nearly tripped on his own feet.
Holy shit, did she just make a joke? No, that couldn't be right. Because that would imply that Hrist Valkyrie might actually have a sense of humor. And somehow the thought of a wise cracking, funny girl Hrist Valkyrie seemed about as improbable as somebody eating their own head. But just in case, he watched her for a moment…
Hrist's cheeks began to grow hot under his intense gaze. "I am unsure as to why you are staring at me, but rest assured that I can, and will, hurt you."
And just like that, all was right with the universe
The former mercenary took in the glum surroundings. This place had really gone to the pits since he was last here. Finding what they were looking for wasn't going to be an easy feat by any means. "Where do you wanna start? It looks like a lot's changed since we were last here…"
The city of Villinore is still one of the largest cities in all of Midgard, and also one of the only places that were making a massive profit from the plague. As each town fell to the spotted death, it was incidentally wiping out the competition of its many fields of business. Villinore already had monopolies on things like wagon axels, saddles, and was one of the last places to get fresh beef. The massive city was already a corrupted place. Money had acted as a cancer that divided the city into the rich and the poor. The noblemen lived in the lavish northern half, with large houses perfect cobble stone streets and easy commodities, while the poor were condemned to live in what could only be described as a shantytown. They were forced to work in backbreaking, unsafe conditions for minimal pay, while the rich reaped every penny of profit. Now the price of everything was skyrocketing under the guise of supply and demand. The smelting shops and textiles plants were pushing labor into near impossible shifts.
In a feat that seamed nearly impossible the poverty line was becoming an actual visibly tangible thing. Most of the poor had to resort to petty theft to get by with what they need. Murder and prostitution was at an all time high. It was like the entire southern half was literally decaying away. Both Arngrim and Leone could only stand of in awe of the seemingly dying city.
But even Hrist had to admit, the huge sign that hung over their city entrance did look bright and friendly. And behind the weatherworn looks of the people and the battered faces of the buildings. People were still moving on with their lives. Smiling and jovial people were leading caravans throughout the various shops and children were doing nothing more than being children. Hrist was unsure of the feeling that was welling within her. Alicia had taught her, that human kind was resilient if nothing else, and there was nothing that anyone could ever do to take that away from them. Maybe the feeling that she had, was respect for these beings.
But all of that instantly melted away when one man, who reeked of booze, stopped in the middle of the street and urinated.
"That is gross…" The mighty goddess deadpanned as a couple of the guards came and arrested him, not even giving him a chance pull up his pants that now hung at his ankles.
Arngrim looked around and spotted a few moderately decent looking inns amongst the ghetto. Any one of them would make a good base of operations. Some time ago they had decided to go with the 'husband and wife shtick'. Though she loathed this disguise, they both agreed that this would be the most unassuming if they were to question jewelers, and not look like they were trying to rob them.
Hrist didn't mind the outfit, which was a pale blouse and a long lavender skirt, and she didn't even mind that her hair was pinned up in an unassuming pony tail. To Arngrim she sorta looked like she should inside of a school, teaching kids their alphabet ("alright class, A is for annihilation, B is for breaking, C is for carnage…").
What she did mind was that she had to play the part of a helpless woman, dependant on her husband for protection. Hrist could single handedly lay waist to this entire city, but right now she had to smile and play ignorant while Arngrim questioned everybody.
Arngrim was so lucky that no matter the situation, he never had to change. Whenever she had to play Leone the wife, he was protective husband. Or when she was Leone the mercenary, he was her partner. Even if she disguised herself as a noble, he was merely the body guard. Hrist both hated and envied him for this. But luckily for him, she was in a good mood.
That was until the voices in her head started.
"I'm hungry, I'm tired and I have to use the bushes!" Cromm whined, though no one but the Valkyrie could hear the voices in her soul.
"Cromm, why didn't you go when she asked us?" Roderick asked
"I didna have to go then… well not that badly anyway." Though they were in another plain of existence, you could almost hear Mylan shake his head in disapproval.
"Cromm for someone who drinks as much as you do, you should have seen this coming" The mage said, as though speaking to a small child. (a very large and drunken child)
"Shutup! You're not mah dad!" Mylan couldn't help but huff at the Vikings childish words. "Cromm, you're acting like a child!" he shot back.
"Ya, well yer actin like a fussy old woman!"
"you're an imbecile"
"Nah uh, you're the… stupid."
"I cant believe it, you're big and dumb! I certainly haven't seen that combination before."
"Ooh, look at me, imma wee mage, I can use meh magics, and I fight like a girl." Cromm mocked in a sing song voice. "That's you! That's what you sound like!"
"Fine, is that how it's going to be? Cromm your beard looks ridiculous and you should just shave it! There, I said it." The Viking gasped. "You take that back!"
"Never!"
The Valkyrie stamped her foot on the ground, forgetting that she and Arngrim were in the middle of the street. "All of you shut up!" She screamed, and pointed an angry finger, at her own stomach. "Stop bickering like children, or so help me, I'll turn myself around and…" she stopped talking as she suddenly became very aware of Arngrim, and everyone else on the street for that matter, were now staring at her as if she was a loon.
"I, uh…" Momentarily speechless, she turned to Arngrim for help, with a do something look on her face. Arngrim, thinking as fast as he could, said the first thing on his mind, to the steadily gathering crowds.
"…uh, my wife gets a little funny when she's out in the sun for too long." Everyone simultaneously looked up at the grey ceiling of clouds that hung in the sunless sky. "There's no sun." a small boy pointed out. But as soon as they looked back down, the duo were gone. If they would have looked hard enough, they would have noticed a small bit of lavender cloth disappear around the corner.
A few blocks down, Arngrim peaked around the corner to make sure that nobody was following them. He turned and couldn't help but smile at the scowling Valkyrie "I do not feel it prudent, to mention every small detail in our report to Valhalla… particularly this incident." She said, hoping to keep this between them.
There was a pause, and she swore that she could almost hear him thinking of ways to torture her about this later. She had learned a while ago that the number of Valkyrie-annoying ideas he had, was directly proportionate to the size of the smirk he had on his face. And right now it was pretty big. For a moment she almost considered 'removing' that infuriating look off of his face, but inwardly sighed instead.
She had enough problems on the 'public relations front', (a term that Arngrim coined up for people running and screaming away from her in fear) and decided that acts of violence were something that the old Hrist would do. So she decided that she would instead unleash her new and improved attack of choice: which was to tolerate Arngrims's teasing; but resent the hell out of them and drop snide remarks whenever she had the chance.
Xxxx
In the grand scheme of things, Marcus Vera tended to think of himself as an optimist. Evil-black-clad necromancers had to be, if they were going to succeed in bringing about the end of the world. Yes sir, when life gave Marcus lemons, he made evil, lemon yellow, undead monsters to reap his horrible vengeance on the fools who gave him lemons in the first place. Or so he had to remind himself as he navigated his steps around the various roots and stones that littered the Forest of Woe.
Marcus along with an army of mercenaries, his own disciples which trailed behind him like a slow moving metal parade, made slow progress through the thick muddy ground. It was easy enough to justify the need for a group the size of the one he had now, for all anyone knew, he was nothing more than some random nobleman scholar, and the forest was well known to be full of monsters. Everyone knew of the undead, and the lesser vampires that stalked just beyond the trees, just waiting for anybody foolish enough to wander into their territory alone. What most people didn't expect though, including Marcus, were that that there were insane Yetis everywhere.
That's right I said it, Yetis.
And evidently they weren't just the garden variety kind either, they were the insane ones. Though he had no idea if that meant if there were normal, civilized ones. Marcus had seen the warnings on the map he had purchased, but laughed it off as a joke. The joke was on him however, as a 10 foot tall, brown, bat-shit crazy Yeti came howling at him and his troops like some sort of avenging carpet. That crazy mofo, grabbed two unfortunate soldiers by their helmets, lifted them right of the ground and slammed them together, killing them instantly, before a volley of arrows and spears brought it down. Since they had started their journey into the Forest of Headaches, they've lost a total of 7 men, all of them killed in new and interesting ways.
Probably around the time a giant bird-lizard-thing came swooping out of the sky, and carried one of the men off like an oversized rodent, that the name 'Forest of Woe' just didn't do the place justice. This was more like the Forest of Suck.
With casualties this high, a paid army of no loyalty to any country would normally decide to quit and dub this mission FUBAR. Especially if they were to know that he was actually a man who practiced in the black arts. As far as they knew he was a miracle worker, a man who knew the location to the cure for the horrid disease. They all thought, he was leading them all to the hidden temple of the All Father, where the answers to the plague were. The ruse was perfect.
Marcus didn't actually need the men to deal with the monsters of the forest. Most of them were undead and he was a necromancer. Though the former military navigators were a big help, this place was a giant fricken maze.
What he was going to need them for was for what was probably after him. The plague was working far better than he had ever hoped for, and that in itself was a problem. He knew that the gods must have sent someone by now to take care of the problem. Under normal circumstances this meant that some random worthy warrior would be picked as their champion, and sent on a mission to come and kill Marcus and his accomplices. But he didn't think that was going to be the case this time.
He could deal with a champion, but the plague that he started was raking in deaths by the millions by now. So it stood to reason that he wasn't just going to get a champion sent after him, he was probably going to be sent an actual agent of the gods; a Valkyrie.
He knew that it was not really a question of 'if' they were going to find them, for he knew that they would. Even with the amount of painstaking research and caution he exercised, he knew that there was always a trail.
Luckily, his paid army was still at platoon strength. He highly doubted that they would stand a chance against an actual Valkyrie, but if nothing else they would provide a good distraction for him to get away.
"AAAAHHH!" everyone turned to where the sound of a scream was coming from. One of the mercs, an archer, was being devoured by a massive Venus Fly Trap.
"When I'm ruler of the world, I'm burning this mother down..." He gestured to the woods, to which everyone else nodded in agreement.
Xxxx
"Leone, I'm tired and I'm starved. You think we could find a place to crash for a while?" Hrist looked around and decided that their search could hold off for a day. Hoping to find a lead, they would have to explore the city's entire market district. They could already see several smiths but no jewelers. Feeling the Einherjar within her became restless at the mention of food, she decided finding a room would be acceptable.
"Lead the way." She commanded and soon found themselves within an inn, that Arngrim had been eyeing earlier. Hrist took an instant notice that they were both being stared at as an oddity. Not that there was anything wrong with their disguises, it's just that travelers were rare these days. Patrols were no longer sent out into the main road, due to fear of them returning to base infected. The roads no longer having anyone to maintaining order, bandits and raiders had pretty much taken control of the countryside. Traveling had become incredibly dangerous, not that it mattered to Hrist. She just flew over everything anyway.
A perky young woman behind the counter looked up from her task of laundry that she was evidently in the middle of doing, and dropped her scrub board and clothing into the bucket of soapy water. She quickly ran up to her post and tried her best to smooth out her dress and place her sandy blonde hair back under her bonnet.
"Hello you two, and welcome to the Choosy Beggar!" She bubbled with excitement, just happy to see some actual customers. "I'm Missy and we have plenty of room here." Actually she had every room available. Without any travelers taking to the roads she was quickly going under. She was forced to take in laundry from the other residents and provide 'other' services to the locals just to make the ends meet. Arngrim stepped forward and placed his hands on the counter as his Valkyrie stayed back. Arngrim was more of the people person, and she was perfectly content with letting him handle the business transactions.
He casually pulled a small purse of OTH from his belt and tossed it on the counter. It landed on the wooden surface with a heavy jingle that was music to the ears of the inn keeper. She looked at the bag hungrily. This was one of the on the job perks of being an Einherjar, Valkyries had the financial backing of Valhalla. It always felt good to toss around some claude once in a while.
"I'm gonna need a room, some food and a bath for a couple of nights." The purse disappeared behind the counter almost as quickly as it hit the wooden surface.
"Oh yes sir! I'll show you to your room right away. And I'll get started on your dinner too sir." She beamed, judging by the weight of the purse when she picked it up. The tip alone was going to be worth more than the cost of the services. "Are stewed beef and vegetables going to be ok?" she asked eagerly.
"That's good. I'm going to need a whole pot though." She blinked for a second "are you sure? That's a lot of food." Arngrim smiled and quickly pulled Leone by the waist to his side, so unprepared by the sudden move she gave a small 'eep'.
"I've always been a hefty eater, and my wife here is eating for two." The second part he whispered, causing the Valkyrie in disguise to instantly tense. It was probably wrong that Arngrim took pleasure at making her squirm and he didn't have to look to know that she was glaring at him. But damn it, it was fun, even though he would probably pay for it later. Missy looked at the angry scowl on the young woman's face, and it was more than likely that she was going to kill him as soon as they were out of sight.
She had no doubt that they were married.
"Aww, that's so sweet! Just look at you, you're practically glowing already." If by glowing, she meant turning red with embarrassment, then yes she was indeed glowing. In fact, if she got any redder, Arngrim was pretty sure that she was going to burst into flames. "I can tell by the look, that you are a first timer."
"Er… uh, Yes, it shall be my first… child." she looked to Arngrim, and could see that he was infinitely amused at her expense. Perhaps if she concentrated enough, she could glare so hard, so powerful, that she would set stupid Arngrim and that stupid grin on fire.
"Oh, don't be so nervous, I'm sure everything will be fine. So do you have a name picked out?" she continued to gush.
"Yah honey, have you got name picked out?" Arngrim added, smiling more than any man should ever be able to.
Onfireonfireonfire "… I think I shall name him Arngrim" she glared darkly at him "for I think I shall need a replacement" Missy clapped her hands to together and looked lovingly at the Valkyrie in disguise.
"You are so funny!" she turned to Arngrim "I can't tell how lucky you are to have found someone with a sense of humor."
"Yes, they tell me that I am a real hoot." Hrist said woodenly.
As much fun as teasing the Valkyrie was, Arngrim had to get down to business. "Hey you wouldn't happen to know of a place around here that could trade fine metals with us do you? Namely mythril?" Missy put a hand under her chin while she thought.
"Mythril huh? Let's see… I don't think you're going to find anything here." She said a little apologetically "not a whole lot of us around here could afford something like that. I'd say that if you wanted to find a mythril smith, you're going to have to head to the northern markets by the noble's district. But I think they have the area closed off though." Arngrim raised an eyebrow.
"Closed off? Was there an infection?" that could be bad, if the only lead they had was dead and in a quarantined section, then that would effectively put them back at square one.
"My heavens, no. It's just closed off to the southern end of the city. They say it's just a precaution, but really I think they just don't want us riffraff in their part of the city." She said despondently "you'd probably need to get a pass to enter, but good luck getting one of those." He nodded, and took a step back.
"All right you guys, your room is upstairs and to the left" she pointed with her hands "and don't worry, I'll knock before I come in with dinner." She said with a wink.
Hrist smiled back at her. "You have my thanks, kind hostess." Then turned Arngrim "Come dear husband, we have much to discuss upstairs" she said sweetly. Arngrim swallowed hard, as that special part of his brain that controlled self preservation began to tingle. "Uh, well we could ju-" He was cut off as Hrist all but began to drag him by his hand up the stairs.
Just before they disappeared out of view, Missy was pretty sure he saw the big guy mouth 'don't leave me with her' but just shrugged it off as her imagination.
Cute couple though. she thought
Xxxx
Slam!
With the door shut, they were alone, and Arngrim could do absolutely nothing but stare at what was probably the face of his doom.
"Eating for two, am I?" She asked as she stalked across the room. Arngrim put up his hands in a half hearted attempt to placate the angry reaper of souls. "Uhhh… we needed an excuse for the extra supplies?" He'd be damned if he told her he'd said it because he thought it was funny. There was a light thud, as Arngrim finally ran out of room and backed into a wall. Desperately, he said the only thing he could think of that would save him. "Hrist, I think this would be a perfect time to remind you of the 'no stabbing' clause in my contract."
It's true, he actually had one.
xx
"Well this kinda sucks…"
Admittedly, they weren't exactly the most profound words that were ever spoken in this situation, but they certainly did fit the moment. Arngrim opened his eyes and saw that he was inside of some sort of… mansion? This was easily the biggest room he had ever seen in his life. Everything looked impossibly expensive. How he got here, he had no idea. The last thing he remembered was Leone taking the Dragon Orb and…
No, that wasn't right. She wasn't Leone, she was that Valkyrie. Arngrim wracked his brain trying to remember her name. Herst? Thirst Valkyrie? No, that didn't sound right at all.
Holy shit, did she stab him? His hands immediately went to his chest, and discovered a new, and massive, scar running all the way from his collarbone to his stomach. Seeing it kind of validated the whole memory. There was no way he could have survived something like that. He knew fatal wounds when he saw them. (mostly from inflicting them himself) He turned around, and that's when he saw her armored form near a window.
The same bitch that stabbed him.
They were alone, and she had her back to him. Arngrim decided that a good old fashion, passionate, ass whooping, was definitely in order. But first he needed some answers, so he scratched that. He was going to have to kick ass, and take names (because he honestly couldn't remember her name). Most of her features were obstructed by the sunlight that was coming in through the window, she had her arms crossed, and she was looking out over the grassy plains outside.
"Hey! How the hel did I survive" he gestured to his new scar, regardless of whether or not she was actually looking at him "and who are you? Really." If she heard him, she didn't make any indication of it. the only sign that she was a real person and not a statue, was that she shifted her weight a little, leaning a more on her right leg. Arngrim realized that he was probably in serious danger. He was facing an unknown enemy, in an unknown place, with no idea of how, or why he was brought here. So he did what any man would do in a situation like this: he took the opportunity to check out her but and the glimpse of her leg that had slipped through the slits of her skirt; Yup, she was pretty smoking.
"I'm talking to you, the least you could do is look at me!" he snarled. Then she finally turned to face him. Arngrim couldn't help but shiver. Gods those eyes freaked him out. He was used to the violet, soft eyes of Leone. Now they were golden… and hard.
"My name is Hrist Valkyrie, goddess of fate, agent to the all father Odin." She stated coldly "And you did not survive."
The news hit him like a ton of bricks, mostly because he kind of knew that it was true. He actually remembered drowning in his own blood, the searing pain that confirmed the damage that her weapon did to his chest. He remembered fighting for consciousness as the darkness closed in around him. Arngrim died…
"Why?"
"I did it, because I required your soul. You now stand in Valhalla, the holy capital of Asgard." Yup, this had to be, by far, the second craziest start to a day he has ever had in his life.
"What the hel do you want from me?" The Valkyrie turned back to the window, what she was staring at he didn't know. "War has been declared upon Dipan. I plan to launch an assault, and I require someone to watch my back… Dipan has developed some magic's that I may not be able to combat." Arngrim couldn't help but scoff at this.
"Your negotiating sucks lady, you think I'm gonna help you do anything after you friggen stabbed me with a halberd?"
"Yes."
Well at least she got points for full disclosure. He looked around the room for an escape route, or maybe something he could use. He really couldn't see himself working for this woman. "Give me one good reason why I should." He demanded.
"Because this is bigger than your petty mortal grudges" she spat "… and Odin will kill everyone." She sounded frustrated and impatient. Arngrim made a mental note to choose his words carefully. "Dipan plans to create another world, one outside the tree of Yggdrasil… They have somehow found a way, to wield the forgotten arts that only Odin himself has any right to use." Hrist turned her head slightly, allowing Arngrim a small, sideways glimpse of her face.
"So? What's so bad about those guys wanting to leave?" Arngrim really didn't see the problem with what they were trying to do. If they wanted to leave, and they found their own way to go, then let them go. His statement made the Valkyrie scoff at him though.
"You did not strike me as a naïve person. Just how far do you think they will be allowed to go? Odin would rather see the world burn, before he would allow them to do something so arrogant. And now that he has the Dragon Orb, that is exactly what he plans to do." Arngrim couldn't help but rub the temples of his forehead as he realized that he was in a 'lesser of two evils' situation. Gods he hated surprises, and plot twists. It was his personal rule, to always make sure that he always knew what was going on before he took a job. Surprises in his line of work, were a good way to get yourself killed…
In fact that's exactly what happened, now that he thought about it.
Alicia is a princes with a Valkyrie living inside of her (how that worked he didn't know), Rufus was an elf. That big guy, with the D name he couldn't remember, was actually some dead guy, and to top it all off Leone was actually a friggen Valkyrie. Oh and let's not forget the dozen or so other guys that were actually ghosts, or whatever the hell Einherjar are. Somehow, in some cosmic joke of irony, he was literally the only honest person of the group. He just wanted to get paid! And maybe score with Leone.
The entire journey had been like one big friggen soap opera, everyone revealing some huge life altering secret!
The biggest secret he was hiding was that that he was actually filling his water canteen with beer. But somehow he figured that revealing that shocking confession might pale in comparison to the others.
"… Fine. But from here on out, you and me are gonna have a 'No Stabbing' rule." He demanded. Hrist couldn't help but smile at him. She knew that she had made the right choice, by picking this mortal.
Xx
Hrist could only give a humph, as she stormed across the room summoning her other Einherjar. The second her back was turned he silently mouthed 'ow' as he furiously rubbed the spot on his arm.
Speckles of light that appeared in the room clustered together at random spots, as Roderick, Cromm, and Mylan took a sudden corporeal existence.
"Oy! About friggen time I'm hungry and tired, and I don't think I could take another moment being cooped up in there." Cromm whined as he popped his neck and stretched. Hrist, already very angry for making her look like a fool, raised an eyebrow.
"Is it so vile within my soul Cromm?" Hrist asked with a dangerous note in her voice. Cromms eyes instantly shot open mid yawn, as he cursed the bane of his existence that was his mouth.
"I, err" The massive Viking began stammering as both Mylan and Rod dove for cover. "Uhh, I mean, Its's just that yer a wee bit small..." Hrist's expression darkened even more. Rod gaped and Mylan mouthed a silent 'wow. "Well yer big enough lass… not that yer fat or anything!" He began to sweat as The Valkyrie shot him a glare that would have killed a small animal, like a hamster or something. "I mean you're so warm inside, I'm sure that anyone would be happy to spend all day inside of you… Am I gonna die?"
Xx
Missy rummaged through her spice cabinet, deciding what would go best with the stew she was making. The little sack that the big guy threw up on the table had over 500 OTH! Hel the room only costs 20 a night. At first she thought about returning it, but she needed the money. This would keep her afloat until business picked back up, so the least she could do was make their stay as comfortable as possible. As she was wondering if she had any carrots, she jumped when she heard a muffled male scream that was quickly followed by a 'THUNK', causing Missy to look up.
"What in the gods… oh." she rolled her eyes and gave a small chuckle. They sure didn't spend anytime messing around up there. She kind of figured that the little black haired woman was hiding a wild side in there somewhere. She carried an armful of spices to her counter and made a mental note to put some extra beef into the soup.
"Those two are probably going to need the extra protein when they're done." she said to herself, cheeks slightly aglow.
Xx Next Morning xx
Without ever opening his eyes, Arngrim was lulled from his slumber to the feeling of a warm body next to him. A combination of exhaustion, beer, and a comfortable bed partner, had the man sleeping like a rock. One of the things about being out in the field, was that being able to sleep indoors was something of a forbidden luxury. That was one of the few things he missed about Valhalla.
One of the only things he missed about it.
Things were a lot better since Odin bit the big one, but that didn't mean that everything up there was all peachy-keen now. There was still a lot of infighting and power plays going on, as they all tried to make the most of the vacuum that Odin left.
For a while none of that mattered to him. Arngrim was a rock star, the man who stood at Goddess, Valkyrie's side and defeated the evil sorcerer. Everybody wanted to be his friend, every Aesir woman wanted to hop in his bed. He was the envy of all of the other Einherjar.
Life was friggen awesome.
Unfortunetly though, one could only keep his head in the clouds for so long before he began to realize that nothing had really changed. Politics still ruled all, and all of Midgard still suffered. Arngrim soon learned, that spending his life as a mercenary had somehow blinded him into believing in a world of simple solutions.
Not to be mistaken, that world had served him well. A local village has a problem with crime? Stop the criminals. A town is too poor to feed its citizens? Teach them to farm, and fish. Hire someone who knows how to set up an industry of some sort, to make them self sufficient. It seemed like everything could be solved with the right answer.
Things don't work like that on a grand scale.
A massive drought renders the land barren of crops. The goddess of harvest could easily bless the lands and make food grow. However, she wants to be worshipped, wants higher status-quo in the royal halls of Valhalla. She wants to be recognized for her good deeds. If Rufus gives her what she wants, then that makes others jealous. The god of the hunt gets angry because nobody cares that he's keeping fresh game out for the mortals. In a fit of rage, he goes to war by sending people loyal to him to attack people loyal to her. People die, and in the end they starve anyway. It was simply a game that he, nor Rufus, really knew how to play. Arngrim began to feel trapped, like he was forced to watch all of the work Alicia had done be completely undone because nobody wanted to play nice. He soon found himself wishing that he could go back to Midgard.
Then Hrist came around…
"Hey" he said sleepily, bringing a hand to meet the arm, so casually draped around his neck. "This is a nice way to…" Arngrim froze when he noticed that it felt…hairy…
"If you desire, I could leave the room" a feminine voice said from across the room "I would hate to intrude on such an intimate moment"
The mercenary's eyes shot open to see the soft violet eyes of the night staring at him from across the room. Then he looked over and saw that he was being spooned by a snoring Cromm.
"UGH!" he pushed off, and landed unceremoniously on the wooden floor. The room was in a general state of disaster as bodies, beer bottles, and empty food bowls were strewn about everywhere. Roderick had passed out at the foot of the bed, and Mylan was face down, drooling on the rug. The only one who looked no worse for wear was Hrist, whom was sitting in one of the padded chairs (probably where she spent the night, due to the fact that she didn't sleep).
Arngrim began to rub at the temples of his forehead "What happened?"
"Tis not obvious? You men decided to have a little party while I was scouting the defenses last night" she said, though the earlier amusement in her voice was gone.
"Oh yea… Missy had brought up a bunch of brew to our room… and we thought that, since we made so much progress on our mission that maybe we could have a beer or two to celebrate…"
"A beer or two?"
"There may have been a third one in there somewhere." He said while nervously rubbing the back of his neck. Doing the best to ignore the 'flight' part of his fight or flight instincts.
"So I see. And what of my Viking?" she said gesturing to Arngrim's former bed-buddy. He turned and looked at him, though he was hung over, he quickly realized what he no longer looked like a walking red brillo-wool pad. Someone had shaved the man, poorly, in his sleep. Now he was down to a single lopsided mustache.
"…funny story about that…" he said, stalling for time in the hopes that some miracle would suddenly distract the Valkyrie and make her forget about this. As if Lezard or Odin would suddenly jump out from behind the dresser and reveal themselves to be alive and out to conquer the world. Unfortunetly, his dumb luck seemed to be sleeping-in as well.
"Oh? Please, do tell. I find that I could use a reason to laugh." Arngrim gulped, when she said the word 'laugh', like she really meant 'reason not to kill you'.
Xx
"GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!" Mylan and Rod cheered, as their large Scandinavian friend drank, no poured, a large one liter tankard of ail right down his throat. The impressive feat finally came to an end as he slammed the metal tankard down on the table with a 'wham', right next to 4 others, and a bunch of empty bottles.
"time?" He slurred at Mylan. The mage who'd had been keeping track shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe it… all five of them in under a minute."
"Hah Hah Ha-urp" Mylan took a step back while Rod just plain out ducked for cover, waiting to see if the Viking was going to spew.
Luckily he did not.
"I tolld ya I coulda dun it…" He said on unsteady feet "now, *Hic* whadda I win?" Both Mylan and Rod looked at each other.
"Another beer?" they both shrugged. The Viking was evidently pleased with the answered as he whooped. "Naw thatsh wut I'm talk-" whatever he was talking about, abruptly came to an end as he burped, swayed and fell over backwards with a loud thump. For a few seconds, the two silently watched to confirm that the large man was down for the count, then immediately sprung into action. Roderick produced a set of clippers, while Mylan pulled a small shaving kit out of a leather pouch, along with a bowl, and some various ingredients.
"Holy gods, I didn't think he was ever going to go down!" Mylan breathed with a sigh.
"The big guy's gatta have the liver of an ox…" Rod said as he watched Mylan begin to mix some ingredients in a bowl to make shaving cream. "You think he's going to be pissed when he gets up?"
The two looked at the red atrocity, attached to the Viking's chin… it almost looked like he pissed off a gypsy, and thus she cursed him to forever wear a red tumbleweed on his face.
"nah" they said in unison.
Xx
"Those two idiots shall pay dearly…"
Arngrim waited for his own inevitable berating, but to his surprise, it never came. Instead she just sat there on her chair, deep in thought. This was not the first time that he'd seen her in this funk, Hrist looked… distracted. He wondered if something was bothering her, that maybe she was concerned about something else besides their task at hand.
She was.
Though nobody said it, she suspected that a lot of the inhabitants of Valhalla were secretly waiting for her to fail, to show them that she was nothing more than an unstable weapon that that would prove to be too much a liability. A long time ago, Hrist had decided that living a life of irony sucked; she had been unofficially labeled a traitor for following her orders to the letter. In her heart, she feared what the consequences might be if she failed her mission. She knew that Rufus was a far stretch from Odin, and would probably hesitate to execute a cockroach, should he happen to see one. However though, all Valkyries had to spend time in their crystalline state at some point in time, to regenerate their souls.
Somehow she had a feeling that no one would care too much, if he just simply decided to never awaken her again. It could almost be dubbed 'merciful' to deny her the simple pleasures of the of experiencing the world-
"Hey, you alright?" She snapped from her revere, Arngrim was staring at her curiously and lowered himself so that he was at face to face with her. Her face melted from the scowl she unconsciously had on her face and gave an automatic 'I'm fine'.
This wasn't good enough for him; he wouldn't move and continued to stare at her, like if he did it long enough, he would spontaneously develop telepathy.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
Ugh, this was all she needed. To have a touchy-feely heartfelt conversation, with a man she had seen, articulately, belch the alphabet. But still, knowing that somebody cared, even if it was just a little bit, did make things seem a little better…
And if there was anybody she could talk to, it was a friend right?
"Tis nothing to trouble yourself with… it's just that" She paused as she tried to think of the best way to explain herself. "I really want this mission to go well; I find that I severely need this victory to help clear my name." She said, as Arngrim grimaced. Unfortunetly, Arngrim was well aware of the rumors and reputation of 'The Black Valkyrie', in spite of the fact that she had taken up arms with them to help save everyone.
Somehow, their story had gotten around. Everyone one knew of the crazed mage and how he nearly destroyed their entire world, just so he could kidnap Lenneth and have his way with her. Everyone knew of Odin's plan to destroy Midgard, and how he nearly killed the savior of the nine worlds. The rise of Rufus had been accepted with open arms, and everyone celebrated what was to be the new era of peace. Arngrim was totally baffled to learn that he had achieved 'rock star' status overnight for not only having actually seen, but actually fight alongside the truest form of the goddess Valkyrie herself, and save the friggen world. It was damned weird to have random Einherjar, and even some of the Aesir, give a crap about his opinion on new changes around Valhalla. The entire story was wrapped up in a neat little package of epic action, love, and selfless sacrifice, which was told at the dinner table, Every. Friggin. Night.
However, Hrist wasn't seen in the same limelight as the others. Hrist Valkyrie was completely villianized in this awesome tale, a black knight for being so loyal to Odin. But Arngrim knew that wasn't the case, the entire time she was disguised as Leone; she could have easily jammed a dagger into Alicia's back, and released Silmeria's soul at any time. And he knew that she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Hrist knew that Odin saw Silmeria as a rouge Valkyrie, she was one of the few beings in existence to ever defy the All-Father with any type of success. And if Dipan was successful, because of her, Hrist knew that punishment for Silmeria would be inevitable, possibly even permanent banishment into her Crystal. As crazy and complex as everything had gotten, Arngrim was able to identify Hrist's surprisingly simple plan through it all. Slow Silmeria down long enough for her to complete her mission, with the hopes that if Dipan was destroyed, Odin would be pleased enough not to take his wrath out on her younger sibling.
Somehow, seeing Hrist do something so simple as trying to keep her sister out of trouble made her seem more… human.
"Since when have you ever cared about what they think?" In the soft light, he saw her turn her head to him. The simple question seemed to upset the young woman. Valkyries were creatures of pride, and Arngrim knew that she would never willingly admit that they had gotten to her.
"Arngrim, I could not care less if they like me! Being a Valkyrie is not a popularity contest." She said heatedly "What I do care about, is that I don't get labeled as a traitor to Valhalla! I could face serious consequences…" Hrist stopped, and he could see the dread on her face as she thought of the worst possible outcome. It was a look that was so rare for her that it almost made her look alien.
She was scared.
"They could banish me Arngrim… To forever seal me away, to forever deny me the right to exist in any form, rebirth or god." He watched as she poured out her insecurities and fears to him. The fact that they had somehow brought her down so far from the fiery woman he knew, burned at the mercenary. At no point in time did her loyalties to Midgard, nor the Einherjar, ever waver. She didn't deserve this. "They could end me" she said.
"Then they can go stuff themselves" Arngrim declared casually, causing the goddess to raise an eyebrow at him.
"Arngrim, th-"
"Did you know that everyone thinks that Thor nailed you behind the courtyard, during Rufus's inauguration?" Sometimes it was hard to follow Arngrim's choice of expressions, but she got the idea and visibly blanched at the thought of her and Odin's son. It was no secret that he lusted after the Hrist and her sisters.
"Such garbage! They are fools, if they think that I would allow that lewd moron anywhere near me!"
"That's my point Hrist, that they" he pointed a single finger upwards to indicate he was talking about Valhalla "are morons." Hrist looked like she was about to say more, but Arngrim spoke first.
"Let me ask you something. Can Thor order you to be banished?"
"Well no…"
"What about the other Aesir? Or the Einherjar?"
"No, they cannot" she admitted.
"Then what the Hel does it matter! Hrist they're all a bunch of whiny stuck-up pansies! All they do is sit around, and piss and moan about how Rufus doesn't bend over backwards and kiss their asses."
Though slightly crude, Hrist couldn't help but smile at the thought.
"…I suppose that it matters not, what they think" Arngrim was rewarded with seeing the little thundercloud above Hrist begin to dissipate, and the proud woman he was used to begin to return.
"And what about Rufus, you care what he thinks of you? Or Freya?" She paused as she gave it some thought.
"Yes" she said.
"Good, because the kid likes you. He knows the truth about how it all went down. You think he would have given you this mission if he thought you were a traitor?" She shook her head, and Arngrim continued. "Hel, you should have seen Freya while they were prepping to wake you. I'm pretty sure that's the only time I've ever seen that evil witch smile."
Suddenly they both found themselves smiling, the angsty, and gloomy Valkyrie was gone, and in her place was the proud warrior that everyone knew not to mess with.
Then that's when Arngrim noticed a new look on her face. Just as alien, it almost looked like she was nervous about something, like she was prepping herself to take a blind leap of a cliff. He couldn't be sure… but it almost looked like she was gathering her courage for something…
"…Arngrim, may I ask you something?" The mercenary looked at her dubiously, unsure where this was going, but gave her a nod of approval. Hrist suddenly lost the ability to look him in the eye, as she stared at the ground. This was something that had been eating away at her for some time now, and she knew that if she didn't ask now, then she may not have be able to muster the courage to ever ask him.
"Is it possible that… what I mean is" Arngrim watched with marvel, as she stumbled on her words (a first for him). Screw it! She told herself. She had never backed down from anything in her life. Her fighting style, her tactics, Hel her whole damned approach to life itself, was based on high-risk-high-reward system. Hrist Valkyrie didn't just cut through the bullshit; she downright slashed and burned her way through it.
"Arngrim, do you think you could ever have feelings f-"
They moment was ruined when Cromm suddenly smacked his lips, and sat up. Our Dynamic Duo, suddenly very aware of the fact that Rod and Mylan had shaved him his sleep, they braced themselves for his reaction.
The mighty Viking yawned and scratched his belly with one hand, while the other rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. After a second he noticed the two staring at him, and greeted them.
"Oy! Mornin to ya two." He said, as he rubbed his face, and then froze as he immediately noticed that something was wrong. In a panic be began to look around, and finally caught a reflection of himself on the vanity chest.
He screamed
Xxxx
"I-I dunno lads, it just doesn't seem like somethin I would do." Cromm confessed as they all walked toward the 'poor side' of the market district. They needed supplies and intended to begin their investigation. Hrist's late night scouting had revealed where the gate to the noble district was, and that's where Arngrim and she planned to go. The rest were in charge of restocking on things like potions and rations.
"Oh yes, you totally said that you needed a new look last night! You probably don't remember because you were drunk." Roderick said nervously.
"…Is that when you guys decided to shave yer heads?"
Rod's and Mylan's lips began to quiver for a second, like they wanted to cry. Then they both noticed the dark look they were receiving from the reaper of souls behind them, and the 'you know what to say' message she was wordlessly conveying. Their punishment for violating Cromm's beard in his sleep was that they too had to shave themselves.
They didn't have beards…
"Oh yeah," Mylan said sadly, as he rubbed the baby-but-smooth top of his head "I thought that monks looked so cool, that I wanted to try out their style."
There was a little bit of truth of in that statement. He sort of looked like he should be living on a mountain somewhere. Were it not for the multi-colored intricate patterns of his mage robes, people would totally be expecting him to drop down to his knees and start praising Buddha at any second.
As for Roderick… well, maybe it was his age, or maybe it was the light armor he wore, but he fell more on the 'I just joined a cult' side of the bald spectrum. It would probably be a while before he would be able to drink any juice and/or punch, without people staring at him, waiting for him to keel over and join the mother ship.
"If you lads say so" He noticed an adorable little girl off to the side, she was playing with her dolly when she looked up at the hulking Viking. He smiled at her, and to his confusion she turned pale and ran away.
"Mommy!"she screamed at the top of her lungs. Cromm was flabbergasted.
"That's like, the fifth kid to do that!" he turned to the others "is it something about the way I look?" they collectively gave a false 'no' or 'it's just your imagination'
Nobody had the heart to tell him, but the mustache that the two had left him, was just the right shape and puffiness to trigger a deep-rooted and instinctive fear in any child he saw.
I… I wish there were a better way to put this, so I'll just go out and say it. Cromm had a pedo'stach.
That's right, our favorite Viking had facial hair that was a popular look amongst the people in 'To Catch A Predator'(medieval edition). Though he didn't know it, he was at serious risk of walking into a room, only to have the great, great, greatgreatgreat grandson of Chris Hanson step out of the shadows and ask him to have a seat.
"Alright men," Leone said. Gaining everyone's attention "Arngrim and I shall head to the noble district to investigate. I hereby authorize you three to make any purchases you feel are necessary for our supply cache. This includes food, medical supplies and any equipment upgrades you deem fit" Hrist adjusted the ponytail to her disguise then remembered something to add as an afterthought. "and by no means do I want you to buy a bunch of beer, and call it good" she spat irritably. Arngrim threw his arms into the air, and groaned.
"One time, I only did that one time!" she turned to glare at him for a long second before she turned back to Rod and Mylan. The way the sun glared off their chrome-domes caught her attention.
"You may also purchase a hat, should you desire…"
I was actually pretty dern unhappy with this chapter, but twas a necessary evil to move the plot along.
However, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i really think you're gonna enjoy the next chapter as there shall be some major asskickery! as well as the first major plot twist!