Chapter 14
AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen.(by doing what chucking a cement block at you?) im sory ah kudnt update(we're not complaining) but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.(imitating your characters I see, your parents must be so proud of you) PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god (we can't pretend to be god, he wouldn't spend his time reading this nightmare to begin with)revoiws!
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY.(grammar, story plot, character butching, what else?) VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.(yes tell your parents about this rated R story)
We ran to where Volcemort was.(why run towards the deranged man) It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there.(...did you see him a second ago in the last chapter, and then you guys ran towards him and now he's not there...is there a speck of dirt on your glasses)Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was(atleast you know how to spell his name now). Draco was there crying tears of blood(quick give him black kleenex...I don't want him to stain the white ones). Snaketail(wrong animal) was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.(smart)
"Rid my sight you despicable preps!"(so he's asking you to turn him blind? is that it, well strip naked and he will) he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he(the gun he what? and btw you guys are wizards some spells are more affective then a damn bullet) Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes(so much for not turning into a Mary Sue). "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)(well then that messes up the ENTIRE Novel)
"Huh?" I asked. "Enoby(how can you mess up your own characters name?) I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard."(there's no need to put the word fuck in a sentence that many times) I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.(quick get a plug)
"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around.(does that remind you of a chicken who got his head cut off?) Then he fell down and died.(if you think about it, if you got stabbed in the heart you woulfn't be able to run around like that) I brust into tears sadly.(sadly as in you didn't mean to, and why... I thought you hated him?)
"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort.(ah the shakespearen voldemort is still here) Then… he started coming!(OMG RUN..towards the cliff he won't follow you over that) We could hear his high heels (never knew he wore high heels, doesn't seem like that kind of guy...wouldn't be that feared if he did wear some)clacking to us.(damn it gave him away) So we got on our broomsticks(where did those come from?) and we flew to Hogwarts.(in England, North Pole, Africa or Scotland?) We went to my room.(short sentences like that are extremely confusing and pathetic) Vampire went away. There I started crying.(ugh it's like talking in this sort of way 'I went to the mall. I paid for something. Got lost. Depressed. Slit wrists. Dead. Tomb stone...Did you know there's also a thing called 17 reasons not to slit your wrist by. Micheal Moore)
"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.(I guess Voldemort wasn't a satisfying screw) He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)(a six pack you mean? and I know guys who don't really have some and there sexy too) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.(still can't say the word or words I see what a pity and what's the everything stand for, muscle, hair, teeth come on give us a hint)
"Its so unfair!" I yielded.(you produced that responce, that what yielded stands for you know) "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here(wow someone's conceited, get the eggs) except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."(I have a feeling you're not that pretty to begin with)
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.(-_- I.m starting to really hate your stereotypes Tara)" answered Draco.
"Yeah but everyone is in love with me!(jesus christ, how full of yourself can one person get) Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!(but he's dead) I just wanna be with you ok Draco!(no one's stoping you, you don,t have to be with them, freedom of choice is an option) Why couldn't Satan(leave him out of this) have made me less beautiful?"(I could do something to fix it, just need to get a bit of supplies but i'm sure all those FLAIMING PREPS would like a piece of you) I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty)(so she's delusional?) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.(ya that's not Mary Sue to the max is it...and runing away again, why can't you just get lost somewhere or fall into a hole)