I knew. Jake knew. Paul certainly knew. Others knew. And now Jake knew I knew. But no one else knew that I knew. Or necessarily what I knew. At least I don't think they knew that I knew. But I could be wrong. I don't know.

I managed to get to Emily's without any more unexpected heaving. I think the shock of recent events might've just gotten to me. My stomach began to settle as I headed up Emily's front steps in front of Jake. Really, it was the least I could ask. Dealing with this while my stomach was not trying to turn itself inside out was not a big request.

Emily gave me a gentle hug and a cup of tea as I came in the house. It was just us. Jake had gone off somewhere out back. I'd heard the screen door.

"So," Emily began, "welcome to the club."

"Thanks," I released a tired chuckle. "Can I ask you a question?" I liked Emily. I had only just met her since I returned home but I'd gotten to know her over the past two weeks and I have to say I liked her.

"That's what I'm here for," she shrugged.

"Why," I asked, "Why am I allowed to know all of a sudden? How come it's been this big secret for so long and now it all changes?"

Emily nodded. "There are only a select few reasons that any of them can tell an individual who doesn't shift. The fewer people know, the better."

"And obviously you know," I continued.

"Yep," she took a sip from her mug, "for the same reason that you know."

"And what would that be?" Why did I suddenly get the secret? And from Paul of all people, who I'd known a grand total of three hours? What planet was I on? Why couldn't my brother tell me this? Lord knows I've been bugging him about it since I got back, and now it was just all here?

"I can't tell you," she shook her head. "But you'll know soon enough. That's why were here."

This felt remarkably like an intervention. Or maybe an AA meeting. I'd never been to either, but I gathered that this was probably what it looked like. We were all sitting in a circle. Jake on my left as I slumped unceremoniously into his side – I had pretty much said 'screw this big sister bullshit' for the time being. I mean he was physically twenty five? Who cared. Emily was in the arm chair next to me and Sam and Paul occupied the sofa across from us.

"So what do you know?" Sam asked me, leaning forward.

"I know the legends are true," I replied. "And it affects you, and my brother and Paul and Quil and Seth and Leah and Embry and Collin and Brady and Jared and everyone else that looks like you. I know it only happens to some of you."

Sam nodded seeming to appreciate that I'd come this far with Paul's botched revelation attempt.

"But why?" I asked. "Why does it only happen to some of you? And – no offense – why the hell did Paul have to tell me?"

They all just sort of looked at each other. Like they were performing some kind of mental consult with each other. "You only get one of those questions today, Rach," Jake informed me.

"Why?" I looked up.

"Because there's only so much of your puke I can take in a day."

I didn't know how to decide. Why Paul of all people revealed the Great Quileute Secret versus why this canine issue only surfaced in some the boys. I decided that the whole thing with Paul was really eating at my mind and knowing the exact science behind each boy's transformation was just kind of a fun fact.

"Okay," I said coming to a decision. "I want to know why Paul was the one to tell me. But if that's the only question allowed, I want something else."

Sam, Paul and Jake just looked at me dubiously. It wasn't that extreme. I rolled my eyes, "I want to see what you all look like."

"Deal," Sam nodded. "But that first question… Well, why don't the three of us step outside and… yeah."

So it was just Paul and I left in Emily's living room. I scrunched up, my back to the arm of the couch and pulled a nearby quilt around me. Paul crossed the room joining me on the couch.

"You all right?" He asked with genuine concern. His hand ghosted over my forehead. "I heard you were sick." I don't know what it was with Paul, but the more time I spent with him the softer he got. It was only when it was the two of us, but he'd gone from being kind of uptight, awkward and angry to just so chilled out. The second anyone else was in the room he snapped back to the original. It was… odd?

I nodded with a grimace. My throat was still raw from my car ride over here, plus I didn't like advertising my heaving all over the side of the road. "Yeah," I nodded. "Shock."

"Sorry," he nodded and just watched me for a while, thinking. "I don't know how to start this," he told me honestly.

I cleared my throat, peeking my head out of the quilt like a turtle. "Emily said that there are only a select few reasons why this secret you guys have, your ability to…"

"Shapeshift," Paul supplied.

"Yeah," I responded. That was a good word for it. "There are only a few reasons why a shapeshifter can reveal the secret to someone who isn't."

"That's true," he agreed. "Your dad knows because he's a tribal elder. Sort of the same deal with Old Quil and Sue Clearwater. Part of it's inevitable – I'm honestly surprised Jake kept it from you for as long as he did. I lost that bet… Anyways, some people just need to know. We need some people on the outside."

"Okay," I nodded, "So necessity. That's one."

"And some people just know by accident. For instance, my mom knows because she saw my first shift. If I didn't tell her, she would've been a tad concerned afterwards."

"You don't say," I muttered.

"Your dad knows, also, because Jake shifted in your kitchen. The scratches on the floor are not from their rearranging the furniture."

I smirked a little and looked up at his face. "That makes a lot more sense," I admitted. "So some people know out of necessity. Some people know by accident and - like the Tribal Council - some just know by default?" He nodded, affirming my summary. "But where does that leave Emily. She knows, obviously. And she said I'd know for the same reason she does. As far as I can see neither of us fall into any of your categories."

I wasn't really one of those people that needed to know. Jake and Billy – apparently – had kept this from me for a while. And I hadn't been present for any freak wolfy accidents. So why me, why now?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I know – despite my panicked state – but I can't wrap my head around the logic of the reveal within the confines of tribal or pack law.

"Okay," Paul said, his voice becoming low and serious. He faced me and this look of concentration overcame his face.

"Wait," I held a hand up. He looked up at me, slightly shocked. "Would you chill? You look like you're going to freak out. I've got enough of that in my system right now. So just… be calm."

He nodded a few times silently. He tried to calm down. It didn't work. Eventually I reached my arms out of my blanket cocoon. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "Shoulders down," I pressed firmly. "Stop that!" I insisted as his eyebrows furrowed together. I reached up to his face, covering it with my hands, "Calm. Down." I used my thumbs and pushed the corners of his mouth up into a smile, mostly just to release the intense amount of tension he seemed to carry in his face.

I finally reached down and grasped his enormous hands in my own. "Stop twitching. It's okay. Things could be worse. You could be alone on the side of a road facing down a genetically altered predator exponentially larger than you."

"That I could," he agreed.

"All right," he launched from there, "so there is this thing that the wolves occasionally do. It seems pretty random but we're not really sure. Anyways, it's this instinct that's triggered inside us. It helps us find the one."

"The one?" I asked confused. "What do you mean?"

"The one," Paul repeated. "Like The One. Soul mates?"

"Oh!" I replied, "Okay, I get it. Keep going."

"Well, it's called imprinting. Jared imprinted on Kim; Quil on Claire—"

"Whoa, wait—"

"Yes, yes, yes," Paul nodded, "the man imprinted on a toddler. I know. He'll just be a big brother for the next decade. The imprinter fills whatever relationship need that is required of the imprintee. So, if the imprint needs a best friend that's what we are. If you need a brother, a body guard, a boyfriend a life mate - any of that. We naturally fill that role."

I remembered seeing Jared with Kim. They didn't have one of those obnoxious relationships – which was nice – they both just seem contented knowing they were meant for each other. And Quil toted that little girl around like nobody's business. I was on the verge of asking Jacob if it was his and I just seriously missed something in my semester at class. Then I thought about Emily, who's very house I was in.

"Emily and Sam?" I quirked a brow. He just nodded solemnly, his hands closing in my own. "So this just kind of puts a big neon sign on your soul mate then?"

"It's more than that," he continued. "The imprinter – the wolf – everything in his head changes. It's like all of a sudden it's only that girl that matters," he was looking right at me, really trying to drive this message home. "Any other emotional ties you held with anyone – anyone – they fade. You'd do anything for the person. Soul mates is kind of taken out of context and most people think of it romantically, but it's just some one who is your other half. Some one who's always there when you need them. It can be romantic - but that's not necessarily so."

There was some other connection here I was not getting. I stared down at our intertwined hands, trying to think. The imprinting, the wolves, Sam, Emily, Quil, Claire… I remembered this all went back to my original question. Why Paul was the one to reveal this all to me. Paul said people knew out of necessity, accident and now this was the third reason. Emily had told me that I know about the wolves for the same reason she knew. Emily was imprinted.

Oh my god. I thought back through recent history. Paul's initial introduction, the way he constantly looked at me, the sweatshirt, the dance, the big reveal, his glaringly obvious statement: 'I like you, Rachel.' His instinctual relaxation around me? It all made sense. It all made sense…

I looked up, my eyes wide. "Paul," I attempted evenly, "how do you know what all this imprinting business feels like?"

"Rachel, hon?" he reached up cupping my face. "I have imprinted. I've lived it."

My hands clapped over my face. "Holy shit…" I was right.

"You imprinted on me," It wasn't a question.

Needless to say, I ended up blacking out on some more spaces of time after that. I suddenly remember hardwood. I was very close to these wide slats of hardwood, worn smooth from use.

The floor would come closer and then move further away. Back and forth in a rhythmic pattern the floor moved towards and away from me. I was hyperventilating. And my head was between my knees.

"In through your nose, out through your mouth," I heard come to me through the fog. I soon recognized it as Paul's and could feel him rubbing a steady rhythm between my shoulder blades. "Rachel I really need you to breathe; I am not good with body fluids."

A laugh hicupped through my chest and the interruption of the deep inhales helped me regain control of my own lungs. I finally had a normal pattern down and was able to close my mouth. My lips felt dry and cracked and I was forcefully reminded of how horrible I must look right now. I chose to keep my head between my knees. At this rate, I'd end up back here soon enough so I might as well make myself comfortable.

"I'm all right," I assured Paul. I could see his face - upside down - through my periphery. He looked like he was worse off than me. He sat on the couch next to me and I reached for the hand that wasn't at my back. "Paul, I need you to calm down for me. You're freaking out is freaking me out. You're doing fine. Just... Please? Help me out?"

I didn't know it at the time but that was Paul and I's first imprint/imprintee interaction. At that moment I'd really needed a rock. If I saw other people panicking it would just get me more riled up. He must've felt that subliminal biological request in my touch because he did really well after that. I'd needed stability in that moment and that's what he was for me.

An hour later I'd sat up straight and drank down another cup of tea. Jake, Sam and Emily had returned and we'd resumed much the same positions as before. Except now I was slumped into Paul's side - not my brother's.

Part of me said I might as well get used to this guy because there wasn't a hell of a lot to get rid of him. I'd kind of been a bit uneasy after calming down because imprinting sounded a lot like some kind of genetically arranged marriage. But Paul assured me - once again - that he would become whatever I needed. I'd asked what that meant for him. Would his feelings about me change as mine did about him.

"Well," he shrugged, "no matter what, I'm going to think you're absolutely fucking perfect. But I could just feel like your buddy or it could turn to something else..." he trailed off. "but you control all that."

Paul and I would argue about the dynamics of our mutual choices in this fiasco at a later date. Right now I was just gathering information.

It wasn't simply resigning myself to living forever with Paul at my side in some way because it wasn't a burden like that. You can only argue choices and fairness in the beginning stages of imprinting for so long because he naturally snapped into a comforting and protective force around me. And who was I to deny that? It's what I wanted. What I needed. He just made me feel better.

I tried not to think about the fact that I'd only met him about four hours ago because it spiked my panic and I had bigger fish to fry at the moment. When you get imprinted you have to sort your panic and argument priorities because there's a lot of both and if you take them on all at once you'll go crazy.

So I slumped onto the side of my current security blanket. He was rather content with his arm over the back of the couch and my head on his shoulder.

I was getting the run down of all things werewolf. This is what I gathered:

#1. They're all sweaty all the time
#2. It's a pack of boys that run around half naked - or fully naked depending on the situation - in the woods and are subject to constant mood swings.
#3. Some are higher on the food chain then others. It goes Sam, Jake, Jared, Paul, Embry.
#4. My little brother is apparently some genetic heir to Alpha-hood but is being too much a pansy to do anything about it - even when Sam offers it to him.
#5. They protect the reservation from beings unknown to me - apparently that's part of the question I don't get answered today; why wolves happen in the first place, is tied what they're protecting us from.
#6. They heal like superheroes.
#7. They read each others minds.

After that I stopped them because my brain was saturated. "Well, that's about it for now anyways," Jake shrugged.

"Are you three going to hold up your end of the deal now?" I asked. "Do I get to see you in all your fluffy glory or what?"

Emily and I sat on the steps in the dark as the three boys - Sam, Paul and Jake made for the woods of the backyard. I yawned compulsively and shivered into the quilt I still had clutched around me. "Tired?" Emily asked.

"Ugh," I sighed, "just drained. It has been one hell of an evening. And it's only," I wrested my arm from the folds of the blanket to consult my wrist, "two in the morning."

"I won't lie," Emily began, "I think you're taking this all really well."

"I don't think it's hit home yet. I'm sure I've got a few more breakdowns in my future. But you guys explained it pretty well."

"And the imprinting thing," she quirked a brow, "it doesn't bother you at all?"

"Well of course it does," I disagreed. "but I can't help feeling that it doesn't happen totally randomly. There has a deeper meaning behind it all. Who am I to argue with the alignment of the rest of the world. I'm not saying I'm complacent. But part of me feels like there's gotta be something between Paul and I if his genes would mutate and torture him in some way. Wolves are all about survival right? I don't think he'd choose someone who'd reject him."

Emily nodded as she thought over my half coherent babble. Apparently it made some sense. "Most of us just sort of hinge on the idea of a soul mate and that sends us into overdrive."

"Yeah," I squinted my eyes as I stared into the distance. "I can see where that would be the logical reaction. But a soul mate doesn't have to be a romantic thing," I replied, echoing Paul's earlier explanation, "it could just be someone who matches you. Even if it's a friend."

Emily gave me a once over with a knowing eye, "Touché."

Our eyes were drawn to the treeline as three hulking forms appeared. Wolves the size of horses with paws bigger than trashcan lids stepped silently through the yard. They eventually plopped down about ten feet from the front stoop. On the left was a totally black wolf; he sat almost perfectly still and watched me with careful eyes. The gray one in the center laid down, placing his head on his front paws. The reddish brown one on the right had his tongue hanging out to one side. It almost looked like he was smiling.

"That one is-" Emily began before I interceded.

""Wait! Could I guess?" I asked. She signaled me to go ahead and I stood from the stoop. I slowly approached the black one on the left. These boys were still five feet tall sitting down.

"You can pet them," Emily told me, "they do still like a good scratch." I reached up carefully and the black wolf ducked his head beneath my outstretched palm, encouraging me along. My natural survival instinct was still telling me that petting something with those teeth probably wasn't a good idea.

I gingerly rubbed his snout before moving to the top of his head. Up close, I could tell this wolf was totally jet black. Not black with flecks of gray or brown - totally black. A rare trait in furry animals.

I crouched down when I came upon the middle gray wolf. He looked up at me with doleful eyes and a contented whine echoed from his throat as I scratched his behind his ears. After a moment he nudged my arm with his snout then my elbow and I could feel his hot breath on my abdomen - he was sniffing me; getting my scent I presume.

When I approached the smiling red wolf he reached down and licked the entire length of my arm. "EW!" I cried in disgust. I turned back to Emily, "This one's my brother, isn't it?" I asked her. Because my initial reaction had been, 'EW! Jake!' but at the last minute I clipped off the instinctual blaming of gross things on him. It would've been weird if it wasn't Jake. But wasn't licking - like with dogs - a sign of affection? I would've felt very strange if Sam or Paul had licked me, I won't lie. Emily simply nodded.

"In that case," I took a few steps forward and wiped Jacob's dog spit on his own shoulder. He just whined at me and snapped his jaws closed.

I looked at the other two and tried to decide who was who. They didn't really resemble their human selves so I didn't have much to work with. The black wolf had still not moved - except to turn his head - and the gray one had picked his head up now. His head reached my elbow.

I kind of thought the black one was Sam. I still got this strange sense of formality from him. This stoicism I couldn't place. And if Sam was Alpha he wouldn't have laid down in front of me, or in front of other pack members - least of all his Beta - that was a submissive gesture wasn't it?

Finally I pointed to the black one, "Sam," I said looking to Emily and then, "Paul," pointing to the gray one.

"Wow," she smiled in admiration good job. "How'd you figure it out?"

"Well," I shrugged, "Sam hasn't really moved since he sat there. He does that when he's human. Almost like he's in the military. And Paul... Process of elimination? None of them really look like their human selves."

"Only some stuff," Emily got up to join me, "Sam's got the same colored hair and fur. Jake is still always smiling..." I looked over and found his goofball grin had reappeared. It made me smile too. I hadn't seen him smiling this much since I'd been home. That really cemented the nature of the wolves in my mind. This was natural. This was good. I know now that they complain a lot and the burden of being perceived as a degenerate bum by the rest of the town is hard. However, it's worth it to them. There's something about being able to shift. Something in that new form that gives them freedom, reason and happiness. Some of them may be inclined to disagree with me, but I say it's the best thing that's happened to most of them.

My brain jarred back into the present as Emily finally came to stand next to me, "...and Paul still has his blue eyes."

I stepped in front of Paul and stooped down, taking his enormous furry noggin in my hands. Emily was right. Paul had crystal clear blue eyes. "I didn't even notice that earlier," I said quietly. "It must've been because it's been so dark. They're always this color?"

Paul nodded his head and gently bumped his moist nose against my forehead. I squinted my eyes trying imagine what blue eyes would look like against his tanned skin and dark hair. I'd never seen Paul in the light. The bonfire cast strange shadows and Emily's place had only been lit by the light from the kitchen. I thought about the distinctive things I did remember. Big white smile, large gentle hands, long nose with a small bump on the bridge. I remembered seeing brown and auburn streaks in his hair reflected from the fire light. Paul must not have been pure Quileute.

I enjoyed the feel of his thick fur between my fingers. It was warm and incredibly thick. Every time I ruffled it, I stirred the smell of pine and mustiness. Eventually I sat between Paul and Jake - leaning against Paul with my feet propped on Jacob's back. Sam came over and sat next to Emily. For a while we were all quiet. No talking. No wolfy growls or whines.

"You know boys," I said fiddling with the grass blades beneath me, "this is really, really weird. And when I wake up from this roofie-induced coma, I'm beating the crap out of all three of you. Even if you weren't involved."